Homeschooling and dealing with mom being the one who is ill

[TracyR]

I'd thought I'd ask a quick question. What would you do if YOU were the person who is ill and your homeschooling?

 

I have been having some major endocrine problems lately. I have hypothyroidism and was just recently diagnosed with a small goiter.

Since January I've been having a plethora of symptoms that I was told wasn't realated to my thyroid. But I'm most sure that its related to my endocrine system in some fashion. I've dealt with everything from headaches, to high blood pressure , fatigue, waking in the middle of the night with a pounding heart and having difficulty going back to sleep. Everyonce in a while I have a 'good' day where I feel almost like my old self but these days have been few and far between anymore. Most days are bad days for me. I'm waiting to get in to see an endocrinologist so hopefully we can figure out what is going on with me.

In the meantime:

We've been homeschooling for a long time now and I have always enjoyed it and I can't imagine my life any other way. I kept my children home because the school choice we have is absolutely awful and in no shape or form can we afford private school. My youngest can't even go to preschool due to her own health, and by her own sisters staying home it cuts down on germs.

 

Anyways the days of doing school have been rough to say the least. We are doing cyberschool and its becoming very tiresome for me to keep up with. I'd love to drop it but I don't have the money for the curriculum I would like to get ( CLE) and I don't have time to put things together right now due to the unpredictability of my 'illness' at this time.

 

So if you were in my shoes what would you do?

[Pamela H in Texas]

Tracy,

 

There are many of us dealing with chronic illnesses and disabilities. Sometimes using a program is helpful but sometimes it is part of the problem. You really have to decide the best situation for your family. It may be putting things together, using free/cheap materials, or continuing with the cyber school. Some have even put children in school and had it work out well.

 

Of course, all of us have money issues to consider. Can we afford what we want? Or do we need to settle for somethign else? Is that somethign else the free cyberschool or different materials we can get cheap or free?

 

Anyway, I just want to let you know you aren't alone.

[Hathersage]

Just wanted to let you know your not alone. I'm dealing with health issues of my own right now, and we are just starting 1st grade. Seems like an uphill battle to me. Sorry I can't offer any advice, as I don't know know what I'll be doing myself.

[HSMom2One]

Hey Tracy - Sorry to read of your illness and the challenges you're faced with. I was just wondering about a few things...

 

For one, have you received any sort of prognosis at all from your doctor? Is this going to be long-term do you think?

 

What sort of hours does your husband work? Is there any chance he could temporarily put in some teaching time, even in the evening? If not, do you have anyone that could give you some support for awhile? (A sis, friend, mom?)

 

I guess I'd suggest that on rough days I might teach from the couch and ask the older children to help with some specific tasks with the younger ones. What if you called the family together for a meeting to discuss ways that everyone can help Mom during this difficult time? I bet your family would rally around you and do everything possible to keep school going.

 

This is life, and life skills are just as important for children to learn as any of the other subjects we're teaching them.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[TracyR]

Well I do enjoy the curriculum from the cyberschool. Which is K12. But the demands for me seem to be a bit much. Its required we do 5hrs of work a day and latley I'm lucky if I can do reading and math with my 1st grader and maybe some reading and math with my 4th grader and call it a day. I actually find myself "fudging" the hours and clicking things saying they are done when they aren't to get those 5hrs in a day. Plus they have classes for Scantron testing for the state testing , and my 4th grader has special reading classes ( not by my choice but by the schools) and my 1st grader who was and is doing well to me is now being put into special math and reading classes to "help" things along. Again I have no choice in the matter. I've told theri teachers I'm not well right now and they are sympathetic but there isn't anything they can do about the schools requirements.

 

I'm sure I'll get things squared away with that. But I'm glad to see that there are others here who are dealing with chronic illness and still homeschool. It give me hope. Like I said I can't imagine it any other way. I love having my girls home. They help keep my mind off of feeling ill at times. I feel like if they were gone I would focus way to much on it.

[StephanieZ]

What a tough situation! :grouphug:

 

I don't know what I'd do, but I'd consider. . .

 

+ how lengthy the illness is. If it is just a few months, I'd just slow down/adjust/drop non essentials and catch up later.

 

If it's a long term illness. . . then I guess I'd have to consider alternatives. . .

