Failure to Thrive, Advice, Prayers, good thoughts needed

[JennyB]

My 7 week old is still 3 oz under his birth weight. He is growing lengthwise and his head circumference is growing but he is just not gaining any weight. At our pediatrician appt. on monday she found a heart murmur and we have an appointment with the cardiologist on the 30th to get that checked. After looking online there seem to be hundreds of different things that could be causing this. He is very alert, happy, sleeps well, and moves around often. Before the pediatrician appointment my husband thought that it was all in my head and that I was over reacting. Now that there is something concretely wrong he is concerned also.

 

On top of this my mom isn't speaking to me because the last time we visited we didn't leave the house clean enough (In case your wondering, I moved all the furniture vacuumed under everything, washed and changed all the bedding that we used, cleaned out the fridge, washed and cleaned the bathroom. Still not sure what else that I could have done) The last time that she decided not to talk to me she didn't talk to me or my children for 2 years. It has been 6 mos and my husband and I decided right after it happened that it wasn't worth the stress to deal with her. Before she decided this we would talk at least 1 a week sometimes more but I don't have the energy to deal with someone who just ...decides they don't want to have anything to do with us anymore... I don't know... but now that this is happening with my son I kinda miss her, her advice, her strength, ya know. Thank goodness my inlaws are awesome and are very supportive.

 

Has anyone had any experience with your baby not gaining weight? Any prayers, good thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening. I don't post often but have been a part of this board for a long time and I feel like I "know" ya'll and the more prayers, good thoughts whatever ya'll feel like sending up would help. I know it.

 

Thanks for listening.

[Caitilin]

:grouphug::grouphug:No advice, but love and prayers for you and ds.:grouphug::grouphug:

[MeaganS]

My daughter didn't gain weight either and was failure to thrive for the first few months. She cried all the time, though, and we eventually figured out that it was acid reflux, and she's just fine now. I know how stressful it can be to have a baby not gaining weight like it should.

 

I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know that I understand how scary it is and I will pray for you today. :grouphug:

[Teachin'Mine]

Jenny I'm praying for your little one and your family situation too. If you feel that your mom would be able to give you support during this time, you might want to just give her a call - leave a message or whatever - about what's going on with her grandson. Then it's up to her whether he's more important or some perceived messiness. Praying for a good outcome for all. :grouphug:

[BlessedMom]

:grouphug::grouphug:Big time Hugs and Prayers:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Sorry I have no experience with failure to thrive or heart murmurs.

I am so sorry that your Mom is not speaking to you!

It is always so hard for me to understand why people who should love one another unconditionally make those types of choices??!!

 

Bless you and your precious little one.

[JennyB]

Thanks Caitlin it is appreciated.

 

Meagean, I at first thought it might be acid reflux but he never threw up or spit up. He has started to throw up maybe twice a day but we have had the flu running through the family the last few weeks. Thanks for your thoughts and I am glad that your daughter is better now.

[Jann in TX]

she was eating great (BF) and was a happy baby... but she did not regain the oz lost after birth for several months... even then she did not double her birth weight (9lbs) until she was nearly 2 years old!

 

My dd kept growing--but it did slow down after 4 months... she was a TINY little thing at 1 year! My MIL was a very petite woman--so the Drs thought that dd would be too...

 

My dd did have a slight heart murmur--but nothing was 'wrong' as far as the Drs could tell... I started supplementing with formula at 6 months--hoping the extra calories would help... DD was walking at 7 months (pulling up at 4) so we knew she was using more calories being so active... but the additional calories did not help the FTT situation...

 

When dd started school she was the smallest child in the class. She repeated 1st grade and was STILL the smallest child in the class!

 

Fast forward 14 years---- DD is 5'8" tall and lean--size 2... and has always been a HEALTHY child... she just did not fit on the charts until she was around 14... she grew 6 inches that year! (she started puberty at age 12).

[Classical Country Mama]

I am so sorry for these difficult days. My ds is 12 weeks old, and even though I have a princess who is 5, in many ways it feels like starting over--no sleep, lots of stress, and complete ignorance! I am glad you are getting some help, and am so sorry for the situation with your mother.

