Tell me about your extended family - make me feel better (or, I Need A Hug)

[FlyingMOm]

I have so enjoyed this thread! :lol:

 

My MIL's response to our pregnancies:

 

#1 (after YEARS of infertility)- "Oh" (that's it. nothing else. Just "oh")

#2 "OHMYGOD! You're going to have them running around like RATS!!!!

#3 This got very, very nasty. Accused me of tricking dh into getting pregnant, he never wanted kids, etc.

#4 never said a word. Not one word. I'm at her house, 6 months pregnant, and she still never says one word. As if by totally ignoring the pregnancy the baby will go away??? No clue what she's thinking.

 

She passed away right before baby #3 (pregnancy #4) was born so I didn't have to deal with any comments for the 5th pregnancy.

 

She really never got over her son marrying a Yankee. And not just any Yankee, a New Yorker. Oh the horror.

[lionfamily1999]

If you went to school with others (ps or private) then maybe you've had this situation. One day, out of the clear blue sky, a histerical female barrages you through tears and screams that she can't take your drama anymore. You have no idea what on earth she's talking about, but of course you apologize profusely, because hey she is your friend (and sister) and you feel horrible that she's so worked up. Eventually you find out that someone else has been calling her and spewing all sorts of venom. Talking about things that you had no idea had happened, words you don't remember thinking not to mention saying, this person has bashed the bejeeminies out of you to your bff (in my case, sister) and you don't even know where it all came from. You call them (in this case, dear mother) and they act like they haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about. Then, they start crying and light into you. You are the worst person in the world, they KNOW that you don't respect them, of course you never said or did anything, but they KNOW what you're thinking (you're not) :glare:. Later, another friend, someone you love and trust (in my case, my gramma) calls to remind you that you really need to give respect and love :banghead:. It seems like everyone knows what this person seems to think you have been thinking and all this has happened over the past few weeks while you skipped about in sweet ignorance.

 

That's my family. Go hug your mother.

[zookeeperof3]

My MIL accused me of seducing my husband on purpose to get pregnant. Umm, that's a benefit of being married, right? Then, she told me that I only got pregnant so he wouldn't divorce me! We got pregnant on our honeymoon, thanks for the vote of confidence. Then, she demanded a DNA test to prove the baby is my husband's!! This was after she had said that we were together 24 hours a day and she didn't know how we could stand to be together so much!!:lol: We didnt speak to them for the rest of our pregnancy ( about 7 months), it was peaceful. She then demanded to be at the birth, so she could have a DNA test done before dh " got attached" to the baby. Luckily for me, my dh knows his Mom is loco and just laughs at her antics. Now she says we had "better not" get pregnant again.....if she only knew about the seducing going on at my house right now, in the attempt for another child.:)

Edited April 4, 2011 by zookeeperof3
ETA Said "baby' is the light of her life and she calls weekly begging us to let him spend the night at her house!!

[Mommyfaithe]

Dh's grandma...when telling her about baby #1.

 

First trimester: Miscarriage

Second trimester: premature babies

Third trimester: still born babies

 

After dd was born: crib death....

 

:001_huh: seriously...I am not kidding:glare:

Faithe

[KristinaBreece]

I have so enjoyed this thread! :lol:

 

My MIL's response to our pregnancies:

 

#1 (after YEARS of infertility)- "Oh" (that's it. nothing else. Just "oh")

#2 "OHMYGOD! You're going to have them running around like RATS!!!!

#3 This got very, very nasty. Accused me of tricking dh into getting pregnant, he never wanted kids, etc.

#4 never said a word. Not one word. I'm at her house, 6 months pregnant, and she still never says one word. As if by totally ignoring the pregnancy the baby will go away??? No clue what she's thinking.

 

She passed away right before baby #3 (pregnancy #4) was born so I didn't have to deal with any comments for the 5th pregnancy.

 

She really never got over her son marrying a Yankee. And not just any Yankee, a New Yorker. Oh the horror.

 

My MIL responded very badly to each of our pregnancy announcements as well.

