Hmmm...Facebook...

[Aubrey]

Sometimes I see people there that I really *thought* I was friends w/, & then I wonder--was I? Maybe they DROPPED me?? :w00t:

 

But all you can do is wonder, on the off-chance that they DID drop you.

 

Oh, & the friend requests that languish. And the mssgs that never receive replies. There's not a lot of this, you understand, but the subtleties of the resurrected relationships they represent make you wonder. But in wondering, you know to leave well enough alone.

 

I'm done. Let the FB flames be thrown! :D

[coffeefreak]

Aubrey,

I only accept friend requests from friends/people I know irl. I thought that would save me that problem. The funny thing is, last month a "friend" got mad at me about something stupid (I refused to be at her beck and call during the day), and "unfriended" me. Then, she proceeded to write me an e-mail, saying she couldn't stand seeing me on Facebook all happy and "spending time" with other people :001_huh:

 

Um, FB is not spending time with other people! It's casual comments and pictures of family to brag about! Anyway, all this to say, I frequently ignore "friend" requests. If I don't "know" you or you weren't ever my friend IRL, I don't want to give you access to my page :) Not YOU personally. You seem very nice and not at all a weirdo! LOL! This post is getting out of control.

 

blessings!

Dorinda

[funschooler5]

Yes! I've had a few friends "unfriend" me for no apparent reason. A couple of them were just old classmates (but then I noticed they were still friends with some of our other classmates). One dropped me I thought by mistake (this was before I'd figured out how the whole FB friend thing works) and I re-added her as a friend. She accepted my request, so I don't know what happened there.

 

And then there are the status updates I post that get no comments whatsoever...and I don't really update that often.

 

It really is kind of like a grown-up version of high school in some ways. This is probably because the majority of my FB friends are from my high school. I get requests from people that I hardly ever talked to in school, and and I've sent out ones to people that I thought I knew pretty well, but my requests don't get accepted. It's a strange social game,:lol:. I do accept any request from somebody I know I've talked to. I've only unfriended two people, and that was because even though I thought I knew who they were, I'm positive I'd never talked to them before, and I just felt weird having my profile open to people I don't know at all. Hmmm...maybe that's what's happening with the people that unfriend me? Unfortunately, one was a person that I went to school with 1st - 12th grades, so I hope that's not the case!

 

I do still like FB, though, if only because I'm nosy and like to see what everyone looks like now, and what their kids look like. I've also found some of my cousins and aunts on there, and it's a great way to keep in touch with them.

[BikeBookBread]

Maybe they just deactivated their accounts...? I think many, many people are giving up on FB -- the bloom has worn off for many, me included. USA Today had a call for personal FB drop stories last week.

 

(I know you can't totally cancel and un-FB yourself. The shell is always there. But I have no idea what happens to the friendship links. Does my picture still show up as a friend to other people even though I'm deactivated?)

[Jumping In Puddles]

Maybe they just deactivated their accounts...? I think many, many people are giving up on FB -- the bloom has worn off for many, me included. USA Today had a call for personal FB drop stories last week.

 

(I know you can't totally cancel and un-FB yourself. The shell is always there. But I have no idea what happens to the friendship links. Does my picture still show up as a friend to other people even though I'm deactivated?)

 

No, it appear you are not even on facebook. If you reactivate your account, your friends will all be automatically added back. I was friends with someone who deactivated his account for about a year. If I did a search on his name, it wasn't listed. Then suddenly, he rejoined fb and I (and the dozen common friends plus his other friends) were all automatically friended with him.

[Scarlett]

No, it appear you are not even on facebook. If you reactivate your account, your friends will all be automatically added back. I was friends with someone who deactivated his account for about a year. If I did a search on his name, it wasn't listed. Then suddenly, he rejoined fb and I (and the dozen common friends plus his other friends) were all automatically friended with him.

 

Yes....I've recently deactivated mine. It is like I've dropped off the screen. You can log back on at any time and take a peek at what is going on. I did this at 12:30 a.m. last night (this morning) and my page was hit twice with 'glad you're back' comments. I deactivated as I logged out.

