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Since we are talking holiday plans already, what would you do?


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For 14 years, we have lived out of state from our families, so we've always done our own thing. We've developed our own traditions over the years, and for the last 6 years we've celebrated Christmas by traveling to the mountains. And we all love it. Snow, sledding, hot chocolate, fire burning brightly in the fireplace, etc.

 

My kids came to me a couple of weeks ago with a plan to stay home. :huh: I sort of brushed them off, thinking to myself, "No way!" But I know they'll bring it up again. They are 14 and 17. They said they still love our Christmas tradition, but just want to try something different - stay home, maybe have some friends over, actually get to play the new Wii games, etc.

 

I can't imagine anything worse than having internet access on Christmas day.

 

So what would you do?

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I think you should stick with tradition. That has been something you do every year and they may be a bit disapointed but as an adult they are going to look back and have really great memories. Holiday is family time not time to play on the computer or video games it is time to make treasured memories. Once I got older my parents let me do my own thing I never thought much of it at the time looking back I missed our family time. I should have stayed home instead of those parties and friends get togethers.

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:grouphug: It sounds to me like your kids are trying to gently tell you that they don't love the tradition as much as they used to.

 

Your oldest is not that far away from living away from your home. And therefore getting to choose whether to spend holidays with you or not. I think it would be a good idea to start adopting a collaborative attitude about holiday plans.

 

I'd sit down and share your concerns--you want a quieter Christmas, you want to make sure there's lots of family time--and then work to come up with some guidelines for spending a Christmas at home. Maybe keep Christmas a family-only day and invite friends over on the 26th? Agree to stay off the internet on Christmas? Go to the mountains for New Year's Eve instead?

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I would stay home for Christmas and then maybe go to the mountains after. I understand those that say it is your call, not theirs but it is also their holiday. I think they approached it well and they should get some say in it as well. I think my holiday would be tainted by the fact that I knew my kids didn't want to be there if I went to the mountains anyway.

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:grouphug: It sounds to me like your kids are trying to gently tell you that they don't love the tradition as much as they used to.

 

Your oldest is not that far away from living away from your home. And therefore getting to choose whether to spend holidays with you or not. I think it would be a good idea to start adopting a collaborative attitude about holiday plans.

 

I'd sit down and share your concerns--you want a quieter Christmas, you want to make sure there's lots of family time--and then work to come up with some guidelines for spending a Christmas at home. Maybe keep Christmas a family-only day and invite friends over on the 26th? Agree to stay off the internet on Christmas? Go to the mountains for New Year's Eve instead?

 

:iagree:

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I would have everyone (including both parents) list what is most important to them about Christmas (prompt them for ideas on food, activities, people etc). Then review it all with an open mind. Sometimes little things that are important to kids are not to parents and vice versa. Then try to craft a Holiday that includes as much of the important traditions or new traditions as possible.

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I read some of the replies and then broached the subject at dinner. Dh felt as I did - that we don't want to forgo the memories/tradition entirely. But we didn't come to a decision about go or no go.

 

I appreciate all the replies - although I admit that when I read the suggestions to let the kids decide - I thought, "I only want replies that agree with my wants!"

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Every year we have always spent Christmas at my parent's house in Lake Arrowhead. Last year I just wanted to stay home and have Christmas at our house. It was nice, and I am glad the kids and I experienced it. But we all missed the snow, cold weather, and everything else that seems to say Christmas to us. This year we will be in the mountains for Christmas, and I can't wait!

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