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Moms of AA girls . . . tell me I'll be able to learn to do hair!


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As you may know, I just got back from Ethiopia with our two new kids. While there, I had my dd's (age 8) hair done in braids for a whopping $2.50. But yesterday it was time to take it all out and try something new. Well, I've looked at youtube hairbraiding videos numerous times, but this white mommy can't seem to make her fingers do what they need to do! Heck, I can't even figure out if I'm pulling the right strand or the left strand under the middle strand! I've always been hair-challenged and the best I can do with my caucasian kids is stick their hair in ponytails. I contacted someone who knows a refugee family from Burundi at her church and she is going to ask if the mom can help with my clumsy fingers. But can someone assure me that someone like me *can* do this! (Except for my hair stress, they are settling in really well!)

 

jeri

mom to six now!

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I had to read this post to finally figure out that AA stood for African American and not Alcoholics Anonymous:lol: I don't know what to tell you. I'm extremely hair challenged, but I did finally learn to do dd's hair for gymnastics. I can't french braid or any of that. Congratulations on your new little girls!

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I had to read this post to finally figure out that AA stood for African American and not Alcoholics Anonymous:lol: I don't know what to tell you. I'm extremely hair challenged, but I did finally learn to do dd's hair for gymnastics. I can't french braid or any of that. Congratulations on your new little girls!

 

 

I had to read the post as well and I know Jeri in real life! I couldn't imagine what had gone on her home lately!

 

Amy

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Jeri,

It can be really daunting, I know. I would recommend that you take your dd to a nice hair salon that has an AA stylist on staff. This is key. Ask them to look at the hair and make an assessment. There is a dizzying array of "stuff" on the shelves of CVS and other stores that carry hair care products. There are also a lot of misconceptions among AA people, which has resulted in a lot of unhealthy hair. So there's actually a lot more to it than learning how to braid. The hair actually has to be taken care of differently.

 

Now imagine my frustration. My girls' hair is not only very different than mine, but the two of them each has her own very different type of hair. And I still haven't figured out how to handle it! :D:D

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I guess I'm the only AA mommy here.:D Don't feel bad. I have a dd and I can't even braid hair. I usually wash her hair, use a detangler from Walmart and add some hair lotion, comb her hair out then put her hair into pony tails. Her hair is naturally curly so I allow it to air dry after a good towel dry. If your dd's hair isn't, you may have to blow dry while combing through. Braiding can be tricky if you have never really tried it. My suggestion would be to contact an AA hair salon in your area that you could perhaps take her to. They can braid it for a very reasonable price (it'll be more than @2.50) and give you a tutorial while you watch them. AA hair can have a tendency to dry out so it's key to keep it moisturized with a great hair lotion. Look for B&B (pink and white bottle) if you are at Walmart. HTH

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First and foremost, congratulations! How exciting (and a little daunting) that you grew your number of children by 50% in one fell swoop!

 

Back on task: My cousin is white and her two oldest children are biracial (white/AA) and (get this!) at ages 10 and 8 neither of them has EVER had a haircut! So they have waist length, not exactly kinky but extremely curly, very thick hair.

 

And my cousin does a beautiful job on their hair. Cornrows for the boy, braids and pigtails for the girl, always neat and super cute. My cousin is sort of hair-inclined, but a she's a shipping clerk, not a cosmetologist, and she said it tooks lots and lots of practice to be able to do it as well as she has.

 

So don't give up. If you want to do it, and your kids are patient, you can learn this.

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Someone is setting me up to get some braiding lessons from this Burundian mom and her dds! Also, I think we've got the healthy locks thing ok--lots of moisture with non-mineral oil/petroleum products, no 'pooing (well, not often), and deep conditioning. Really, I LOVE her hair! It's so cool! I just want a neater look than the pony I have it in now.

 

I will keep you all posted!

 

Now, if I could just make injera bread . . .

 

jeri

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Do what I did............go to the nearest Beauty Supply Store in an African American area and say HELP.

 

I had a beautiful 9 year old foster girl that was 1/2 African American, 1/4th Native American and 1/4th Portuguese. She was BEAUTIFUL but her hair had not been taken care of properly in quite a while. I just took her to Sally's Beauty Supply and said HELP. The ladies there laughed with me but were very helpful.

 

She was only with us about 2 weeks (non-custodial kidnapping case from out of state) but in that time I learned to bead her hair, do some braiding, etc. One thing I LOVED about her hair was that we could do it and it would look GREAT 3 days later. My poor white girls hair doesn't look that good 3 MINUTES after I am done with it.