[Aubrey]

Aubrey,

I only accept friend requests from friends/people I know irl. I thought that would save me that problem. The funny thing is, last month a "friend" got mad at me about something stupid (I refused to be at her beck and call during the day), and "unfriended" me. Then, she proceeded to write me an e-mail, saying she couldn't stand seeing me on Facebook all happy and "spending time" with other people :001_huh:

 

Um, FB is not spending time with other people! It's casual comments and pictures of family to brag about! Anyway, all this to say, I frequently ignore "friend" requests. If I don't "know" you or you weren't ever my friend IRL, I don't want to give you access to my page :) Not YOU personally. You seem very nice and not at all a weirdo! LOL! This post is getting out of control.

 

blessings!

Dorinda

 

Wow--no, only 1 of the people I wonder about is an online-only friend, & maybe that explains it. The rest are irl. Some were close in the relatively recent past, others weren't as much, but I don't consider FB friendship to nec be an indication of closeness--if that makes sense. Actually, I use it more like my WTM backup. And there? I mostly lurk. :001_huh: The status update's too much pressure for me. ;)

 

Anyway, it *does* feel like highschool to wonder about stuff like that! :lol: It's a good indication that I need to get off the computer!

[coffeefreak]

Wow--no, only 1 of the people I wonder about is an online-only friend, & maybe that explains it. The rest are irl. Some were close in the relatively recent past, others weren't as much, but I don't consider FB friendship to nec be an indication of closeness--if that makes sense. Actually, I use it more like my WTM backup. And there? I mostly lurk. :001_huh: The status update's too much pressure for me. ;)

 

Anyway, it *does* feel like highschool to wonder about stuff like that! :lol: It's a good indication that I need to get off the computer!

 

:lol:

I've been feeling the same way. It feels a lot like highschool. If they "unfriended" you, that's their loss.

 

Blessings!

Dorinda

[Guest Katia]

Well......I just unfriended a lot of people on my friend list. See, when I first joined FB I wasn't really sure what it was all about and how it all worked, etc. So, as long as I knew/had known the people IRL, I friended all who asked and immediately got a lot of friends.

 

Since I've been on for almost a year now, I've discovered what I really want out of my FB account and what I don't want. I want people who are really my friends that I can comment on their status and they can comment on mine, and/or we can chat They are interested in my life and I am interested in theirs.

 

What I don't want are people who never post any status at all, that I never hear from on chat, that don't post to my status, or that only post religious quotes on their status. Not that I don't like the religious stuff, but it's not what I want on FB.

 

And, since it's my FB account, I am making it what *I want. I'm sorry if someone thinks I'm mad at them or whatever if I unfriend them, but........it's not that I don't like them and I'm not mad at them, but FB is a 'social' network and I want to socialize with my friends, not have them reading all about my life and never giving me a piece of theirs or commenting or whatever.

 

Basically, I guess I'm saying I don't want lurkers on my personal account, even though I know them IRL. So I delete them off. And now I am very happy with my FB social network.

 

You just figure out what you want as you go.

[Rosie_0801]

I'm a bit hurt that the kids' godfather, who was present at dd's birth, refused my friend request. Oh well, he's always been a bit odd and has made over his identity since he moved away. I guess he doesn't want too many reminders of his old life. Still, if someone watches you have a baby, you'd think that would mean enough that they'd accept a friend request on Facebook.

 

Rosie

[asta]

I'm a bit hurt that the kids' godfather, who was present at dd's birth, refused my friend request. Oh well, he's always been a bit odd and has made over his identity since he moved away. I guess he doesn't want too many reminders of his old life. Still, if someone watches you have a baby, you'd think that would mean enough that they'd accept a friend request on Facebook.

 

Rosie

 

One of my siblings attacked a long-term friend of mine in the comments section of a story I had posted. A long, vicious attack. I was dumbfounded. This friend is one of those "never say an unkind word about anyone" types of people.

