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My 9 year old TOMBOY dd needs a bra......


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but fights to wear one on a daily basis. I tried to prepare her for it. A couple of months ago we spent a couple weeks reading "The Care and Keeping of You" together(which she seemed to enjoy doing that). After we finished the book we went shopping together. I let her pick out some bras and I picked some out. She tried them ALL on and was the happiest with the sport type bras. She prefers boys clothes overall. Loose fitting sports apparel is her favorite. She feels restricted in tighter fitting clothes so I expected the who bra thing to not go over well. But at the time she seemed excited at the thought of growing into a young lady. But, now the bras are not being worn......and she NEEDS to be wearing them. So please tell me, short of forcing her and having a daily battle, do you have any suggestions to help her with this transition?

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Ahem, yes, that was me. Went from being a 9 1/2 year-old fort-building skateboarding He-Man action figure-playing and baseball-playing to a 10 year-old who was basically as tall as I am now at 31 (I think maybe I've grown 1/2 inch since then) and had ... maybe Cs? It was NOT. FUN.

 

Male friends ditched me, had to run in gym holding my chest, female friends were jealous/couldn't deal.

 

One of the many reasons that I would have LOVED to have been homeschooled. ;)

 

Tell her it does get better. Some day perhaps she'll have a husband like mine who asks her every day "Did you grow these just for me?"

 

Until then, proper care and maintenance is necessary. There are plenty of comfortable/sporty options out there that aren't girly/frilly, which is what I so desperately desired. Ironically, now there are tons of those and I just want a little lace. ;)

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:bigear:

 

My dd is going to need a bra soon. Her problem isn't tomboyishness but seams. She will.not.wear ANY clothing with seams around her chest. Think empire waists and babydoll shirts. I'm concerned she won't go for the feeling of the bra band around her chest and have no clue what to do about that.

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My 11 yr old refuses as well. She's just not yet comfortable with her changing body. She wears tanks under her shirts. She's not comfortable with cami's they must be tanks. It works for her for now and I hope within the next year she'll become more comfortable.

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I used to be your daughter LOL....but I didn't need one till around 13. I was all tomboy, wore a lot of boys clothes, etc. My mom had to *make* me wear one. Eventually, I just got used to it. I hated it at first. But yeah, I think the sports bras are the most comfortable.

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That's the type I like wearing best.

 

Me, too :D I have a much younger sister who does, too, and I tell her how fortunate she is to grow up in times where these ones are available. It's the only "I walked two miles in the snow to school" story I have LOL.

 

I used to be your daughter LOL....but I didn't need one till around 13. I was all tomboy, wore a lot of boys clothes, etc. My mom had to *make* me wear one. Eventually, I just got used to it. I hated it at first. But yeah, I think the sports bras are the most comfortable.

 

This was me, too. My sister used to tease me, but that didn't really work. Until I had kids of my own, I'd still go out without a bra. Pregnancy changed things enough to where that's no longer a good -or even safe-idea ::sigh::. I go bra-less at home, as in the moment I walk through the door. I'm Asian, and I leave my shoes -and bra- by the door :D.

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Thank you for the responses. I think I will give her the choice of a bra or undershirt. She will not wear tank tops at all because according to her they are too uncomfortable. I understand that bras are confining, however, she has no problems wearing a swimsuit!!! She doesn't tug or itch like its killing her:glare:.

I didn't wear one until I hit middle school and had to change into gym clothes in front of others. I got my period and I needed a bra in elementary school but my mom never discussed female things with me. I thought it would go smoothly with my daughter since I took the time to prepare her......but I guess I was wrong....LOL...

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:bigear:

 

My dd is going to need a bra soon. Her problem isn't tomboyishness but seams. She will.not.wear ANY clothing with seams around her chest. Think empire waists and babydoll shirts. I'm concerned she won't go for the feeling of the bra band around her chest and have no clue what to do about that.

 

I have sport-tanks with a built in bra. good suppot and no seam around the middle.

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I understand that bras are confining, however, she has no problems wearing a swimsuit!!!

 

Let her wear her swimsuit under her clothes.

 

Pay someone off to tease her?

 

My dd needed a bra at 12. She refused to wear one. After battling her for several weeks, I didn't say anything when she went to school one day without one. The kids called her Pokey, and I never had to remind her again. Not my choice of how to win that battle, but at least I wasn't cast as the bad guy. (My dd joined our family needing a bra, so the tank-top thing wasn't an option ... she was past that stage when she joined us.)

 

I would give your dd as many options as you can, and insist that although she can choose which option to go with, she MUST choose one and be consistent with it.

 

Tara

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I had the same problem with one of my twins. She resisted at first. I kept reminding her, but she would never wear them. I quit making it an issue and all of a sudden one day she started wearing her bra and I never had to remind her again. She was 9, too. I think at that age they are not really emotionally prepared for the changes and it takes a little time to sink in.

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