 

+ hiring or otherwise arranging a "substitute teacher" or helper. You could hire someone a couple partial days a week to "do school" for you. Or, your dh could step up to help more. Or, you could beg a friend or other family member to help in some significant way. (Perhaps a hs'ing mom/friend would be willing to take over one or more dc for certain subjects if she could combine your dc with hers?

 

+ changing to curricula that required less input from me. (online, tutors, dvd based, co-ops, etc.)

 

+ pt or ft public school enrollment. pt might work well if that is an option for you.

 

I was faced with a similar decision abt 5 years ago when my dh was a new business owner and the business required my FT help to succeed. I ended up hiring a *lot* of household help so I could avoid sending the kids to school. It was a huge financial sacrifice, but it was important to us and we managed it. Over time, I was able to reduce my work hours and reduce my household help hours. At one point I had abt 50 hrs/wk of household help (it took two helpers at the same time to replace me -- one to school the older kids and one to corral my very demanding toddler). . . but now I'm down to 20-24 hrs/wk and in a few months it'll be down to 12 hrs/wk. . . which should work just fine for us as I am working much less now and my kids aren't as needy.

 

Only you can know what is right for your family. . .

 

But, for me, I'd probably think of it as:

 

If this is long-term (>9 mos or so), then outsourcing school is probably the only option I could accept. . . so maybe consider school options for next year if your issues aren't under control by summer. . . (I wouldn't feel good about hs'ing if I felt like I couldn't do a great job. . . and I'd want to protect my own health so I could be there as a great MOM even if I couldn't be a great educator. . . If I could rest/deal with medical/cleaning/cooking/shopping during the day while the kids were in school, I'd hope I could be an involved, loving, participatory mom after-school and on holidays/weekends.

 

OR

 

If this is a short-term problem, then a) slacking off of school isn't going to kill anyone. focus on the essentials (math, reading, writing) and b) dig into any financial resources you have (family? retirement? etc.) to make do until the storm passes. Just like you'd dig into whatever $$ you could if one of your kids (God forbid) was ill and required expensive travel/treatment/etc. . . you can access those same resources now to help you through your own medical crisis.

[TracyR]

Lucinda. I'm not sure. as we aren't sure the cause of my problems at the moment. The Hypothyroidism is for life though unfortunately. My ENT has offered to take my thyroid out but he doesn't feel my symptoms are related to the goiter and is giving me a chance to see an Endocrinologist to see if we can figure out what is going on. This actually just started in January so this is new and not at all fun in any which way.

Its going to be a wait to see the endo though because its a specialist and our insurance too.

 

I am just going to keep on moving on. Those are great ideas. School from the couch. I try to get my two older ones to work together and that only works for so long before they start bickering with each other. LOL. But this is a good time to work on character skills.

 

As for hubby , well he helps from time to time but his patience is quite limited. He is more of a principal here at home rather than teacher. He will talk about history with my girls but that is about his interest in teaching the kids. LOL, My mother in law has helped a few times while I went to doctor appointments but her time is limited as she is a nurse and she also cares for her husband who is sick with COPD. So there is only so much to ask of her. My family doesn't live close by and they really don't come out to see us. My mother passed away 15 yrs ago and I know she would be the one here helping me right now if she were here.

 

I'm sure we can come up with something creative. I'm hoping and praying this is something my doctors can figure and and won't at all be temporary. Because my good days are when I feel just okay and almost like my old self. I may get one or two of those days in a month. But when I have my bad days those bad days are bad. Sigh. I guess we'll just be doing lost of school from the couch and bed this year. I'm hoping I can just finish out the year with the cyber, and then drop it after this school year is over and go back to just regular old fashioned homeschooling.

[Margo out of lurking]

So if you were in my shoes what would you do?

 

Based on what I've heard others say, I would say you are not alone in marking off your hours.

 

I'd consider having my 6yo drop out of the school. She can do basic seatwork (reading, math, handwriting practice), creative play time and listen to read alouds. I do not know the ins and outs of your charter school, but I would also consider having one of my older children drop out--and then having that child schooling along unofficially with the one still enrolled so that they are together. Like I said, I don't know if that's feasible, but it might be worth thinking about. I realize you might be short on worksheets, testing at the computer, etc., but it might be a compromise to ease up on your time requirements, and also keep you from having to start any new curriculum at this point in your school year (which is a cost issue right now anyway).

 

I know it's hard since you are the one that's sick, but I would look at this as an opportunity for your family to draw closer together. Homeschooling is not purely about the academics, it is also about the little people you are raising, and your children can be encouraged and welcomed to not only help you out, but to help each other.

