If you have a daughter, please help me understand this (warning: long/controversial)

[HeyRenee]

I have never noticed a blatant preference for boys. But I've never really paid attention. I find your post fascinating and I can completely see the logic of "knowing the pain"as daughter will face. I have 4 boys and one girl. She is smack in the middle; two big brothers and 2 younger brothers. I love her...but we are in the "tweens" and some of her "friends"??? Um, no thank you!!!! Catty, snotty, gossipy...heaven help me. Boys get mad at each other, maybe slap or hit, brothers may occasionally find themselves rolling in the front yard "fighting"....but ya know what? They may end up with a black eye...but that's the last you hear of it!!!! They seem to forgive and forget. Girls??? They remember what someone did 6 years ago! And they hold grudges, and they can be MEAN. I desperately wanted a daughter, a mini me, a partner in crime....and even though I wanted her to have a sister, man I'm glad she's my lone princess!!! Lol. I have a dear friend with 5 girls and we laugh all the time over the flying drama in her house and the fact that you can't walk through my house without ducking as a football flies by or stepping on Lego men. Of course, she always says she'd go crazy in my loud, rambunctious, sports arena and I'd be loony with all her drama! My point? God knows our personalities and I firmly believe we are blessed with what we can best handle. And my sweet daughter?? Tough as nails with her girly personality and a bow the size of Texas in her hair.....and without a doubt well protected!!! ;)

 

 

ETA: I am not speaking if all girls. I know not all girls are catty,mean, etc...I think y'all know the type I'm speaking of. Oh, and my boys don't really give each other black eyes...often. ;)

Edited January 7, 2012 by HeyRenee

[DianeW88]

I wanted some of each sex. Well, what I really wanted was boy, boy, girl, boy, girl. What I got was boy, girl, boy. Ended up being perfect.

 

I have honestly not noticed a preference for a certain sex in general, although when I have, it's been for a girl.

 

Having raised both, I feel that boys are MUCH easier and I would take 8 boys to 1 girl. Oh, the drama of a tween and young teen girl. :lol:

[LaxMom]

I had no opinion with the first, we were thrilled with a girl with #2, and completely confused with twin boys. So, ok, the biggest part of the confusion was that there were two of them (we're still not completely over that and they're 7) but the psychology behind that goes something like this (just in my mind, of course): the boys are non-standard. I am a girl. First child is a girl. Second child is a girl. These two are Not Girls. Their not-girl-ness messes with my head.

 

FWIW, I am the second girl in several geerations on my dad's side. He wanted a girl and was pretty darn ecstatic when I turned out to be one. :D I honestly can't think of a negative or even lukewarm response to our announcement of girls, either.

[Kari C in SC]

This is pretty much the opposite of what I have seen. Almost everyone I have known has really, really wanted a girl at some point.

 

For me, personally - this is how my family laid out.

 

When my dh and I chose to get pregnant when we were teenagers - I think we didn't give a whole lot of thought to whether it was a boy or a girl. At that time (1989) - it wasn't the norm yet to find out the gender. I didn't have an ultrasound and find out until I was 7 months pregnant. While I was happy we were having a boy - I would have been equally happy if we had been having a girl. It simply did not matter to me at that point or my dh.

 

When our 1st son was 6, we had an unplanned pregnancy. I will say I was hoping for a girl simply because we had a boy already. I had a miscarriage and was devastated. I spent the next several years wanting a baby more than anything. And, YES, more specifically a baby girl.

 

Finally, when school, work, real estate calmed down, we went forward to get pregnant again. I did the whole Shettles method to get a girl. When we went to have our 20 week ultrasound, they guessed she was a girl, but couldn't be sure. I cried and cried and cried. So, my dh paid to have another ultrasound done the next day. Still couldn't say for sure. I found out about a week before she was born that she was indeed a girl. Absolute JOY!!!! Still is!!!

 

Fast Forward 6 years - we planned one last pregnancy. Again, I was hoping for a girl. My dh and dd were too. My ds wanted a boy. Has the ultrasound - its a boy. DS thrilled, dd on the floor crying, me just saying whatever is fine with me. Deep down I wanted a girl. I was sure I did, but I knew I would love this baby no matter what. For a long while I still wanted that girl. He was born and life went on as normal. Then my oldest son passed away and it became really clear to me that I was so very thankful that my last child was a boy. My youngest will never, ever replace my oldest, but somehow it gives me comfort that I will again have a wonderful young man in my life. I miss that. I miss that great, fun, witty young man in my oldest son. Some day, my youngest will help to fill that void.

 

All that to say - we have a lot of young people having babies around us. Most of us are always pulling for them to be girls! All the cute dresses to buy and all!

[dragons in the flower bed]

For me it was a simple matter of with which gender I got along. My friends had always been boys. All my experience with children had been with boys. I would have been nervous about getting to know something different, I think.

[EmilyK]

I read somewhere that most educated Americans these days wanted girls. I'm trying to think what the news story was about -- adoption? things people do to influence gender when trying to conceive? I can't remember but it fit with what I had seen.

 

I love my boys and never wanted anything different, but most folks I know if they had a preference while expecting, it was for girls.

 

I think it would be different if the American in question was more culturally tied to the old country (whatever that was).

[Mynyel]

I can say I always wanted boys, but then again I came from a family with three sisters (4 of us girls) and no brothers. I just wanted a boy to shake it up a bit.

 

Second. After our first was a girl I didn't want more because I do not want to have to worry about girls and puberty any more. I didn't want to have to *talk* about body changes and the like. If I had boys then it was the hubs job :D Sounds petty but there it is.

 

Now that I have 1 girl and 2 boys I can say if (and it won't happen) I was to have another I would want a girl. :)

[2squared]

I wanted a girl and got one. :D

 

I wanted a girl again and got a boy. :ohmy: What would I do with this boy? Well, this first born boy has me wrapped around his little finger.

 

I wanted a girl again and got a boy.

 

I didn't care and got a girl.

 

I didn't want any more, but if I had to have another, I wanted a girl. It was a boy.

 

Honestly, it didn't matter one iota at birth which gender came out. For the one I find out ahead of time, it DID matter at the time of the ultrasound. I never found out another early.

 

I have always wanted my daughters to have sisters. I really, really wish I had a sister. But....my boys are showing me a world of love that I never could have imagined. I find being a mom to boys much easier than being a mom to girls.

 

I do think being a family of all girls or all boys would be really, really cool. :D

[mycalling]

DH wanted sons, he had two dds before our dc. Well, he married the right woman because we're expecting our 7th ds next month. Many men have made comments of envy to DH about his many sons.

 

We have only one dd together and I have wanted each of the dss after her to be another girl. I want her to have a sister to grow up with. Her older half-sister treats her horribly, which makes me feel worse that I haven't been able to make her a sister myself.

 

Once I'm fertile again, we are going to have DH's sperm dyed and sorted for a girl. 91% chance!