Can I hear from moms who have hs'd and then put their kids in school?

[lovetobehome]

So I am still undecided. I started back to school a few weeks ago. But we toured the Catholic school, and I have to decide.

Basically, I think I am a little depressed, bored with homeschooling, tired of being a mom all the time, etc.

I can do it, I can muster it up to continue, but I wonder if it is for the best.

My son(11) does HOD RtoR on his own.

My dd (9) is getting help from me to do Preparing Hearts. She and I have some issues together, she feels like she is always the one to get in trouble, she feels unloved, etc. We are working on this.

I just sort of feel like I have lost my love of homeschooling.

My question is, if you sent your kids off to school, did you regret it and bring them back home? Did it work out well and you wish you'd done it sooner? Did they learn all kinds of negative stuff that made things harder between parents and children? Or was it ok? Looking for any thoughts. Thank you so much if you are willing to share. I have so many mixed emotions about all this.

 

ETA: I love the curriculum we are using at home. The curric at the school is secular (Prentice Hall and Houghton sort of stuff). I would greatly miss the Biblical / Godly instruction, emphasis they get with HOD.

[fruitofthewomb]

This is not an answer to your question but I just wanted to say that everyone gets weary in well doing and everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Last week I was crying over my decision to homeschool, wondering if I was doing the right thing. My best friend who sends her kids to public school called me crying because she was wondering if she was doing the right thing, sending them to ps. We both had made the best decision for our famiies but it is so easy to get burdened down in the "what ifs" and thinking it would be better/easier/less stressful if we did something else.

 

If you need encouragment, sign up for AlphaOmega's daily devotional emails. They keep me going with my head up.

 

I will be praying for you...:grouphug:

[boscopup]

I have had my child in school, and it was not horrible. He was bored academically, and he did learn a few bad habits, but nothing horrible. Overall, the experience was fine. If I had to do it again, I'd be ok with him going to that school. It was a private, Christian school though, not a public school.

 

My question for you would be... What were your original reasons for homeschooling, and do those reasons still apply to your family? That might help you with your decision.

 

:grouphug:

[TheAutumnOak]

My question for you would be... What were your original reasons for homeschooling, and do those reasons still apply to your family? That might help you with your decision.

 

:grouphug:

 

That's a good question...

[butterflymommy]

I always answer these threads because I am on the fence too :001_smile:. I have one child who absolutely needs to continue HSing, but the rest I am constantly unsure about. I wake up in the morning thinking it would be better for them to be in school, I go to bed at night glad they are homeschooled!

 

Sometimes the decision can be made for you based on your school choices. Mine are not that great which tends to keep me on the HSing side of things. What is your husband's view of the issue? This should also be part of the decision.

 

To answer your specific question, I did put three of my children in school for three years for the reasons you mention-- I was worn out, tired of homeschooling, felt the pressure was too high on all of us. The experience was good and bad... good in that the teacher and principal were amazing and excellent role models, bad in that the student population left a lot to be desired. Two of my kids were bullied and even had to endure racial slurs and taunting. They saw knockdown/ dragout fights, heard bad language, were exposed to sex talk and anti-intellectual sentiment (kids would laugh if they got a zero on a test... many never did homework... a bad academic scene all around). And btw, this was a private Catholic school!

 

On a more logistical level it was very difficult dealing with the constant colds and illnesses (2 of my kids are medically fragile, a cold can land them in the hospital), dragging reluctant kids into the van in the morning, policing homework was a nightmare and could take as much time as homeschooling.

 

We ultimately pulled them out because we stopped qualifying for financial aid, and two of my kids were very unhappy there (things went rapidly downhill in the second half of their last year, with the bullying and teasing). But if it had been a better social/ academic environment, we may have kept them in, barring financial obstacles.

[melmichigan]

My question for you would be... What were your original reasons for homeschooling, and do those reasons still apply to your family? That might help you with your decision.

 

:iagree: and :grouphug:. My oldest DD has attended PS. Last year was rough, I thought about sending her back many times, but in the end the reasons we brought her home were still very valid and I just had to keep swimming.

[lovetobehome]

hmm....reasons I started:

I taught in PS and hated it. Drugs, pregnancy, abortions, guns, etc. Bad attitudes, rudeness, etc.

I wanted them home to keep their hearts in the home...ties to family, ties to one another, family values. I want their education to be about God....about learning who they are in Him, seeking His truth and not the world's ideas.

That is the nutshell.

I still want those things.

I am just not sure if I can 'just keep swimming' . I struggle a lot with my daughter's resentments of me being her teacher, of me asking her to work. She doesn't like schoolwork, and she takes it out on me. It drags me down, and sometimes I let it get to me so much that I fight back.

[calledtobehome]

I think about putting my kids in school at times but after talking to our neighbors about the local public school it's not an option at least not now! Anyhow have you ever thought about trying out a Homeschool co-op instead?

[Laura Corin]

It's been a great move for us. I am glad that we waited until we did, but both boys were ready for a wider world at that point. They have done very well and I'm happy with the education.