 

When we found out we were expecting DS (#1), DH told her by himself. (I already knew she hated me-- Add in that we were unmarried, and that DH was an only, adopted, Mama's boy... Still not her favorite person.) She looked at him and said, "Well, that's your problem."

 

When we found out about DD (#2), we told her together. We'd been married for a while at this point, but DH had just started a new job & the timing was less than ideal. Nevertheless, we were so excited. She looked at me, and she looked at DS (just over a year old), then she looked at DH. "Don't you know that they get more expensive if there's more than one. You can't take care of this one. Well, I hope this gets it out of your system, then." (We were doing FINE-- we just weren't up to her standard of living. They're definitely upper UPPER middle class, and we're still not there.:001_rolleyes:)

 

When we found out about our third pregnancy after being put immediately on birth control following DD's birth and warned that I was not healthy enough to carry another baby, we were so devastated. DH was scared for me, and I was afraid that I would be unable to care for any of them (DC or DH) for the duration of the pregnancy, and what if this all went bad, and DH ended up as a widower with 2 (or 3!) kids to raise on his own. We decided to leave it up to God and just for me to be careful-- we hired a mother's helper and hoped for the best. MIL said, "Well, now you're just stupid. There's no way you can do this, you should just take care of it now." When we lost the baby, she told us she was happy because it was definitely the best possible outcome for all of us.

 

Sweet woman. She is a great grandmother to my DC now, but I don't let her around as much as she would prefer... I can't stand the sight of her.

[Mosaicmind]

Don't know how much better you will feel after hearing this but my family could have a book written about them, in fact I have had offers and offers to do a movie. I grew up in a Satanic cult, (literally). I was told that Satan was my father and from the time I was in the womb my life was doomed. My life was hell. All the so called "normal" life stuff was so out of whack too. One of my sister's, who I thought was my mother my whole life, brothers had been married and divorced 8 times. Two of my uncles who were really my brothers married the same woman and no one really knew who my cousins/niece's father was. My grandfather was my biological father and my aunt was my biological mother.

 

Once I started counseling in 2003 I had each and every psychiatrist and counselor tell me to no longer have any contact with my family. I haven't had any contact on my part since 2005, but they just don't get the hint. I have written letters, my husband has called, we don't answer their phone calls, letters, or anything. Yet, they still try and contact me on a monthly sometimes daily basis. It is infuriating. When we move I will be so glad because they will not know where we are. It will be nice until they find us again.

[Shelly in IL]

It is such a relief to know that others have problem families as well. I am actually going to go talk to a counselor for the first time ever this week - because of family stuff. Sometimes it just feels like it is "just me" that has these issues. I am truly sorry for any of the sadness that you all have experienced, and I pray that I never do any of this to my children.

 

The Gospel reading today mentions that Jesus had to go to Galilee and leave his home, because " a prophet has no honor in his native place.". This was helpful to me, because I'm thinking that even Jesus had troubles in his home surroundings (although obviously not with his mother). Maybe that is why i moved hours away....

[LauraGB]

Don't know how much better you will feel after hearing this but my family could have a book written about them, in fact I have had offers and offers to do a movie. I grew up in a Satanic cult, (literally). I was told that Satan was my father and from the time I was in the womb my life was doomed. My life was hell. All the so called "normal" life stuff was so out of whack too. One of my sister's, who I thought was my mother my whole life, brothers had been married and divorced 8 times. Two of my uncles who were really my brothers married the same woman and no one really knew who my cousins/niece's father was. My grandfather was my biological father and my aunt was my biological mother.

 

Once I started counseling in 2003 I had each and every psychiatrist and counselor tell me to no longer have any contact with my family. I haven't had any contact on my part since 2005, but they just don't get the hint. I have written letters, my husband has called, we don't answer their phone calls, letters, or anything. Yet, they still try and contact me on a monthly sometimes daily basis. It is infuriating. When we move I will be so glad because they will not know where we are. It will be nice until they find us again.

 

Oh, Lisa! You strong, brave woman! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Pippen]

Wow. I have to lol at your retort, though.