 

My ds took several weeks to regain his birth weight; he was 10lbs when he was born, so that is saying something. :) Like a PP, we discovered he has GERD, and once we put him on zantac, his weight started improving by leaps and bounds. He is also sleeping better and has stopped the round-the-clock crying.

 

Best wishes with your sweet little one--hopefully he will start gaining more weight soon. :grouphug:

[KerriF]

You still might want to look into reflux. I had a "silent" refluxer and meds still helped him a bunch. Just a thought.

[JennyB]

Jenny I'm praying for your little one and your family situation too. If you feel that your mom would be able to give you support during this time' date=' you might want to just give her a call - leave a message or whatever - about what's going on with her grandson. Then it's up to her whether he's more important or some perceived messiness. Praying for a good outcome for all. :grouphug:[/quote']

 

I am just a chicken. I talk to my dad about it and he calls but I am a big chicken. I just can't deal with her fake polite voice. You know what I mean? Maybe she wont though, but if she does then I know she is being a witch and it will be almost worse than not taling to her now. I kind of feel that I am sure my dad told her and she should call me. Thanks for your prayers.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:Big time Hugs and Prayers:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Sorry I have no experience with failure to thrive or heart murmurs.

I am so sorry that your Mom is not speaking to you!

It is always so hard for me to understand why people who should love one another unconditionally make those types of choices??!!

 

Bless you and your precious little one.

 

Thanks, I dont understand it either. Thank goodness my inlaws are excellent examples of this principle. I dont understand how she can not want to have any contact with her grandkids. My kids are amazing who wouldn't want to know them. :D My kids haven't done anything to her. Thank you for your blessings.

[Carrie12345]

My anecdote:

 

My last 3 kids were all labeled FTT between 6 and 9 weeks old. I put the older two on supplementary-full formula. I stuck to my guns and continued to ebf the youngest. ALL 3 then proceeded to follow nearly identical growth curves, slowly creeping up to "normal" weight, then turning into giants. That just seems to be the way most of my babies are designed to grow!

 

As far as the murmur, my oldest (the only "non-FTT") had one as an infant. It resolved on its own by his first birthday.

[Jenn in FL]

:grouphug::grouphug:Jenny...

 

I too have been here "forever" (since late 1999 ) and I almost ever post! IRL, I'm a NICU nurse who has opted to stay home with her kiddos. Would you mind sharing how you are feeding him (BF or bottle)? If you are BFing, it could be something as "simple" as doing some non-stop on demand BFing for a short time. I realize that with other children that option is anything but simple, yet medically speaking it is simple. If you are using formula, there are many ways to up the caloric count of formula (without requiring an increase in volume) by "tweaking the mixtures." Your ped would be the one to consult with on that solution. How many wet diapers is the baby having per day? Are they soaked? Or just damp?

 

That being said, my neighbor has a seven month old daughter who was born weighing 6-15 and seven months later just recently hit 11 pounds. The wee little lady is perfectly healthy and otherwise developmentally completely normal--just dinky. :tongue_smilie:

 

Re: the murmur. Many of them resolve or disappear on their own. Try not to stress over that until you have your consult.

 

Try to hang in there!

[Renee in NC]

I had a FTT baby who was less than his birthweight at 2 months. Turns out that because of a much smaller lower jaw, he could not latch and suck hard enough to get hind milk. I was dedicated to breastfeeding at the time, so I would nurse him with a supplementer (made by Medela), pump when he was done, and repeat 2 hours later. I kept it up for several months and then I gave up (went to work and it wasn't possible to keep going.)

 

I had another FTT baby several years later, but it was for a totally different reason - he had issues with gluten. That child was very, very ill and he was hospitalized twice (including tube feedings.) He was breastfed and weaned himself at 11 months - just refused to nurse anymore. He spent almost a year on Pediasure before being able to return to a somewhat normal diet.

 

The last baby I had has the same jaw issue as the first. It was obvious to me as soon as they put him in my arms when he was born. I tried to nurse him, but he had the same latching problem and the same hind milk issue. This time I just put him on formula - with 7 children, homeschooling, 2 with issues, etc. I couldn't do it. Once we got him drinking the bottle (and making the holes in the nipples bigger) he was fine.

 

ETA: Both of my FTT babies were *losing* weight, not just gaining too slowly.

