Said to my ds camping with scouts this weekend...

[LisaKinVA]

"Since you're going to be homeschooled until college, you're going to lack social skills and leadership skills." :glare:

 

Wonder where this 12yo boy heard this, and if his parents are aware of their son's glaring lack of social and leadership skills?

[Chris in VA]

"Is that what happened to you?"

 

I'd be so tempted.

[TXMary2]

I'd say something to the little snot's parents. I can understand if you didn't want to though- confrontation stinks. That said, their kid is rude and they should know that.

[SheilaZ]

Wow some one should let my son know. He's only been a scout for 20 months and is a Star Scout, a patrol leader and was voted into Order of the Arrow.

Imagine what he could have done if he actually had social and leadership skills.:lol:

[RamonaQ]

Honestly, you can't control what other people say. You can only respond to it. Whenever something like this happens, I ask my child if they believe it, and help them come up with a reasonable response.

[Julie in Austin]

"But I'll have some tact and social graces, and those are more important in the long run."

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Nothing boys say to each other surprises me anymore.

 

I tell DS to let it slide. His achievements speak volumes about his skills.

[RanchGirl]

"maybe we can sign up for a remedial manners course together."

[5LittleMonkeys]

I'd say something to the little snot's parents. I can understand if you didn't want to though- confrontation stinks. That said, their kid is rude and they should know that.

 

It wouldn't surprise me if he heard it from his parents. Sounds kind-of grown-up for a little boy to come up with on his own.

[hillfarm]

This strikes me as funny because I put together a leadership course for school last year. I pulled from such disparate sources as church materials and the US Marine Corps. And this was for my daughter! That other kid better look out, because girls like her will eat him for lunch when they cross paths out in the big bad college or corporate world!

[FaithManor]

I would say to the parents, "The only one lacking in social skills is your son since he is completely unaware of how inappropriate his comments are."

 

Faith

[simka2]

I'm sorry this was said to your son. What a great illustration of how not to act!!!

[LisaKinVA]

We have had a lengthy conversation about it, and that most likely the comment was made out of ignorance ... as well as alternate ways he could handle it. I want to be introduced to the scout's dad who is an ASM, hoping he'll talk to me about his concerns. That way I can pull out my "Honesty is so refreshing these days, I appreciate knowing what you really think of me. " comment. I really like using that one. The funniest part was that it was predictive. My son is currently viewed as a natural born leader, with strong social skills. Do these people really think I can change my 11 yo that much?lp

[elegantlion]

"Is that what happened to you?"

 

I'd be so tempted.

 

<high five> :D

[Sebastian (a lady)]

"Since you're going to be homeschooled until college, you're going to lack social skills and leadership skills." :glare:

 

Wonder where this 12yo boy heard this, and if his parents are aware of their son's glaring lack of social and leadership skills?

 

:lol::lol:

 

I would have snorted my "old goat" coffee all over if I'd heard that.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

"Since you're going to be homeschooled until college, you're going to lack social skills and leadership skills." :glare:

 

Wonder where this 12yo boy heard this, and if his parents are aware of their son's glaring lack of social and leadership skills?

 

My son is ASPL at 12 because the older, schooled scouts couldn't be bothered with taking on the leadership responsibilities.

 

He was the youngest scout from our troop to attend the Japanese National Jamboree in early August. He used his social skills to bring honor to his contingent when he was picked to be in a group of scouts who were introduced to the Japanese Crown Prince.

 

[When he came home, he gave me one of the gifts the Crown Prince had given him and told me that he was so glad I convinced him to go to the jamboree. Now that's some social skills: admitting you were wrong and giving mom a gift.:tongue_smilie:]

 

Seriously, the scouts who we've had to counsel for hitting, name calling, and other poor behavior have not lacked for time in public school.

[LisaKinVA]

DS had his meeting for tenderfoot tonight... he had to fill out his form listing his strengths & weaknesses, etc. He didn't have communication on the list, and his counselor asked him about it. DS put it under "weakness." Counselor took one look and said, "No... it's one of your greatest strengths," as he drew a line from that item to the other paragraph.

 

Did I mention that my son is the only new scout that was elected to a troop-leadership position? He's the troop historian.

 

He's feeling pretty good. And I am proud of the young man he's growing into!

[....]

"Since you're going to be homeschooled until college, you're going to lack social skills and leadership skills." :glare:

 

Wonder where this 12yo boy heard this, and if his parents are aware of their son's glaring lack of social and leadership skills?

