s/o - Birth control "failure"

[akmommy]

I was on the pill and taking it at the same time everyday when my oldest was conceived. Had no intention of getting pregnant. I had had a nasty case of food poisoning though and had been on some heavy duty antibiotics. My guess is that either the antibiotics messed with the effectiveness, or the illness itself did, but I got a beautiful baby girl out of it, so I'm not complaining.

[asta]

Nephew number 2 on dh's side was after a V that had grown back together unbeknownst to bil. Apparently, some of the men in his Sunday School class new he'd had the procedure a few years before and started rumors that sil had an affair because that's the only way she could have been pregnant. The rumor mongering was so bad they had to leave their church. She was so afraid that bil would eventually begin to believe one of these men that she demanded paternity testing to prove her innocence though her hubby didn't ask for that. Apparently, her own mother was talking behind her back. Sigh.....that's why I don't think that anybody should make any judgement calls about whether or not anyone else is using birth control correctly, or whether or not it's effective or for whom it is effective. One does not actually know until it happens to you.

 

 

Faith

 

I simply would have asked for the surgical record to see what kind of procedure was used. It would have saved a lot of heartache.

 

I have actually met couples where the man told the woman he was going to the outpatient clinic to have it done at her insistence, got there, got p!ssed off that "his manhood was being taken away" somehow, and didn't do it. But told her that he did.

 

She found out he didn't have it done when she got pregnant. The response in these cases was "it's not my kid - I had a V - you had an affair". Serious dysfunction going on.

 

 

a

Edited July 17, 2010 by asta

[IsabelC]

Here is a completely unscientific theory I heard somewhere.

 

People get really heavily invested in planning their lives perfectly. They want the perfect education, the perfect partner, the perfect job, the perfect house, and of course the perfect baby born at the Right Time. They agonize over when the Right Time actually is. Some/many people just can't bring themselves to make a positive decision to try for a baby, but at the same time they really want one at some deep heart/soul/subconscious level. So they just sorta kinda get a bit slack about contraception and eventually whoops, a pregnancy 'just happens'.

 

This sounds quite reasonable a hypothesis to me. After all, if it's true that around half of babies were unplanned, it can hardly be true that so many people can't read a leaflet or listen to a doctor's advice and follow it properly. (Although, of course, 'unplanned' can mean lots of different things. Many people say they "weren't trying, but were open to the possibility".)

Edited July 17, 2010 by Hotdrink

[cathmom]

Just out of curiosity, which sexual methods have been proven to cause cancer? There are STD's that can cause cancer, but to my knowledge, there are no sexual positions or methods that cause cancer.

 

 

I didn't word that very well. I read an article a few years back in Reader's Digest about throat cancer. Here is an excerpt:

 

Maura Gillison, MD, a researcher and professor at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, was among the first to study the link between the growth of head and neck cancers among younger nonsmokers and certain types of the sexually transmitted human papillomavirus (HPV). It's the same virus that causes the majority of cervical cancers and warts. The risks are scary because the virus is really common, even in teenagers. Twenty million people in the United States have some form of HPV, and over six million more get it every year. It can be transmitted through oral sex, and both men and women can be infected. Of the more than 35,000 people who will be diagnosed with oral cancer this year, 25 percent of us will connect our diagnosis to HPV infection. As my treatment continues, I'm struck by how nobody seems to know about any of this.

 

 

Entire article here: http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/oral-cancer-caused-by-hpv/article86868.html

 

My point was that these alternatives had been promoted as safer than sex, fun, harmless, no possibility of pregnancy, etc.

[muffinmom]

I didn't word that very well. I read an article a few years back in Reader's Digest about throat cancer. Here is an excerpt:

 

 

 

Entire article here: http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/oral-cancer-caused-by-hpv/article86868.html

 

My point was that these alternatives had been promoted as safer than sex, fun, harmless, no possibility of pregnancy, etc.

 

 

yikes!

[Mejane]

My assumption was that in that thread people were saying the bc failed, since that's what I gathered from the OP of this thread. Perhaps I should have read it first.

However, if someone tells me their birth control failed, rather than that they failed to use it properly, I'm going to take them at their word. I assume most adult women know the difference.

 

I assume people don't always know when they've done something "wrong." Obviously, we are still finding things out as we go along. And yes, I was referring to the posters in this thread who admitted they might have done something to cause their bc to fail. The other thread was decidedly less pro-bc.

[texasmama]

Here is a completely unscientific theory I heard somewhere.

 

People get really heavily invested in planning their lives perfectly. They want the perfect education, the perfect partner, the perfect job, the perfect house, and of course the perfect baby born at the Right Time. They agonize over when the Right Time actually is. Some/many people just can't bring themselves to make a positive decision to try for a baby, but at the same time they really want one at some deep heart/soul/subconscious level. So they just sorta kinda get a bit slack about contraception and eventually whoops, a pregnancy 'just happens'.

