Have you made a decision and changed your life?

[Moxie]

There was a thread a month or so back about becoming a happier person. I'm curious; has anyone here made a big change in their attitude like that? I'm not talking about moving or changing jobs or deciding to homeschool. I'm talking about making an big interior change. I can see the things that need to change in my life but I don't know how to change them. I would love to hear from people who have tackled a big project like this successfully and how you did it. I can see that if I were to get up early, before my kids, to pray and exercise, our days would be sooo much better. I set my alarm but don't get out of bed. It isn't that I can't get up because if we need to be somewhere early, I'm up and at it. This is totally a matter of will. I'm pretty disciplined about most areas of my life but this is one area that I'm struggling with.

[MelanieM]

Yes!! I changed my thoughts, and it changed my life. Basically, I watch what I'm thinking and reach for better thoughts. When I feel pissy, I find something to appreciate. When I'm frustrated, I remind myself that it will pass soon enough. I always try to look for the bright side. I speak to myself in positive terms. I strive for gentle and loving and appreciative as much as possible, and expect good things. My world is a beautiful place, and magic happens around me all the time. Life is good. :D

[kwickimom]

homeschooling is a result of the interior changes I made!

 

I read the book Live Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen. It is a super positive book about how your attitude can change your life. I focus daily on being a positive person. I always think about how lucky I am to have 3 healthy children. No matter what happens in my day I know that I have that. That should be enough blessing to last me a lifetime. When things start to get me down I always go back to that basic blessing that I have RIGHT NOW. It is all about RIGHT NOW, at least for me. I cant change the past and I cannot predict the future. I only have RIGHT NOW.

 

So I focus on, what can I do right now to better my life? I can pray, I can exercise, I can eat healthy, I can love on my kids, I can bless my family by cooking and cleaning, I can make a peaceful home for my working husband. I can forgive people that have sinned against me, I can call my Gram and tell her I love her, I can teach my children with patience and love. I dont have time to get down about someone talking behind my back, because I only have RIGHT NOW. I dont have time to hate my in-laws because I am focused on the fact that I onlu have right now, and thats only enough time for me to love my children.

 

I just always keep in my head that everything can be gone tomorrow and I want to make sure I spent every moment today doing loving, positive things.

 

I used to be so negative, and it took its toll on my mentally and physically. Being positive really can change your life!

Edited August 20, 2010 by kwickimom

[BMW]

Each year I take time at New Years to look at the past year and evaluate and set personal goals for myself... not resolutions that will last from days to weeks, but monthly and yearly goals in several areas of my life. BUT I noticed in recent years that these goals were just the same ol' same ol'.

 

Last year I think I went backwards in what I wanted for myself... in terms of happiness and attitude. I was grumpy, tired, irritable and got angry a lot with my kids. I said things that I wasn't proud of. I had enough of myself and found a licensed family/marriage therapist. This has been one of the best moves I made for myself... well worth the $100.00 per month! I figured it was time to put my oxygen mask on and get myself breathing before I could really parent my kids and help them! I have overcome a lot of challenges that I needed to work through and I have set a good example to my children... that counseling can be a very, very good thing...

 

My children have noticed that I am much less frequently angry... things that used to trigger my frustration and anger don't often do that anymore. I still have some moments, but I have learned great skills to help myself be a better person.

 

Hope this helps...

[Dobela]

I have made great efforts to not allow problems from outside the family effect what is inside our family. For example, my mother and I do not get along at all. She and I have had some very big, very painful disagreements over the last 2 years. After each one I woulld be mad and sullen for days. Needless to say that seriously effected how I interacted with my husband and children. I decided last November that I would vent to my dh after the kids go to bed, but the rest of the day I would not allow it to change the mood in the house if she called with her venom.

 

It has made a big difference. I make a point to be calm and patient with the kids and the response is amazing. I work hard to make our day what I want it to be instead of a reaction to her. And by chosing to do happy or funny things with the kids instead of mulling over her words, we are more content, more happy, and closer. Sometimes it is really hard to make that change when she has just spoken ugly to us at church or somewhere, but I refuse to let her negative personality make my life miserable.

[myfunnybunch]

I decided that instead of telling myself "Today I won't be crabby/yell/be anxious," that I needed to start my day with "Today I will..."

 

Smile, even when I don't want to.

Greet the day as though it is a wonderful opportunity for growth and blessings.

Love my children mindfully.

Do my chores even if I am tired, instead of putting them off.

Compliment every person in my family at least once.

Compliment myself at least once.

Make a conscious choice to be kind.

 

Say "Yes."

 

The last has been the most challenging for me and has brought me the most growth.

 

This summer, we have had 2-8 extra people at the dinner table at least once a week, sometimes at the last minute.

 

We have hosted students from another country even though we'd decided not to.

 

Eaten ice cream, cheesecake and cobbler without feeling guilty. (Saying yes to myself too, lol.)

 

Gone out and about when I wanted to stay home.

 

Helped friends, even when I wanted to plead "too busy/too tired."

 

"Yes" looks different for each person, but the rewards I've reaped from remembering to say yes unless I have to say no have been....my life is so rich. I told my dh yesterday that we will look back on these years with no regrets because we have gotten so much out of this.

