X-post: Can you give me LD success stories?

[Jean in Newcastle]

It can be a success in one part of one subject! I'd like to know what worked for you in teaching someone with a learning disability. Has it been a particular book? a kind of treatment? an approach like direct teaching or constant drill? lifestyle/diet? Yes, I know these things are highly individual. But I'm at a bit of a low point/ frustration boiling point. In deference to my fragile emotional state right now on this topic could you try to limit this to only what has worked? I'm a bit too discouraged to hear what hasn't worked right now.

[PeterPan]

I don't know if it's encouraging to you at all or not, but I was greatly encouraged by the session on non-standard learners I went to at the Cincy convention a couple weeks ago. She pointed out that our kids are learning by memorization, and that it eventually catches up with them. Because they learn differently, they take longer. However along the way they make so many more connections (on the side-winding roads in the brain) and can be very good at seeing relationships. So her counsel was to focus on UNDERSTANDING, not rote. There are some things we just can't get to stick as well, even if it would be nice or the textbook says to. But we can focus on UNDERSTANDING.

 

Does that get you anywhere? I thought it was also interesting because the speaker (Esther Wilkison) is herself dyslexic. It was interesting to meet adults with the problem who had come to the other side, had been through the hardships of school that didn't always fit them, and survived. She now focuses on the good side of her problem, the gift. No she can't memorize or do certain rote things well, but she has lots of creativity, eventually learned to write (she writes fiction for the BJUP!), and thinks the gift of dyslexia is seeing relationships and understanding people. She felt the other gift of the LD is what we learn along the way about ourselves, about God, about getting through hard things in life.

 

So I don't know where that leaves you. Maybe thinking about some adults with the problems your dc has will encourage you. Struggling in these temporary things of school is NO reflection about how they'll do in life. Sandy in Indy was even telling me some wild accommodations she thought I could make. For instance, would the world REALLY end if my humanities bug *read* the high school science but did no tests? No, she would not learn as much, lol. But she would still get into college and still be fine in all probability. So if you did that, if you totally DROPPED as a requirement or modified radically whatever is frustrating you and yours, would the world end? If you need permission, I'm sure someone here would give it.

 

I'm doing some major rethinking of my own in that vein. I'm thinking about whether things have to be hard and the best, or whether it's really better, in some cases, to redefine the expectations to a level where they CAN be successful. Esther said the constant lack of success in school broke her down to the point where she was, well let's just say ultimately discouraged. And we don't need that for ourselves or our kids. If it means redefining the goals to make them do-able, I think that's ok. There seems to be this constant amping of expectations. The high school board is filled with incredibly high achievers. Even in curriculum like the BJU things have gotten to the point where I really don't think some students have a chance to do that and be successful and come through with their souls unscathed. I just don't see it. If I wanted to put her through that and have that kind of experience, I'd put her in school.

 

Is there anything you can do to relieve the strain right now? We sewed and cleaned out a room today. Can you just do something else for a while and take a break? It's spring, that time when it's more pleasant to be in the yard than at a school table. Maybe if you take a break from whatever it is (or all of it) things will be a bit better. Maybe the solution will come to you later. Sometimes they just need a break.

[chiguirre]

Ds2 is finally learning his math facts, can consistently spell easy words and is reading Thornton Burgess. It took a very long time to get here, we both get really frustrated and school with ds is a long, hard grind, but we are making visible progress. Is it as fun to work with him as my bright and eager dd? No, but it's even more important for him to hs.

 

And, on the bright side, ds has a fantastic memory and can impress adults if they converse on a topic he enjoys.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you so much! After I started this thread I realized that my worst nightmare would be if no one had any LD success stories! Can you guess how pessimistic I've been on this whole topic? I'm busy looking up the programs, and methods mentioned here. I really appreciate the information and the encouragement.

 

And Elizabeth and Julianna - I was so down and pessimistic that it sort of bowled me over when you talked about the gifts that a child with these struggles has. Isn't that awful?! I needed to take a step back and look through more objective lenses than my grey colored ones. . .

[rafiki]

.

[merry gardens]

Thank you so much! After I started this thread I realized that my worst nightmare would be if no one had any LD success stories! Can you guess how pessimistic I've been on this whole topic? I'm busy looking up the programs, and methods mentioned here. I really appreciate the information and the encouragement.

 

And Elizabeth and Julianna - I was so down and pessimistic that it sort of bowled me over when you talked about the gifts that a child with these struggles has. Isn't that awful?! I needed to take a step back and look through more objective lenses than my grey colored ones. . .

