Lots of boys Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 So this is out first year homeschooling - we are half way through the year and I am feeling burned out a little. Don't get me wrong - I am still glad I did it and want to continue but I just find my patience is short lately and I am wondering if you folks have any advice. Here are my biggest issues: My ds 7 (almost 8) has ADHD and bounces around the house constanly. He is very loud all the time and so can be very distracting during group work (I do constantly try to correct his distruptive behaviour but it is often not intentional and he isn't aware he is even being disruptful until I ask him to stop). He can't sit still very long and has a hard time focusing. My ds 5 is just a typical 5 year old but generally compliant. He does however get distracted by his older brother easily. My ds 3 has some developmental delays. I have a lot of guilt because he often gets shhhh 'ed a lot during school time or just walks around the house causing problems until we have to stop what we are working on and address him. I find if I have to stop my lesson with my older boys even for a second to work on something with my 3 year old - my other sons go wild and get completely off track.I do have some time planned in the day to do some preschool activities with him and he enjoys this - but it is about 20 min a day - not much in an entire day!! I just find I am doing a lot more behaviour correcting (please sit down, please stop talking, please sit up, please pay attention etc. etc. a million times a day) than I thought would be necessary. I am also finding my patience is shot by the end of the day and I am nagging them or raising my voice at them - which I am always regretful about later. Does this get easier... I really want my boys to have a wonderful homeschooling experience and WANT to be home but I fear if it continues this way my oldest will ask to go back to school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mombygrace Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 :grouphug: it can get better. I find that at that age short lessons and giving the children things to do during the lesson helped. They sat on a balance balance disc, played with play putty etc. that helped them focus on the lesson more. HTH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Well this is my first year too, and I have been told it is only normal to feel like you want to stop, quit, give up, question yourself, etc. One thing that has helped me is trying to find some independent "school" activities for when I really need to give more attention to someone else. I use puzzles, playdough, different crafts, and yes, the computer. I have used Time4learning among other websites. I listed them on my blog. I have had to rely on a multitude of different sources/mediums to get the job done. We often do some school every weekend (science is so much fun), and weeknights - that way my dh and I can tag team a little, and it is so much easier. I often have my older dd read to my younger dd, or to her brother. Hang in there. Don't be afraid to think out of the box. I was told that the first year is the hardest because you are trying to learn how to teach, you are learning what works and what doesn't for each kid (and this can change overnight). There are some wonderful women on here that are hs boys that might be able to give you some more ideas. My older 2 are girls, but boy oh boy, I can already see how things are going to be different when I start teaching my boy. Look at my blog - you can see some wonderful pics of what my house looks like on any normal day of hsing - you will laugh!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 No advice, just :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swainsonshawk Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) I absolutely know what you are saying. I have been there. I still am there very often. My oldest was completely the same way and I felt torn with managing his behavior, keeping up with the littlest, not forgetting the middle one, etc, etc. It can be very hard to homeschool, but it is SO worth it! Here are some practical things that I did to make it through. Make a behavior management system. We used popsicle sticks and a jelly bean jar. Three popsicle sticks for the day for each kid and each time they were really awful, they'd lose a stick and a therefore a penny to put in the jelly bean jar at the end of the school day. Combine things as much as possible. Focus things around your oldest's schedule--when he is doing writing, have the little kids "do writing" to. If you stand up and walk around the table, helping first one, then the other, it keeps them moving along and it is a little lesson for the oldest on how to work more independently (with you right there). Make a quiet time for your sanity. Get everyone to lay quietly and look at books or draw for an hour or so each day. Just doing this one thing may save your sanity and keep you from feeling like an ogre at the end of the day. Alternatively, stop focusing on school work and focus instead on the rhythm of the school day. Try to get everyone on board with the expectation of sitting still for listening time (keep it short) staying at the table for table time, etc. Discuss behavior expectations and reward, reward, reward. Drop some subjects--are you trying to teach a foreign language or even history or science? These are optional subjects in my opinion at this age. Focus on the basics and add things in as your children grow. Also, we only school three days a week. The other two weekdays are spent: at the library story time, going to the zoo, cleaning the house, running errands. I've been running this schedule for 9 years and it is enough to teach what the kids need to know. It can be hard to fit in a complete 180 day curriculum, but spread it out over two years, cut some of the lessons, double up--whatever works. I hope you have a better day tomorrow! Hugs from a fellow mom in the trenches! Edited January 18, 2012 by swainsonshawk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in the UP of MI Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) This is my third year homeschooling and I'd say that what has made the biggest difference for us is having a good