 

Cat

[Rosie_0801]

Mmm. I solved some long term confidence issues in my late teens/early 20's.

 

How?

 

I pretended until it became habit :lol:

 

 

OP, I think you need to bribe yourself to get out of bed. Chop up the fruit you need for a smoothie the night before and take it for a leisurely wander around the block. You have tasty and nutritious brekkie, exercise and who said prayer had to be stationary?

 

 

:)

Rosie

[Erica in OR]

Just read a good book on this called "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. She spent a year doing research into happiness and things she could change in her life to become more happy. She focused on certain aspects each month. She blogged about it during the project as well, at http://www.happiness-project.com/. She also has a "Happiness Project Toolbox" site for those who wish to start their own "project".

 

Erica in OR

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I changed my eating habits and changed my life that way. It has made a huge difference in my attitude and general well being. I used to tend toward depression and sluggishness. Now, I have more energy and enthusiasm for things.

[Ginevra]

When I was in my early 20's, I read the book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. The very first habit - Be Proactive - revolutionized my thinking. I was raised by victim-mentality people and up until that point, had no notion of shaping my own life, even my own state of mind. But reading that book, it was like suddenly seeing clearly for the first time in my life. I profoundly and permanently changed that about myself.

 

That book remains one of the best books ever written for getting one's act together.

[Guest B-mom]

Yes!! I changed my thoughts, and it changed my life. Basically, I watch what I'm thinking and reach for better thoughts. When I feel pissy, I find something to appreciate. When I'm frustrated, I remind myself that it will pass soon enough. I always try to look for the bright side. I speak to myself in positive terms. I strive for gentle and loving and appreciative as much as possible, and expect good things. My world is a beautiful place, and magic happens around me all the time. Life is good. :D

 

Mmm. I solved some long term confidence issues in my late teens/early 20's.

 

How?

 

I pretended until it became habit :lol:

 

 

 

 

:)

Rosie

Yep, what they said! Totally changed my life in all kinds of ways, including my relationships with dh, ds and my mom who lives with us.

 

Then this year I added in daily prayer and even better things started happening.

 

But it's not just about good things happening. Whatever happens, I'm able to look for the gift in it, and that changes the outcome.

 

Whatever you focus on expands, so focus on the good stuff! Especially when you don't feel like it.

[Halcyon]

I may have been the OP of that post. I do remember it well.

 

The answer is: YES. I have made changes. I am happier. More relaxed. I don't shout as much at all (not perfect! but better). I have applied for a job. I am meditating. I am journaling. I am taking myself on 'dates' to the art store, gardening, taking a hot bath. I have slowed down and am trying to take life less seriously (hard!).

 

So, yes.

[Dandelion]

I can see that if I were to get up early, before my kids, to pray and exercise, our days would be sooo much better. I set my alarm but don't get out of bed. It isn't that I can't get up because if we need to be somewhere early, I'm up and at it. This is totally a matter of will. I'm pretty disciplined about most areas of my life but this is one area that I'm struggling with.

 

You've gotten some great advice above...

 

Just two things to add to what's already been said (and these have been key for me with any positive changes I've made in my life):

 

- Don't wait for motivation to come - just do it. The reason people often fail with making positive changes in their life is because they wait until they feel motivated. Motivation comes from taking action - not the other way around. Start small (take baby steps if you have to, like just exercising for 5 min. the first day) - but take action.

- Focus on creating new habits. It's really true that if you can do something consistently for 3 weeks, it will become second nature. I've experienced the truth of this principle many times. Whether it's getting up at a certain time, exercising consistently, flossing, whatever - if you do it each and every day for 3 weeks you will have a new habit. And by creating a new habit, you've "reprogrammed" your mind to expect that new way of being/doing so that your subconscious will try to bring all your actions into line with this new mental image you've created for yourself (there's some really interesting science behind this). This makes it much easier to stick with getting up at a certain time, exercising every day, etc.

 

Good luck! :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

5 weeks ago I made a decision to put myself much higher on the priority list. This means primarily that being healthy is one of my top priorities now. I don't really know how this is going to work once we start the new school year but I absolutely refuse to stop eating right, exercising, and taking time for my relationship with God. I've seen how my putting all that last has not only hurt me for too long but it has negatively impacted my family. My kids are being trained that when I'm doing my "healthy routine" that no one is to bother me unless there is arterial blood or fire involved!

[The Girls' Mom]

I have.

 

This probably isn't the PC answer, but giving my life to God and accepting Christ completely turned my life around. Without Him I wouldn't be where I am today, nor could I have made the internal changes that I have. My blog has a lot more about it if you are interested. If not, that's ok too :001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have.

 

This probably isn't the PC answer, but giving my life to God and accepting Christ completely turned my life around. Without Him I wouldn't be where I am today, nor could I have made the internal changes that I have. My blog has a lot more about it if you are interested. If not, that's ok too :001_smile:

 

True for me too. But since I made that decision when I was only 5 years old, I didn't see it as such a huge change though I'm sure it has changed the direction of my life.