What on earth was I thinking!

[FaithManor]

Every year I am excited to begin the school year, every year one of these children manages to steal my joy. A day in the life of our homeschool:

 

1.I get up alllllllllll happy to break out the new curriculum!

 

2.Perfect child, boy3, gets up early, knocks out three subjects before breakfast.

 

3.Chocolate milk and bagels for breakfast - try to ignore how bad this is for my hips - still smiling.

 

4.Middle boy gets up, somewhat shaken that younger sib has turned out lots of work already - poors on the steam - starts making big progress. Announces, "Hey this school year is going to be easy!"

 

5. Oldest boy (second oldest child), wakes up - moans and groans, cries foul of younger sibs being almost done with his work - wonders why I didn't wake him - can't seem to understand that all human beings, mothers included, have a deep sense of self-preservation, and never go with enthusiasm into the Kimodo Dragon's lair

 

6. Watch this Mr. Mopey, mope and mope and mope some more.

 

7. Finish all of the subjects with the other two boys accept Bible Study and History which all three are still doing together. Announce it's time for these subjects. Watch Mr. Mopey snort chocolate milk out nose. Make him clean it up. Listen to the other two snicker about this. Try not to grind teeth, remembering that the dentist says this is very bad but never volunteers to homeschool this boy, which would cause me to stop grinding my teeth in the first place. Sheesh....doctors....illogical!

 

8. Sing some hymns, pray, everyone seems in a better mood. Make it through Bible study and history - minimal problems. Hold out hope that this speaks well for the rest of the day.

 

9. Dismiss other two boys to do chores. DD, known as the brain, walks through - tortures Mr. Mopey by regaling him with how easy his work is and how much harder high school will be, and how he should try memorizing all of the drugs and dosages she has to master, and the wonders of trigonometry, and then tells him he has nice veins (this is what we get for putting her through paramedic school). Reaction bordering on violent from Mr. Mopey.

 

10. Shoosh the brain out of the room before she thinks of something else to say that will not be helpful.

 

11. Get out the math book. Remind myself that this too will pass. Try to visualize this child as the cute little baby he once was.

 

12. Grind through math. Grind through science. Relieved to now send him to his room with Latin, Logic, and English/Writing which he loves.

 

13. Consider nailing his door shut while he's in there. Realize that this never solved anything though a cell in solitary confinement might be an improvement for me.

 

14. Announce that it is chore time. Perfect child, smiles and gets about his business. Middle boy flits around like his brain has gone to Jamaica. Mr. Mopey rolls eyes (consider smacking him on the back of his head until his eyes roll onto the floor - dismiss thought as decidedly unChristlike) but gets his work done in a timely manner. Go back to babysitting brainless until his work gets done.

 

15. Listen to older two complain about youngest one. Remind them, as gently but firmly as possible, that the reason He does not get in trouble, is because he has made the choice to do his work efficiently and cheerfully. Mr. Mopey and Mr. I can't find my head though it is attached to my neck, look at me as though I have completely lost MY MIND!

 

16. Sneak into the kitchen, make a latte, and eat a handful of M & M's.

 

17. Dh, working from home, gets an earful. Listen to him try to make management understand something simple and realize that he is dealing with "the Marx brothers" and I shouldn't complain.

 

18. Wish I had Molly Weasley's wand so that the bathroom would clean itself. Attack mount laundry. Grade assignments.

 

19. Mr. Mopey announces he's bored! "Bored, your are bored! Are you completely out of your ever lovin' mind!" "We've spent how much money on toys, gadgets, games, art supplies....." "How'd you like to hoe the garden with a spoon????"

 

This is our first day. DD, the brain or also unaffectionately referred to by her brothers as "Miss Know it All", drops into the school room regularly, to impart the great and mighty wisdom she has obtained as a homeschool graduate which only adds to her brothers angst or to mine as she announces that one of my bruises could be deep tissue and produce a pulmonary embolism - am I experiencing any trouble breathing... "YEP! I'M PLANNING ON DYING RIGHT HERE, ON THE SPOT, MASSIVE CORNARY! YOU'LL HAVE TO FINISH HOMESCHOOLING THEM!". This insures a prompt exit.

 

Oh well, it will get significantly better once everyone gets back into the routine and she is back in class full time.

 

Faith

[mrscopterdoc]

:lol: oh wait, I meant :grouphug:

 

:D I really love #16

[Jean in Newcastle]

:smilielol5: It sounds like your sense of humor stayed intact or perhaps you found it again.:D

[Country Mouse]

:lol:

 

Thank you for posting this. I can relate.

 

We had a pretty good first day, but I never know what to expect each day. Some days ds is "perfect child," some days he's "Mr. Mopey," and other days he's "I can't find my head even though it's attached to my neck."

[Guest ME-Mommy]

:lol: oh wait, I meant :grouphug:

 

:D I really love #16

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Coffee & chocolate -- that's my Rx for everything!! :)

[MindyD]

Thanks for posting this! Every time I read "Perfect child" I lol'd!

[SproutMamaK]

Where do I sign up for one these so-called "perfect children"? I see he was your fourth.... perhaps that's what I need, a fourth.

 

Kathryn ~ who isn't holding up hope that this logic will convince DH to try for #4 any time soon.

[Entropymama]

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Love #16. I send my kids outside to play every day after lunch. I tell them it's because fresh air and excercise are good for you. It's really so I can eat Oreos without them seeing. :D

[Jen in PA]

Laughed at #18 -- I never thought about Molly Weasley's wand, but I am always saying I sure could use a house elf.:D

[hornblower]

:smilielol5:you're a riot!

[Tree House Academy]

Yeah...why are we still delusional about the "joys" of starting a new school year? Seems we would start to learn our lesson someday, huh? *hugs* Enjoyed the list. You are too funny! :)

[Caraway]

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Love #16. I send my kids outside to play every day after lunch. I tell them it's because fresh air and excercise are good for you. It's really so I can eat Oreos without them seeing. :D

 

:smilielol5:

[Rhea]

I laughed so hard! Then read it out loud to my three and they all laughed too. Thanks much for brightening up our day by sharing yours so humorously.

:grouphug:

Rhea

[KellyinPA]

Sounds like a typical day to me:lol:

[Dawn in OH]

That's great!

[ChristusG]

That was hilarious!! Glad to see you can turn your bad day into humor for others! :lol:

[elise1mds]

Thanks for the giggle! Hope it gets better... though if you're going to keep sharing lists like these, I might change my mind :lol: