Adjusting my expectations about dd

[Mergath]

This is half vent, half plea for advice, half ramble. Too many halves, I know. :tongue_smilie:

 

I bought AAR pre-1 for dd a couple months ago. At the time, she knew all of her uppercase letters, around half of the lowercase, and a smattering of letter sounds, so I thought it would be a good way to cement things she already knew and teach her the rest.

 

Now, she's already starting to sound out simple words. She knows all of the letters and their sounds, basically rendering the program I spent a hundred bucks on useless. :cursing: So, you know, if anyone's looking to purchase AAR level pre-1... lol.

 

How do you buy curriculum when you don't know where your kid is going to be two months later? I tried to start 100 EZ Lessons with her, but it bored her senseless and she pretty much growled at me when I asked her if she wanted to do it, so now I just help her sound out words if she asks. She had no problem doing the lessons- I think it was the mind-numbing repetition that got to her.

 

Also, this is my child with a rarish genetic disorder whom the doctors told us would probably be mentally retarded. So I am just all kinds of baffled about how to proceed now. I spent over a year sad and worried about her future, and now she's exactly three and a half today and is starting to read. She asks questions about things that I have to google to find the answer to. She knows more human anatomy than I did in high school. She can find countries on a world map that I didn't even know existed until now. As soon as I get my brain wrapped around one thing, I have to figure out how to deal with something totally different.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining by any means that she's drastically ahead of where we were told to expect, but at this point I have no idea how to proceed. I keep worrying she's going to taper off with her intellectual development and end up severely delayed after all. It's like I'm afraid to teach her at her level because I don't want to jinx things, if that makes sense, so I just keep muddling along.

 

All right, vent over. Thanks for listening. :001_smile:

[musicianmom]

As far as reading goes, I'm liking The Reading Lesson for my almost-4-year-old. More little kid friendly than 100 EZ lessons, cute pics and not so repetitive. I also think All About Learning Press has a pretty generous return policy, it might not be too late.

 

As far as your other question goes, I don't really have an answer. I'm in the midst of adjusting expectations for both my girls. I've just found out that dd6, who was such a precocious little one that I had labeled her as HG or PG in my mind, is actually only on the very edge between normal and gifted. On the other hand, dd3, who was a late talker, late potty-trainer, wouldn't give up her crib, etc, is suddenly demanding reading lessons, sailing through MEP Reception, and sits for hours teaching herself to write the alphabet with a focus that doesn't seem possible for a child her age.

 

Maybe the answer is to assume nothing? I don't think much about my son's intellectual potential. He's kid #3,I figure I'll just do whatever he needs whenever he needs it.

[SonshineLearner]

Wow, well, I have to say I'm excited for you! :) Your little peanut sounds like she's gonna keep you on your toes in a good way! :) Enjoy... sorry I don't have a lot of recommendations....

[lewelma]

How do you buy curriculum when you don't know where your kid is going to be two months later?

 

You need to buy curriculum that have many years (like all of primary school) in a single book for $100, and then you go at the pace of your child. Examples that I know of:

 

Spelling: Spelling Power and Spelling to Write and Read (SWR)

Writing: IEW, Classical Writing Homer (only for 2 years but would take quite some time to get through even for a fast learner.)

Reading: The library and a good book list

 

These are excellent complete elementary and middle school programs and are free.

Math: MEP http://www.cimt.plymouth.ac.uk/projects/mepres/primary/default.htm

Grammar: KISS http://home.pct.edu/~evavra/KISS.htm

Science: MSNucleus http://www.msnucleus.org/

 

For the content areas (History and Science) I used the library all through elementary school, and then switched to high school texts.

 

Good Luck,

 

Ruth in NZ

[The Governess]

My young reader did well with Hooked on Phonics. You can get the whole set including all the readers pretty cheap on EBay. There aren't really any "lessons" to hold a student back, they just start reading. The program is K-2. Dd7 started reading soon after her 3rd b-day and we finished the whole program before she turned 4. I think it's a great choice for a kid who seems to be picking things up naturally. You can go back and teach the "why" behind the phonics later through spelling instead of boring her with it now. :)

[Donna]

I second the recommendation to buy things that span a number of years..and have used the ones she recommended. I tend to use materials that aren't graded and put together my own program for dd. I wasted a lot of money in those early years on curriculum trying to stay ahead of her and figure out a good pace.

 

So wonderful to hear your dd is exceeding MDs predictions. I have met a number of kids through my work who have done so and they are amazing!