[3and3]

One of my dd had a heart murmer. I was told it is not uncommon and it would proubly resolve itself which it did. They did ultrasounds every couple months and by the time she was 9 mos it was gone.

 

Several of my babies had problems with weight gain. I wouldn't worry about it too much especially if baby is developing normally in every other way. In one of my twins the dr was a little concerned because he was not as active as twin brother, but he is fine now(2yo) We did discover that it was more a personality thing (he's really laid back!)

 

Hang in there waiting is the worst.:glare:

Prayers and :grouphug: for the mom issues. It has to be difficult just try to lean on those you can depend on. The last thing you need right now is someone in your life that will give you added stress. KWIM

[Classical Country Mama]

:grouphug::grouphug:Jenny...

 

I too have been here "forever" (since late 1999 ) and I almost ever post! IRL, I'm a NICU nurse who has opted to stay home with her kiddos. Would you mind sharing how you are feeding him (BF or bottle)? If you are BFing, it could be something as "simple" as doing some non-stop on demand BFing for a short time. I realize that with other children that option is anything but simple, yet medically speaking it is simple.

 

Try to hang in there!

 

:iagree: That's what I did--I ebf, and my docs were pushing me to supplement with formula. However, I was/am blessed with a fabulous lactation consultant, who advised me the same as the PP above. After we started the reflux meds, I spent a full weekend doing NOTHING but breastfeeding, to get the baby back on track and to build up my supply. Not only did my poor, er, girls survive, but it worked. At 12 weeks, ds is now happy and chubby as can be.

[Osmosis Mom]

No advice, but I am thinking of you. Just know that the heart murmur can indeed be nothing.

 

Love from me here.

[juelle]

My oldest was long and skinny with a huge head. 8lbs2oz at birth, 11lbs at 6 months. But I had gall bladder disease, was eating almost no fat and was determined to bf exclusively to 6mos. The ped never freaked out, thankfully, and once ds started eat food (and after I realised he couldn't digest cow's milk well) he came back up on the charts. He's now 6'1" and 165lbs of solid muscle.

 

I do hope you can feed your precious one as much as possible, check out the GERD, check out the heart murmur and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

 

It would be lovely if your mother was helpful and supportive, but it doesn't sound like that's the case. In fact it sounds like she's impossible to please, and that you've knocked yourself out for years trying. I'm so sorry.:sad::sad: Your energy is spread pretty thin, and it all needs to go to your dh and dc right now.

 

Blessings to you and your dear ones.

[Stacia]

:grouphug:

[MyBlueLobsters]

At 8 weeks old, my baby still weighed under his birth weight. He also has/had a murmur. The Dr we saw told us that no matter how much or little a baby eats, never feed them over 30 minutes at a time. Once they hit the 30 minute mark, they are burning more calories than they are taking in, no matter what the source of nutrition (BM or formula) Just a thought. :grouphug: Hope the cardi. appt goes well!

[Renee in NC]

At 8 weeks old, my baby still weighed under his birth weight. He also has/had a murmur. The Dr we saw told us that no matter how much or little a baby eats, never feed them over 30 minutes at a time. Once they hit the 30 minute mark, they are burning more calories than they are taking in, no matter what the source of nutrition (BM or formula) Just a thought. :grouphug: Hope the cardi. appt goes well!

 

That is interesting, because my first FTT baby couldn't eat in under 30 minutes unless we made the hole in the nipple big enough for it to drip into his mouth.

 

With this last baby, I did nurse him for the first month, but he had to work so hard to get more than the initial let-down! I felt so bad for him - he would nurse and nurse and nurse, then be so tired and still hungry.

[sbgrace]

:grouphug:

 

One of my boys was failure to thrive. If you're nursing have you met with a lactation consultant to monitor how much he's taking in? One of the first things the specialists wanted from us was a record of intake to rule that part out. So intake (however it's happening) is important for you to determine if you haven't already. For my son it was a combination of low muscle tone (took a long time to determine the cause for that) and severe GERD. I know it's hard to determine so young but babies with low tone are different to hold than other babies. They just don't "help" with support like a typical tone baby does.

 

My other child had a murmer that was not a big deal (innocent). At his last appointment (six years) he still had it. We did have it checked with an echo at one point. Easy test if the specialist does that test.

