How important is this etiquette rule?

[Danestress]

I treated myself to a couple of boxes of formal correspondence notes after my father died. They are standard folded notes with my monogram embossed on the front and my address on the envelope - like these.

 

http://www.expressionery.com/product.aspx?lineid=263&productid=1506

 

I have a gazillion notes to write, of course. The woman at the stationery store told me that one must only write on the inside bottom of the folded card and should not turn the note over the finish on the back. I hadn't heard that rule and looking on line, I am, not sure she is correct. Does anyone have the definitive answer on this (I consider Emily Post definitive. Miss Manners is always a bit suspect, but I would be interested in what she says)?

 

That really doesn't leave a lot of space to thank someone, especially if they have brought a couple of meals or done other things to support my family. Even if it's the rule, do you think it's a rule best broken in the interests of fully thanking someone?

[readwithem]

Honestly, as seldom as anybody gets a snail mail thank you these days, I'm sure your recipients will be thrilled.

 

And based on my relatively small experience, I've never known anybody to deliberately NOT write on the back of the paper. If the note is complete within the inside bottom, so be it.

[stripe]

I wouldn't worry about it. That's one of those "rules" that seems unlikely to offend anyone or cause problems if broken, unlike, say, covering your mouth when you sneeze or actually sending a thank you note! But if you really want to have lots of room, you can buy some additional, coordinating paper to insert into the card to continue your note.

[PinkInTheBlue]

I would say it's definitely more correct to only write on the bottom inside part. However, it is not something that matters in the scheme of things. :) If you have something to say that the recipient will enjoy seeing, write away! It's probably somewhat like white shoes after Labor Day; just not one that is that important.

[KidsHappen]

I just use the entire inside portion of the note.

[Marylou]

Go for it. I love it when someone write enough to have to use the back!

[Perry]

I don't know anything about etiquette, but I'm so sorry about the loss of your father. :grouphug:

[kalanamak]

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That really doesn't leave a lot of space to thank someone, especially if they have brought a couple of meals or done other things to support my family. Even if it's the rule, do you think it's a rule best broken in the interests of fully thanking someone?

 

If I was writing the queen, or any other "high personage" I would stick to the rule. For everyone else, they'll be thrilled at anything.

 

My mother, who grew up in the 20's in a very proper household, signed the card, and included a neat note on nice paper, folded and tucked perfectly IN the card.

[Tap]

Formal etiquette-the note card is for a note, not a letter. If you want to write more that the space allows, then use the card to write a note, and include a letter written on coordinating paper.

 

Informal-write on the inside of whole card or write on the back.

 

If I was writing to people of an older generation or someone who knows etiquette, who would appreciate the formality, I would most definitely follow formal rules. They are the most likely to notice the effort and appreciate your diligence.

 

If I was writing my friends...they would think it all quite silly if I did that and would scoff at the extra use of paper.

 

I think you need to consider the person receiving the card and plan accordingly.

[JeneralMom]

I would agree. Having been raised with very formal, Old World, strict etiquette rules, note cards are simply for notes and should only be written on the portion of the card that you mentioned...never both sides or on the back. If you want to write something longer, then just write a little thank you on the card and enclose a separate sheet of paper and insert it in the card. But, of course, if you were being truly "proper" you would also cover the ink section with a piece of tissue so the ink wouldn't bleed.

 

Having said all that, it is the 21st century and I think anyone would be pleased as punch just to get any card/note in the mail.

[kalanamak]

but I'm so sorry about the loss of your father. :grouphug:

 

Yes, and I hope the memorial business wasn't too miserable for you.

[Word Nerd]

IMHO, that "rule" is completely arbitrary and unimportant, and I can't fathom anyone truly caring one way or the other. I'm sorry for your loss.