routine/schedule for our days. I teach everyone separately. When they are older it might work to combine, but my oldest is easily distracted (she is getting so much better, though) and needs me to be focused on her when she's doing school work. It sounds like both your 7yo and your 5yo need your focused, one-on-one attention, too. Then maybe the one who isn't doing school work could play with the 3yo. Edited January 18, 2012 by Lisa in the UP of MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 My dd14 is an Aspie and also ADHD & OCD and my ds10 is profoundly Autistic. Believe me I know what a challenge it can be. What has worked for me may not work for you, but I'll tell you what I did that worked best for us. With my dd, I always schedule the most difficult subject first to get it out of the way. I give her a short break after every completed task so that she can work out her wiggles. When she was the age of your dc I gave lots of rewards (stickers for job well done, hand stamps etc) heaps of praise for the positive things or the things that she really worked hard on and then brought up the things that "needed a little more work". My dd is very sensitive and so for me I had to approach her that way or she got discouraged and wouldn't try. Another thing I did was to give her "terrific tickets" which were redeemable for prizes at the end of the week. I would lay all of the prizes out on the bed with the corresponding price (number of tickets). I always had one high desire object that I knew she really wanted as a higher ticket price and had lots of lower priced items (like dollar store toys etc) that were a lower ticket price (less tickets). I would then award her a ticket for accomplishing something that I knew was very difficult for her. And at the end of the week she could buy something with her tickets in the "store". This really helped my dd to work toward a goal. Another thing that we did was to do as much learning in a "hands on" way as possible rather than all through books. If there was a way to make something a game or to do it in another location etc. we went that way as much as possible. We did lots of field trips and unit studies when she was young and she absorbed it all and learned. Then when the time came for the book learning it wasn't quite so overwhelming to her because it wasn't all books, kwim? Daily time to run around outside was also very important for my dd. She would just want to fly to pieces if she was kept in the house too long. She had to have outside time and frequent breaks. We couldn't homeschool with books outside because she was just too distracted to stay focused, but we could do nature studies, digging in the dirt, P.E. etc and then come home later with a book about what we saw outside to study. Like I said, every child is different and what worked with mine might not work for yours, but it might also. I wish you all the very best. I know how hard it is to homeschool special kiddos. Sometimes I feel like I'm just barely hanging on. But when you get that end of the year evaluation and hear how well they did and how much they learned, I think you will feel that it was all worth it. I wish you well. :grouphug: :grouphug: Blessings, Jennifer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 So this is out first year homeschooling - we are half way through the year and I am feeling burned out a little. Don't get me wrong - I am still glad I did it and want to continue but I just find my patience is short lately and I am wondering if you folks have any advice. Here are my biggest issues: My ds 7 (almost 8) has ADHD and bounces around the house constanly. He is very loud all the time and so can be very distracting during group work (I do constantly try to correct his distruptive behaviour but it is often not intentional and he isn't aware he is even being disruptful until I ask him to stop). He can't sit still very long and has a hard time focusing. My ds 5 is just a typical 5 year old but generally compliant. He does however get distracted by his older brother easily. My ds 3 has some developmental delays. I have a lot of guilt because he often gets shhhh 'ed a lot during school time or just walks around the house causing problems until we have to stop what we are working on and address him. I find if I have to stop my lesson with my older boys even for a second to work on something with my 3 year old - my other sons go wild and get completely off track.I do have some time planned in the day to do some preschool activities with him and he enjoys this - but it is about 20 min a day - not much in an entire day!! I just find I am doing a lot more behaviour correcting (please sit down, please stop talking, please sit up, please pay attention etc. etc. a million times a day) than I thought would be necessary. I am also finding my patience is shot by the end of the day and I am nagging them or raising my voice at them - which I am always regretful about later. Does this get easier... I really want my boys to have a wonderful homeschooling experience and WANT to be home but I fear if it continues this way my oldest will ask to go back to school My approach to younger kids is far different from the majority of the posters on this forum, so this may not be something you want to consider. ;) My kids only spend about 1 hr/grade level on academic work. I do NOT combine my kids, especially when they are younger. So, assuming the 7 yr old is in 2nd grade and the 5 yr old in K, I would plan on 3 solid hrs of academic work/day. I would not work w/any of the kids together. Since the 7 yr old is the one w/ADHD, I would work strictly with him first and never move from his side. While working with him, the 3 and 5 yr old can be doing whatever they want to do. I would pick the core subject that he likes least to do first. I would sit beside him and help him stay on task and focused. If he needs a break at that pt, I would let him go play and work with the Ker. If he is fine, I would not stop and continue w/him until all core subjects are done. (My Aspie was very ADHD (still is). It was easier for me to get him on task and keep him there than attempt to drag him back and re-focus after a break. You need to find the rhythm that works for you and him.) With kids the ages of your kids, you should not be