"I have a hard time being able to focus and my mind tries to daydream a lot..."

[plain jane]

What what you think/do if your child told you this?

 

My 9yo said this yesterday. I'm not sure how much of it she came up with on her own or if she's been hearing dh and I talking. I've posted many times here (you can search on my name) about her difficulties with math & following directions. I'm wondering if it's all related and possibly ADHD?

 

Is that what you would think- ADHD? I've been reading about the other signs and symptoms but she doesn't fit any of them other than the inattentive part.

 

She's not easily distractible (more so than most kids) but is very prone to sloppy mistakes and she seems to have a complete inability to follow directions. Part of this problem is (and I don't know if it's related to anything ADHD) is that she tends to assume what I'm going to say rather than actually listening to what I do say.

 

I'm not sure what my first step is in order to be able to help her.

 

Is it beneficial to get a diagnosis and go through all the testing/assessments?

 

Can I simply work with her inability to focus and help her with that? What can I do about this? Is this only helped by medication? Is there anything else I can do?

 

This is very new to me, sorry for all the questions.

[dirty ethel rackham]

What's her physical activity like? Is she getting breaks where she can run around and get winded?

Does she have auditory issues like not being able to follow multi-step instructions? That can look like ADHD.

Working memory issues can also look like that as well. I wouldn't jump on the add bandwagon until you look at all her processing issues.

[Beach Mom]

Is this a fairly recent occurrence? Honestly, my first thought from your title, before I read your post, was is the child 9?

 

Not to in any way underplay your concerns, but in my experience (3 times) what you describe is a very typical 9 year old. Many changes begin in their bodies around 9. They do have trouble focusing and they do tend to think they know what you are going to say so they either interrupt with the wrong answer, or tune out and then do the wrong thing. They are a bit flighty and scatter brained and at times a bit lazy.

 

When it began to happen to my first (DD) I was concerned. When it happened to the second I was concerned, but then DH reminded me how the first was when she was 9. Now that my third is 9 I recognize all the symptoms, I remind him before he leaves the room what he is supposed to be doing, I have him parrot instructions back to me and I am more patient because I recognize it as a developmental phase. I also look at my 10 year old and am reminded that they grow out of some of this phase and look at my oldest and remember around 12 some other phases begin.

 

You know your child best, does your Mom instinct tell you there is a medical problem, or could it be that your little girl is growing up a little? Trust your instincts and :grouphug:, it is always tough to have a worry about your kids.

[myfunnybunch]

Try reading A Mind at a Time by Mel Levine. It might be at your library. Long ago, on the old board, a poster recommended the book, and it was a huge help for me and my dreamy dd. I recently sent it to a friend whose dd is having learning issues, and have been re-reading my copy. The book deals with different types of learning and attention issues and how to help with each specific issue. Like many books about learning, he assumes you're working with teachers and schools, but the book has a lot of helpful information.

 

Cat

[abbeyej]

Nothing that you say *sounds* like ADHD to me. It sounds like being a child. And, to some extent, being human. All of us have a hard time focusing from time to time and want to think about other things. :)

 

My first thought, like Ellen, was that she needs more physical activity. Actually, lol, my first thought was, "If a child says that to me, I think they need to do something that leaves them sweaty and panting." :) Really, there's nothing so great for refocusing the mind as wearing out the body. 10 minutes of running laps around the outside of the house or hard scootering to the corner and back or even just jumping jacks in the living room can work wonders.

 

I think sloppiness regarding directions and thinking, "Oh, Mom/teacher will just explain it to me" is common for 9yos and particularly common for home schooled kiddos (where it really is so easy for us to simply reword or re-explain directions). It's a habit to work them out of slowly. "Did you read the directions? Okay, read them aloud to me. What do you think they mean? Okay, that's part of it, but what about the rest? No, read again. Yep, that's it. Okay, sounds like you got it. ... You finished that page? Do you want to look over it and make sure you followed each step before you hand it back to me?" etc.

[Night Elf]

Have you looked at the differences between ADD and ADHD? Here is a helpful website.

