What do you do when someone calls your friend's denomination a cult?

[Hikin' Mama]

My husband was talking to a family member, who told him that she thinks the denomination my good friend belongs to is a cult. Now, I don't agree with all of her doctrine, nor she with mine, but I don't think that warrants calling her denomination a cult. In case this comes up again, and I am there, how should I most graciously defend my friend? Or should I keep my mouth shut?

 

Thank you for your advice!

[Pamela H in Texas]

are you Christian? Technically, a cult is following a man. Jesus was a man :) This tends to disarm people :) Though I don't think I'd use it if I weren't Christian...

 

Another answer: I will not entertain this discussion (then pass the bean dip).

[Parrothead]

It would depend on if my friend is in a cult or not. If she is, I'd do what I could to help her.

 

If it is someone in my church (Catholic) calling my Baptist friend's church a cult, I'd have to call him/her on it. In the same way if my Presbyterian friend says my Pentecostal friend is in a cult I'd have to say something

 

Probably not graciously since I'm not made that way.

[Mrs Mungo]

It would depend on if my friend is in a cult or not. If she is, I'd do what I could to help her.

 

:iagree:

 

 

There are certain denominations (LDS, JW) that other denominations consider to be cults. Whether or not I called someone on it would probably depend upon the circumstances. I would probably just say something like "oh, I wouldn't go so far as to call it a cult..." and continue the conversation.

[Ritsumei]

There are certain denominations (LDS, JW) that other denominations consider to be cults. Whether or not I called someone on it would probably depend upon the circumstances. I would probably just say something like "oh, I wouldn't go so far as to call it a cult..." and continue the conversation.

 

:iagree:Being LDS, and always feeling a little hurt when someone says I'm a cult member/non-Christian, I know that I'd appreciate it if my friend said something like this and then I'd definitely suggest some bean dip, as those conversations often have high potential for getting ugly if you're not careful!

[johnandtinagilbert]

When people say something of this nature, I prefer to say, "What do you mean by *cult* (or other word).?"

 

If what she says is a bit too far, then say what Mungo said, "I think that's a bit far..." pass the bean dip.

[LittleIzumi]

:iagree:Being LDS, and always feeling a little hurt when someone says I'm a cult member/non-Christian, I know that I'd appreciate it if my friend said something like this and then I'd definitely suggest some bean dip, as those conversations often have high potential for getting ugly if you're not careful!

 

Exactly.

[Hikin' Mama]

to Christian denominations; we all believe Jesus is the son of God and savior of our souls. The family member belongs to a VERY conservative (very legalistic, imo) denomination. I'm really irritated by this, because the person accused of being in a cult is a very good friend of mine, and the family member's opinion wasn't asked for AT ALL. But I want to be kind in my response, if she brings it up again. I do like asking what she means by cult, and then giving Mrs. Mungo's response.

 

Thank you, Hive.

[Ravin]

Whether a religious group is a cult in the sense of a 'coercive or controlling religous group' or not has nothing to do with their doctrine and everything to do with presence of coercive behavior--cutting them off from non-group friends and family, cutting them off from any kind of social contact with the group if they choose to leave it, taking an unhealthy amount of their time and money, training them to think that that group (not a set of beliefs, per se, but the actual group itself or its leader) is their only hope of salvation, etc.

 

Cults can be Mainstream, Evangelical, or Fundamentalist Christian in doctrine. You don't have to be a heretical sect (i.e., LDS, JW) to be a cult.

 

Also, in cultural anthropology a cult is a group with a particular set of religious practices, which may be only a subset or component of a person's or culture's overall religious practices or beliefs, and is without negative connotation.

[Laurie4b]

to Christian denominations; we all believe Jesus is the son of God and savior of our souls. The family member belongs to a VERY conservative (very legalistic' date=' imo) denomination. I'm really irritated by this, because the person accused of being in a cult is a very good friend of mine, and the family member's opinion wasn't asked for AT ALL. But I want to be kind in my response, if she brings it up again. I do like asking what she means by cult, and then giving Mrs. Mungo's response.

 

Thank you, Hive.[/quote']

 

I think that asking the definition is a good idea. I've seen and heard the word cult used two different ways: 1) to indicate a deviation from orthodox creeds or 2) to indicate a level of control that the religious body has over their followers. These two things can exist separately or together.

[mommaduck]

I think that asking the definition is a good idea. I've seen and heard the word cult used two different ways: 1) to indicate a deviation from orthodox creeds or 2) to indicate a level of control that the religious body has over their followers. These two things can exist separately or together.

 

:iagree:

 

I've used it in the manner of #2 (which sometimes calls for a natural inclusion of #1). There are groups that are "socially cultic". Sometimes it's worth a discussion for further understanding, even if you don't agree.

[Sonshine]

I have some friends that used to follow some very conservative, could defined as legalistic, teachings. They quit when it affected one of their children directly in a negative way. However their son likes to embarrass his parents by saying in front of other people "remember when we were in that cult".