 

I'm so sorry about your mother's choices. How sad for everyone.

[JennyB]

she was eating great (BF) and was a happy baby... but she did not regain the oz lost after birth for several months... even then she did not double her birth weight (9lbs) until she was nearly 2 years old!

 

My dd kept growing--but it did slow down after 4 months... she was a TINY little thing at 1 year! My MIL was a very petite woman--so the Drs thought that dd would be too...

 

My dd did have a slight heart murmur--but nothing was 'wrong' as far as the Drs could tell... I started supplementing with formula at 6 months--hoping the extra calories would help... DD was walking at 7 months (pulling up at 4) so we knew she was using more calories being so active... but the additional calories did not help the FTT situation...

 

When dd started school she was the smallest child in the class. She repeated 1st grade and was STILL the smallest child in the class!

 

Fast forward 14 years---- DD is 5'8" tall and lean--size 2... and has always been a HEALTHY child... she just did not fit on the charts until she was around 14... she grew 6 inches that year! (she started puberty at age 12).

 

This gives me so much hope. Thank you for sharing. All of my other kids have been chunks. It is different to have this little guy. OK. He is still 8lbs but he is so little. Thanks for sharing.

 

You still might want to look into reflux. I had a "silent" refluxer and meds still helped him a bunch. Just a thought.

 

I didn't know there was even such a thing as silent reflux. Thanks.

 

I am so sorry for these difficult days. My ds is 12 weeks old, and even though I have a princess who is 5, in many ways it feels like starting over--no sleep, lots of stress, and complete ignorance! I am glad you are getting some help, and am so sorry for the situation with your mother.

 

My ds took several weeks to regain his birth weight; he was 10lbs when he was born, so that is saying something. :) Like a PP, we discovered he has GERD, and once we put him on zantac, his weight started improving by leaps and bounds. He is also sleeping better and has stopped the round-the-clock crying.

 

Best wishes with your sweet little one--hopefully he will start gaining more weight soon. :grouphug:

 

Isn't it the truth about starting over with each baby. After six kids you would think that I would know more. But they are all so different huh. Thanks for thinking of us.

[RebeccaS]

My ds was FTT for a long time. However, we had extenuating medical circumstances that played into that. I won't freak you out with the details-it's not likely that this is relevant to your dc. Over the course of time, it was found that he suffered from dysphagia (difficulty swallowing, in a nutshell) which required therapy and tube feedings to get him on the charts. Even now at going on 6, he is still a little peanut and weighs just 33 pounds fully dressed with running shoes. ;) I hope you find some answers soon! It sure can be stressful. :grouphug:

[JennyB]

My anecdote:

 

My last 3 kids were all labeled FTT between 6 and 9 weeks old. I put the older two on supplementary-full formula. I stuck to my guns and continued to ebf the youngest. ALL 3 then proceeded to follow nearly identical growth curves, slowly creeping up to "normal" weight, then turning into giants. That just seems to be the way most of my babies are designed to grow!

 

As far as the murmur, my oldest (the only "non-FTT") had one as an infant. It resolved on its own by his first birthday.

 

This was my fear about seeing a ped. That she would want me to stop bf or supplement. She was great about it and just told me to keep it up. Your experience was what my "gut" was telling me was the truth. It isn't an issue yet and hopefully will not become one.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:Jenny...

 

I too have been here "forever" (since late 1999 ) and I almost ever post! IRL, I'm a NICU nurse who has opted to stay home with her kiddos. Would you mind sharing how you are feeding him (BF or bottle)? If you are BFing, it could be something as "simple" as doing some non-stop on demand BFing for a short time. I realize that with other children that option is anything but simple, yet medically speaking it is simple. If you are using formula, there are many ways to up the caloric count of formula (without requiring an increase in volume) by "tweaking the mixtures." Your ped would be the one to consult with on that solution. How many wet diapers is the baby having per day? Are they soaked? Or just damp?

 

That being said, my neighbor has a seven month old daughter who was born weighing 6-15 and seven months later just recently hit 11 pounds. The wee little lady is perfectly healthy and otherwise developmentally completely normal--just dinky. :tongue_smilie:

 

Re: the murmur. Many of them resolve or disappear on their own. Try not to stress over that until you have your consult.