:grouphug:

ds (9 1/2) started reading multi-syllable words this year. We're also almost all the way through learning to read and spell the 300 most common English words. There's still struggles and I get really discouraged some days regarding how slow this goes. One success for me--I've gained more patience than I ever thought possible! but I still have a long way to go too.

[PeterPan]

Of course they have gifts! And when we find them and start focusing on them and nurturing them, we start accepting them for who they ARE, not who they aren't.

 

I searched the boards, and it looks like you're really new to this journey. Just give it time. I'll tell you the story someone told me. I had known it before, but I didn't really *know* it till we discovered my ds's apraxia. I probably won't tell it as well as the place I first read it, but the basic idea is the lady signed up for a cruise, thought she was going to see Venice, Europe, all the sights, got on the boat, and got told "Welcome to Denmark!" It's not where she thought she was going. It even turns out to be a pretty nice place, once she gets used to the shock.

 

So to it is with our kids who aren't quite like we thought they would be. You're on a cruise, and you don't know where the ship is going. Wherever it is, it's going to be fine. Your faith and love will get you there. Sometimes you wake up and bang your head a little bit, thinking you really WANTED to go to Paris and see the Eifel Tower, not Denmark. But you explore a little bit, and you figure out Denmark has its nice things. So just explore your world a bit. Start looking for the good in the journey, when you have a chance. I saw in your other thread that you're considering testing. By all means get testing. Get her eyes tested (http://www.covd.org). It's all helpful. Knowledge is power in this case. But these things are SO SMALL, so transitory in the scheme of things. The academic things we worry about are small. Raising them to be loving people, people who love God and others, people who have a desire to do something worthwhile with their lives, this is much bigger. I know a lady with Downs syndrome who is never going to be a fancy person, but she remembers everybody's birthdays and sends them cards. EVERYONE has a gift and something to give. My cousin was (what is no longer called) retarded. He passed away around the time of my son's birth. He had more friends that you or I will ever have at our funerals, because he touched everyone with a smile and told them he loved them. That was his gift.

 

Meeting these adults with the same problems was such a wake-up call to me, because these problems DON'T have to afflict and ruin our kids if we don't let them. It's the school system that says your value and rank in life is some pecking order based on academics. In the real world it ISN'T. In the real world your value is what you give: love, hard work, encouragement, etc. And truly, aside from all the positive thinking and character stuff, it is in fact the case that some of these "LD" learning differences result in STRENGTHS! My dh was class president in high school and college. Can you imagine? How did I marry a man like that?? How did he get to be that way? It's his GIFT. He's just incredibly people observant and people perceptive. My dd, also dyslexic, is the same way. He can't tell you their vs. there, but he can tell you why someone did something. It's really incredible. Life is not a spelling test or a math test. Most of these LD's AREN'T gonna matter later.

 

So just take your time. I'm sorry for the jolt you're having. I had it too. I had it with ds, I had it with dd, and now I feel like I'm having it all over again pondering junior high and high school. But it's still a cruise. It's just a different cruise. You'll wake up and find there is entertainment, is good food, and it is worth being on. You'll get there.

[EKS]

I consider my son's story one of LD success.

 

He has dyslexia and ADHD. He has also been diagnosed with visual problems requiring vision therapy, auditory processing problems, motor planning problems, and Asperger's (which I believe is a misdiagnosis).

 

He struggled throughout elementary school. We finally decided to try medication when he was in 7th grade and that helped quite a bit.

 

But I have to say that I can't put my finger on one particular thing that helped him. I would say that steady, hard work is what helped the most. He has gone from struggling to perform at a slightly below average level to working hard to perform at an extremely high level. His goal is to attend Caltech. I don't know if that will happen, but I am certain that he will be successful as an adult.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Elizabeth - I can't remember what I wrote in my thread about testing, but part of the reason this is overwhelming to me and all is not because dd9 suddenly is having problems. It's because my health has improved to the place where I feel like I'm coming out of a thick fog and taking inventory of how things really are around here. And I discovered that my dd9 has been having trouble for some time. So there is this "Ack, what is going on" thing mixed with a "perhaps I caused it by being ill and not teaching her as well as I should have" thing and a "I'm feeling guilty because I haven't paid enough attention to this until now and she's been feeling frustrated for a long time" thing too.

 

I do know that my dd has gifts - she's a loving friend, she is very athletic, very responsible. She already has her own business (baking) and works very hard at it. But somehow when I sit down with her to do certain parts of school (spelling and math esp.) I find myself forgetting those gifts because the frustration comes to the fore.

 

I really appreciate the posts I've gotten on this thread. It has been very encouraging.

