Moxie Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Yes, I'm shouting! What can I do to get my 8 year old son to work without constantly saying, "Are you working"??? He dawdles, he stares out the window, he stares at the ceiling, he plays with his pencil, on and on and on. I have 2 (soon to be 3) other children; I cannot babysit my oldest full time. He MUST learn to do his work in a timely fashion; how do we get there?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pageta Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Is he doing this with one subject or all subjects? Mt ds (6) does this with phonics and reading aloud so we are adjusting our curriculum (for phonics) and we are now reading for a set amount of time (if we don't finish the story, we stop anyway & start over the next day). I totally understand how annoying it can be! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Yes, I'm shouting! What can I do to get my 8 year old son to work without constantly saying, "Are you working"??? He dawdles, he stares out the window, he stares at the ceiling, he plays with his pencil, on and on and on. I have 2 (soon to be 3) other children; I cannot babysit my oldest full time. He MUST learn to do his work in a timely fashion; how do we get there?? I have a 9 year old who is the same way. You state he "MUST learn to do his work in a timely fashion" and I agree but I am not sure 8 years old is the time he will learn in. For things that require great amounts of concentration, like math, I still sit with him to keep him on task. I am there to interupt his dawdling almost before it starts. When he looks out the window I say -Is the answer written on the trees outside? Finish your problem- If he drops his pencil I hand him one of the 6 I have ready. When he starts telling me about a funny joke he heard, I say -Does it have anything to do with long division?- and he will get back to work. My 2 older children were the same way and I can say it will get better but it wasn't at 8 years old for any of them. Now for things like spelling, grammar, reading comprehension, he doesn't have a problem The assignments are shorter and more to the point. I also try to do some things on the computer that prompt him, if he stalls. It will say "press the help key if you don't understand" or something like that to keep him on-task. I hope some other wise mom's have a better answer for you. For me, the only way my son is capable of more challenging work is if I stay with him to keep him focused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smrtmama Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Yes, I'm shouting! What can I do to get my 8 year old son to work without constantly saying, "Are you working"??? He dawdles, he stares out the window, he stares at the ceiling, he plays with his pencil, on and on and on. I have 2 (soon to be 3) other children; I cannot babysit my oldest full time. He MUST learn to do his work in a timely fashion; how do we get there?? Ha! I had to double check to make sure I didn't post this! I set time limits per subject -- anything not finished in that time frame gets taken from his "fun" time later in the day. It only took one or two times of missing the park, playground, and Nana's house for him to get on task. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beach Mom Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 IMO, and I don't allow it to be an excuse - but it's a boy thing! I have a 7 and 8 year old DS and we go through spurts of this with both of them. How many times can a Mom say FOCUS in one day?! Boys are wiggly, have lots to think about and aren't always motivated to complete their work. It has been a huge learning experience for me as I have come from an all girl family, and have a quiet, focused daughter who I had before my 2 boys of motion. Here are a few things that have helped at our house: The biggest improvement came when I started taking breaks and made them go outside and run around or ride their bikes for 15 mins about 10:30. We start at 8:45 to give you a frame of reference. They have much better focus after a little time running around. We do Bible, math and whatever else fits. They look forward to the time outside and it motivates them to move the morning along. If someone daydreams too long during math they don't get to go outside. Doing math in the morning has helped. Then we alternate with a more reading intense subject vs. a more writing intense subject. When they are reading they can be in their beanbag chairs, out on the deck, under the table - as long as they are working. If not, back to table and chair. Choosing materials that I know will interest and engage them is important. I also found that what my boys eat for breakfast has a big impact on how the school day goes. Mine need protein in the morning not sugar. The better they eat, the better they focus. It is frustrating when they are unfocused. We treat it as a discipline issue and spend lots of time discussing the importance of self control and work ethic. I also find it helps their motivation if they have something to look forward to in the afternoon after their work is done. If they make a plan at breakfast to build a fort in the afternoon they are more motivated to get their work done so I try to initiate these discussions. On the other hand, my boys make me laugh nearly every day with their antics and imaginations. They are dirty, boisterous and adventurous. Hang in there!