KidsHappen Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 where do I find one? Today I managed to shower, brush my teeth and wipe down the tub, and sink and that was a major accomplishment. Dealing with my son (will be seperate post) was the last little bit of stress my life could not handle. I am overwhelmed and I literally need help. I need someone to show up at my door each day and say, "Ok, today we are going to do . . .", only I don't have anyone available to do that. From the outside, I am sure it looks like I am functioning. My kids are clothed, fed, educated, my house is functioning somewhat normally but lot of things are slipping. A major slippage was that we have mail in prescriptions that I have to send for every three months and well, in was due this month and I forgot to do it. Half the family is out of some sort of medication. I managed to fill most of the gaps with one month prescriptions but just realized I will also run out of blood pressure meds next week as well. I currently have one painted wall border laying in the middle of my bedroom floor because it was the only place I could keep the pets from accessing while I painted it. I still had to pull off short, black cat hairs, long fluffy Goldren Retriever hairs, and various lengths of girls hairs. I vaccumed before I started. I still have to let this dry and hang it to make sure it will work before painting the other three borders. And we won't even talk about the laundry. I am sure that if I could just do one thing each day, I could probably pull everything together by the end of the month but I feel myself slipping into a depression and I don't know if I am going to catch myself before I hit free fall. I have an appointment with doc on Tuesday so that is good but I am feeling pretty rough and raw right now. I do appreciate all the support I am getting regarding my son and if you have sent me a PM I will get back with you as soon as I can. Thanks all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Are you kidding? That's a HUGE industry out there. Google "life coach" and your area and I bet you could easily find one (well, depending on where you live of course). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 :grouphug: There are times when I've wondered the same thing. And times when I've answered myself - yes that is called a Mommy and I want one again (my mother is still living - she just has divorced herself from the mother role). This is why I go to the 1-2-3 Accomplish social group. So that BMW can keep me company as we post our to-do list for the day and then check them off. And I have a couple of friends that I have enlisted as diet buddies and one clutter buddy. They help keep me accountable on the those areas in my life. :grouphug: (I do know that there are professionals who do what you are asking. I just don't know how to find one. Yellow pages?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paz Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I have always wanted a personal assistant who would just take care of me and my stuff so that I could get it all done. I tell my kids that I see myself as their life coach. They just call me "bossy." On the serious side though, I am sure you could find someone to help organize whatever you would like her to organize in your life at this time. Where we live there are many who provide guidance, counsel, and just about any other service you could think of. If you live in a college town or near a university a responsible college student my be able to help. Also, with the unemployment situation as it is, you may be able to find someone with amazing skills and experience who would love to help you out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 10, 2009 Author Share Posted October 10, 2009 :grouphug: There are times when I've wondered the same thing. And times when I've answered myself - yes that is called a Mommy and I want one again (my mother is still living - she just has divorced herself from the mother role). This is why I go to the 1-2-3 Accomplish social group. So that BMW can keep me company as we post our to-do list for the day and then check them off. And I have a couple of friends that I have enlisted as diet buddies and one clutter buddy. They help keep me accountable on the those areas in my life. :grouphug: (I do know that there are professionals who do what you are asking. I just don't know how to find one. Yellow pages?) See, I thought I needed a wife but I guess a mother would do. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 10, 2009 Author Share Posted October 10, 2009 Are you kidding? That's a HUGE industry out there. Google "life coach" and your area and I bet you could easily find one (well, depending on where you live of course). Really? I would have never guessed there really was such a thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwinMominTX Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I'd hire a housekeeper before I hired a life coach type person. Having someone else do the laundry and the cleaning will free you up to deal with your stressful issues and give your surroundings a sense of serenity and peace (and clean toilets). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Could I make a suggestion? Buy a PDA or set up a PDA program on your computer. That way you can put in all those things that don't need to be done daily, but still do need to be done, and assign them to specific days. Up pops the reminder, and you don't have to remember it in the meantime. Also, make a list of the major categories in your life. Just start with their titles. Do it by the end of the day tomorrow, and then come back and tell us what they are. I suspect that you'll be amazed at how many there are. This is the starting point to prioritizing them, and putting them into your PDA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Have you tried FlyLady? I don't manage to do the whole program, but I have adopted some of the skills and it really helps. She sends out daily email with housework 'missions' for the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lakotajm Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Actually, I was thinking you sound pretty well like you've got it together compared to me many months and definitely for someone with that many kids (and pets.) I have