 

In a related aspect, last night we had dinner with some new friends and the husband said to dd9 "I bet you are reading way ahead of your grade level." (she's not) "What level are you reading at?" I just quietly spoke up and said that she didn't really know her level. She just enjoys reading. But inside I cringed a little because I didn't want her to know that she's behind her grade level.

[wapiti]

I don't know if it's encouraging to you at all or not, but I was greatly encouraged by the session on non-standard learners I went to at the Cincy convention a couple weeks ago. She pointed out that our kids are learning by memorization, and that it eventually catches up with them. Because they learn differently, they take longer. However along the way they make so many more connections (on the side-winding roads in the brain) and can be very good at seeing relationships. So her counsel was to focus on UNDERSTANDING, not rote. There are some things we just can't get to stick as well, even if it would be nice or the textbook says to. But we can focus on UNDERSTANDING.

 

Does that get you anywhere? I thought it was also interesting because the speaker (Esther Wilkison) is herself dyslexic. It was interesting to meet adults with the problem who had come to the other side, had been through the hardships of school that didn't always fit them, and survived. She now focuses on the good side of her problem, the gift. No she can't memorize or do certain rote things well, but she has lots of creativity, eventually learned to write (she writes fiction for the BJUP!), and thinks the gift of dyslexia is seeing relationships and understanding people. She felt the other gift of the LD is what we learn along the way about ourselves, about God, about getting through hard things in life.

 

Elizabeth, this is a very interesting point. It reminds me of something Silverman mentioned somewhere along the way, and I was reminded of it a bit ago when I linked her site in another post below. She says that auditory-sequential learners learn well by rote, but that visual-spatial learners learn best by seeing relationships.

 

Jean, I think I can say one of my kids is a success story but he's only 8 :lol: and we still have a ways to go. But he's come *so far*. I'll have to think more on this but I've got to get to sleep.. :)

[peacefully]

.

[PeterPan]

Jean, I understand what your conflict with whether what you're seeing is *your* fault or intrinsic to her. I too have had health problems over the years (I started off homeschooling spending most of the time lying down!), and for quite a while I thought dd's problems were because I hadn't been perfectly consistent at requiring narrations or this or that. Now I know otherwise. Think about it. We were all taught with less than stellar methods, but we survived. I went to poor public schools in Virginia where they didn't even HAVE a lot of the things you think a classroom ought to have, and still I learned to read and spell. We even had one teacher who slept through class! Hehehe...

 

You know, as you sit with her and work with her, whether she's taking to the material as you would expect. Acheivement levels and reading levels aside, you know how she interacts with the material you put in front of her. And if something seems not right, then it probably isn't right. I'm ALL FOR testing. I'm ALL FOR information and not hiding our heads in the sand. Start with some inexpensive ones and just see what happens. It's the end of the year. You can get a CAT from Seton for $25. That's a good first step. Doesn't take long, but it might show you some things, might reassure you, might show you holes. When I did this the first time (similar age actually) my dd did really well on the conceptual and bombed the computation. Her LA scores weren't all consistent. 4th gr is a really common age to have this things become apparent btw. They can't compensate by memorizing or hide it anymore, so they hit a wall. Next I would schedule an eye appointment. Eyes can dramatically affect schoolwork, and they're just a good thing to have checked. For the same price as a regular eye doc you can go to a developmental optometrist (http://www.covd.org ) and have them do their regular eval with a screening for the deeper things. Then they would dig deeper only if they found indication of problems. It's just some basic testing you can do.

 

If the problem is only remediation, there's nothing she's so behind on that it can't be fixed in a year. If there are some issues with processing, her eyes, whatever, you want to get them fixed. It's not like waiting will make them go away. So just take a few steps like I'm suggesting. That CAT is $25 and the basic eye exam with the developmental optometrist, just screening, would be under $100. I paid $250 for our full evaluation with the developmental optometrist (2 1/2 hours, checked everything, used the visagraph goggles to track eye movements when reading, the whole nine yards). So start with a few basic things. That will be less daunting than a neuropsych (which in our area is $2500) and will give you a place to start. If those places find things, they'll refer you to the next place. It's not like you have to do this perfectly. Just take a step and see what you get.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you so much, Elizabeth. There is much wisdom in what you wrote and I will be following up on testing etc.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Thanks for this thread. I'm printing it for the tough days.

[Tiramisu]

I've been off the boards for most of Lent and I feel fortunate to have popped in tonight and found this thread. Thank you to all who posted.

 

:grouphug:

[Laura Corin]

Calvin is a success story: he has coordination difficulties/dyspraxia/SID (different diagnoses at different times). I used HWT cursive for his handwriting. It is now largely legible, but still slow. I took dictation from him for many years, until his writing speed became practical. Now that he is in school he uses handwriting for short work and a keyboard for longer work. He also has a keyboard and extra time for exams. He's still pretty useless at sports, but has learned to like cross country running and hiking. His confidence is high with these accommodations.