struggling to find time to assist your 3 yr old. I wouldn't worry about any subjects beyond language arts (reading, spelling, handwriting, etc) and math until you feel you have completely mastered not only a flow that works for your kids, but one that works with you and has you with the majority of your day free. Then and only then, when you have a routine that resembles what makes you feel like you are completely in control, would I even consider adding back in extra subject matter. Even then, it can be as simply as great lit for bedtime stories, or reading a living history book that captures all of their attentions, or having the kids pick books from the library on science topics that they want to hear about. FWIW, my Aspie could never sit still. He was always allowed to play with Legos while I read aloud. He could look like he was paying zero attention to anything I was reading, but if asked a question, he could almost always repeat verbatim what I had read. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lots of boys Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Thanks everyone, your replies have been so nice. I loved seeing some of the pics of your homeschool areas. It is so nice to know I'm not alone. I do a lot of the suggestions you have given like work with them independantly if possible and have my other older play with my 3 year old during this time. This works well for us. What I'm not very good at is rewarding for good behaviour. I need a system that is easy to implement and track. I don't want one that just adds a whole bunch more work to my plate. My ds 3 is still not complettely toilet trained and so I also feel like I have to jump between working with my older kids and watching/catching my ds 3 in time (frequently) to get him to the bathroom before an accident. I know it will get easier - i just need to work on my patience and remember to take time out for me if I feel like I am getting to the end of my rope :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewelma Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 My kids only spend about 1 hr/grade level on academic work. I do NOT combine my kids, especially when they are younger. So, assuming the 7 yr old is in 2nd grade and the 5 yr old in K, I would plan on 3 solid hrs of academic work/day. I would not work w/any of the kids together. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birchbark Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 :grouphug: stop focusing on school work and focus instead on the rhythm of the school day. Try to get everyone on board with the expectation of sitting still for listening time (keep it short) staying at the table for table time, etc. Discuss behavior expectations and reward, reward, reward. Drop some subjects I wouldn't worry about any subjects beyond language arts (reading, spelling, handwriting, etc) and math until you feel you have completely mastered not only a flow that works for your kids, but one that works with you and has you with the majority of your day free. Then and only then, when you have a routine that resembles what makes you feel like you are completely in control, would I even consider adding back in extra subject matter. Even then, it can be as simply as great lit for bedtime stories, or reading a living history book that captures all of their attentions, or having the kids pick books from the library on science topics that they want to hear about. :iagree: Take a couple weeks off to regroup and work on child training. It will make everything go smoother and be time well spent! And I agree with dropping everything except math and LA until you feel you all have a handle on things. You can always add other stuff in later. Enjoy these younger school years while you can! Don't let yourself feel pressured to cover it "all." Make sure to leave plenty of wiggle room and time for fun stuff. Try wearing your kiddos out before starting school. I often have my DS run around the house "X" number of times any time they start bouncing off the walls. This is especially helpful with boys. Good luck! We all have our hard days, but homeschooling is rewarding! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I just find I am doing a lot more behaviour correcting (please sit down, please stop talking, please sit up, please pay attention etc. etc. a million times a day) than I thought would be necessary. I consider that to be a major part of education. I wouldn't say it interfered with education at all, and not even with academics. Your eldest son will have his tendencies for his whole life, and part of his education is going to be learning to contend with them. So don't feel that taking the time to work with behavior isn't as important as his academic work. It's also good to remind yourself that your eldest has a significant reason for his inability to focus or quit talking or to quit bouncing around the table. I don't know what all you have done to treat his ADHD, but I don't think anybody would dispute that this is a challenge that may only be manageable, not overcome. I don't have an ADHD child, just an hFA child, and I have needed to accept that my son, while very bright, takes much more of my time in certain areas than his twin and that his education issues are tied to a real learning disability. He's at the same level as his twin in some things, about six months behind in others, and ahead in yet other areas. It's not because he's not bright, it is because his mind literally can't do what I ask of it, in the way that I ask. One of my jobs is to find out how to help him figure out how to get around his learning disability, and there's probably an equal part of teaching myself how to accept what is, and celebrate where his brightness can break through the clouds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 My approach to younger kids is far different from the majority of the posters on this forum, so this may not be something you want to consider. ;) My kids only spend about 1 hr/grade level on academic work. I do NOT combine my kids, especially when they are younger. So, assuming the 7 yr old is in 2nd grade and the 5 yr old in K, I would plan on 3 solid hrs of academic work/day. I would not work w/any of the kids together. Since the 7 yr old is the one w/ADHD, I would