s/o: if you have bought a house, did parents help you?

[2squared]

It's easy to be all "holier than thou" about paying for 100% of one's housing costs without any family assistance when one lives in the backwoods of Canada where prices are low. The median home price in the metro region where I live is $499k. And that's AFTER the big decline. In mid-2007 the median home price was a whopping $668k. :eek:

 

Just because those backwoods prices are low don't mean they are any more attainable. I live in a rural area where an expensive house is $100K. I realize that's pennies for a lot of people, but I also realize that housing is out-of-reach for many, many people who live here. I just ran into an acquaintance at Walmart who bought her first house for $40K at 42yo. She was bubbling over with joy and was truly humbled that they were able to finally own rather than rent. And that $42K house? Well, it's about 100 years old and a definite fixer-upper. Snob that I am, it's not a place I would buy or live in. I am blessed to live in one of the almost-$100K properties. Even though my dh is a lawyer and makes very, very good money where we live, we still qualify for WIC.

[Impish]

I do not know *anyone* who was able to get a mortgage without help in some form or another. I don't know if it's a Canadian thing or if I just don't move in the right circles, but in every situation I am familiar with, all the banks require a co-signer for a first-time mortgage.

Awww, geez, I flippin hope not! I don't know of anyone that would cosign...not because they don't trust us, but we don't have anyone close enough to us, if that makes sense!

BTDT. While it's none of your business how much we paid for the farm, the initial payment was in excess of 6 figures all scrimped and saved by dh and I alone. And, it is all paid off now by us and us alone.

That's where we'll be, when we get there.

[May]

We didn't receive and help from either set of parents and frankly, it never occurred to us to ask.

[DawnM]

Really? Wow. We didn't need any co-signing for our first home.

 

Dawn

 

I do not know *anyone* who was able to get a mortgage without help in some form or another. I don't know if it's a Canadian thing or if I just don't move in the right circles, but in every situation I am familiar with, all the banks require a co-signer for a first-time mortgage.

[momtotkbb]

I voted other -- dh's first house (which became our house when we married) had been one of his parent's homes. His dad sold it to him for what he had in the house --so while dh paid him cash for it, he still got it at a really good price (about $40000 off market value). But, when we bought our first house together --the one we live in now and that I got a say in picking out! --we paid cash without any help from family.

[LauraGB]

Really? Wow. We didn't need any co-signing for our first home.

 

Dawn

 

I think it's a credit thing, or lack there of. At least, in our case it was. We had NO credit to speak of, other than public service and phone bills from rentals - no credit cards or anything else. I think some banks just feel better if they have someone who is already established on the bank note to go after if the main loaner defaults. Doesn't necessarily mean the co-signer makes any payments or anything, they are just there in ink, just in case. (Goodness - I couldn't imagine defaulting on a payment and then having to face my parents or in-laws, too, lol!)

[DawnM]

This is one large reason we moved out of Southern California. We were both working full time and made a very good salary and had a house in a nice area, but we really wanted to homeschool and it would have been possible, but would have been very tight financially and DH was tired of the tiny house with the tiny yard and the commute daily (I didn't mind the commute as much as he did.)

 

So, we made a choice to move away. It was very hard to move for me.

 

Dawn

 

No, actually I don't. We have paid back every penny my parents loaned to us. There is absolutely no more shame in borrowing from my folks than in borrowing from the bank. And the portion of our down portion that we saved all by ourselves is likely more than the entire purchase price of many of the posters who feel so smug (even if it was only 15% of our home's cost). How many of those who did it all by themselves had to come up with a down payment well over 6 figures? Anyone?

[DawnM]

Well, unfortunately, I know someone in this very situation. The student loan is something like 60K and the child stopped paying and the grandmother is stuck with the bill.

 

I don't believe in co-signing for anyone unless you are fully agreeing that you will pay the note in FULL if the person defaults. It happens. Anything can happen.

 

Dawn

 

I think it's a credit thing, or lack there of. At least, in our case it was. We had NO credit to speak of, other than public service and phone bills from rentals - no credit cards or anything else. I think some banks just feel better if they have someone who is already established on the bank note to go after if the main loaner defaults. Doesn't necessarily mean the co-signer makes any payments or anything, they are just there in ink, just in case. (Goodness - I couldn't imagine defaulting on a payment and then having to face my parents or in-laws, too, lol!)

