Is it terrible that I don't like to do birthday parties for my dc?

[woolybear]

Ds is turning 10 this year. I have never given him a bday party. Mostly in the past he has been too shy for it anyway and I have always breathed a sigh of relief. Oh....wait a minute. I forgot. I did a party for him when he was three. We had four friends over. Anyway, last year he was ready. I wasn't. He has been to quite a few of his friends parties. One was a sleepover. He has his heart set on a sleepover campout party this year.:eek:

 

I feel like I should just buck up and do a party for him. But not a sleepover. Right???

[Jen in PA]

When I was that age my mother would always give me the option of having a small party with a few friends or having just one good friend spend the whole weekend. I always chose the latter. Could he have a campout weekend with just one friend?

[LisaC]

When I was that age my mother would always give me the option of having a small party with a few friends or having just one good friend spend the whole weekend. I always chose the latter. Could he have a campout weekend with just one friend?

 

:iagree:

That sounds like such a great idea! I have had a few invite-everyone parties, and I felt like we all went into sensory overload. Now, my dc will invite one or two friends for dinner at the restaurant of their chioce and a movie. It saves on party expense, it saves my sanity, but also it seems to make the birthday more special for my dc.

[KidsHappen]

I just posted in the other thread that I detest birthday parties. I can't wait until we are past this stage.

[fairfarmhand]

you are not terrible, I hate HUGE kiddie parties too. I allow my kids to have a friend, or maybe 2 over for a nice party, cake, crafts, dinner, etc. sometimes spend the night, sometimes not.

 

For my 4 yr old we asked a couple families over (dh and my friends with their kids), cooked out and she was thrilled she had such a HUGE party, and so many people came to help her celebrate. :)

[Dandelion]

When I was that age my mother would always give me the option of having a small party with a few friends or having just one good friend spend the whole weekend. I always chose the latter. Could he have a campout weekend with just one friend?

 

I think that's a great suggestion. If he does want to have several friends over, I wouldn't start with a sleepover party. Since you're already not in the "partying mood" (;)) it seems like a sleepover would just add too much stress. Start slow and work your way up from there... :)

[creekmom]

We give our kids the option of a party or $50.00 extra spending $ for their presents. I figure it costs about that to buy food and drinks, party decorations, favor bags, etc. My son is turning 11 this year, and he opted for the cash to spend at the LEGO store. Can't say I blame him!

[woolybear]

Oooh, cash could be a good motivator for him.:) I mentioned today that we might not do a party this year. (this actually after a little *ahem* discussion about chores and his "motivation"! I told him I wasn't motivated to do a birthday party this year. Lol. At any rate, his response was "AGAIN?!!" "All my friends have parties." And it's true. They all do. why? Sigh. Thinking over your ideas. Thanks.

[LibraryLover]

We do family parties. Sibs, grandparents, my sisters & bro. We do them on the exact day of their brithdays. Middle of the week? No problem. The b'day child chooses dinner. Maybe it's chicken soup, maybe it's take- out pizza. ne child likes likes a particular Chinese Buffet (blech! lol) We have cake and ice cream. It's over and done with my 8, at the latest, unless it happens to be a Fri, Sat or holiday...then we might do it in the afternoon and grill outiside for those who have warm weather b'days. It's sweet, intimate and only involves those who care. My parens show up, my sisters, my bro, the end. 100% painless and my kids perfer this. If it's a weekend or holiday, maybe a friend or two of the b'day child might be invited. My youngest child's bf is her cousin, so it all works out perfectly.

Edited May 2, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Mommee & Baba]

Until the year before last I gave my children a HUGE birthday party...invitations, balloon everywhere, tons of cupcake smell and frosting them for hours prior, cleaning the house extra tidy, hanging decorations, getting goody grab bags together, making sure the lawn was mowed and the house didn't smell of dirty shoes or wet dog...:lol: All for children that the kids only saw on Sunday's...and knew just slightly.