[StartingOver]

My young readers use Ordinary Parents Guide to Reading ( very boring, and the print is close together, I finally purchased it on the Kindle too so I can change font and now she is reading on there straight from the book ), but they never see the book. I use the white board, blocks, chalks on the black board, magnets, & Etc. My daughter memorizes books as she reads them, so we have HOP books, Bob books, McGuffey Eclectic Reader ( free pdf ) and I See Sam books ( free pdf ). I am constantly downloading more on my kindle for her. I have way to many beginning readers already. She takes giant leaps in reading too, much faster than her brother did. It is tough, but exciting to watch her. ;-)

 

Emma is 3 reading at a 1st grade level, and Quince is 5 reading at a 4th grade level. I keep several levels of our curriculum on hand, and if the get ahead of what we are doing we do a fast review and move on. I see no reason to hold them back. Luckily I have been pretty on target in purchasing and we haven't wasted much since I have two to work with. ;-)

Edited November 30, 2011 by StartingOver

[acurtis75]

I don't have a perfect answer because I'm still finding myself spending more than I want because we finish stuff too quickly but here's what I did. When dd was at about the same spot you are in I used ETC because it was cheap and we could just get the next book as soon as a book was completed. I know a lot of people use ETC as a supplement but I found that because dd learned quickly I didn't need anything else. We did the lessons in ETC and then just read a lot of books. DD was reading chapter books around her 4th birthday. Sometimes fast learners don't need all the bells and whistles that some of the more expensive programs include. Reading was actually the easiest thing for me to adjust. Spelling, Grammar and other subjects have been more difficult. I've skipped levels several times and I'm still not sure that we're exactly where we should be but I've decided to just complete what we have and reassess when we're done. We use MUS for math and I love the program but it's pricey for us because we've done Beta, Gamma & are 6 lessons from completing Delta in the last year. I make myself feel better about the money spent by passing the materials on to my sil when we're done.

[MissKNG]

I keep several levels of our curriculum on hand,

 

This is what I do too.

[8filltheheart]

I would recommend researching products thoroughly before purchase and become discerning about whose reviews you are willing to accept. There are only a handful of posters on the entire forum that I trust "point blank." If they give me the advice to use a certain product, I can pretty much be ascertained that it will meet not only my needs but my philosophical approach to education and my children. There are a few others that I listen to recommendations and then spend a significant amt of time digging around and researching as much as I can.

 

FWIW, I personally would never recommend anything to do w/AAS products for learning how to read. It is incredibly slow-paced and remedial at its absolute best. I think it is over-inflated in price and a poor imitation of really quality OG products at its worst. (ETA: and this ties in w/how I read recommendations......I look for posters who have taught what I am looking for multiple times to multiple children w/great success and are familiar w/many products that are both equivalent to the one I am considering or may be completely different in approach. So, I would never look at moms that are new users of products that are posting in "curriculum euphoria." I want reviews from those that have been through the trenches, been face flat in the muck, and have come out on the other side to give realistic assessments. :tongue_smilie:

 

But $$ spent aside, what a joyous problem to face!!:hurray:

Edited November 30, 2011 by 8FillTheHeart

[zaichiki]

You need to buy curriculum that have many years (like all of primary school) in a single book for $100, and then you go at the pace of your child.

 

Or

1. Buy everything used.
   
2. Have lots of kids so everything gets handed-down and you feel like you're really getting your money's worth
   
3. If all else fails, buy whatever you need when you need it and sell it when you're done with it to recoup some of your money.
   

[LittleIzumi]

:grouphug: I know the feeling. The Drama was in Early Intervention for a year and a half, wasn't communicating at all for nearly 2 years, didn't pick up a single letter sound in all that time, etc--and then she picked up every letter sound in two weeks, started reading at 3, etc.

 

My personal method of madness is to buy ALL THE THINGS. :lol: (Used when possible.) Well, almost. My kids are so different and change so much that I have a ton of different curricula here, and with multiple levels like the PPs mentioned, so that when I need it, it's here. I went from my all Singapore plan that was great for a while and then stopped working (where I have from K-2nd) to Miquon (Orange and Red, need to buy the next book soon) with the Singapore IP and is now perfect, where I can go much higher up in her interest areas and slower in her hard areas. The Drama switched from Singapore to MEP, which is perfect for her and I can just skip what I need to and print out anything from the entire 7 years. We have multiple levels of AAS. I have multiple levels of ETC. And so on and so forth.

[boscopup]

My first question would be: Is SHE wanting to be taught to read? Or would she rather teach herself? If she would rather teach herself, let her! My oldest resisted anything resembling me trying to teach him to read, and then one day he took off on his own and never looked back. It was when I stopped trying to teach him that he took off. At age 3, I don't worry about trying to teach them to read, but if they WANT to read, I let them. I also provide them with starfall.com and Leapfrog videos.

