Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 She said she couldn't let anymore time to by without contacting me because she didn't want to leave me hanging. She is shocked and horrified that all this took place and she had no idea it was going on. She said she cried through my whole letter. She was very glad that I put it all down in writing, and she's highlighted many areas where new procedures need to take place and where change needs to occur. She is sorry that my dd is the one who had to suffer in order for this to happen. Because the two coaches who treated dd badly are volunteers, and because this is the first time she's encountering this situation with them (I'm certain there was another issue last year but know NONE of the details) the most she is going to be able to do at this time is give them a written warning. I wanted this woman to clearly understand that even if dd's health returned 100% she would NOT be allowed to return to swim. I let her know that the bullying was bad enough, but these coaches endangered dd's life. Supervisor fully agreed. She told me that she knows someone with dd's condition and that it will be tough as she starts her periods and goes through growth spurts, but that once that part of her life is over, she can return to swim. She wanted to encourage dd not to give up her passion for it, to cling to the hope that she can return. I did get emotional at one point, oh well. I really didn't want to.... In closing she said that bullying was a pretty strong word and that IF it happened....... and that's when I cut her off. I let her know that there is no IF about it, it DID happen. Period. She commented on how the coach is always so sweet and soft spoken. I let her know that I witnessed her yelling at kids on many occasions through the years, and I let her know that another team mate is the one who was disturbed at how my dd was treated, that it was obvious she was treated differently. I guess the supervisor will be meeting with the coaches individually and also will be meeting with the kids. I don't know if she's going to be meeting with all of the kids or just the brat who bullied my kids, but I truly hope and pray other kids will come forward about what they saw. I know it will put them in a very difficult position but PLEASE I pray that they will speak the truth and this supervisor will walk away knowing for sure that our accounting of the story is true and accurate. I'm skeptical of everything, including the call. I feel like I can't trust anyone. Oh well. At least I got our side of the story out. Now on to better and happier things. We're getting a puppy. :svengo: WHAT is wrong with me??!!!!!;) We were going to get it in the spring but I feel now is THE best time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatA Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Well it sounds promising, even with the dancing around the issue. At least you got it out into the open and did what you could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 We got our puppy in the winter...we were home a lot, so we were able to train him pretty quickly...plus we got to really focus on our puppy. My kids also stopped swimming because of toxic coaching...and toxic bullying....I feel your pain....my son had Lyme disease..and is still suffering from post Lyme. Some days are pretty bad for him....his coach was downright snotty about him being sick...and punished him for not working as hard as he did before.... Dd was traumatized by his treatment of her brother...and also by bullying from the other girls. We pulled them off team. Ds is not ready to go back on another team... Dd joined a drama/theater group and is much happier. She is even considering swimming on another team. We will see.... Blessings on your new puppy...and new things to come. God has a plan...now to figure it out. :D Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 This is so timely for me. For the first time I experienced an adult attempting to bully my dd last week. The "administration" was unsupportive, and I decided it was time to move on. It's an excellent activity, with wonderful people, but all it takes is one small dog turd in a stock pot full of delicious chili to make the whole dish inedible (how klassy is that analogy?!). You did a great job, Denise! Thanks for being a good example for us all. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 We got our puppy in the winter...we were home a lot, so we were able to train him pretty quickly...plus we got to really focus on our puppy. My kids also stopped swimming because of toxic coaching...and toxic bullying....I feel your pain....my son had Lyme disease..and is still suffering from post Lyme. Some days are pretty bad for him....his coach was downright snotty about him being sick...and punished him for not working as hard as he did before.... Dd was traumatized by his treatment of her brother...and also by bullying from the other girls. We pulled them off team. Ds is not ready to go back on another team... Dd joined a drama/theater group and is much happier. She is even considering swimming on another team. We will see.... Blessings on your new puppy...and new things to come. God has a plan...now to figure it out. :D Faithe Hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm. A good friend of mine is practically begging me to get dd tested for lymes. It can cause her condition! I need to add this to the list. I'm really sorry your kids, and you, also experienced this. Glad your dd is happier! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm glad someone is listening to you. But I'm confused about the reason she can't just remove them from their positions. Why does it matter that they are volunteers? They were endangering a child's life on more than one occasion, not adequately supervising children, etc. They need to go. If I signed my child up to be on their team, then found out about what had happened to your dd, I'd be irate that these women were still allowed to have their positions. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm glad that you had the talk and that you stood up for the truth. You've done your part in letting the issues be known and in protecting your dd. You have no control in what they do with the information. :grouphug: Enjoy your puppy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Glad you got a call and it sounds like some of what you said was heard. Way to go standing up to the if she was bullied! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm. A good friend of mine is practically begging me to get dd tested for lymes. It can cause her condition! I need to add this to the list. I'm really sorry your kids, and you, also experienced this. Glad your dd is happier! Please.... If there is any chance of Lyme...please get her tested sooner rather than later. And make sure they do a western blot and test for co-infection as well. Ask for a copy of the results. Many times a doctor will call negative a Lyme exposure or certain bands or not enough bands negative...when in fact they are positive. Look at the labs yourself...then look up online which bands are which. Unfortunately, most regular medical people are Lyme ignorant. Good luck, Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Good for you for not letting her not call it bullying. I hope positive changes will come out of the discussion. Is there a lack of coaches in the field? Difficult to find another qualified volunteer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Whew. Glad it is working out, and so sorry it ended up this way. :grouphug: Annnd now the question I really want to ask-- What kind of puppy? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 This is so timely for me. For the first time I experienced an adult attempting to bully my dd last week. The "administration" was unsupportive, and I decided it was time to move on. It's an excellent activity, with wonderful people, but all it takes is one small dog turd in a stock pot full of delicious chili to make the whole dish inedible (how klassy is that analogy?!). You did a great job, Denise! Thanks for being a good example for us all. :grouphug: :lol::lol::lol:this made dh and I lol!!!!!!!!!!!!! We just got back from doing barn chores. The conversation? "Squirt! Do you want a dog turd in your food bowl?" "Mom, should I put a turd in Spot's food bowl?" :lol::lol::lol: I'm really sorry for your dd. I don't understand why people work with kids if they don't like them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm glad someone is listening to you. But I'm confused about the reason she can't just remove them from their positions. Why does it matter that they are volunteers? They were endangering a child's life on more than one occasion, not adequately supervising children, etc. They need to go. If I signed my child up to be on their team, then found out about what had happened to your dd, I'd be irate that these women were still allowed to have their positions. Wendi I think because this is the first time she's had to speak to them they will only get a written warning. I know she was involved at some level last year as well, but the woman who had issues with the coaches is a known pot stirrer and causes trouble all the time. Maybe she didn't count? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Please.... If there is any chance of Lyme...please get her tested sooner rather than later. And make sure they do a western blot and test for co-infection as well. Ask for a copy of the results. Many times a doctor will call negative a Lyme exposure or certain bands or not enough bands negative...when in fact they are positive. Look at the labs yourself...then look up online which bands are which. Unfortunately, most regular medical people are Lyme ignorant. Good luck, Faithe thank you for posting this. I will get the name of the dr in NH that specializes in Lyme's treatment. I hope your son fully recovers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Good for you for not letting her not call it bullying. I hope positive changes will come out of the discussion. Is there a lack of coaches in the field? Difficult to find another qualified volunteer? I don't really know if there is a lack of coaches, but another thing that came out is that they're going to try to define procedures for people who coach when they also have a kid on the team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Whew. Glad it is working out, and so sorry it ended up this way. :grouphug: Annnd now the question I really want to ask-- What kind of puppy? :D Blackmouth Cur. I think I have completely gone insane. He's one of the three males in these pics: http://www.gundogbreeders.com/classifieds/21183.html :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Cool! Never heard of that breed. Darling little sweeties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 (snip) In closing she said that bullying was a pretty strong word and that IF it happened....... and that's when I cut her off. I let her know that there is no IF about it, it DID happen. Period. She commented on how the coach is always so sweet and soft spoken. I let her know that I witnessed her yelling at kids on many occasions through the years, and I let her know that another team mate is the one who was disturbed at how my dd was treated, that it was obvious she was treated differently. (snip). :grouphug: No, if, and's, or buts, there was bullying. by adults. the fact she only yelled when she thought only children were present shows she knew she was out of line. I think the supervisor needs to go watch the devil wears prada. (dh knew execs like that). Miranda preistly never raised her voice, was always soft spoken, and people cowered in terror before her. granted it was script, but it's not unprecedented either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 :grouphug: A puppy sounds like the perfect distraction for all that has been going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Did someone say puppy?! This calls for a name thread! PS. Yeah, you! I doubt you will regret having this off your plate, and I doubt your girlie will regret her increased time at home chillin' with her family peeps. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Did someone say puppy?! This calls for a name thread! PS. Yeah, you! I doubt you will regret having this off your plate, and I doubt your girlie will regret her increased time at home chillin' with her family peeps. :grouphug: :lol::lol::lol: no name thread. ;) We've named him Bosco, although I *really* love the name Diesel. (thanks to Nakia!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 :lol::lol::lol: no name thread. ;) We've named him Bosco, although I *really* love the name Diesel. (thanks to Nakia!) I am thrilled that you're done with all that insanity! :grouphug: Awesome. So. I am trying not to pout about the no name thread thang. :tongue_smilie::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoGal Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm so so glad the supervisor "got it." That is wonderful. Maybe you should mention that you would love to be informed when the coaches are replaced so you can come back then. ;) Hee hee. We got our dogs when I was having a big stressful dispute with another small business over a trademark issue. It was a very nice distraction! :D Hope you find some answers about your dd's health soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm so so glad the supervisor "got it." That is wonderful. Maybe you should mention that you would love to be informed when the coaches are replaced so you can come back then. ;) Hee hee. We got our dogs when I was having a big stressful dispute with another small business over a trademark issue. It was a very nice distraction! :D Hope you find some answers about your dd's health soon. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I had thought if that when she was on the phone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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