Luckymama Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 But who IS supposed to go first, if going first is considered rude? In our family, kids and older adults who are having their plates fixed for them go first. After that, everyone mills around trying to get someone else to go first until the host shoves a plate at someone and makes them line up. Everyone is so concerned with not jumping in line that NOBODY wants to get in line. Haven't made it through the whole thread yet but this struck me as funny------my dad, dsAlmost18, and I now fight for the "who will go last?" position :lol: If no one aged is present, the kids (under 12/13 or so) go first in our extended family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 :lol::lol:I was brought up that if there was the last cookie, or cake left on the plate you couldn't eat it until you had taken the plate and offered it to at least three people. The other people had been brought up the same way and knew they were expected to refuse, so the person who was offering the last one (and really wanted it ) would get the last piece without appearing greedy. This works really well if everyone was brought up the same way. I remember when I was a kid and we were at a large dinner, there was a beautiful sponge that my dad really loved, there was enough desert for everyone. At the finish there was the last piece siting there. My father took the plate and offered it to several people, everyone politely decline, knowing my father really wanted it, but one guest was from Germany, and possibly didn't know this rules of etiquette. He piped up with I'll take it, and ate it . Everyone started laughing. It was really very funny.:lol: Seems silly to go through all of that when he's going to end up with it anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 If I am hosting a meal, I make enough to feed everyone as much as they could possibly eat. At the last brunch I made, I served a breakfast casserole, crepes, bacon, eggs, and sides for those, fruit salad, a desert style salad, cinnamon rolls, and set out yogurt cups, orange juice and some kind of shake. Even though I served several different items, I made enough of each type for everyone. If every person present had filled their plate with fruit salad, there would have been enough. Coming from that perspective makes me wonder why there wasn't more food served. A growing kid taking three pieces of meat wouldn't even hit my radar. I certainly wouldn't think of him as greedy. If you offer to feed someone, I think there should be enough food for every person to be satisfied - including growing boys. When I look at the situation from the position of being the guest, I agree with those who say you should limit portion size if there isn't enough to go around. It is one of those times when you can only control your own actions. As a hostess, I would prepare more in this situation. As a guest, I would take less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Heck I'd be tempted to host next time (and I don't like to host events), serve lots of food, and make sure auntie witch attends and gets to go first in line. I would loudly, because obviously she is hard of hearing if she scolds a child so loudly, exclaim, "Make sure you take all you want, we have plenty." :lol::lol: Sometimes tactless people needs to be caught at their own games. Yes, at 11 I can imagine the appetite kicking in. My ds used to never complain about being hungry. Now if you don't feed him soon enough it turns to grumpiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 :lol::lol: I was brought up that if there was the last cookie, or cake left on the plate you couldn't eat it until you had taken the plate and offered it to at least three people. The other people had been brought up the same way and knew they were expected to refuse, so the person who was offering the last one (and really wanted it ) would get the last piece without appearing greedy. This works really well if everyone was brought up the same way. I remember when I was a kid and we were at a large dinner, there was a beautiful sponge that my dad really loved, there was enough desert for everyone. At the finish there was the last piece siting there. My father took the plate and offered it to several people, everyone politely decline, knowing my father really wanted it, but one guest was from Germany, and possibly didn't know this rules of etiquette. He piped up with I'll take it, and ate it . Everyone started laughing. It was really very funny.:lol: Heheheee... I was brought up the same way!! Hubby too. Many times in our family, there is one last slice of cake or brownie. We ask if anyone else wants it... all the while we are coveting the dessert and praying no one else wants it!! ;) Everyone knows we are being polite and we really want to have the last piece. Now my teen son does the same!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RecumbentHeart Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Heck I'd be tempted to host next time (and I don't like to host events), serve lots of food, and make sure auntie witch attends and gets to go first in line. I would loudly, because obviously she is hard of hearing if she scolds a child so loudly, exclaim, "Make sure you take all you want, we have plenty." :lol::lol: Sometimes tactless people needs to be caught at their own games. I would absolutely be tempted to do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 (edited) totally agree that the hostess should NOT have done that in such a way....guests are guests (children included)---plain rude....We're known for our hospitality in the South--and if I'm having people over I always worry about having enough food therefore I tend to make more than needed. If she was worried about not being able to feed everyone she shouldn't have invited such a crowd then in my opinion-- Edited March 29, 2011 by SweetMissMagnolia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 If I am hosting a meal, I make enough to feed everyone as much as they could possibly eat. At the last brunch I made, I served a breakfast casserole, crepes, bacon, eggs, and sides for those, fruit salad, a desert style salad, cinnamon rolls, and set out yogurt cups, orange juice and some kind of shake. Even though I served several different items, I made enough of each type for everyone. If every person present had filled their plate with fruit salad, there would have been enough. Can I come over? :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Seems silly to go through all of that when he's going to end up with it anyway. Lots or manners seem silly. My ds 7 thinks it is silly to say sorry when he doesn't feel sorry. Or apologize if he accidentally bumps into someone. doesn't make any sense to him. They are just one of those things that in certain parts of the world are considered good manners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Can I come over? :tongue_smilie: Sure. I love company. Iowa might be a bit of a drive, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest momk2000 Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Your son is a child and might not be aware the unwritten rules of buffets. I don't think he did anything wrong, esp. since he is not someone who will take food and not eat it. Your aunt could have subtly whispered to him, "Dear, I want to make sure all the people behind you get meat. Let's just put a slice back and I'll be sure to get you when it's time for seconds." She overreacted. JMO :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Heheheee... I was brought up the same way!! Hubby too. Many times in our family, there is one last slice of cake or brownie. We ask if anyone else wants it... all the while we are coveting the dessert and praying no one else wants it!! ;) Everyone knows we are being polite and we really want to have the last piece. Now my teen son does the same!! I was raised to ask "Would anyone else like another brownie?" (or "...more chicken?") Then you divide however much is left among the people who said yes, even if it means that each person only gets one bite. Alternatively, I don't mention that there's a brownie left and then eat it myself after the kids are in bed. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.