[Kari C in SC]

I am the "other". My parents didn't give or loan us money. They did buy a house that had an in-law apartment when we first got married. They rented to us for the bargain price of $100. We lived there while we went to college, saved for a down payment, etc. 10 years later, we bought my parents house from them. I have no idea what we would have done without their help. It was just what we needed and I will be forever grateful to them for it.

[DawnM]

We actually looked at a house recently that had an apartment in the basement AND room above the detached garage to make a 2nd apartment. I thought it would be a great place for the kids to live IF they needed it in the future (ie: living at home for college, loss of job, etc...) I also liked the basement one because it was attached and could be used as part of the house if noone were living there.

 

Dawn

 

 

I am the "other". My parents didn't give or loan us money. They did buy a house that had an in-law apartment when we first got married. They rented to us for the bargain price of $100. We lived there while we went to college, saved for a down payment, etc. 10 years later, we bought my parents house from them. I have no idea what we would have done without their help. It was just what we needed and I will be forever grateful to them for it.

[In the Rain]

We didn't have help from parents, but we did use a VA loan.

[Liza Q]

My MIL gave us $5,000. towards our down payment but it was not really a gift - we were buying the apartment so that we would have room for her to live with us. If she had not needed to live with us we would have bought a smaller place and would not have needed the money. At that time she had more in savings but we had much more income.

 

She lived with us for 9 years and we all thought it was fair that she would contribute in that way. She did not pay us rent while she was here, only a little money towards food/electric bill (she ran the TV and lights 24/7 so our bill was noticeably larger!!) and it worked well for all of us financially.

[Audrey]

 

That's where we'll be, when we get there.

 

 

You can do it! :cheers2: It's hard, but keep working at it anyway, no matter what people may say about it.

[Audrey]

Audrey, you are an amazing woman. You bought a farm without any help, paid it off, and yet are humble enough to be understanding of others who may not be as strong as yourself.

 

Would you consider moving back to America and running for president in 2016?

 

 

Only if I get to pick my own harem, um... I mean secret service men. :D

[LisaKinVA]

I'm not sure what the future holds yet... still have my couple of weeks to find out. However, these are our options.

 

1. Be transferred to Italy, put our lot up for sale and see what the next five years brings -- as we may not move back to the Stafford area. I keep hoping for HOUSTON! LOL (long story).

 

2. DH gets local promotion, we ask my dad to move in with us, fix up his place to sell... and dad lives with us and assists with a declining rent for as long as he wishes, enabling dad to get out of debt 7 years early, and save like the tightwad he is (and he is... the dumpster-diving, weeds are the only grass I mow, I will wear this t-shirt until it falls off my body, who cares that it's see-through, and so it tastes a little moldy, but so-what? kind of tight-wad). He's been wanting to down-size, and this would allow him to save roughly 50,000 year 1, growing to $70,000 year 5, until he retires (who knows when that will be... but at least if he decides to "go" anywhere to retire he'd have cash-money to buy outright, or he may decide to stay with us...although I think I'd pay for someone to clean his apt...even if it was one of my kids... as "he didn't sign on for vacuuming and dusting."

 

So in our case, we have never had any "huge" assistance in buying a house, but in case #2, dad moving in with us would be a help (in more ways than one).

[HRAAB]

Audrey, you are an amazing woman. You bought a farm without any help, paid it off, and yet are humble enough to be understanding of others who may not be as strong as yourself.

 

Would you consider moving back to America and running for president in 2016?

 

She's got my vote!

[SproutMamaK]

We bought our home ourselves (including a sizeable downpayment). However, our home was VERY much a fixer-upper, and DHs parents helped us get the rental portion of the home renovated (it's a duplex), to the tune of about $5K and a lot of labour. Before they gave us the money, they asked if we'd prefer to have 5K for the renovations and their help with the work, or 5K for our wedding and help with the planning of it. We would have been fine without it either way, but it was nice to be able to start renting out the apartment sooner rather than later. My father helped with the labour of renovations, but not financially - they gave a small amount towards the wedding instead (and considering their financial state, I didn't want them to do even that).