 

Laura

[sixpence1978]

This isn't going to be a popular opinion on this board, but I will go ahead.

 

I put both of my kids in a small private school a couple of years ago. My DS was entering 3rd and DD was entering 1st. We decided to go that way because we didn't feel like our DS was living up to his potential at home. That year was both good and hard. You become a slave to the school schedule and homework. It is hard. But those hours when they were at school allowed me to take off that mom hat for a while. I was able to do a lot of the things around the house that had piled up over the years, to go grocery shopping on my own time, etc.

 

Last year, we pulled our DD to come home due to some learning difficulties. We are still in the same position this year. DD is home and DS is at school. DS thrives at school. It is a very good fit for him. I would love to have DD back at school again (that is the unpopular part), but the reasons she is home still exist. It is hard because she really WANTS to be in school. She doesn't want me to be her teacher.

 

So, I guess to make a long story short, it varies for each family. For me, I do love the idea of homeschooling. The execution of it is the part that I tend to struggle with. I believe that a lot of prayer, considering all the different school options in depth, and finding out what will bring balance to your family are necessary. I have come to the conclusion that ANY type of school is work.

[bnrmom]

We homeschooled K-3 and then they went to the local public school for 1st and 4th. It was fine. Academically the transition was very smoooth (although the 4th grader had typical 9yo boy issues with handwriting and spelling, but nothing tragic). The kids had some good times and some bad times. They picked up some annoying sayings, attitudes, etc., but nothing we couldn't deal with. They were bored a lot of the time in school. DS9yo was stressed a lot because he's kind of disorganized in general, and then add in being a slow writer meant he always felt like he was missing important pieces of information. DS6yo is advanced in reading and math and felt like school was a lot of "babywork." But they had some great teachers and met some nice friends and had some fun experiences that we would not otherwise have had.

 

Overall we prefer the lifestyle of homeschooling, and think that we can give the kids a better academic experience, especially for science, which they both love and is practically nonexistant in school. We will miss some of the things public school offered, but right now both kids want to come back home, so that's what we're doing. We'll see what happens next year . . .

[Coffeetime]

It's agonizing, isn't it?

I went through similar feelings at the end of last year and we've therefore decided to send my oldest DS to private school this year. It's going to be a huge adjustment- but I really think it's best for us --at the moment.

I'll let you know if we survive. ;) In the meantime, just sending some empathy your way.

[almondbutterandjelly]

"I struggle a lot with my daughter's resentments of me being her teacher, of me asking her to work. She doesn't like schoolwork, and she takes it out on me."

 

I would like to gently suggest that it might be a learning style issue? There are lots of ways to learn, and typical schoolwork isn't the only way (I know HOD is not totally typical, but I also know it's not a good fit for everyone). What is her learning style? Is she more visual, auditory or hands on? Does she like to be read to? If she's visual, is she visual print or visual pictures? Does she prefer to be independent? There are really a lot of options out there...

 

I guess what I'm suggesting is that if she doesn't like schoolwork, maybe, with her input, you could figure out different ways to learn that don't look so much like regular school but still get the job done.

 

Oh, and also, I would like to suggest a nice long break. Sounds like you all need to take some time and re-group.

 

Hugs.

[TracyR]

I did feel the same way and did put my children in a Catholic school.

I have mixed emotions. It was a good school. But in the same breath I think I've been a homeschooler at heart.

 

My girls did well there, but my two youngers were tired and cranky. My oldest dealt with girl drama and honestly it was a bit nuts at time. My oldest caught on to the attitude and we at times had to set that straight.

 

I clashed with the teachers a few times.

 

My youngest had to many problems healthwise and I was being called all of the time. So I never experienced that , " You can do stuff for yourself thing." Literally everytime I left the house she either had a potty accident and I had to go to the school to clean her up. Had to fight with insurance to hire a nurse because they didn't have one at the school, had issues with her teacher becoming to buddy, buddy with the nurse that it almost broke HIPPA laws so I had to let the nurse go finally after fighting to get her in the first place. I was on call if the nurse was sick, couldn't make it due to her car, or had another client and would be late. So in that sense it wasn't worth it. I had to be down to the school twice a day to catherize her so I did that twice a day 5 days a week. Even in the blistering snow and cold we get here in the middle of no where because we get Lake Effect snow.

 

So this year I literally need a break from sending my kids TO school. LOL Granted my two middle girls are going to go because they got a scholarship just recently. I"m not sure how its going to work for us if I'll continue with with it. Honestly I wanted them all home this year. But we'll see how it goes.

Personally I'd love to send my oldest to school because she just is lazy and unmotivated if it doesn't have anything to do with a computer. Very frustrating. But I have to because the school dropped their 7th and 8th grade due to lack of students in these two grades , and the high school here is a big fat joke.

My youngest has a similar personality to my oldest child and even though she just turned 5 I'm kind of dreading homeschooling her this year. But we'll do it because I'm not going to go through another year of the nightmare we went through sending her to school.