 

My dh's grandmother told dh and everyone at Thanksgiving that it's probable his kids aren't his. Even though they're his spitting image and he knows they're 100% his. I was so fuming mad. Dh said maybe they're the mailman's. Our "mailman" is an older lady. Lol. She has no excuse, though. She just doesn't like me.

 

My dad went to his deathbed claiming all three kids weren't his. While digging through copies of his old wills I even found a recent statement instructing that the painting he owned of my deceased brother should be destroyed to keep it out of the hands of his cheating ex-wife.

 

After years of dealing with this sort of family nonsense, we've all had to develop healthy habits to deal with it. I called my mom and told her dad got one last shot in from beyond the grave and we shared a good laugh about it. She ever offered to make a donation to have "First wife was a cheat" engraved on his headstone.:lol:

[Mommyfaithe]

Don't know how much better you will feel after hearing this but my family could have a book written about them, in fact I have had offers and offers to do a movie. I grew up in a Satanic cult, (literally). I was told that Satan was my father and from the time I was in the womb my life was doomed. My life was hell. All the so called "normal" life stuff was so out of whack too. One of my sister's, who I thought was my mother my whole life, brothers had been married and divorced 8 times. Two of my uncles who were really my brothers married the same woman and no one really knew who my cousins/niece's father was. My grandfather was my biological father and my aunt was my biological mother.

 

Once I started counseling in 2003 I had each and every psychiatrist and counselor tell me to no longer have any contact with my family. I haven't had any contact on my part since 2005, but they just don't get the hint. I have written letters, my husband has called, we don't answer their phone calls, letters, or anything. Yet, they still try and contact me on a monthly sometimes daily basis. It is infuriating. When we move I will be so glad because they will not know where we are. It will be nice until they find us again.

 

You win. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am sorry for your past, but happy for you that you have come out of that mess.

Faithe

[mommymilkies]

:grouphug: To everyone on here!

 

My in-laws also berated us on having kids.

 

#3 (dh's first), I think my MIL cried.

 

#4, they asked us how that could happen :lol:

 

#5, before we told them I was pg, FIL commented on how we should not have any more kids because we had too many. :lol:

[Mosaicmind]

You win. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am sorry for your past, but happy for you that you have come out of that mess.

Faithe

 

Everyone that I will be able to help once I get my master's degree wins. Plus the Lord will be glorified when I am finally free.

[Mosaicmind]

Oh, Lisa! You strong, brave woman! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Without the Lord I would not be brave. It's all because of Him.

[Kirch]

Everyone that I will be able to help once I get my master's degree wins. Plus the Lord will be glorified when I am finally free.

 

You know what? With your testimony and boldness, He is already being glorified. :grouphug:

[Liz CA]

:grouphug:

 

Here's one of mine:

 

I met one of my MIL's friends for the first time a few months ago. The lady remarked that my two girls look nothing alike. My MIL said (straight faced), "They probably have different fathers."

 

:blink: WHAT!?!?

 

Seriously? Holy Cow. What did you say? I don't think I can write here what I would have said.

[Audrey]

So, I went to my parents' house today to celebrate Dad's 60-somethingeth birthday. I made lasagna, home made garlic bread and a big old salad. Ds made a double layer chocolate cake. I ended up driving those 45 miles through a hail storm at a rockin' 35 mph - cars in the ditch the whole way, but we stayed on and made it just fine.

 

My mother, bless her heart (:tongue_smilie:), insists on trying on my jeans. So, while I'm standing there in my underwear in the bathroom, looking out the window, she's out in the dining room telling my dad, sister and my kids how my pants are too big for her and not nearly long enough (they are size 4s, btw, and I tell you that only so you can get an understanding of the dynamic here). Then, after she returns my pants, she asks my weight. Then she goes on to wonder aloud how I could possibly weigh more than her (um, because I eat?? But I digress).

 

Then, at the dinner table, she insists on putting a store bought chocolate cake on the table along side ds's home made one. I suggested we just eat ds's gift to grandpa and she freezes the other (she had known in advance he was making one, but bought one of the same flavor at the store anyway :confused:. But, again, I digress). So, for a total of 6 people, we now have 2 double layer chocolate cakes on the table.