 

You don't need a $100 curriculum for a 3 year old. Period. You just don't. Save your money. You'll need it when she's school age. ;)

 

As far as reading instruction goes... I really, really, really like Webster's Speller, which is free. :) I love that it teaches open and closed syllables at the same time, so you can easily teach those pesky "sight words" in a phonetic way. For example, my DS2 had no problem learning "I', "he", "she", "it", "a", "an", "and". Those are all very easily phonetic if you know open and closed syllables. After doing plenty of "BA BE BI BO BU" and "AB EB IB OB UB", those words were easy. I just had to teach the /th/ and /sh/ phonograms. That's it! I've also recently started using the I See Sam readers (first 52 are available free online). My son LOVES them. I was surprised, because the first few books have all of 3 or 4 words in them, which drove me nuts, but he learned those words reading them over and over again (sounding them out ;) ), and he loved the pictures and the story line.

 

I do agree with choosing curriculum wisely for an accelerated learner. When I was choosing math for DS1, I knew he would go quickly at first as we caught up to where he really was, so I chose Math Mammoth because I could get all of grades 1-6 for $65 at HSBC. It's a good curriculum, and it was easy to accelerate. I switched this month to Singapore now that we've slowed down some (currently working 2 grades ahead), but I'm soooooo glad I used MM for the last year, as we needed 4 grades' worth! That would have been $480 if I'd been using Singapore that whole time. I don't mind $480 for math spread out over 3-4 years or 1 year of high school, but just one year of early elementary? Nope.

 

For other subjects, I've often just had to start at a higher grade. Grammar, for example, was too easy in the 1st and 2nd grade levels, so we had to skip over to 3rd grade level where the fun stuff starts (diagramming and what not). History and science are easier to beef up via the library. Literature, you just choose the current reading level (or at my son's point, I've stopped worrying about reading level, and just choose good books I think he should read, whether they're at his reading level or below).

 

I will say congratulations on your new reader! Love it when kids go beyond what the doctors thought they could do! :party:

[Mergath]

Or

1. Buy everything used.
   
2. Have lots of kids so everything gets handed-down and you feel like you're really getting your money's worth
   
3. If all else fails, buy whatever you need when you need it and sell it when you're done with it to recoup some of your money.
   

 

Hey, that's a good idea. I've been trying to convince dh that we should have at least one more kid. I'm going to tell him we need more so we can get our money's worth out of expensive curricula. :D He he. He's gotten very frugal, maybe this will make him see the light.

[Mergath]

:grouphug: I know the feeling. The Drama was in Early Intervention for a year and a half, wasn't communicating at all for nearly 2 years, didn't pick up a single letter sound in all that time, etc--and then she picked up every letter sound in two weeks, started reading at 3, etc.

 

My personal method of madness is to buy ALL THE THINGS. :lol:

 

I think that's what I've been trying to do, too. :D I've got the AAR program, all the volumes of FIAR, and I just picked up pre-k through first grade of the Core Knowledge books. If I buy enough stuff, there's bound to be at least one or two things that will work... Right? :tongue_smilie:

[Mergath]

My first question would be: Is SHE wanting to be taught to read? Or would she rather teach herself? If she would rather teach herself, let her! My oldest resisted anything resembling me trying to teach him to read, and then one day he took off on his own and never looked back. It was when I stopped trying to teach him that he took off. At age 3, I don't worry about trying to teach them to read, but if they WANT to read, I let them. I also provide them with starfall.com and Leapfrog videos.

 

 

She definitely wants to read, but I don't know if she wants to be taught, if that makes sense. She'll sit and try to sound things out for an hour, but if I offer to help her, she gets really mad, lol. And some days she absolutely loves doing phonics-type worksheets- we have ETC books A, B, and C- and other days she glares at me if I even suggest it. She's constantly asking me what different words say, but if I do more than just say the word, I get the glower.

 

Part of me wants to step back, but another part of me is worried about missing some kind of developmental window or something. Stupid, I know, but this is my only child, so I'm just sort of winging it here. :tongue_smilie: But then, according to my mom, I taught myself to read between three and four with no help from her. So maybe it's a family thing, and I shouldn't interfere.

 

Or maybe I'm going to go insane from overthinking everything and will be utterly nuts before dd even starts K, rendering all of this moot. :D

[Mergath]

Just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice, everyone! I feel much better now. And I now have many more things to go out and research. Though that will definitely be the last time I spend a hundred bucks on one thing, let me tell you. :tongue_smilie:

[adrielle.martin]

You can not have a universally accepted kind of of expectation from you wards. You must remember that every child is special and its that one particular skill which he/she is unique and excel from everyone. You must explore the opportunities that your ward can take and then may be you will realize your ward.

[boscopup]

She definitely wants to read, but I don't know if she wants to be taught, if that makes sense. She'll sit and try to sound things out for an hour, but if I offer to help her, she gets really mad, lol. And some days she absolutely loves doing phonics-type worksheets- we have ETC books A, B, and C- and other days she glares at me if I even suggest it. She's constantly asking me what different words say, but if I do more than just say the word, I get the glower.