 

Try to hang in there!

 

I am entirely breastfeeding. I try to breastfeed on demand but ya know, life happens. I will definatley make a more concerted effort to not put off for just a few minutes while I do something else. I just found my sling this morning so that will make it easier. He is having about 2-3 bowel movements a day. About 5-6 wet diapers.

 

At 8 weeks old, my baby still weighed under his birth weight. He also has/had a murmur. The Dr we saw told us that no matter how much or little a baby eats, never feed them over 30 minutes at a time. Once they hit the 30 minute mark, they are burning more calories than they are taking in, no matter what the source of nutrition (BM or formula) Just a thought. :grouphug: Hope the cardi. appt goes well!

 

This is interesting. I haven't heard this before. I will have to start paying more attention to how long he is nursing.

[MyBlueLobsters]

I should add this....my little one who had this issue also had other health issues (Down syndrome, Cleft palate, and 2 holes in his heart...unrelated to the murmur, and severe silent reflux and apspirating) So it wasn't a FTT ONLY issue. Obviously your little one doesn't have most/any of the above issues! Hope you get answers soon! It's so hard when there is something up with your wee one. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I have a 26lb 3.5yr old diagnosed FTT.....but she also has a metabolic condition of some sort (we're still hunting for the proverbial needle in the haystack). She was born a healthy 8lbs 2oz, and then just never grew. Ironically her baby brother was also born at 8lbs 2oz and grew like a weed for 6 months and then just stopped. He is also now below the 10th percentile for weight.

[Perry]

The Dr we saw told us that no matter how much or little a baby eats, never feed them over 30 minutes at a time. Once they hit the 30 minute mark, they are burning more calories than they are taking in, no matter what the source of nutrition (BM or formula)

 

 

Just wondering if anyone else has heard this... it doesn't make sense to me. What would be different about the second 30 minutes than the first 30 minutes? As long as the milk supply was the same, of course.

 

Maybe I'm dense, but I'm not getting how this would work.

[3and3]

Isn't it the truth about starting over with each baby. After six kids you would think that I would know more. But they are all so different huh. Thanks for thinking of us.

 

 

:iagree:I have 7 dc and they are ALL sooo different even the twins!

 

It sounds like your little one is doing fine as far as bm and wet diapers. Keep your head up. The important thing is you are aware of what is going on with your little one and doing something about it. Since my youngest lost so much weight when he was in hospital it just took him longer to gain it back. I am sure dc will be fine. I will keep you and your family in our prayers. I know how difficult it can be to find time to nurse and care for a large family. :grouphug:

 

Jenny

[JennyB]

:grouphug:

 

One of my boys was failure to thrive. If you're nursing have you met with a lactation consultant to monitor how much he's taking in? One of the first things the specialists wanted from us was a record of intake to rule that part out. So intake (however it's happening) is important for you to determine if you haven't already. For my son it was a combination of low muscle tone (took a long time to determine the cause for that) and severe GERD. I know it's hard to determine so young but babies with low tone are different to hold than other babies. They just don't "help" with support like a typical tone baby does.

 

My other child had a murmer that was not a big deal (innocent). At his last appointment (six years) he still had it. We did have it checked with an echo at one point. Easy test if the specialist does that test.

 

I'm so sorry about your mother's choices. How sad for everyone.

 

I am not sure how to "measure" how much a baby is taking in when I breastfeed. Is it length of time that they nurse? Maybe I should talk to a lactation consultant. I have noticed with this baby that his head flops around a lot. You would think that with baby 6 I would notice whether this was normal but it is all a blur. when he lays in his carseat his head will lay all the way back. Looks very uncomfortable. I don't want to start nitpicking things wrong but I don't know. Thanks for you info.

 

I had a FTT baby who was less than his birthweight at 2 months. Turns out that because of a much smaller lower jaw, he could not latch and suck hard enough to get hind milk. I was dedicated to breastfeeding at the time, so I would nurse him with a supplementer (made by Medela), pump when he was done, and repeat 2 hours later. I kept it up for several months and then I gave up (went to work and it wasn't possible to keep going.)