 

This sounds quite reasonable a hypothesis to me. After all, if it's true that around half of babies were unplanned, it can hardly be true that so many people can't read a leaflet or listen to a doctor's advice and follow it properly. (Although, of course, 'unplanned' can mean lots of different things. Many people say they "weren't trying, but were open to the possibility".)

 

Both of my "unplanned" pgs were very wanted. With the first, we knew our method was less effective than ones we had used previously. With the other, we were using sloppy bc, which was mostly effective...until it wasn't. When we were for certain DONE, dh had a vasectomy, which I witnessed because I was present during the entire event and took the sample to the lab afterwards. So I was open to another baby both times. I do think the unconscious plays a role...or sometimes the not so unconscious.:001_smile:

[lionfamily1999]

The OP sounds like she's saying she doesn't actually believe that so many posters' bc could have possibly failed. She's saying the numbers don't add up, so the implication is that people are only claiming that their bc failed, when in fact, they simply failed to use it properly. That was my take away from the original post.

 

Oral contraceptives did work for me for 6.5 years. It only takes one failure for people to start suggesting I just didn't use it right. 6.5 years of non-failure would suggest I did know what I was doing.

:iagree: Asta had it well said too, when it works for you it's 100%, when it doesn't work for you...

Hmmm. Well, maybe I should read the other thread, because it sounded to me like people in the other thread were actually saying their bc failed, not that they failed to use it properly. There's a huge difference. I've seen lots of people in this thread say they failed to use it properly. My assumption was that in that thread people were saying the bc failed, since that's what I gathered from the OP of this thread. Perhaps I should have read it first.

However, if someone tells me their birth control failed, rather than that they failed to use it properly, I'm going to take them at their word. I assume most adult women know the difference.

What an interesting concept.... Are you sure you wouldn't want to tar and feather them into saying that bc is 100% and they're fuzzy headed ninny muggins?

[cathmom]

What an interesting concept.... Are you sure you wouldn't want to tar and feather them into saying that bc is 100% and they're fuzzy headed ninny muggins?

 

:lol:

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I didn't word that very well. I read an article a few years back in Reader's Digest about throat cancer. Here is an excerpt:

 

 

 

Entire article here: http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/oral-cancer-caused-by-hpv/article86868.html

 

My point was that these alternatives had been promoted as safer than sex, fun, harmless, no possibility of pregnancy, etc.

 

Well, that's the STD, not the sexual position. This is why condoms are recommended for oral sex. condoms are also recommended for anal sex. Oral sex is "safer" if the concern is pregnancy. Any method where bodily fluids are being exchanged should include a barrier method as a precaution against STDs.

[jewellsmommy]

I have very good *luck* praying for infertile couples. I'll put you on my list.

 

 

 

 

Thank you, that is so sweet! You almost made me cry. :001_smile:

[Mejane]

What an interesting concept.... Are you sure you wouldn't want to tar and feather them into saying that bc is 100% and they're fuzzy headed ninny muggins?

 

Hey, it's a free country.

 

(See, I can be just as snarky as you. ;))

[lionfamily1999]

Why so defensive? If you did everything "right", then you have nothing to explain. Many women here have said they did things unknowingly that may have contributed to their bc failing.

 

Hey, it's a free country.

 

(See, I can be just as snarky as you. ;))

I noticed :p

 

ETA :lol: just to make sure my intent is clear........... and a little bah dum bump chshhhhhhh

Edited July 17, 2010 by lionfamily1999

[Impish]

Wow. I didn't realize women used both the pill and condoms. I always figured the pill replaced the need for a condom.

For myself, I was unmarried, already a single parent of 1, and really didn't want to be the single parent of 2. God obviously had other plans :001_smile:

To add to the convo, I knew one family that had a baby after a tubal ligation, and ANOTHER after the dh had a vasectomy. After that, they kinda gave up, figuring whatever happened, happened :lol: Mom was in her 40s, last baby was born just shy of Dad's 50th.

[stripe]

In reading one of the other threads, I was astounded at the percentage represented by "birth control failure".

 

The math doesn't line up.

Most birth control statistics have typical use failure rates as well as perfect use failure rates. I think many people have trouble doing things like taking a pill (any sort) regularly, and when including things like using other devices in the heat of a moment, I can understand why the rates of proper usage can be low. I did read something interesting in Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) that said "...adolescent women who are not married but are cohabiting experience a failure rate of about 47% during the first year of contraceptive use, while the 12-month failure rate among married women aged 30 and over is only 8%." (JAMA. 1999;282:1405-1407.)