 

 

Yep, that sounds like a kid that wants to teach herself. LET HER. Much cheaper than AAR! :lol:

 

You can fill in phonics instruction when she's K age via spelling. It's not a big deal. Just continue to answer her questions.

 

And while my oldest majorly resisted being taught at age 3 or 4, he is a dream to teach now, so don't worry. It's just very normal for preschoolers to not be ready for formal school, and that's what you're seeing. You would be surprised at how much they can learn on their own. When DS1 went to K, he was already reading at grade level 2.5, and I hadn't taught him anything formal. I just answered his questions and let him play starfall.com. I found that he learned more in the preK years if I backed off and let him explore.

[lewelma]

She definitely wants to read, but I don't know if she wants to be taught

 

I had a young child who wanted to be taught, but after his early curiosity was satiated in about a month, he was not interested at all. He became interested again 2 years later at age 5.

 

So don't expect a linear progression in all young children, there can definitely fits and starts. For my son, by 6 he was reading the Hobbit, so I don't think there is some great hurry or the perfect window of opportunity.

 

Ruth in NZ

[imagine.more]

We have had the same "problem" (good problem) too, my ODS is always skipping ahead and it's very difficult to predict where he'll be from one month to the next.

 

So, first I'm ignoring grades and looking at things as being a level instead. He'll start Level 1 of Miquon Math this winter after our move, he'll also start Level 1 of Handwriting Without Tears. Meantime we are working through ordinary parents guide to teaching reading and he loves them. Yes some are review but if he gives me the "duh, that was easy" look we do a second lesson. They take 5-10 minutes total so it's really easy and I feel strongly about him having a good solid phonics base and not just sight reading everything. Then he reads books every day, I just keep a ton lying around that are easy, on level, and difficult for him. It means I'm constantly buying books or checking them out from the library but I've often been surprised to see him pick up what I considered a "hard" book and just read it through.

 

And ITA with 8FillTheHeart about taking note of who gives curriculum recommendations that fit your situation. If you know your DD is advanced definitely check here for recommendations. For me I always check out recommendations from here and recommendations from larger families since we'll likely have more kids someday. Some curriculums are great for only children but unrealistic for the 4th of 7 children, and vice versa. I also look at the Well Trained Mind recommendations for each subject and I choose the most demanding of each one for T-rex because I know now that he's advanced. In the book they say that 100 Easy Lessons is more remedial, so I went with OPGTR and have not regretted it. That's part of what I like in WTM, they almost always recommend a rigorous and less rigorous curriculum option for each subject.

[acurtis75]

She definitely wants to read, but I don't know if she wants to be taught, if that makes sense. She'll sit and try to sound things out for an hour, but if I offer to help her, she gets really mad, lol. And some days she absolutely loves doing phonics-type worksheets- we have ETC books A, B, and C- and other days she glares at me if I even suggest it. She's constantly asking me what different words say, but if I do more than just say the word, I get the glower.

 

Part of me wants to step back, but another part of me is worried about missing some kind of developmental window or something. Stupid, I know, but this is my only child, so I'm just sort of winging it here. :tongue_smilie: But then, according to my mom, I taught myself to read between three and four with no help from her. So maybe it's a family thing, and I shouldn't interfere.

 

Or maybe I'm going to go insane from overthinking everything and will be utterly nuts before dd even starts K, rendering all of this moot. :D

 

You're definately over-thinking but I can't condemn you because I spend way too much time doing the same thing. Every once in a while dh has to give me a little perspective. He'll listen to my incessant questioning and curriculum issues and then say something like, "you know she's only 6 right?". This generally snaps me back in to reality.

 

If your daughter knows her letters you might just skip the a, b & c books and go to book 1. The before the code books are probably too easy for her and moving on the book 1 might satisfy her desire to learn words faster and she won't be missing anything.

[catz]

I definitely over thought at this age, but I never spent a penny on curriculum. We just used books we had around the house and the library. We had letter magnets and magnetic poetry words we'd play around with. We had a giant alphabet foam puzzle you could reconfigure into words. I let them do things like starfall for 10 or 15 minutes a day. Kids that are ready to learn to read, leap to it easily. I couldn't "force" anything that looked like school at this age so I didn't. We just read good books and played.

 

I did have HOP for my younger because she homeschooled from the beginning. But really there was nothing magical about it other that it gave me nicely ordered and leveled books to hand to her. You could do the same from the early readers at the library. It works well for a kid that's just ready to take off and doesn't need much repetition.

 

Even now, I only buy graded curriculum I absolutely need because often the level is too low, the output is too high, and it's mind numbingly slow and tedious for my kids. I tend to use "real" books and more open ended curriculum.