Caraway Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 My MIL is giving me the silent treatment regarding the upcoming Christmas holidays. Apparently she is so committed to this "punishment" that not even the combination of a manhunt (practically in her backyard) and our ten year wedding anniversary could bring her to speak to us. :glare: This would be why my husband calls *my* parents "the easy ones". :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 My MIL is giving me the silent treatment regarding the upcoming Christmas holidays. Apparently she is so committed to this "punishment" that not even the combination of a manhunt (practically in her backyard) and our ten year wedding anniversary could bring her to speak to us. :glare: This would be why my husband calls *my* parents "the easy ones". :lol: What did you do?:toetap05: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 If she feels so strongly about punishing people for (presumably) not getting her way or for disagreeing with someone, then I think I would rather have a silent treatment over a very loud treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Photo Ninja Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It sounds like while she means it to be a punishment for you, it is actually a reward. Enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It sounds like while she means it to be a punishment for you, it is actually a reward. Enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts. :iagree: Silver lining? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hm... I wish my MIL would punish me with silence. I truly think she's physically incapable of keeping her thoughts and criticisms to herself.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatusduo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Sorry to hear you are receiving the "treatment". Just the other day we got a comment concerning Thanksgiving from my fil. I said to my dh, "tis the season" The IL's and the holidays are a bad combination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caraway Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 What did you do?:toetap05: Every year we travel to MIL's house for Christmas Eve (when they have a big party) and then that night to my parents' for Christmas. MIL is constantly mad that we are not with her "ON THE DAY", I am annoyed that we are traveling, husband is annoyed at MIL. So this year we decided that we were going to do Christmas at our cabin, and whoever wanted to come could come. And I said (since I am the one who does EVERYTHING in our family for the holidays) that with a new baby and a husband working constantly, I wasn't doing gifts. I said that I would give a gift basket to each family and that was it. I left it open enough that they could have objected and changed my mind, but I've decided to take MIL's lack of response as acceptance. :D Sorry to hear you are receiving the "treatment". Just the other day we got a comment concerning Thanksgiving from my fil. I said to my dh, "tis the season" The IL's and the holidays are a bad combination. Since we always spend Thanksgiving with MIL, I figure I am off the hook for that one too! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Every year we travel to MIL's house for Christmas Eve (when they have a big party) and then that night to my parents' for Christmas. MIL is constantly mad that we are not with her "ON THE DAY", I am annoyed that we are traveling, husband is annoyed at MIL. So this year we decided that we were going to do Christmas at our cabin, and whoever wanted to come could come. And I said (since I am the one who does EVERYTHING in our family for the holidays) that with a new baby and a husband working constantly, I wasn't doing gifts. I said that I would give a gift basket to each family and that was it. I left it open enough that they could have objected and changed my mind, but I've decided to take MIL's lack of response as acceptance. :D Since we always spend Thanksgiving with MIL, I figure I am off the hook for that one too! :lol: Stand your ground. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Stand your ground. :iagree: The year DD was born, my stepmom told me that we weren't expected to make the hour-long trek to their house on Christmas day, as I'd done all of my life. She said, "Stay home. You have small kids. Let them enjoy their Christmas magic at home. People who want to can come to your house on Christmas day if you want them to. Otherwise, the people who want to celebrate with you will have to work with you to choose a different day to celebrate." Best holiday advice EVER. I grew up with divorced parents and grandparents who expected everyone at their house on Christmas day. I mean 27 people sitting around a Christmas tree, most of them children, is NOT a recipe for a relaxed holiday. My childhood Christmas memories are overwhelmingly of many stressed-out adults at my grandmother's house. Someone (usually my brother) always broke or seriously damaged something (or someone), and then I remember my dad unfailingly coming to pick me up in the afternoons. I will not put my kids through that brand of holiday stress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Every year we travel to MIL's house for Christmas Eve (when they have a big party) and then that night to my parents' for Christmas. MIL is constantly mad that we are not with her "ON THE DAY", I am annoyed that we are traveling, husband is annoyed at MIL. So this year we decided that we were going to do Christmas at our cabin, and whoever wanted to come could come. And I said (since I am the one who does EVERYTHING in our family for the holidays) that with a new baby and a husband working constantly, I wasn't doing gifts. I said that I would give a gift basket to each family and that was it. I left it open enough that they could have objected and changed my mind, but I've decided to take MIL's lack of response as acceptance. :D Since we always spend Thanksgiving with MIL, I figure I am off the hook for that one too! :lol: Does your mil want you there for both Christmas Eve party and for Christmas Day? I can honestly see someone wanting to be together on Christmas Day once in a while, but if she wants the whole holiday (Christmas Eve plus Christmas Day), then that is unreasonable. (I am not a big "on the day" person, but know some who are.) I think your current plan of the cabin sounds like a good one. Can your cabin accommodate both sets of parents if they decide to come? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 My MIL is giving me the silent treatment regarding the upcoming Christmas holidays. Apparently she is so committed to this "punishment" that not even the combination of a manhunt (practically in her backyard) and our ten year wedding anniversary could bring her to speak to us. :glare: This would be why my husband calls *my* parents "the easy ones". :lol: well, I guess you don't have to worry about getting the wrong thing. buy her a gift basket or box of chocolate and be done. she's not giving any input. you don't have to figure out if she'll be at your house or someone else's, since she won't talk to you. enjoy it while it lasts. iow- stop trying to force her to talk to you. drop her a "thinking of you" note periodically, then forget it. make her childish tantrum her problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Every year we travel to MIL's house for Christmas Eve (when they have a big party) and then that night to my parents' for Christmas. MIL is constantly mad that we are not with her "ON THE DAY", Since we always spend Thanksgiving with MIL, I figure I am off the hook for that one too! :lol: ah, my grandmother thought we should spend every holiday with her. didn't endear her any. I think the cabin idea sounds great. It's what my sister initially came up with to avoid christmas with our grandmother. It became a very looked-forward to christmas trip for her family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 :lurk5: I wish my MIL would give us the silent treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 MIL has told ppl we're going to her place this year. In another province. With a newborn. :glare: Not happening. Enjoy the quiet while it lasts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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