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As you may know, I just got back from Ethiopia with our two new kids. While there, I had my dd's (age 8) hair done in braids for a whopping $2.50. But yesterday it was time to take it all out and try something new. Well, I've looked at youtube hairbraiding videos numerous times, but this white mommy can't seem to make her fingers do what they need to do! Heck, I can't even figure out if I'm pulling the right strand or the left strand under the middle strand! I've always been hair-challenged and the best I can do with my caucasian kids is stick their hair in ponytails. I contacted someone who knows a refugee family from Burundi at her church and she is going to ask if the mom can help with my clumsy fingers. But can someone assure me that someone like me *can* do this! (Except for my hair stress, they are settling in really well!)

 

jeri

mom to six now!

 

3 dd's hair to do here. I second going to watch someone doing it so you can learn. Just remember that there are just as many different types of coarse hair as there are of white people hair tyes. So what works for one won't work for another.

 

What I did learn for my kids is to not use shampoo. I only buy conditioner for them. Anything else and we start to dry out scalps way too much.

 

My favorite hair style is to divide their hair up into small pony tails using the sharp end of a rat tail comb. Then divide the pony into two parts and twist them together--secure with a barrett. [Do a part down the middle, then divide in half, and divide in half again. The thickness of their hair will determine how many pony tails you put in. Just concentrate on making straight lines and it will work out. :)]

 

We have used a lot of hair products but the one that stuck was the organic olive oil hair lotion (green bottle). Target & Walmart both carry it. We like the smell--good for both girls and boys.

 

Also a paddle hair brush helps in combing out hair near the scalp.

 

I used to do all the braiding and beads but it takes soo long with 3 little girls with long hair that I had to simplify. Also I want my girls to start helping/learning how to take care of their own.

 

I like how braids look. But I loathe taking them out. It's as long to take them out as it was to put them in.

 

You can do it! And if you're critiqued and followed around the store by well-meaning woman offering you advice, phone numbers, and suggestions of products remember that even if they freshly walked out of a salon it would be the same.

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I use to braid hair a couple of the girls hair. I LOVED doing it, but I could never get it like the professionals( and moms that had been doing it for a while). If you can French braid, then you can cornrow, you just do it the opposite way..I can't remember if it is over or under right now, I would have to do it on my dd to remember.

My braids would only last about 2 to 3 days. It KILLS your fingers! I have done my dd's hair(which works best when it was wet) it lasted 4 days..I told her I would not do it again for a VERY long time.I think it took me a couple of hours. Do not do the braids to small, the hair will knot up and it will be horrible to try to get out.

I will try to post a picture of my dd on my blog when I braided her hair.

 

OH Well..I have tried posting the picture on my blog, but it wont let me. Sorry!

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Congratulations! You can do it. Don't be afraid to ask questions at the beauty supply store to find out what kind of products will work for your girls. You will need a good shampoo, conditioner, a leave-in conditioner, and some type of grease or lotion depending on the hair texture. Then you need some good combs - a wide toothed comb, a rat-tail comb, and a finer toothed comb. Use the wide toothed comb to untangle the hair starting at the ends not the scalp. Work your way up gently in small sections. Use the rat-tail comb to pick out the braids and to part the hair. Use the finer toothed comb to comb through the sections after you have combed it with the wide toothed comb.

 

I think twists are easier to learn than cornrows. Have you tried taking a small part of her hair and dividing it in two and twisting them together? You can secure each little section with a rubber band at the scalp or you can do it without the rubberband if her hair is coarse enough. twists were the first thing I learned. When I was practicing cornrows and they still looked sloppy, I used to cover them up with a weave. I got fake thin braids at the beauty supply store and crocheted them over the messy cornrows. they could show you at the store how to do it. It is as simple as latch-hooking, and my dd loved having "long hair."

 

have fun with your dds! you can do it!

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Well I don't have much to add. You sound like you have done your research (no pooing, most AA's don't know that;) ). And there has been great advice here. Although I am Black, I had no clue how to braid my daughters hair. Those videos on youtube have helped me a lot. I just keep practicing and each time it gets easier. So, yes you can learn. Its just takes some practice.

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I'm African American and I was in the same boat 4 years ago when I had my only daughter. With boys, you just take them to the barber shop. I was clueless about caring for dd's hair and struggling with my own. One book that helped me was Good Hair: For Colored Girls Who've Considered Weaves When the Chemicals Became Too Ruff. This book talks about the care and nurturing of natural African hair. Another online resource is nappturality.com. You can post specific questions in the forums and get good advice.

 

Going to a salon is a good idea, but be warned. Some salons will try to talk you into straightening dd's hair with lye based perms or hot combs. If they do, run don't walk to your nearest exit. This is just my opinion because I'm a big, big advocate of natural hair, especially for children.

 

Congratulations and good luck!

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Injera Bread

 

Makes 4 - 5 large injera

 

1 c. teff flour

1 1/2 c. warm water

1/2 tsp. salt

 

Mix the flour and water in a bowl, cover with a clean dish towel and allow to rest for 24 to 48 hrs. in warm place.