 

Ya' know...this always irritates me... I hate to waste space on the message board with this, but I spent about an hour last night ranting about the ps kids on our street and THEIR horrific social skills. Here's an example of some of the things they have done recently:

 

10 yro told my 7 yro son it was "ok" to drink gasoline and then was sniffing the containers in our garage. What???? 10 yro telling my 7 yro he has a gun.

 

other 10 yro boy peeping into my 8 yro daughter's bedroom window :glare:

 

8 yro girl rings doorbell, asks my kids to come out and play, my kids say "Ok", go outside and 8 yro girl starts teasing them and saying she doesn't want to play with them and runs into her house. Let's add that 8 yro rings doorbell several times a day.

 

10 yro boy (ya' know, the one who was sniffing gasoline) "propositioning" my 8 yro daughter (what are they gonna do, exactly????) and teaching my 7 yro the "F Word"

 

I'm sorry, but I have absolutely had it with other people's kids' massively unhealthy and dysfunctional *&^%. I get the stupid socialization argument thrown at me all the time and it just makes me want to :banghead:.

[....]

Did I mention that my son is the only new scout that was elected to a troop-leadership position? He's the troop historian.

 

He's feeling pretty good. And I am proud of the young man he's growing into!

 

Yeah, these are things that he can put on his college applications later, too. Our Cubmaster was telling us that there are scholarships out there specifically for Scouts.

[mommaduck]

Seriously, the scouts who we've had to counsel for hitting, name calling, and other poor behavior have not lacked for time in public school.

Honestly, the way scouts behaved when my kid brother was in them is partly why I haven't attempted to put my boys in them. I know that it was THAT group, but it made me leary. Also all the catfighting over leadership positions amoung the adults.

[creekland]

Honestly, the way scouts behaved when my kid brother was in them is partly why I haven't attempted to put my boys in them. I know that it was THAT group, but it made me leary. Also all the catfighting over leadership positions amoung the adults.

 

Our main experience with scouts has been camping (we're not scouts - camping in campgrounds when scouts are there). It's been 100% negative and we now try hard to avoid any campground with them. They are generally very loud into all hours of the night, they think nothing of picking up wood for their fires even when campgrounds have a rule against it, and the adults do next to nothing (or nothing) to control them. (Just a few examples that tended to cross over on most of our experiences.)

 

I'm 100% certain not ALL scouts are this way, but overall, all we have is a very bad impression. I suspect most are ps kids. If more were homeschooled I would expect to see an improvement based on other homeschooled kids we know and families we know that camp, but I might be showing my bias there.

 

I don't mind scouts around town - several of them do really nice service projects (homeschooled or ps) and most are really polite, but in the campgrounds... UGH!

 

Back to the OP... at 12, this boy was likely just repeating what he's heard. Most 12 year olds will do that. They don't really think about tact or social skills at that age - especially boys. I don't think scouts had anything to do with it.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Our main experience with scouts has been camping (we're not scouts - camping in campgrounds when scouts are there). It's been 100% negative and we now try hard to avoid any campground with them. They are generally very loud into all hours of the night, they think nothing of picking up wood for their fires even when campgrounds have a rule against it, and the adults do next to nothing (or nothing) to control them. (Just a few examples that tended to cross over on most of our experiences.)

 

I'm 100% certain not ALL scouts are this way, but overall, all we have is a very bad impression. I suspect most are ps kids. If more were homeschooled I would expect to see an improvement based on other homeschooled kids we know and families we know that camp, but I might be showing my bias there.

 

I don't mind scouts around town - several of them do really nice service projects (homeschooled or ps) and most are really polite, but in the campgrounds... UGH!

 

Back to the OP... at 12, this boy was likely just repeating what he's heard. Most 12 year olds will do that. They don't really think about tact or social skills at that age - especially boys. I don't think scouts had anything to do with it.

 

I find it so disappointing when scouts don't set a positive example when they are out.

 

I think that there are a couple reasons. Kids have gotten very used to pushing boundaries as far as they can go and the boundaries have honestly shifted over the decades. Kids have also gotten accustomed to not heeding what adults tell them.

 

Adults have gotten lax/wary in telling kids that their behavior in inappropriate/not up to standards. Also many adults don't want to deal with the drama of sending a poorly behavion scout home from even a meeting, let alone an outing.

 

The urbanization of our society means that fewer and fewer adults are comfortable even going on a hike, let alone camping at a campground without the comforts of home and let's not even talk about camping somewhere on a trail.

 

I'm a trainer for our cub scout pack. It is hard to get the parents to even consider being leaders for their kids' dens and to complete the basic leader training. It is rare for me to get an adult to go to any of the outdoor training.