 

Laura

[Jean in Newcastle]

His confidence is high with these accommodations.

 

 

 

That's great, Laura! It kills me to see how defeated my dd was starting to feel.

[distancia]

I don't post on the SN board much because my dd is older (just turned 18) but since she was small we have known she is "different". She is gifted with a very high IQ, but with that comes challenges--ADD, slight Aspergers (for the longest time she wouldn't look people in the eye: I had to train her to do that, and how to make social conversation); sensory issues; and an eating disorder, which has been her way to cope with a world she doesn't always quite understand.

 

Despite all that--or maybe because of?--she has had to work harder than her peers to deal with everyday life. Things that come naturally to us "normals" (if there is truly such a thing) can overwhelm her. She's very inflexible, but that pays off when it comes to driving a car, because she is a safe driver and obeys the law. Ditto for drugs and alcohol; though I know she has tried both, she decided they were not for her and she remains steadfast in her beliefs. DD also has a sense of innocence that allows her to see the beauty and wonder of life around her. When she is disappointed she feels it to the core, and unlike her peers, she can't let it roll off her back and just move on. Yet that makes her a wiser person, and she remembers lessons learned.

 

Academically dd has done okay, but not what you would expect from someone with an IQ in the top 1 % of the population. When things got very bad in ps we had to begin homeschooling dd (11th grade), but she has matured a great deal and has achieved more than she believed she could do, coming from the terrible place she was at 2 years ago. Not only that, but she was accepted at a highly selective college (see my signature) because her patience and hard work has paid off.

 

Best of all, dd has figured out to "center" herself. She knows she is not one of those people who can get by on just a few hours of sleep; she knows she needs a lot more quiet time than most; she knows she needs to exercise, eat well, and take one day at a time, while still planning for the future. She doesn't need to be reminded to take her meds in the morning. She handles all her scheduling, which includes a part-time job, full-time classes at the cc, and a boyfriend. I have been relegated to the role as her emotional support coach and chief cook and bottle washer, which is what I am supposed to be, at this stage in her life.

Edited April 17, 2011 by distancia

[Dobela]

Success comes thru lots of dedication, hard hard work, lots of prayer, and lots of parent time searching for answers. Perseverance, perseverance, perseverance.

 

My son is successful first because of vision therapy. Without correcting his vision first, he would never be able to do what he is doing now. After 18 months of vision therapy he went from a diagnosis of dyslexia and a reading level comprable to that of a 3 yr old to being told that he did not have dyslexia and reading at least on a 6th grade level. The reading program used was the Scottish Rite Program for Dyslexics. And we hired a tutor. We had reached a level of frustration where I needed to be the cheerleader, not the coach.

 

I know it is hard when a family is facing more than one issue. When my son was 7 I knew that something was just not quite right, that it was more than just being a late bloomer, so I started him in OT. Shortly after that our dd came into our lives as a foster to adopt child. She was just 7 weeks old and only weighed 4 pounds. She had been born at 26 weeks weighing under 2 pounds. The next year of her life was filled with over 150 medical appointments - most 60 miles away - and I was responsible for taking her to every one of them. My son's schooling kind of fell on the back burner. When dd's life kind of settled down I was focusing back on ds and what I saw scared me. He wasn't making progress at all. He was describing things that told me there was not going to be an easy solution. And it still took another year for everything to fall into place so that he could learn. It took a full year to find appropriate testing, effective therapies, and to know enough specifics to start correcting them.

 

Now, ds is holding his own, for now anyway, and dd is needing more intervention. Of course I don't know what she needs so the search is beginnig anew for answers.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Such wonderfully encouraging stories:) Thank you.

[cjbeach]

I wanted to share with a recent "find" in my ds. My 10yo ds is dx'd with HFA/Aspie (take your pick of dx). He is hyperlexic (reading since 22 mos) but has some motor issue (tying shoes is everyday practice here) and appropriate conversation is rare.

Sports has been a complete nightmare. I dread our weekly tennis lesson.

But music,ahhhhhhhhhh music. He started lessons in January and there is nothing like waking up to the sound of my ds playing our keyboard. It's lovely. It brings me immense joy to hear him warming up to Ode to Joy (he plays without looking at the keyboard) or to play whatever else he's tinkering with. We found an amazing teacher we see twice a week and she just adores him, their bond over music is sweet.:001_smile:

 

Everyday I remind myself that we all have gifts, some may not have been unwrapped yet, but the gifts are there.

 

I fretted almost daily about his future, now I'm just enjoying the present.