 

Do I regret sending them? Sometimes. Because I feel like I somewhere along the line lost the reason I homeschooled in the first place. I'm not sure if I'm still decompressing from the experience myself. But I hope I find it again because it really does fit our family.

[ClassicMom]

I think the answer to this question depends a lot on the reasons you homeschool, the potential school that your children would be entering, and your children themselves.

 

I took a two year sabbatical and put my children in the public school system. Had I the chance to do it over again, I would not do it again. However, I did get the break that I needed; somewhat. It's not the break you would think. There is the morning rush, the afternoon homework, evening reading, getting ready for the next day, etc. I've also seen how is squelched my son's ever-inquisitive desire for learning. It took us all summer for him to get this back.

 

Depending on your beliefs, if you are homeschooling for religious reasons, it is difficult to find time in the day to impart those values and teachings into your day. Unlearning bad habits and "social skills" that they pick up at PS is something else that I found was taking up a lot of my time. Unfortunately, one of my children also dealt with a lot of bullying...some children deal with this, some don't. My son had so much anxiety about this that he started developing physical issues from it.

 

Cost is another factor to consider. School fees, clothing, supplies, extra-curricular fees, trip fees, lunches, you name it. I was constantly putting money out for something. If you think that homeschooling books are expensive, it is nothing compared to sending a child to school.

 

What is right for one family may not be right for another and each family has to weigh the pros and cons considerably. However, watching the school bus go by longingly as we do some days when they are rough, we need to keep in mind that the grass is not greener on the other side. I've seen both sides.

[Ritsumei]

hmm....reasons I started:

I taught in PS and hated it. Drugs, pregnancy, abortions, guns, etc. Bad attitudes, rudeness, etc.

I wanted them home to keep their hearts in the home...ties to family, ties to one another, family values. I want their education to be about God....about learning who they are in Him, seeking His truth and not the world's ideas.

That is the nutshell.

I still want those things.

I am just not sure if I can 'just keep swimming' . I struggle a lot with my daughter's resentments of me being her teacher, of me asking her to work. She doesn't like schoolwork, and she takes it out on me. It drags me down, and sometimes I let it get to me so much that I fight back.

 

 

Is this a homeschool issue, or a discipline issue that's showing up in school? If it's the latter, perhaps browsing through some parenting books would give you some new ideas? I particularly like Christlike Parenting, Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach, and Creative Correction. Good luck!

Edited August 18, 2011 by Ritsumei
typos

[AngelaNYC]

My question is, if you sent your kids off to school, did you regret it and bring them back home? Did it work out well and you wish you'd done it sooner? Did they learn all kinds of negative stuff that made things harder between parents and children? Or was it ok? Looking for any thoughts.

 

My dd (15) came out of school in 3rd grade and went back in 9th grade. I have no regrets at all and she's now going into sophomore year. It is working out very well, but I wouldn't have done it sooner. So far, no negative stuff. She's pretty streetwise and I believe homeschooling has given her a great sense of self. She handles things right, imo (better than I would have at her age). No changes for the worse regarding family relationship. It really has been more than ok.

 

I stand by my belief that you really have to LOVE the school they go to. I'm not crazy about the middle schools around here, so my kids go back to school for high school (by their own choice). We get to pick from hundreds of high schools based on the child's interest and my kids only choose those that are top and have an excellent track record - then we cross our fingers and hope they get in.

 

It's been a great experience for us, but I know it's a nerve-wracking decision. Keep in mind nothing has to be a permanent situation. Let them try it, see how it goes, and take it from there. If it doesn't work out, they can come home.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I have PS and HS kids and one in cyberschool and one will go to church preschool. All these forms of school have positives and not so positives. I would say that away school still leaves plenty to disagree with your kids about-homework, extra curriculars, getting up, friends. It's just different disagreements.

[nowimscrappin]

I have a mixture of home and public school kids.

 

My oldest was home 4th - 6th and went back in 7th. She has done well

My son was home 1st - 5th and is going back this year for 6th. It wil be a difficult transition for him

My youngest is 1st grade and we are doing our 2nd year at home.

 

For me, the reasons I began homeschooling focused mainly around the need for a different learning environment for my son. We have had 5 good years together, he can work very independently when motivated, and now is the right time to go back for a lot of reasons.

 

I often feel like you do. While I'm excited to be starting the school year with my youngest (soon), and starting her in Classical Conversations for the first time, I really miss the time I don't get during the day. Now, with only having her at home, I can't even leave her to run a quick errand like I could have in previous years with the older kids home. I feel like my house is a disaster during the school year and I just can't keep up.

 

For us, the morning isn't actually real hectic. My kids do their own breakfast, get themselves ready for school and will leave on their own. There were days last year where my daughter was up and gone before I was even up! :) The adjustment to homework after 4pm is definitely the hardest - and will be a tough transition for my son who is used to being done by about 1pm each day. Our evenings are already hectic and they will get more hectic.

 

It is a tough decision and making the right decision for you, your kids, and your family is a hard one. Good luck

[birchbark]

Is a cottage school an option in your area?