 

Pour off excess liquid and stir in salt. Heat a non-stick skillet over med. heat and cook 1/2 c. of the batter for about 2 or 3 min. or until air bubbles appear and the bread is done on top. Flip and cook another 2 or 3 min. until done. Store in a clean towel to keep warm.

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I was reading this after reading the previous post and was wondering if this was something for the little girls hair and a new way of straightening:lol: :lol::rofl:

 

Injera Bread

 

Makes 4 - 5 large injera

 

1 c. teff flour

1 1/2 c. warm water

1/2 tsp. salt

 

Mix the flour and water in a bowl, cover with a clean dish towel and allow to rest for 24 to 48 hrs. in warm place.

 

Pour off excess liquid and stir in salt. Heat a non-stick skillet over med. heat and cook 1/2 c. of the batter for about 2 or 3 min. or until air bubbles appear and the bread is done on top. Flip and cook another 2 or 3 min. until done. Store in a clean towel to keep warm.

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This book is by Pamela Ferrell of Cornrows and Company. Her website is http://cornrowsandco.com I've been to their salon and purchased products plus the book, "Let's Talk Hair: Every Black Woman's Personal Consultation for Healthy Growing Hair" and "Thunderhead: A Children's Hair Care Video for Parents: from them. My budget and distance didn't allow me to return to the salon.

Also another book,

Good Hair: For colored girls who've considered weaves when the chemicals became too ruff by Lonnice Brittenum Bonne

Hope this all helps!!

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1)Good Hair: For Colored Girls Who've Considered Weaves When the Chemicals Became Too Ruff.

 

2) I'm a big, big advocate of natural hair, especially for children.

 

 

1) Okay, I am cracking up at that book title. Like the real book didn't have a goofy enough title, and then just take it to the next level. (Rainbow, goofy title or not, is good, though.)

 

2) Me, too! I used to work in Americorps, and the hotness at the time was curly permed hair for white girls and weaves for AA girls. Some of the AA girls *just* had perms, and the other little girls would tease them! It was awful. And these kids were like 7-9 years old. My mom wouldn't even let me use styling product until I was 12, so it was a shock to me.

 

I remember one day, a little boy looked at me and said, "I'm tired of fake braids and fake stiff curlies!" I told him I was, too.

 

Grr. I hate the idea of all those chemicals/glue on a kids head.

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I think I just need to feel a little more empowered and you are all so encouraging! Jean, about the injera bread--I have a recipe for batter, but when I tried to make them (sort of like crepes) then just didn't cook right! It ended up looking like mashed up dog food! We have told them that white flour tortillas are like Mexican injera. In a pinch, it works!

 

Love you guys!

 

jeri

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While we all sat around watching Idol, I actually did *twists*! I'm so psyched to have done something! I don't think they will stay in too long (they are a bit clumsy looking!), but it's a start! And my dd was very pleased.

 

I have ordered several of the books you mentioned at the library, and will be looking on half.com as well. Slow and steady, right? Maybe I just needed to jump in and try a style.

 

Just wanted to share my joy!

 

jeri

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I am very big advocate of teaching my children to love their natural hair textures and lengths, and do not put chemicals, beads, trinkets, or fake hair in my two dds hair. I style their hair in simple twists, and think they look beautiful!

 

I've found that using a spray bottle filled with warm water makes styling my dds hair much easier.

 

Carol's Daughters brand of products are chemical free, I think.

 

Nappturality.com is a good place to educate oneself.

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I think you've been given some great advice. Don't feel bad as I'm AA and cannot do a lick of hair. I'll be so glad if this skips a generation and my girls figure it out. I'm always apologizing to them for my lack of skills. Styling hair is a talent that I just don't have. I'm all thumbs when it comes to a hair full of thick, nappy hair. I wrote an article about my experiences you may find interesting:

 

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/452444/my_mistakes_in_caring_for_africanamerican.html

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Congratulations on your newest blessing. We also adopted from Africa...a son and a daughter from Liberia, West Africa. They came home in Dec '06 so I am somewhat acquainted with the hair woes :tongue_smilie:

 

I have spent at times up to 7 hours doing our dtr's hair (not all in one sitting!!) I use lots of snaps(cute little plastic shapes with hinges to put on the ends of twists...holds beads on too) and beads b/c she loves to clickety clack....I have taken her 2x to a professional ethnic salon but have also been blessed with a few AA friends who have helped me out...I did mostly twists initially and then progressed to cornrows but I am still learning :) Just recently, our teenage babysitter/family friend expressed an interest in learing to do Mercy's hair...what a blessing :)

 

One lifeline for me is the yahoo gp devoted just to hair care for adoptive parents of ethnic children ...lots of links to how to videos and tons of help from moms just like us!!

 

here it is

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adoptionhair_skincare/

 

Feel free to email me privately if you need moral support or have specific questions...

Also I love this site' and have stocked up on beads, headbands and snaps

http://www.snapaholics.com/

HTH< Blessings,

Kathi

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