noticed in the past 3-4 months that I appear to be slipping. I have gotten seriously forgetful and scatter-brained. I can't even think clearly. It seems to happen mostly in the two weeks between ovulation and menstruation. Maybe it's harmonal? I had been taking antidepressants but stopped and went herbal. It isn't quite as effective. As for a life coach, my sister actually does that online-at least I think that she is still doing that. Maybe she could help? Tell her I sent you her way. Her email is soni@sonipitts.com Only one caveat-the poor dear has never had children and is therefore pretty clueless as to what depths of desperation us moms can get to. But she could at least give it a shot. Good luck. I like the housekeeper idea-I had thought of that for myself, but am, alas, penniless. Sigh. Lakota Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) Could I make a suggestion? Buy a PDA or set up a PDA program on your computer. That way you can put in all those things that don't need to be done daily, but still do need to be done, and assign them to specific days. Up pops the reminder, and you don't have to remember it in the meantime. Also, make a list of the major categories in your life. Just start with their titles. Do it by the end of the day tomorrow, and then come back and tell us what they are. I suspect that you'll be amazed at how many there are. This is the starting point to prioritizing them, and putting them into your PDA. Oh, I have lists, lots and lots of lists. I even have a list of my lists. It's the execution that I am having a hard time with. Life just keeps happening while I am trying to plan. :001_smile: ETA: I don't exactly know what a PDA is but I am pretty sure figuring one out would be more than I can handle right now. Edited October 11, 2009 by KidsHappen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meet me in paris Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 My father and my sister are both certified Life Coaches. It's a legitimate thing (my sister is also a practicing psychologist and my father was an HR exec for many years - he focuses on employment related issues). If you really feel you need one, I think it's a great way to make goals for yourself, have someone help you plan, and be accountable for making progress. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 My father and my sister are both certified Life Coaches. It's a legitimate thing (my sister is also a practicing psychologist and my father was an HR exec for many years - he focuses on employment related issues). If you really feel you need one, I think it's a great way to make goals for yourself, have someone help you plan, and be accountable for making progress. :001_smile: I don't want to be accountable. I was thinking more along the lines of someone helping me, not like a kid or a hubby but ya know, someone who is actually helpful. .:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I'd hire a housekeeper before I hired a life coach type person. Having someone else do the laundry and the cleaning will free you up to deal with your stressful issues and give your surroundings a sense of serenity and peace (and clean toilets). :iagree: That takes a HUGE burden off and frees up time to do the things that you enjoy (like painting the boarder). The mail order scripts can be put on automatic reorder. That is a neat feature, trust me. :001_smile: Many banks have free bill pay that can be set up to automatically pay bills each month too. Can you tell I have issues with remembering things too? LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Oh, I have lists, lots and lots of lists. I even have a list of my lists. It's the execution that I am having a hard time with. You are setting very high exceptions. It sounds like you are overwhelmed. Too many lists won't help, they'll only pull you down. I wanted order and started off small with a small daily list of things I knew must happen every day. I include things like: Unload dishwasher first thing in morning. Load & run dishwaster before bedtime. Wipe kitchen & bathroom counters. One load of laundry. Once I got used to that, I added specific day-of-week responsibilities. Sunday: Do everything on daily card. Grocery game for major grocery shopping vacuum living room and hallway balance checkbook It's taken a while to get into some sort of routine, but knowing I have things to do that only take about 15 mins. makes following the routine quite easy. I have developed a plan that has elements from Flylady and Side-Tracked Home Executives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 There are TONS of Life/Job Coaches out there. Just be very careful because some are self-proclaimed and will rip you off. I personally know of one that claims to be a job coach but her own life is a complete train wreck. She doesn't even have the background or skills to be job coaching. She just got some freebie business cards printed up and is passing herself off as a job coach. Fortunately, she hasn't had many clients to scam. If you find someone, make sure you get references and check out their qualifications before you pay them anything or let them into your life. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) Last year I looked into the Life Coaches, I wanted help on some 'direction to my life' issues. I found that they were all offering their sevices on-line or over the phone and not in person. I even live near a larger city and I couldn't find one there that would see someone in person. I think I wanted a combination mentor, guidance counselor, sounding board. Anyway, I don't think a life coach will meet your needs. I would think you might want to try an organizer and/or housekeeper. Also I would try to figure out as much as possible what you really need. That will help you to figure out who you need. Also you might want a couple of different support people, maybe at the same time or one after another. Organizer (or some program) to get everything in shape, then a housekeeper to keep it that way at least for a time. Counselor to listen to you and help manager the stress. Just some thoughts that I hope are helpful. I never did find someone for me, but life changed. Edited October 11, 2009 by OrganicAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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