 

I had another FTT baby several years later, but it was for a totally different reason - he had issues with gluten. That child was very, very ill and he was hospitalized twice (including tube feedings.) He was breastfed and weaned himself at 11 months - just refused to nurse anymore. He spent almost a year on Pediasure before being able to return to a somewhat normal diet.

 

The last baby I had has the same jaw issue as the first. It was obvious to me as soon as they put him in my arms when he was born. I tried to nurse him, but he had the same latching problem and the same hind milk issue. This time I just put him on formula - with 7 children, homeschooling, 2 with issues, etc. I couldn't do it. Once we got him drinking the bottle (and making the holes in the nipples bigger) he was fine.

 

ETA: Both of my FTT babies were *losing* weight, not just gaining too slowly.

 

How did they find out he had issues with gluten? After reading that this and also dairy allergies could be a reason for FTT I considered just trying it out, not having any dairy or gluten and see if it helped. At different times of course. Thanks.

 

One of my dd had a heart murmer. I was told it is not uncommon and it would proubly resolve itself which it did. They did ultrasounds every couple months and by the time she was 9 mos it was gone.

 

Several of my babies had problems with weight gain. I wouldn't worry about it too much especially if baby is developing normally in every other way. In one of my twins the dr was a little concerned because he was not as active as twin brother, but he is fine now(2yo) We did discover that it was more a personality thing (he's really laid back!)

 

Hang in there waiting is the worst.:glare:

Prayers and :grouphug: for the mom issues. It has to be difficult just try to lean on those you can depend on. The last thing you need right now is someone in your life that will give you added stress. KWIM

 

He is developing normally except for that so I am hoping for the best. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers.

:iagree: That's what I did--I ebf, and my docs were pushing me to supplement with formula. However, I was/am blessed with a fabulous lactation consultant, who advised me the same as the PP above. After we started the reflux meds, I spent a full weekend doing NOTHING but breastfeeding, to get the baby back on track and to build up my supply. Not only did my poor, er, girls survive, but it worked. At 12 weeks, ds is now happy and chubby as can be.

 

It took me several readings to see what you meant by this sentence. I looked at your sig to see how old your girls were and why they were affected by this. Can I claim newborn sleep deprivation? :D Thanks for sharing your experience this helps me to be able to stick with my intuition about what's best.

[JennyB]

I just wanted to thank everyone who has commented, shared experiences and prayers. I have often not commented on someone's thread because someone else already said it or I was just going to give :grouphug: and felt dumb. But ya know, I felt all of those hugs. Thank you all. I have always associated FTT with dying so I was a little freaked out. Thank you all for taking the time out of your busy lives to help and comfort me.

 

Thanks again.

[Heather in OK]

I am not sure how to "measure" how much a baby is taking in when I breastfeed.

Get a scale that can measure pounds and ounces, such a postal scale. Weigh him before you nurse and after. You should notice a change in the ounces.

 

I have a friend who's son had a heart issue. I'm sorry..I don't remember what exactly he had other than it was very easily fixed via surgery. After his procedure he was a completely different baby! He started gaining weight, was eating better, and his development was back on track. So while you have received some excellent advice regarding the breastfeeding, do follow up with the cardiologist. Sometimes it can be a simple nursing issue but there are times when a physical issue is interfering with the weight gain.

 

Praying for you and your little one!!

[sbgrace]

I am not sure how to "measure" how much a baby is taking in when I breastfeed. Is it length of time that they nurse? Maybe I should talk to a lactation consultant. I have noticed with this baby that his head flops around a lot. You would think that with baby 6 I would notice whether this was normal but it is all a blur. when he lays in his carseat his head will lay all the way back. Looks very uncomfortable. I don't want to start nitpicking things wrong but I don't know. Thanks for you info.

 

 

 

 

It's easiest (and most accurate) if you enlist the help of a lactation consultant. Your hospital should have one and in major areas you'll have more options than that. But essentially they weigh the baby before and after nursing with a special scale and can determine intake from that. You will get further with figuring out what is wrong if you have the information.

 

I don't know that I would have known my son was low tone except that I had a typical tone baby to also hold. One description of low tone is "like holding a sack of potatoes" and though my son was not to that extent he did feel different. He was slow with head control and other milestones as well.

 

:grouphug: This may be something as simple as intake.