 

I got over that quickly as I had more children. By the time our second was born we knew that we didn't want to have big parties. After doing parties for the first 5 years of our oldest and the first 3 years of our middler...dh and I changed the celebration to be more of what it's really about...the blessing of their life. The day they came into OUR lives. So we invite my parents to have some dessert with us on the kids' birthday if they'd be able to attend, otherwise we make no fuss of that. The children get to pick out a cake, cupcakes, dessert...whatever of their choice that mama will "attempt" to make. I LOVE baking but I'm no cake artist..I'm sure by the time they are teenagers I'll have mastered it..:tongue_smilie:. They also get to pick dinner ... within reason. Not cheetos or sundaes..:p

 

I did mention that as they become close bonded with a friend they'd be welcomed to have them over as a sleep over night with ONE friend but not until they are 8-9 years old.

 

So you're not a terrible person, mother or friend at all for not going through all the loops, hoops and chaos stress for your child. Make it THEIR day..not the neighborhoods day or the sunday classes day. :grouphug:

[Pink Fairy]

If you are a terrible person then we can be terrible together because I hate doing birthday parties too. I homeschool and have 5 kids. Sometimes you just have to draw the line, and I draw mine at big parties.

 

Like a PP we do family parties, although as the kids get older I'm letting them have a sleepover with a close friend. We do cake, ice cream, balloons, and decorating, the bday child gets to choose all his/her favorite meals, and of course we have presents. But that's it.

[Peela]

I cant stand b'day parties either. Ugh. I dread them.

This year dd15- soon to be Sweet Sixteen- thinks a formal dinner party with some friends might be good. I can do that. I cook for more than a dozen people twice a week- a dinner party I can do.

We tend to do big parties where they can invite anyone- at a park. Preferably with some shelter nearby in case it rains. Plan some games, take food, sit and chat to mums...go home and no clean up!

But quite often we will do weekend sleepovers inastead, or I will pay for ds and one friend to go to a water theme park nearby for the day- I drop them off and pick them up but thank goodness I no longer need to stay!

As long a we do something out of the ordinary that involves at least one friend, they are happy

[Baseball mom]

Don't do parties here either. Did one for 1st birthday's and oldest got one for his 4th (cause his brother's 1st birthday was coming and he was getting confused about party so we had a small one for ds1)

 

They have vaguely mentioned parties a couple times, but it worked out those times were the same time they wanted something bigger present wise. I told them they had to chose the bigger present they wanted or a party. They chose the present.

 

They also get to pick a place to go out to eat for their birthday.

[NanceXToo]

I like the idea of letting him pick one or two of his closest friends and doing a camping overnight just with them.

 

I actually like doing birthday parties here! When my daughter turned 6, we invited just the girls from her class (she was in public school at the time) to meet us at a local mall at the nail salon, and each girl got her fingernails painted and a design put on, then we moved across the hall to the pizza parlor where relatives met us and we had pizza and cake there.

 

When she turned 7, we invited just the girls from her class and had a tea party at a local bed and breakfast. They all dressed up and were served finger sandwiches and tea for lunch.

 

When she turned 8, we had a "story book" party here at our house (again just the girls) and everyone dressed up as their favorite book character and we did book related games and activities, and I made the cake with a book shaped pan and printed out a "once upon a time there was a girl named Alexa who loved books" page, and a picture of her, and Walmart printed it for me as an edible picture that we could put on the cake (I got the idea online, loved the idea)!

 

When she turned 9 it was her first year not in public school and her dad and I took her for a special overnight at a hotel with a pool (her b-day is in October and she always wanted a pool party but can't have one due to cold weather lol), and then combined a party at a local community building that has table games and sports activities and a rock climbing wall and stuff like that for her and her brother, whose birthday is 5 weeks after hers (he just turned 4) and we invited family and friends from the homeschool group and ordered pizzas.

 

I remember turning 10 was such a huge deal to me when I was a kid (double digits)! but I think at that stage we won't be trying to do group birthdays for her anymore (unless we combine hers and his again) but next year I'd like to take her and one friend to do a zoo overnight, which a local zoo around here offers, I think it would be such a neat idea (and she thinks so too).

 

So I definitely think there are special ways b-days can be celebrated, with a close friend, rather than big group events- but I DO think they should be celebrated in fun ways- maybe because I can't remember ever really having birthday parties when I was a kid and I feel like I missed out lol.