 

Then my own sibling "de-friended" me.

 

I'm rapidly discovering that this whole FB thing is just... odd.

 

 

a

[Kate in Arabia]

I enjoy hearing about how friends and extended family are doing -- I am not in email contact with most of them, like my cousins and all, so if not for FB I wouldn't know much about what's going on in their lives. Perhaps that is a fault of mine, that I should put more effort into maintaining contact. But FB is a handy crutch! ;)

 

I do try to ignore posts or comments that get political or religious. I'm at odds with most from my family/geographical area on these topics, I'm better off just letting it go.

[nd293]

Facebook just gives me the creeps! I basically don't post because I don't want to take the rather drastic step of "unfriending" people that I used to know IRL, but feel odd about sharing any details of my life with since we have moved. They certainly would never bother to keep contact with me outside of Facebook - these are the people who might send me some sort of silly forwarded e-mail, but then not respond when I drop them a private line to say "Hi" - KWIM?

 

Then there's someone who I knew vaguely 20 years ago who sent me a friend request. What are my choices? I can let the request languish and seems rude, or deny it and seem rude, or accept it and have someone I know nothing about have access to me.

 

Like I said, Facebook gives me the creeps!

[ChristusG]

I love facebook. I love keeping in touch with friends and family all at the same time, in one place. I only accept people that are family, current friends, or friends in the past that I knew well. I've never been hurt or angered by anything on Facebook because I make sure I do not accept people that I may have issues with (hence, they would not be a good friend to me). It has worked out well for me.

[Parrothead]

 

I'm rapidly discovering that this whole FB thing is just... odd.

 

 

a

I thought it was odd from the beginning. I gave it a whirl for about a month then deactivated my account.

 

If you want to talk to your friends, pick up the phone and call them.

 

I'm never going to get the idea behind texting or Facebook.

[Rhonda in TX]

I ignored one person because I thought their posts were inappropriate. Another person was sending "gifts" to everybody and their dog and it was cluttering up my screen too much. Oh, and I ignored my best friend's teenage daughter because I deal with enough angst at my house. I don't need her angst, too! LOL

 

One of my facebook friends decided to remove most of the men from her friend list. She just didn't feel comfortable about it. She sent out an explanatory update beforehand, though. I thought that was thoughtful. Another friend unfriended a mutual friend (does that make sense?) because they were chatting one day and he told her that he had wanted to date her in high school. She didn't think her husband would appreciate that kind of talk, so she unfriended him.

 

I haven't run into any rude or "high school'ish" behavior, thankfully.

[ciyates]

I deactivated my account when I realized how much time I spent seeing what others were saying and doing.

[coffeefreak]

I ignored one person because I thought their posts were inappropriate. Another person was sending "gifts" to everybody and their dog and it was cluttering up my screen too much. Oh, and I ignored my best friend's teenage daughter because I deal with enough angst at my house. I don't need her angst, too! LOL

 

 

 

:iagree:

The only Teens that have access to my account are a cousin (16) and our babysitter (17). Both are very mature and no drama kind of teens. The other teens of friends that have asked, I have ignored. I'm not their "friends," why would I want to watch what I say on my page because of them?

[LostSurprise]

I 'un-friend' people. Facebook is my space for sharing my life and talking with people...if people won't talk to me then I 'un-friend' them. It's not meant to be personal. I'm not personally upset that they don't want to interact with me, but I share personal things so if folks don't want to have even short, occasional interactions with me I'd rather not have them on my list. My list is small and intimate and I like it that way. I'm not interested in being a number on a huge friend's list.

[KidsHappen]

Sometimes I see people there that I really *thought* I was friends w/, & then I wonder--was I? Maybe they DROPPED me?? :w00t:

 

But all you can do is wonder, on the off-chance that they DID drop you.

 

Oh, & the friend requests that languish. And the mssgs that never receive replies. There's not a lot of this, you understand, but the subtleties of the resurrected relationships they represent make you wonder. But in wondering, you know to leave well enough alone.