 

I have ADD. You say she isn't easily distractible but if she is saying her mind is wandering, that is a level of distractability. It also depends on the level that the brain is working. For example, I can sit and read a novel for quite a long time, hours really. My eyes jump around the page and I have to go back and read some paragraphs again because I get ahead of myself, but I still follow the story line and enjoy the book. Studying for school, OTOH, is completely different! I have to be in a quiet room by myself. Outside noises, like loud voices and general moving around, are very distracting. I have to read the textbook aloud most of the time because that helps me focus on the content. Even then I can find myself daydreaming as I get to the bottom of the page and realize I didn't "hear" a word of what I was saying. It's very frustrating.

 

Things got better when I started on meds, but I don't know if that is right for everyone. I only got my diagnosis a year or so ago and was put on meds. If I miss even one pill, I feel the difference in my attention span. But I also read some books and found helpful techniques. If nothing else, I am sure you can find suggestions online to try with your dd without going to seek out any specific medical advice first.

[abbeyej]

Have you looked at the differences between ADD and ADHD? Here is a helpful website.

 

The diagnosis of "ADD" is no longer given. There's ADHD (predominantly inattentive) and ADHD (predominantly hyperactive) or ADHD combined.

 

That said, I STILL don't think that mind-wandering or day-dreaming during school without *any* other symptoms (which is what the OP said) indicates ADHD (of any sort) at all.

[bbkaren]

Don't have anything analytical to say, but chewing sugarfree gum while he works has really helped my son stay focused for whatever reason. I think it's the rhythm of his chewing that keeps him in a groove somehow...

[plain jane]

Does she have auditory issues like not being able to follow multi-step instructions? That can look like ADHD.

 

 

Yes. Definitely this too. But it seems to also go for written directions as well, as I am learning now that she is working through WWS. I thought it was just an auditory thing before but now I'm not so sure.

 

 

Working memory issues can also look like that as well. I wouldn't jump on the add bandwagon until you look at all her processing issues.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by working memory issues. This particular child has the best memory of anyone I know. Memory work comes easily to her, but I'm not sure if this is what you meant or not. :o

[plain jane]

Is this a fairly recent occurrence? Honestly, my first thought from your title, before I read your post, was is the child 9?

 

Not to in any way underplay your concerns, but in my experience (3 times) what you describe is a very typical 9 year old. Many changes begin in their bodies around 9. They do have trouble focusing and they do tend to think they know what you are going to say so they either interrupt with the wrong answer, or tune out and then do the wrong thing. They are a bit flighty and scatter brained and at times a bit lazy.

 

When it began to happen to my first (DD) I was concerned. When it happened to the second I was concerned, but then DH reminded me how the first was when she was 9. Now that my third is 9 I recognize all the symptoms, I remind him before he leaves the room what he is supposed to be doing, I have him parrot instructions back to me and I am more patient because I recognize it as a developmental phase. I also look at my 10 year old and am reminded that they grow out of some of this phase and look at my oldest and remember around 12 some other phases begin.

 

You know your child best, does your Mom instinct tell you there is a medical problem, or could it be that your little girl is growing up a little? Trust your instincts and :grouphug:, it is always tough to have a worry about your kids.

 

I had thought of this too. In fact, I meant to include it in my OP but forgot. :o I have considered that a lot of this could be early puberty issues and that it will pass, but I'm a bit concerned it's not and I'll miss an opportunity to help her.

[plain jane]

Nothing that you say *sounds* like ADHD to me. It sounds like being a child. And, to some extent, being human. All of us have a hard time focusing from time to time and want to think about other things. :)

 

My first thought, like Ellen, was that she needs more physical activity. Actually, lol, my first thought was, "If a child says that to me, I think they need to do something that leaves them sweaty and panting." :) Really, there's nothing so great for refocusing the mind as wearing out the body. 10 minutes of running laps around the outside of the house or hard scootering to the corner and back or even just jumping jacks in the living room can work wonders.