[dangermom]

I think that asking the definition is a good idea. I've seen and heard the word cult used two different ways: 1) to indicate a deviation from orthodox creeds or 2) to indicate a level of control that the religious body has over their followers. These two things can exist separately or together.

I think you forgot 3) a group I don't like. Which isn't a good definition, but one that many people use.

[Peela]

I wouldn't do anything about what someone else says. Who cares what other people say? You dont have to agree with it but they are welcome to their opinions. Dh and I have been involved in what many people called a cult...we didnt give a hoot what anyone thought and we came through unscathed. There are cults and there ar cults- is your friend in any imminent danger? If not, no need to be concerned.

Dh calls the Catholic Church that he grew up in, a dangerous cult.

 

I just found this interesting article, which I like:

 

http://www.essortment.com/all/whatisdefiniti_rjli.htm

What is the definition of a cult?

 

People tend to give the label cult to any group they don't understand. But what exactly is a true cult

 

 

 

 

 

 

In our modern world of the new millennium, the word "cult" has become largely overused and is now a catch-all for any group, religion or lifestyle which someone doesn't understand, or with which they happen to disagree. This is a dangerous trend, as many of the organizations labeled a cult by dissidents are truly legitimate groups. Once the taint of the term "cult" is applied to a particular group, it is often difficult to change that image to the public.

 

To avoid careless labeling which could be harmful to a group and its adherents, it is important to know just exactly what a cult is, and how it is defined. A cult, by modern standards, is any group that incorporates mind control to deceive, influence and govern its followers. Although most people think of cults as being religious, they can also be found in political, athletic, philosophical, racial or psychotherapeutic arenas.

 

 

The mind control, or brainwashing, exerted by cults often take the form of at least several of the following elements:

A totalitarian control over the lifestyle and time of its members - Many cults tend to dictate exactly what its followers should read, eat, how and with whom they should spend their time, and even what they should do in off hours. This totalitarian control is necessary for the leaders to indoctrinate the followers in everything they do, and is also an attempt to separate them from anything not associated with the cult. This is why cults often live together in groups.

 

A charismatic, self-appointed leader with complete authority - Cult members are taught not to question the teachings, practices, or ideas of the leader. Many cult leaders truly are charismatic people, and are able to influence people to believe them. It is common that a cult member is not told everything up front when joining the group, but that they are taught increasingly controlling ideas and teachings as they go. In the case of some of the more well-publicized cults that have come and gone, it is also common that the leader's ideas and demands evolve over time, becoming increasingly controlling and restrictive. One very clear identifying element dealing with the leader of a cult is that the leader will always focus the attention and veneration of the members upon himself or herself. At the heart of a cult usually lies a very self-centered and self-seeking person.

 

A focus on withholding truth from non-members - Many cults teach their followers to be completely open and truthful within the group, while at the same time they are encouraged to be secretive and evasive when questioned by people outside of the group. This is another form of mind control-instilling guilt in the members if they hold anything back within the group. The members are taught that outsiders wouldn't understand or that they would only make fun of the ideas and practices and requirements for living within the group. Only specially-commissioned members are appointed to recruit members from outside. New members are usually encouraged to keep silent or even lie, especially to their families and close friends.

 

The three elements listed above are very successful ways to create a group mentality, an us-against-them way of looking at things. This is essential for any cult that wants to keep its members. The more afraid of the outside world the members become, the more strongly and faithfully they will keep within the safe fold of the cult.

[Miss Sherry]

My husband was talking to a family member' date=' who told him that she thinks the denomination my good friend belongs to is a cult. Now, I don't agree with all of her doctrine, nor she with mine, but I don't think that warrants calling her denomination a cult. In case this comes up again, and I am there, how should I most graciously defend my friend? Or should I keep my mouth shut?

 

Thank you for your advice![/quote']

I could be wrong, but I see no reason to "defend your friend". It doesn't sound like your friend is in question, but the beliefs of her denomination is what is being questioned. This seems to be a concern over religious or biblical beliefs, not over the integrity of friends.

 

Do you personally think that there is such a thing as a cult,and if so, would it bother you if your friend were in one ? For a christian who believes that there is such a thing as a cult, what is at stake is a persons eternal salvation. Wouldn't it be strange for a christian NOT to be concerned about another person's eternal salvation (if that is what is bothering your friend).

I don't know what religion you are referring to, so I don't know whether it is classified as a cult or not. I do know that there are several religions that call themselves christians, that are not accepted by mainstream christianity as christian because their doctrine simply does not line up with accepted Bible doctrine on essential teachings such as who Christ is.

Why don't you just ask your friend if she can tell you the specific reasons of why she is calling a particular church a cult ? If you really do not want to know, then just say you don't want to discuss it. But I do believe there is such a thing as a cult, but I also realize it is not always appropriate or advantageous to discuss it.