 

I remember one of my first cub scout events as a leader for 1st graders was held at the volleyball sand pit for the marine house at our embassy. You would think that scouts would have been on a short rein. But I found a group of 5th grade Webelos on the roof of one of the out buildings. I told them to get down and returned them to their leader. She looked at me with a shocked look and asked how I'd gotten them down. I couldn't believe that she'd even considered the idea that their not coming down was an option.

 

Adults who aren't used to requiring good choices in town don't become wise leaders just because they are in the outdoors. Adults (in and out of scouts) really need to step up to being the grown ups.

[creekland]

I find it so disappointing when scouts don't set a positive example when they are out.

 

I think that there are a couple reasons. Kids have gotten very used to pushing boundaries as far as they can go and the boundaries have honestly shifted over the decades. Kids have also gotten accustomed to not heeding what adults tell them.

 

Adults have gotten lax/wary in telling kids that their behavior in inappropriate/not up to standards. Also many adults don't want to deal with the drama of sending a poorly behavion scout home from even a meeting, let alone an outing.

 

The urbanization of our society means that fewer and fewer adults are comfortable even going on a hike, let alone camping at a campground without the comforts of home and let's not even talk about camping somewhere on a trail.

 

I'm a trainer for our cub scout pack. It is hard to get the parents to even consider being leaders for their kids' dens and to complete the basic leader training. It is rare for me to get an adult to go to any of the outdoor training.

 

I remember one of my first cub scout events as a leader for 1st graders was held at the volleyball sand pit for the marine house at our embassy. You would think that scouts would have been on a short rein. But I found a group of 5th grade Webelos on the roof of one of the out buildings. I told them to get down and returned them to their leader. She looked at me with a shocked look and asked how I'd gotten them down. I couldn't believe that she'd even considered the idea that their not coming down was an option.

 

Adults who aren't used to requiring good choices in town don't become wise leaders just because they are in the outdoors. Adults (in and out of scouts) really need to step up to being the grown ups.

 

I agree with a lot of your thoughts. The first couple of times we encountered Scouts we actually tried to be helpful and explained to them things like "not picking up dead wood" when it's not allowed (especially right next to non-scout tents like ours, ie, right on our campsite) and staying on the trail in delicate plant-life areas (again, as directed in the park rules), but it never worked. Forget the concept of quiet hours. All any leader would ever tell us is that they were "boys" as if that explained everything. Even when we pointed the wood issue out to a leader (who had an armful himself) he just rolled his eyes at us. I suspect he did the same to the volunteer host, but he did, at least, call a few kids and tell them to stop (for the moment - kids were out again later).

 

We'll leave a campground now if Scouts are there and will ask prior to checking in. It's much easier on our camping brains.

 

I think there are just too few adults with more traditional camping experiences who are able to pass them on. Then they have to try to control the boys who probably are not used to being under a lot of control and are excited about being out in the woods. Who knows? My dad, nephew, and cousin were all scouts. My dad certainly didn't behave the way the majority of camping scouts do now (so he says anyway!). I have no idea about my cousin or my nephew. I know my nephew did fine camping with us, but in a different situation I have no idea how he'd behave. My guess is he'd join in doing whatever his peers were doing.

[LisaKinVA]

I suppose our troop may be a bit different on all of this...as the vast majority of our ASM's are both former Eagle Scouts and either now officers in the military or formerly officers in the military. They don't usually stand for stuff like that.

 

This is not to say that nothing ever happens, just the times we've been camping with the boys they seemed both respectful of the rules, hours and people there.

[creekland]

I suppose our troop may be a bit different on all of this...as the vast majority of our ASM's are both former Eagle Scouts and either now officers in the military or formerly officers in the military. They don't usually stand for stuff like that.

 

This is not to say that nothing ever happens, just the times we've been camping with the boys they seemed both respectful of the rules, hours and people there.

 

That's good to know! I sure like to think there are people who know what they're doing that are passing on a love and respect for the wilderness.

 

For what it's worth (as it MIGHT make a difference due to prevalent culture in the area), all of our "horror" memories occurred on our western trips in places like Glacier, Lassen, Big Trees State Park, and Sequoia. Since then, we've successfully avoided scouts.

 

I'll also fully admit we might have been camping with well behaved/trained scouts prior to then and not known it. It's the annoying ones that stick out just like anywhere else. That said, we're not changing back to not asking.

 

And overall, we still support scouting as the scouts teach nice values IMO esp for kids who might not otherwise ever experience some of these things. We just don't want to camp with them.