work strictly with him first and never move from his side. While working with him, the 3 and 5 yr old can be doing whatever they want to do. I would pick the core subject that he likes least to do first. I would sit beside him and help him stay on task and focused. If he needs a break at that pt, I would let him go play and work with the Ker. If he is fine, I would not stop and continue w/him until all core subjects are done. (My Aspie was very ADHD (still is). It was easier for me to get him on task and keep him there than attempt to drag him back and re-focus after a break. You need to find the rhythm that works for you and him.) :iagree: and the bolded things are the approaches that worked for us in these young grades as well. I did combine my kids for non-skill subjects (reading a science or history read-aloud, Bible, and of course literature for bedtime reading), but not for skill-based subjects. Be aware of nutrition and exercise also, as both of these can highly impact kids with ADHD. As others have said, be willing to drop some subjects or to alternate them (you don't need history and science daily in K or 2nd grade for example). (((Hugs))) and hang in there! Merry :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatYoung17 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 [ My kids only spend about 1 hr/grade level on academic work. I do NOT combine my kids, especially when they are younger. So, assuming the 7 yr old is in 2nd grade and the 5 yr old in K, I would plan on 3 solid hrs of academic work/day. I would not work w/any of the kids together. Since the 7 yr old is the one w/ADHD, I would work strictly with him first and never move from his side. While working with him, the 3 and 5 yr old can be doing whatever they want to do. I would pick the core subject that he likes least to do first. I would sit beside him and help him stay on task and focused. If he needs a break at that pt, I would let him go play and work with the Ker. If he is fine, I would not stop and continue w/him until all core subjects are done. (My Aspie was very ADHD (still is). It was easier for me to get him on task and keep him there than attempt to drag him back and re-focus after a break. You need to find the rhythm that works for you and him.) HTH :iagree: My boy is only 3, so I don't have any advice for you , just a :grouphug:. Hope it get's better for you soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulubelle Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 It is just plain old hard :group hug:. I also have an oldest ds that is hard to keep on track. It has gotten a little bit better - mostly because he is getting older and able to complete more. But, some days are still just a mess. Four years homeschooling for me and I don't see an easier road in sight. I am constantly tweaking our schedule. The day to day can be a constant struggle, but it is the years ahead and the progress I see over the long stretch that keep me going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 It is just plain old hard :group hug:. I also have an oldest ds that is hard to keep on track. It has gotten a little bit better - mostly because he is getting older and able to complete more. But, some days are still just a mess. Four years homeschooling for me and I don't see an easier road in sight. I am constantly tweaking our schedule. The day to day can be a constant struggle, but it is the years ahead and the progress I see over the long stretch that keep me going. :iagree::iagree: What she said. That's how it is for me too. Every stage has brought it's own challenges and I try to roll with it as best as I can. It's tiring to always feel like you're struggling uphill, but I think it ends sooner than we realize it will and in the end you will feel so good about all that you and your dc have accomplished. I'm nearing the end of my journey now with my dd. She's in High School and it hits me now just how close she is to adulthood. I remember all of the struggles and frustrations over the years with school and now when I look back I just can't believe the time has gone so quickly. Hang in there mama. It may feel like a long road ahead, but it goes by quicker than you can imagine! :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I have a crate for my 3yo, just like I do for my 6yo. I have things like workbooks, coloring books, a cutting book, lacing cards, lacing beads, file folder games, etc. Sometimes, he likes to join us at the table and do his school work while I am working with big sister. I also include my 3yo in some of our activities, like read-alouds, memorization, and phonogram games. Can you pair your youngest with one of the others while you work with the third and then switch? As for patience, I am really struggling with this right now, as well, so I sympathize. :grouphug: I saw this look today in my dd's eye that told me she was feeling pretty crappy about herself, and I know it is my fault. I have to make this my absolute most important issue. I wish I had some advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeallgoeswell Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 :grouphug: I think the ladies have summed it up: find a schedule that works for your family, cut back if you need to, small lessons, and, IMO most importantly, behavior training. Here is a good link to a free, short book: http://simplycharlottemason.com/books/smooth-easy-days-with-charlotte-mason/. I have always homeschooled my kids. I think a short attention span is applicable to all young kids and not just those with ADHD (I have taught PreK-5th grade at a co-op for two years). I have found if my kids eat too much sugar, don't get outside and play every day, and/or are sitting for more than their allotted time (15 mins. for my K or 45 for my 3rd grader), they cannot focus. I just get to a good stopping point and put it up for 15 minutes so they can play. I try to school one dd at a time so the other is free to play with my 2yo. Everyone gets a mandatory one hour "quiet time" for my sanity. I can see that it is getting better. My oldest has matured to the point that focus is becoming less of an issue because we work at it. Best of luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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