 

My sister, who is handicapped and is an emotional eater (close to 300lbs), and who is fed whatever she wants out of guilt by parents, asked for more salad. My mother told me No, she's had enough salad, give her a second piece of lasagna. :confused: So, I gave her more salad.

 

My dd and ds arm wrestled. Dd won (ds didn't stand a chance - dd works on emotion and adrenaline; she will always win no matter how strong ds's physique. Really). My father lectures ds on being in a such a state where his sister wins at arm wrestling. Like they aren't competitive enough, but I digress.

 

I help my mom unload some horse stuff into the barn. She asks me if I want to "burn a weed." I said, "Huh?" She says, "Smoke a weed." I say, astounded, "You've got weed?!" She said no, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes (she doesn't smoke around my dad who has congestive heart failure and only about 40% use of his lungs because he smoked 4 packs a day for about 40 years). Bless her ever-lovin' heart.

 

I came home, poured a glass of pinot noir, warmed a neck wrap and closed my eyes. I have to go back for Easter in a few weeks. Sigh.

 

But I do love them. Really, I do.

 

So, how about it - share your crazy family, whom you still love even though they're crackpots with me so I feel better.

 

Please?

 

 

Well, there isn't enough time left in my life to write about ALL the crackpots in my family and ALL of their nuttiness. I am from the South where we do not ask if insanity runs in the family. We just ask which side it's on. ;)

 

I have a cousin on my dad's side who has led a rather tragic life. She had a daugher when she was only 15, and had a tough time taking care of her, so the daughter was raised by my aunt and uncle instead. The cousin went on to marry a somewhat unsavoury fellow who treated her rather badly, especially when she was pregnant, which was 3 times. Her spouse went on a hunting trip with my cousin's brother (another cousin, obviously) and my dad and a couple of my uncles. He decided to leave town shortly thereafter. Must have been a deer that skeered him. Don't know what else could have. So, my cousin then raised her 3 littles with the help of her parents, but one day, the littlest one (who was 3 at the time) wandered off. They found him in the creek. It was a tragedy to be sure and my cousin didn't quite make it through that mentally. She took to laughing in a very sad, cackling kind of way at the most inappropriate times. To add to her pain, quite sadly, her daughter died of an embollism very suddenly when she (the daughter) was only 19. So, my poor cousin now laughs a lot, which makes us all so sad. But... she has good days too, and a really wicked sense of humour when she's lucid.

 

I have auntie who is a hypochondriac. At any given moment, her contents of her purse could outstock most pharmacies. Not only did she have her doctor on speed dial, she had all 8 of her docs on speed dial. She knew the hours of every single pharmacy within 30 miles of her house. However, she was the only person she knew who ever, ever got sick. No one else ever got sick. We were just "fussy" or "complainers." When my mom got cancer, she told the family at a gathering because she didn't want anyone to feel like she was hiding it, or for them to get the wrong info. My auntie says "Dahling, you don't have cancer! You just need some iron pills." And she proceed to give her some iron pills from her purse. She continued giving my mom iron pills every. single. time. she saw her, up until the last days when my mom was dying in a hospice. Then, she told my mom, "you never took those iron pills, did you?"

 

I have an uncle who is a lounge lizard. Really. He not only drinks himself into a blackout in lounges every weekend, he also sings and plays piano in them. He once invited us all to come see him sing (my bro and I were adults at the time and we are the youngest cousins). He proceeded to do his routine, but in between every song he took the opportunity to tell my grandparents how lousily he'd been raised, then ended with a atrocious story about how his siblings (my mom and auntie) were having an affair.

 

I have a great uncle on my dad's side who is a bronc and bull rider. He is in his 70's and he still does this. I have never seen him sober. This is probably a good thing, as I have also never seen him without a broken limb or broken something. He figures, and I agree, that the booze is a better thing for cutting the edge off the pain than doing drugs. We are all very sure that the next time Uncle Fred goes on a ride, it will be his last, but he continues to defy death. Perhaps all that pickling really is good for something! Uncle Fred tells the best stories, but they're all at least R, and mostly X rated. Uncle Fred has the distinction of teaching every single one of his grand nieces and grand nephews all the good cuss words, and some no one has ever even heard before.

