wagnfun Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I just wanted to tell y'all THANK YOU and update you on my situation. I honestly appreciate all the input and advice given, I was comforted to confirm my female mind was in check.:001_smile: As far as getting a birthday gift- yes he had organized a gathering in their office and each man in the office said they'd give -which totalled $125 ~ sidenote: office had never celebrated birthdays with more then a cake before. I, in the calmest way which honestly goes against my very nature , explained that the gift of that size was telling her everything to that point was not only ok, but that he was encouraging it being that he head up the $$ gathering. DH was very open and honest with me and acted shocked that I was even "going there". He is sarcastic and witty to everyone but I pointed out that only is ok until a situation like this comes along. After a long conversation he openly admitted that yes he could also see that the line was crossed A FEW TIMES. I pointed out to him how although he mentioned he didn't see the red flags, that yes indeed there were a few things that made him go "hummmm".... I think in the beginning, the girl was more teenage immature then anything- but the overfamiliarity was wrong and her crossing the lines became more personal and serious. Today- he gave back ALL the money and called off the gift. He told me he would ignore any future texts & re evaluate his joking with her. He was loving and sweet and I let him live. :lol: (yes that was a joke) Then knowing he was going on a golf trip with the guys for the following 4 days, we kinda hungout in a fun marriage fashion for a while. Today I bought new sexy pj's to show him when he gets home and mailed him a sweet card YES TO THE OFFICE that he will get next week. and thanks to the many of you that gave me sisterly advice. Although he is only in the office a few times a month, I"ll be getting his schedule and popping in for hugs & kisses more often. (haven't in the past b/c its an hr drive!!) If there are ANY more situations, I'll be climbing out of my homeschooling, I gave birth to his children, I've made his coffee for 16 years while listening to every man noise/idea he had, he is MINE tree and be calling her myself.:tongue_smilie: Thanks hive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura K (NC) Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 nt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 That's great! I am so happy for you.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Good job!!! And how could you possibly be married 16 years? How old are you anyway? You look mahvelous! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 Good job!!! And how could you possibly be married 16 years? How old are you anyway? You look mahvelous! :001_smile: Oh I LOVE YOU!!! I'm 37. We've been together 18 years, married 16. I'm one of those that gets asked all the time if my newly graduated 17 yr old and I are sisters. (naw, don't do the math) I don't feel like a teenage sister!!!:glare: but thanks anyway!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Oh I LOVE YOU!!! I'm 37. We've been together 18 years, married 16. I'm one of those that gets asked all the time if my newly graduated 17 yr old and I are sisters. (naw, don't do the math) I don't feel like a teenage sister!!!:glare: but thanks anyway!! Well that's an adorable picture of the two of you, and you could pass for sisters. But I know what you mean about not feeling like one...for sure. :D Congratulations to your new graduate!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenschooler Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 It's very fortunate that the two of you are talking about this. Keep that going. I imagine a lot of men wouldn't even mention something like this to their wives. I just learned of an situation today of someone very close to me that had eerily similar circumstances, and it didn't end with drawing boundary lines. Honestly, *I* suspected, just from phone conversations w/this person, as she would relate how her dh acted, where he went, etc. (but I'm suspicious of everything in general anyway, so I may not be a good indicator). Now she's got to face either putting her marriage back together or leaving it. Or something - right now she seems to be in an utter state of shock. I know I would be, too. It's just awful, and there are very young children involved. If anyone knows of any ways I can help her make sense of this, I'd appreciate it (my suggestions would only result in a prison sentence!) Don't get comfortable, and don't forget this happened. He needs to be able to fend this off himself in the future instead of encouraging it, and hopefully conversations between you two will be able to talk him through to a place where he can. It's awful to think how quickly things can cross the line. And please - go down there, dressed to the nines, and let that gal see that he is very much taken! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Woohoo! I am so happy for both of you. It took courage to confront the situation. I am proud of you for sticking to your guns. Way to go. Oh, and have fun next week with those pj's! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Good job!!! And how could you possibly be married 16 years? How old are you anyway? You look mahvelous! :001_smile: Go to her blog and look at her daughter's graduation pictures. I had to study it for a minute to be sure who was mother and who was daughter!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 IIf there are ANY more situations, I'll be climbing out of my homeschooling, I gave birth to his children, I've made his coffee for 16 years while listening to every man noise/idea he had, he is MINE tree and be calling her myself.:tongue_smilie: Thanks hive! !!! You go, girl! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmgconner Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I'm really glad he was open to your concerns and took action. What a guy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I'm glad to hear your conversation went well and that he is taking the appropriate steps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Good for you!! Too many times these things go left unchecked and *poof* "We didn't mean for it to happen". Marriage takes effort and it's soooo worth it. You are an inspiration! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 Go to her blog and look at her daughter's graduation pictures. I had to study it for a minute to be sure who was mother and who was daughter!! oh my goodness...:blush5::blushing:-- you guys are to kind. thank you. Dh and I have been through way to much. There was a time in our marriage that I thought we'd never be able to get past what we'd done to each other. I've always heard marriage was work and until I was in the situations myself, never realized what work ment. I'm ok with hard work, I"m a goal oriented person- but marriage work was an entirely different creature. Thanks for all your uplifting words and advice! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 You rock, girl! GO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Rock on, girlfriend!!!!! Have fun with your hubby and your new jammies;);) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 That's GREAT! I'm very impressed that he gave the money back and didn't go with that. To me that would've been TOTALLY wrong to get her something! I'm sure he'll LOVE the jammies! ;) And visiting him at his office looking like a million bucks won't hurt anything either! I'd also make sure his screensaver is back to you two, and that he has an 8x10 photo on his desk of you two as well!!! Wonderful news, I'm glad you let us know the outcome! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 :hurray: Good for you! Good for him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parabola Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I am so so happy for you!! You took steps, you were proactive, and so ADULT about it! :) Good for you. And good for him for stopping the card/gift thing, thats a pretty impressive gesture. I hope he can shake her off easily enough. You just keep doing what you started and be a presence at his work. I'm really happy for you guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 It's a great reminder to keep communicating in marriage. It's so hard some times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Very, very good!!! I'm so glad he was receptive to what you were saying. Also, I did go look at your blog pictures. You are GORGEOUS!!!! Holy cow! What skin care products do you use? Your skin is looks flawless!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 Very, very good!!! I'm so glad he was receptive to what you were saying. Also, I did go look at your blog pictures. You are GORGEOUS!!!! Holy cow! What skin care products do you use? Your skin is looks flawless!! :blushing:.... man, i think i'm going to print up these past few days responses and just read them every time I'm having a bad day! The support and hugs from everyone on this board is amazing! I can say skin care wise, the biggest thing is water water and water. I can REALLY tell when I"m not drinking enough! Dont' let that fool ya though, I also splurge on make up (pretty much my only vice). I wear MAC ~ Thanks for the sweet replys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 It sounds like you and your dh have a great relationship :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Oh, no, even better - an 8 x 10 taken from one of those places they have at malls that make you look all sexy, LOL, his own personal pin-up for all the other guys to be jealous of..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted June 7, 2008 Author Share Posted June 7, 2008 It sounds like you and your dh have a great relationship :001_smile: Yes we do now. Didn't always. We went through a HUGE rough patch (he fought depression & substance issues) Luckily his brain engaged a short while ago and now he's perfect.:hurray: haha.. kidding - kind-of. :001_tt2: BTW>. I just discovered the new smilies and I LOVE THEM! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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