 

I'm done. Let the FB flames be thrown! :D

 

I just have to say, that your little one is a cutie just like her mom. :)

[KidsHappen]

I love facebook but all of my friends as people I knwo in real life, mostly family and my kids immediate friends. This way I can keep up with what is going on with my kids and with family all over the country. I do keep in touch with some of the homeschoolers from FL and their kids. My ex keeps sending me friend requests which I do approve but then a week later I get another one. I think his wife is unfriending me which is a shame as it would make it so much easier to communicate about the kids. I have thought about adding a few people from here but I figure they hear enough from me already. I do have a few neighbors on there as well so we can keep in touch with neighborhood happenings and keep and eye out for each other.

 

I have yet to figure out how the darn thing works yet though. My hubby and I have some of the exact same friends (our kids). Sometimes I will get posts from them but he will not. Sometimes I get post from people I don't know directed at people I don;t know. Sometimes I can't see repsonses to my dds post evven when the person posting is my friends as well. It is all a crap shoot as far as I can tell.

Edited January 30, 2010 by KidsHappen

[Ginevra]

I unfriended a few high school "friends" because of the pictures they used for their profile or because they constantly send Mafia Wars, Hearts, Farmville, and whatever else I'm not interested in. I've also become more judicious about whose invitation to be friends I accept in the first place. There have been some whom I know are from high school, or a friend-of-a-friend, but I don't *know* them at all, so I ignore.

 

My dd is my friend on FB, so it is important to me that anything that my "friends" might put up is acceptable to me. Therefore, if they are too far removed from me, or I see a lot of stuff that I consider questionable or cruddy, I unfriend them.

[Dawn in OH]

It seems to me to be a bit like a combination of a popularity contest and collecting baseball cards.

 

People seem to strive to have as many friends listed as possible, to look popular.

 

I can't stand getting friend requests from people from high school (19 years ago) that I was NEVER friends with. Then they never message me or say a word. I feel like they were either trying to boost their friend count or be nosy and see who my other friends are, my pictures and what's going on in my life, but don't care enough to actually message me.

 

Last night I was completely interrogated by some girl from high school, that I never liked, and was never friends with. After she finished grilling me she says "Oh, well, gotta go now". I ONLY friended her because she was pestering me with messages; "Why haven't you accepted my friend request?". "Wow you look really great, love to talk to you". So I gave in just to make her shut up, (Is that awful?) and see if she had anything meaningful to say. I will probably unfriend her again one of these days.

 

I have to agree with nd293, Facebook kind of gives me the creeps. I just had a few friends I really wanted to hear from. I wish I could hide from the rest.

[Jenny in Atl]

I'm using Facebook for my business more and more these days. It's a great way to network with other artists from around the world. I think like anything, you can either enjoy it, will all its faults, or not. I'm sure there will be some newer more popular way to connect come next year.

 

I heard Twitter has already peaked and declined a bit in numbers... who would have ever thought! :lol:

[Rosie_0801]

Facebook just gives me the creeps! I basically don't post because I don't want to take the rather drastic step of "unfriending" people that I used to know IRL, but feel odd about sharing any details of my life with since we have moved.

Then there's someone who I knew vaguely 20 years ago who sent me a friend request. What are my choices? I can let the request languish and seems rude, or deny it and seem rude, or accept it and have someone I know nothing about have access to me.

 

 

I was exactly the same and resisted until my sister moved to Kenya. Now it's the easiest way to keep up with what she's doing. Their electricity is a bit erratic so Facebook streamlines communication for her.

 

Rosie

[iquilt]

I just deactivated my account, too much drama on facebook too. Anyone I was "friends" with on fb I see in real life, so I'll just stick to that, thank you very much.

[tofuscramble]

I just accept anyone and never share anything private. The only time I ever unfriended someone was because of a really nasty racist comment. I am not white, so I have no idea why he added me to begin with since he obviously doesn't like non-white people.