 

So, as you can see... I've got it on both sides. And, that's just for starters... ;)

 

Nutty as all these folks are, and as trying as some of them can truly be, we love them anyway. We're family. We have to love them, because goodness knows no one else will.

[Mosaicmind]

Well, there isn't enough time left in my life to write about ALL the crackpots in my family and ALL of their nuttiness. I am from the South where we do not ask if insanity runs in the family. We just ask which side it's on. ;)

 

I have a cousin on my dad's side who has led a rather tragic life. She had a daugher when she was only 15, and had a tough time taking care of her, so the daughter was raised by my aunt and uncle instead. The cousin went on to marry a somewhat unsavoury fellow who treated her rather badly, especially when she was pregnant, which was 3 times. Her spouse went on a hunting trip with my cousin's brother (another cousin, obviously) and my dad and a couple of my uncles. He decided to leave town shortly thereafter. Must have been a deer that skeered him. Don't know what else could have. So, my cousin then raised her 3 littles with the help of her parents, but one day, the littlest one (who was 3 at the time) wandered off. They found him in the creek. It was a tragedy to be sure and my cousin didn't quite make it through that mentally. She took to laughing in a very sad, cackling kind of way at the most inappropriate times. To add to her pain, quite sadly, her daughter died of an embollism very suddenly when she (the daughter) was only 19. So, my poor cousin now laughs a lot, which makes us all so sad. But... she has good days too, and a really wicked sense of humour when she's lucid.

 

I have auntie who is a hypochondriac. At any given moment, her contents of her purse could outstock most pharmacies. Not only did she have her doctor on speed dial, she had all 8 of her docs on speed dial. She knew the hours of every single pharmacy within 30 miles of her house. However, she was the only person she knew who ever, ever got sick. No one else ever got sick. We were just "fussy" or "complainers." When my mom got cancer, she told the family at a gathering because she didn't want anyone to feel like she was hiding it, or for them to get the wrong info. My auntie says "Dahling, you don't have cancer! You just need some iron pills." And she proceed to give her some iron pills from her purse. She continued giving my mom iron pills every. single. time. she saw her, up until the last days when my mom was dying in a hospice. Then, she told my mom, "you never took those iron pills, did you?"

 

I have an uncle who is a lounge lizard. Really. He not only drinks himself into a blackout in lounges every weekend, he also sings and plays piano in them. He once invited us all to come see him sing (my bro and I were adults at the time and we are the youngest cousins). He proceeded to do his routine, but in between every song he took the opportunity to tell my grandparents how lousily he'd been raised, then ended with a atrocious story about how his siblings (my mom and auntie) were having an affair.

 

I have a great uncle on my dad's side who is a bronc and bull rider. He is in his 70's and he still does this. I have never seen him sober. This is probably a good thing, as I have also never seen him without a broken limb or broken something. He figures, and I agree, that the booze is a better thing for cutting the edge off the pain than doing drugs. We are all very sure that the next time Uncle Fred goes on a ride, it will be his last, but he continues to defy death. Perhaps all that pickling really is good for something! Uncle Fred tells the best stories, but they're all at least R, and mostly X rated. Uncle Fred has the distinction of teaching every single one of his grand nieces and grand nephews all the good cuss words, and some no one has ever even heard before.

 

So, as you can see... I've got it on both sides. And, that's just for starters... ;)

 

Nutty as all these folks are, and as trying as some of them can truly be, we love them anyway. We're family. We have to love them, because goodness knows no one else will.

 

I can't imagine the life your poor cousin has had. To have 2 children die at young ages, I just can't imagine. Laughing is probably her only way to deal with the pain.

[4everHis]

:grouphug:

 

Here's one of mine:

 

I met one of my MIL's friends for the first time a few months ago. The lady remarked that my two girls look nothing alike. My MIL said (straight faced), "They probably have different fathers."

 

:blink: WHAT!?!?

 

I'm sorry but I truly lol! What in the world do you say to that??? I would have died!