 

God has a plan for you, for your children, and for your homeschool. Lean on Him, let Him be your rock, let Him show you the way through this. He won't let you down, Tracy. I'm praying for you right now.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I like the idea of a substitute. Could you find a homeschool teen or one that recently graduated to help? Maybe barter if money is an issue but a teen might be willing to do it pretty cheaply. Then you're still in charge, but getting a bit of help outside the time you can devote to their schooling right now.

[Mesa]

I have chronic health problems too.

For me my answer has been to homeschool year round and to never count out weekends and evenings if needed. My kids understand, they dont like it, but they do it they have to.

I'm now considering schooling weekends on a permanent basis, so my hubby can help. Then this will give me the rest of the week to get the remaining 2-3 school days finished up.

I'm also going to reevaluate my curriculum choices as we finish up each subject. I'll keep what really works for my kids and drop anything that is too time intensive or that just isnt getting done.

Good luck. I hope you start feeling better soon.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have chronic health problems too.

For me my answer has been to homeschool year round and to never count out weekends and evenings if needed. My kids understand, they dont like it, but they do it they have to.

I'm now considering schooling weekends on a permanent basis, so my hubby can help. Then this will give me the rest of the week to get the remaining 2-3 school days finished up.

I'm also going to reevaluate my curriculum choices as we finish up each subject. I'll keep what really works for my kids and drop anything that is too time intensive or that just isnt getting done.

Good luck. I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

We school year around too. We don't do all weekends but we do some. We often school on holidays too. One Thanksgiving we had school in the morning and then went to Grandma's in the afternoon! The way I got my kids to stop complaining was to explain that learning was just part of our day. We eat a bit (or a lot!) everyday, we exercise a bit everyday, we play a bit everyday and we learn a bit everyday.

[TravelingChris]

HI Tracy, I have a very long experience with this since I have been homeschooling since 1994 pt and 1995 full time along with having several chronic illnesses for that entire time.

 

First of all, I am very happy you are seeing an endocrinologist since a goiter definitely has to do with the thyroid. Could be another issue with the thyroid but it needs to be addressed. Once you get proper treatment, you may end up feeling much better.

 

NOw about the cyberschool- iot sound like its way to much for you and probably for the kids too. I would definitely pull the youngers out and maybe even the older. A first grader needs reading, math and handwriting. You don't need a curriculum. Give math problems on your own or print some from the internet. Read library books together. Have the child copy easy sentences to practice handwriting and proper sentence formation.The child can listen to the the older children's history and science. Fourth grader needs a bit more but it doesn't have to be very expensive. Again the library can meet the reading, history, geography, and science needs. Math can be a relatively cheap workbook. Writing and English can be done with internet assistance. Their are plenty of grammar worksheets out there and depending on the level of writing your child needs, they could be either doing narrations from their reading or writing paragraphs about their reading. I would not continue doing a very rigid stressful program where you have authorities breathing down your neck. Gather the children around you, get a book tape from the library, and listen to a interesting children's classic together. The school work for them does not need to take five hours particularly for a first and fourth grader.

[Mom0012]

Tracy -

 

I'm going through some very similar things. I was diagnosed with chronic lyme 2 years ago and then was diagnosed as hypothyroid a couple of weeks ago. When I first got the hypothyroid diagnosis, I really didn't feel it made sense because most of those symptoms didn't fit me.

 

Then, the endocrinologist said the hypothyroid was caused by Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (which is the most common cause of hypothyroidism). When I looked that up on the internet, bells started going off and lots of my symptoms began to make sense. I've been on thyroid meds for about a week and my doctor had also added in a low dose of a beta blocker (my heart rate was always high and I was often in a state of anxiety) and this has been an absolute Godsend for me. For the first time in years, I'm not in a state of high anxiety. I am very hopeful for the first time in a long time.

 

I will say that making sure I eat protein at every meal, cutting out sugar and caffeine and exercising regularly have been some of the main things that have kept me from going off the edge over the last few years. I am a different person when I am careful with the carbs.

 

Homeschooling has been difficult when I have been so anxious I could hardly breathe about 20 days of the month. I really had to alter the way I did school with the kids because I was not capable of working with them for long periods of time. I started homeschooling with very teacher-intensive programs and have moved more and more to things they can do mostly independently after a little instruction from me. That was a revolutionary change for us. I really think that now that I have this diagnosis things will be very different. I hope that it works the same for you.

