rookie Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I stopped talking to my family about a year ago and it's the first time in my life I have experienced some peace and quiet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee22 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Wow, this thread has made me feel better. :) Most of the time I feel like I'm the only one that has family issues. I have three older sisters and I'm only in contact with one. One sister's husband tried to cast a demon out of me and told me I was the root cause of our family problems , not the alcohol abuse or emotional abuse but me. Obviously, that relationship has pretty much been dead since that incident. They like to send me shower and wedding invitations so I that I can send gifts to their five kids but beyond that we have no relationship. My other sister up and moved to my state and used me to get settled and then dropped me. She actually moved in with her boyfriend and didn't tell me that she left her rental that I helped her move into. I'm in some contact with the last sister but she is tight with the others so it is awkward a lot of the time. Life is hard... I pray my children have healthier and happier relationships when they are older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LunaLee Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Ya. I just told him to go clean the bathroom and get his stinky shoes out of the living room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 No contact with now x-sister. She has personality disorders. She is toxic and even severely limiting contact wasn't working so we recently have gone completely no contact. In her case, any response would just encourage more of her abuse. Even ignoring her prompts abuse. I don't feel any regret because she has done damaging and unforgivable things to the family. I have contact with my brother and try to help him make good choices if he has to deal with her. Going no contact has been a relief and just knowing we're completely out of her reach is a wonderful feeling! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpupg Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 :grouphug: My sister and I just live in different worlds. Always have. So we email, but she's not the most reliable responder. No hard feelings, though ... that must be really hard for you. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Yes, but our relationships are permanantly damaged by the dysfuntion that was pervasive in our family of origin. We care about each other and have come to realize it was our parent's fault, not ours. Our relationships continue to improve as we grow and heal from the past. I was estranged from my brother for 7 years, no contact what-so-ever. He hated me. Now, he tells me he loves me. It's been a long road, but one worth traveling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Most of the time I feel like I'm the only one that has family issues. :lol::lol::lol: Sorry, but this was funny! Hopefully, now you know that if you happen to meet someone who DOESN'T have family issues - THEY are the only one! Hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Yes! I have a step sister that I talk to mostly on FB, but two baby brothers that I am very close to. Baby brother #1 (2.5 yrs younger than me) is one of my very best friends. He is in Iraq right now, but when he is home we talk almost daily. He is such an amazing person!!!! It has taken work and a lot of forgiveness, but we are closer than I could have imagined! Baby brother #2 (10 years younger than me) and I are also close, but we are at very different places in life. He just graduated from college and got married, and I am an "old woman". LOL! But he has always been very special to me!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 rarely. We are complete opposites and when our parents divorced we chose to live with different parents to be apart!!! however, she's also making some huge decisions soon and she's called for my opinion. She made the comment to me years ago that she admired me even though my path isn't one she would ever choose. But that she can appreciate my opinion since she would never cross paths with someone like me in real life and she values my side of things. I took it as a compliment even if it wasn't, lol! ;-) I do email her about once a month. but we can go months without contact and no one misses each other. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 My sister and I are night and day and always have been. So, we don't go out of our way to talk to one another but their is no animosity. If there is a crisis we are 100% there for each other. On the phone, emailing, being there if travel is possible. Everything is okay, then there is no reason to call (unless it is a birthday or a Holiday). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I don't talk to my sister much at all. I gave up years ago. I tried and tried to be friends with her, but when I had my kids my energy went into them and I thought, "enough" where she was concerned. Now, I call on her birthday, Christmas etc. stay pleasant, stay off heated topics, swallow it when she's annoying me (yes, in one tiny conversation she be so rude it's almost laughable) and just get along knowing she's not part of my daily life. She talks me up to her kids so I make a real effort to be a good Aunt. I call my niece almost every week and chat w/ her for 20 mins or so. It's sad. It would BREAK MY HEART if my two boys ended up like this. One of my deepest wishes is that they be close and stay good friends for life. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 One of my brothers died about 5 years ago. I actually talk to him more now than I do to my other brother, who thinks I have never accepted his wife. He's forgotten, apparently, how he never accepted my family. It's so sad, and one of the biggest failings of my life, to have an estranged relationship. I am debating whether or not to apologize (I've put my foot in my mouth before with them, but have never intentionally caused any hurt, have never "not accepted" his wife, have never done anything worthy of being banished from his life), but I am feeling it's rather hopeless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BridgeTea Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Brother#1 lives 1800 miles away. We phone each other most weekends. I visit him every 1-3 years. (He lives near all my in-laws so it's easy for me to catch him while I am in the area for everyone else.) We have some great laughs and we are very open. He thinks I'm a nut job, and I do nothing to change his mind. Brother#2 lives 300 miles away. We email every few months. We were not close as children (for no discernible reason), and now he struggles with addictions. His emails are: "Here's what I'm up to, here's my fish I caught, here's my hunting dog." My emails are: "Hey, good job, take care, I love you!" I wish the addictions were out on the table. It's the elephant in the room and I hate that. Alcohol and drugs sure can drive wedges in a lot of families. There's other dysfunctions out there, I know, but this is the one that seems to crop up in our family. MrTea is close to his 2 sisters, but not nearly as close to them as I am! I adore them both. Wish they lived closer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 I have a sister 10 yrs younger as well. We are best friends. and see each other or talk to each multiple times a week. We've even vacationed together. In fact, I have vacationed with all of my sibs (as adults). We are really lucky. It's imperfect, but you just don't have to be perfect with your sibs. They know all your crazy. Sometimes I'll offer a warning, " I have to say something and I am going to sound exactly like mom". It's a fair warning. ;) Sometimes one of my sisters will say "I did that because I was channeling dad". lol :D Only our brother thinks he's not like our parents. He be crazy....but he knows it. I have five siblings. Brother - 1 year younger. I talk with him or his dd every month or so. They live a very different lifestyle than we do. I enjoy our conversations, but we wouldn't be friends if we weren't related. Brother - 2 years younger. He and I would be very close if he'd stop drinking. He's such a great guy. But, he keeps relapsing. I'm tired of being disappointed with him. So, I've chosen not to contact him very often. It's so sad. I really love and respect his wife though! Sister - 8 years younger. She's my best friend and we talk daily. Brother - 10 years younger. He's immature, not married, lives with my oldest brother. We talk every month or so. Talk a lot on Facebook chat. Sister - 18 years younger. She just moved out of our parent's house and is living on her ownfor the first time. We talk more now! Maybe once/week or so. Overall, we have a closeknit family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisabees Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Yes, I have two brothers and we text and talk constantly. One of them every other week (lives far away) and the other every other day. We are very close. None of us talk to our father though. It is very unhealthy for us to do so, unfortunately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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