 

I think sloppiness regarding directions and thinking, "Oh, Mom/teacher will just explain it to me" is common for 9yos and particularly common for home schooled kiddos (where it really is so easy for us to simply reword or re-explain directions). It's a habit to work them out of slowly. "Did you read the directions? Okay, read them aloud to me. What do you think they mean? Okay, that's part of it, but what about the rest? No, read again. Yep, that's it. Okay, sounds like you got it. ... You finished that page? Do you want to look over it and make sure you followed each step before you hand it back to me?" etc.

 

Thank you, I will try to add more exercise into her day. I had started a thread a while back about starting off our days with exercise but haven't found what I want the kids to do yet so I've put it off. I'll need to revisit that.

 

For her, it's not just sloppiness regarding directions, but with answers and work as well. I see it especially in math. But, she finds math hard and is easily discouraged and I see how easy it is for her to write down any old answer and move on. :toetap05: She comes up with the weirdest things for math that leave me confused.

 

Math tends to be when her mind wanders the most. :rolleyes: I have not found the perfect program for her yet. :(

[sbgrace]

Someone here recommended this book on a thread and it's been so eye opening to me. Among lots of other great information (if the child is a dreamer..I think you may well be describing a dreamer) he talks about how dreamer kids can look like attention deficit or be dreamers with attention deficit and how to tell the difference. I think my son may be both and perhaps has working memory issues but he's clearly a strong dreamer. Math is our hardest thing here too because it doesn't engage his mind/imagination so the focus is hard for him. If you pm me I am happy to send you the checklist to see if she falls on the side of dreamer. If she does I'd try to get this book.

Edited September 22, 2011 by sbgrace

[dirty ethel rackham]

I meant working memory - the amount of information she can hold onto in the short term. Like following instructions. My middle son who had some working memory issues (mostly on the auditory side because he is a highly visual thinker) could not follow multi-step instructions because he lost everything after the first one.

[Night Elf]

The diagnosis of "ADD" is no longer given. There's ADHD (predominantly inattentive) and ADHD (predominantly hyperactive) or ADHD combined.

 

That said, I STILL don't think that mind-wandering or day-dreaming during school without *any* other symptoms (which is what the OP said) indicates ADHD (of any sort) at all.

 

Interesting. I didn't realize that. I posted because there can be a difference. Some of my family members think my diagnosis is incorrect because I don't bounce of the walls and ceilings. I'm not sure why they have such an extreme view of ADHD. When I read the column on just ADHD, I can tell you that is not me. I wondered if the OP had looked only at ADHD symptoms, the one that is predominantly hyperactive. But when I read the other column, that is me again and again and again. Treatment is different for each as well.

 

It may not be ADHD. I just wanted to offer more information for her to decide if it was something worth following up on.

[plain jane]

I meant working memory - the amount of information she can hold onto in the short term. Like following instructions. My middle son who had some working memory issues (mostly on the auditory side because he is a highly visual thinker) could not follow multi-step instructions because he lost everything after the first one.

 

Oh. Ha! No. :001_huh: I usually lose her on the first instruction, never mind the rest. :blink: I don't even know if she hears me talking some days. :confused:

[kalanamak]

What what you think/do if your child told you this?

 

 

I would think him a normal human chip-off-the-old-block.

[Starr]

Mine told me when asked what he was doing at 7years that he was "thinking thoughts" and yes he is easily distracted and is missing those file boxed in his head. We are always working on new ways to keep him focused. Sending his ds to college has helped. :) If she feels it, I would listen.

[MBM]

Exercise can help by balancing neurotransmitters in the brain creating a calm-alert state. Boys seem to do better with anaerobics, but girls can get by with aerobics.

Exercise also helps some depressed individuals, again by balancing neurotransmitters.

There is a movement in schools to use exercise to help with reading comprehension and behavior issues. I've read of one teacher who set up her classroom with exercise equipment -- treadmills, bikes, etc. -- to help students with ADHD. (She taught a class of only ADHD students.) I haven't read anything about the results yet, but it's an intriguing idea.

If you want to read more, I'd recommend the book Spark by Nicholas Ratey, MD. You don't have to read the whole thing, just the sections on kids and learning.