 

Lisa

[TracyR]

Everyone thanks so much for the advice. I am going to talk with my husband and see if I can just drop the cyberschooling. I just need to reduce the stress. The cyberschool we are with is great but its just been to much for me right now. I just feel that we need to do less right now.

 

Lisa, amazingly enough I was tested for Hashimotos but my tests came out negative for that. So I'm not sure. I was told by a person that those tests can produce false negatives though.

I've been trying just about everything under the son. I've been on Synthroid for almost 7yrs and have always been on the same dose. I exercise at the Y ( my zoning out time), I eat well. Very little to no sugar at all ( sometimes I nibble on a little chocolate but that's about it anymore and not all of the time). Very little 'bad' carbs. Mostly good carbs and good fats ( avacado, olive oil etc). I have lost 12 lbs amazingly enough.

 

I just have some very strange symptoms that is baffeling my primary doc. It almost feels like anxiety but not at the same time. I am just going to hold this in the hands of God and know that we will get this figured out eventually. Its going to be a while before I see the endocrinologist though. But I think my primary doctor is doing all she can to make me comfortable until I can get in to see one.

I just hope that eventually everything will work out for me soon because I would love to get to feeling my old self again. I really do. I miss going out and doing the things that I used to with my girls. That's what made me so very happy.

[mom2abcd]

My first thought was ACE or CLE, but if you can't afford that, I would school with a plan like the Robinson Curriculum method. I would NOT buy that or use the books, but go with the philosophies...

 

Reading, writing, and math every day... We would throw in Bible, too. RC promotes daily vocabulary work, too, but I wouldn't worry about that.

 

Here is what they recommend:

Math 1 hour daily

Reading 2+ hours daily

Write about what you read

Study your vocabulary

 

I would do one math lesson or maybe two at different times each day. Reading should include books related to history and science.

 

You will be amazed at how much they can learn just by reading wholesome books.

 

Here are some book lists:

Charlotte Mason Book Finder

http://apps.simplycharlottemason.com/

 

http://www.classical-homeschooling.org/celoop/1000.html

 

Here's a link to Egermeier's Story Bible. It would be a fantastic way to start your day and cover Bible for all your crew at this point.

http://www.amazon.com/Egermeiers-Bible-Story-Elsie-Egermeier/dp/0871620065

 

God bless! There are many of us out here with chronic health issues and our kids are learning and growing into wonderful young people!

[Tree House Academy]

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am dealing with some issues of my own and I admit, it was nice to read (in this thread) that I am not alone either. I feel God called me to do this and He will see me through. It doesn't remove the fear and the worry. To be honest, school helps take my mind off things...it helps me feel "normal" again...if only for a few hours a day.

 

Chin up and hang in there. I am only 30...so I know what you mean (in your blog) about being young and really wishing this would all just go away!!

[KristenS]

((Hugs))

 

For me, I'd have to ditch the cyberschool. I have health issues (a severe anxiety disorder that leads to all sorts of other health problems ... major panic attacks, insomnia, nausea, etc) and yes, it does impact how we school. We do light unit studies (Five in a Row) which are great for the flexibility, and we've been adding slowly one other subject a year. We started with the FIAR and math and phonics, later adding handwriting and science. I hope to add in more history and maybe Latin next year (one of those easy gentle ones). But if not ... we'll get most of what we need through our units over time.

 

Mine are in 2nd and preschool, so we're still in the early years, which helps a lot. Our cover school is very flexible and our state laws are gentle, and that helps too.

 

Some days we set aside science experiments for Dad to lead when he gets home, or I lay on the sofa with the kids and their workbooks at my feet, or we'll substitute videos (Magic School Bus and so on) for something. Other days we can zip through our studies and go off on field trips. It's hard to tell in advance, and it's definitely day-to-day.

 

Anyway, you're certainly not alone! I do hope you find a set-up that works for you during this difficult time.

[prairiegirl]

Tracey, my illness wasn't long-term (cancer and it is all gone now) but I can tell you how we handled things. We just did the basics when I felt up to it and we did lots and lots of reading. We took advantage of all of my good days even if they were on the weekends, we did school any day, any time, whenever it worked for us.

 

Even though the worst is over, I am still having troubles in getting back in to the swing of things so we are still schooling the same way as listed above.