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mystika1 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Hi, My daughter was exactly like that. I was going crazy because it seemed like I was a broken record saying, "Do your work honey" constantly. Then I decided to dig deep and find the problem. For us, I discovered that my daughter only really did this at math and handwriting time. I have switched my math program to CLE and switched copywork to something more interesting. WOW! what a difference that made. She literally jumps for joy when she sees her math materials come out! Try to observe when the behavior is going on. Is is only with specific subjects. You may have a child thats bored with the materials. HTH, Penny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pageta Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Also consider the level of involvement. Are they doing it when they are filling in worksheets? Or is it after you read them a story and want a response from them? My ds does handwriting and math with manipulatives great, but reading (which also depends wholly on him to get done but is not kinesthic) was a great trial. He enjoys being read to (science, history, and literature). So the things I do with him go well, unless I am being passive (listening to him read) while he is being active. Math and handwriting so far has been interactive (learning how to write the letters and using the manipulatives) so those have been fine. So maybe change the format of some of the classes and see if that gets a different result. See if you can find a better balance between interaction and working independently and then gradually increase the working independently as long as it is working. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Get a timer and set it for a reasonable amount of time given the assignment. If the work isn't complete when the timer goes off, set it aside - it just became homework. Move on to the next subject. No play, free, or screen time in the afternoon is allowed until homework is done. Don't nag or remind them, but make sure they're at the kitchen table or in an observable area at this time. If they choose to stare off into space - so be it. By some predetermined time in the evening, typically before dinner, homework must be completed. If it's not done child looses all privledges for the remainder of the day or until the work is completed. Stop driving yourself crazy. As long as the work is doable for the child, it's not overwhelming or too difficult, then make the child responsible for completing it in a timely way. Make sure you have reasonable consequences in place for not working diligently. Make those consequences perfectly clear to the child and be very consistant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Only when my older ds went to high school did this change with him. I'm still trying to get my 12yob to work FASTER! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cynww Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Great ideas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 We've also done the "homework" idea with a time limit--limit the time & have a scheduled "free time" later in the day. All "homework" must be completed during free time. Once he realizes that it's "his" time, he will take more ownership--after all, if the time isn't his, it's easy to waste, but if it is HIS to choose what to do with--well, who wants to lose that? LOL! Another thing we've done is a twist on the timer idea. Add in a bit of competition--ie, "Who do you think will get done first, you with your math, or me with the laundry? Ready--get set--go!" Make it so he can win if he tries. Also, I let my kids know that I have to be able to read the answers, and it's not winning if there's lots of careless errors & they have to redo it, LOL! Anyway, both of my kids liked to "race." One last thing that helped us--workboxes. It's a visual, 3-D schedule that lets them see exactly what's done & what needs to be done. I have pics and a description in my signature. Merry :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSmama Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 OK, my 8 year old ds is the same way. I'm constantly saying, focus, focus! :glare: :) He looks at my dd's math and tries to help her. Never mind that I'm right there helping her! Finally today he realized after he really put forth effort to focus, he could be done faster with his work if he focused. Umm...isn't that what my dh and I have been telling him all along? :001_huh: One day I'm sure my ds and yours will grow up. And like another poster said, I also laugh at his antics! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Try using a timer he can see! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaOz Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 My dd was like this. I finally started setting a timer for her. I would tell her to set the timer for, say, 30 mintues for math, and if it wasn't finished by then she could change to a different subject, then go back and finish the unfinished work later. I didn't really promote it as a 'punishment' but as a chance to 'refresh her brain' by doing something different after 30 minutes. Then the next subject could have 30 minutes etc. She would have to come back and complete anything that was unfinished later on. I think the realization that she could have a break by doing a different subject after the set time helped her. It wasn't long until she started finishing her subjects within the time limit and she would ask what she should do because there was still time on the clock :) . In a few months, we have moved from me having to nag her constantly, to her being so much more self-motivated and aware of what she needs to get done. We actually don't need to set the timer anymore. It's much better. Might be worth a try... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katiebug_1976 Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I would suggest setting a timer for a reasonable amount of time to finish each subject he is working on. If the timer goes off before he is finished, then start counting the minutes until he is finished. For every minute he goes over, he owe's you 2 minutes of chores (ie, the things you would have been doing if you had not been "babysitting" him). This works well w/ my dc when they seem to want to dawdle. I also get some extra help w/ the laundy, dishes, and general cleaning of the house from time to time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Beach Mom is my alter ego it seems. I would have written exactly the same post. This made me laugh too because it's sooooo true: On the other hand, my boys make me laugh nearly every day with their antics and imaginations. They are dirty, boisterous and adventurous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennefer@SSA Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I have an ADHDer so this is par for the course for us...every subject...and all other aspects of life too! I think you have rcd great advice so far. Figuring out the "why" behind the "what" will really help you to determine your best course of action. Is it just being a wiggly boy? Is it truly boredom? Does he just need some serious habit training? Could it be diet related? What we do is start the day with a good dense protein and no (or at least extremely limited) sugar. Give a protein snack every 2 1/2 hrs to keep concentration up, too. We start the day with eggs almost every day along with fresh fruit and ww toast, or cottage cheese pancakes or sometimes just peanut butter toast and low sugar Greek yogurt (it's much higher in protein that typical yogurt). Then our am snack is a small handful of nuts, a cheese stick and a few ww crackers. More protein at lunch too to finish off our school day strong. As for timers they can be lifesavers for some kids. We have one in just about every room in the house to help ds8. He knows to set it for 2 min when he brushes his teeth and 10 minutes when he is doing his morning room chores (making bed, getting dressed, putting away pjs). I think a major thing is to not nag. Like another poster said...set your expectations clearly as well as the consequences - good and bad! "If you finish before the timer goes off that means we move on to the next subject more quickly! If we get done early today then we can play a board game together (or walk to the park for 20 min or whatever). If you dawdle then when the timer goes off that becomes homework to do during your playtime. Your choice." If he needs a more immediate reward than free time at the end of the school day then figure out something that would motivate him right then when the timer goes off if he has met the goal - a point on a chart that add up to get him a new match box car? A skittle or two (I know I said no sugar but for some kids whose "currency" is candy a skittle or two can go along way!)? A quick 5 minute jump on the trampoline until it's time to start the next subject? Also, I agree with another poster who said that for some kids it's good for you to be right there with them. Yes, he's 8 but until the habit of concentrated effort is formed you can be his concentration for him and show him what it feels like to move through a lesson without stopping and without distractions. By a smile and an encouraging word, "Way to go. You've done 4 problems. Keep it up," he may be better able to keep on going without stopping. One of my ds's biggest times of dawdling is during math. Math is one of this stronger subjects and he doesn't really need all the review Horizon's provides so I will do a few problems in each section for him as we move through the lesson. It models the correct way for him to get it done, keeps him on task, and reduces the unnecessary repetition. A friend of mine has reduced her dc's wiggles by exercise. They start each and every school day with a one mile run before any academics. We haven't done that yet but honestly we need to. I think it would help...just haven't figured out the logistics of how to make it happen! I don't know if any of that helps but I thought I would share. It's been a process for us and we still don't have it all figured out. I will look forward to reading even more responses to get fresh ideas as well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Timers help, so do gum and exercise balls. When using a timer, you need to set it for relatively short time periods, no more than 20 minutes at a time. I would start off with much shorter times, 5-10 minutes. Even though he's likely going to be working on whatever he's doing for longer than that, it gives him a head's up call that he needs to focus on a much more frequent basis. Chewing gum is a focusing activity. It gives your body something to do that isn't disruptive while your brain concentrates on something else. Bubble gum doesn't work as well because it tends to lose flavor very quickly. You need something like Trident or Juicy Fruit. Sitting on an exercise ball is also a focusing activity. Your body is busy working on balance, but not so busy that you can't do any work. The only problem with this is that most exercise balls aren't tall enough to work very well with tables. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Yes, I'm shouting! What can I do to get my 8 year old son to work without constantly saying, "Are you working"??? He dawdles, he stares out the window, he stares at the ceiling, he plays with his pencil, on and on and on. I have 2 (soon to be 3) other children; I cannot babysit my oldest full time. He MUST learn to do his work in a timely fashion; how do we get there?? Can I respectfully suggest that most 8 year old boys are not ready to work independently? And yes, he must learn to do his work in a timely fashion, but at his age, it's unreasonable to expect that he'll do it this year. Your son is just a little guy. Just because he's the oldest doesn't mean he should be expected to act beyond his years. Frankly, I don't know any 8 year olds that will sit there and do all their work without a good deal of close supervision and assistance. They're simply not developmentally there. Are you sitting with him and helping him work through his assignments, or are you handing him his work and telling him to get it done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Timers help, so do gum and exercise balls. Sitting on an exercise ball is also a focusing activity. Your body is busy working on balance, but not so busy that you can't do any work. The only problem with this is that most exercise balls aren't tall enough to work very well with tables. All good advise. As to the exercise ball, someone posted about a sitting disk that you put on the chair and it requires just enough attention to stay balanced without it disrupting his concentration. Does anyone know the name of the disk? They sell different models at Amazon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cylau Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 This is the name of the disc. http://www.epinions.com/review/13_Junior_Disc_o_Sit_Balance_Cushion/content_168598605444 DS7 can't sit still for homeschool either. We use a small exercise ball. We have school tables in the classroom. We have to lower the legs of the table to adjust to the height of the ball. The ball does help him to focus. I also do not require him to sit. He can sit on the ball at the table. He sometimes lean on his tummy on the ball to read. The ball gives him some alternatives and allows him to move around while focusing on school works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennefer@SSA Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Timers help, so do gum and exercise balls. Chewing gum is a focusing activity. It gives your body something to do that isn't disruptive while your brain concentrates on something else. Bubble gum doesn't work as well because it tends to lose flavor very quickly. You need something like Trident or Juicy Fruit. I just wanted to add that while gum is supposed to help with focus it has never helped my ds at all...in fact it does the opposite and gives him one more thing to distract him. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam101 Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 -Is the answer written on the trees outside? :smilielol5: I do the same thing. Now my son will just pipe with, "I'm looking for the answer out the window(in the trees, on the spider web...ect)." When the weather is nice, which is less often these days, I find he focuses better outside instead of sitting inside looking out. Go figure! But all in all I think it is an age thing. I was made to stay after school two or three times a week in 2nd grade for staring out the window. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cillakat Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I just wanted to add that while gum is supposed to help with focus it has never helped my ds at all...in fact it does the opposite and gives him one more thing to distract him. :001_huh: Ditto Jennefer! Same for us with 'fidgets'......totally distracting. K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAR120C Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 And I've gotten some flack for this, so I'll say up front that YMMV - But it worked miraculously for us..... A chess clock. Basically instead of counting down the time he's allotted, I counted UP how long it took him to work, and switched to the second timer (a chess clock has two timers and you switch between them), to count how much time he was dawdling. It wasn't punitive or anything, just data. He thought he was spending all that time working (and maybe a tiny bit daydreaming) and that he really couldn't get it all done any faster, and I thought he was spending virtually no time working and HOURS daydreaming, dropping his pencil, getting a snack, sharpening his pencil.... I was right. Just having the timer there ticking decreased his "off-task" time tremendously, and it was only a day or two that made the point. And once he was on-task, he was FAST. The amount of free time he had at the end of the day went way up immediately. Even now he uses the chess clock as his timer. I'm still nearby, and he needs occasional reminders, but he knows how fast he can work now, and that when he's not getting things done he needs to consider whether his attention has been wandering... I really think before he saw it on the timer for himself he really didn't know just how long he was dawdling, and nothing helped until we addressed the fact that he thought he was working all along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 1.stop reminding 2. Give him a kitchen timer, a checklist, with reasonable specified times for each subject, and written in the schedule include a break... 3. Offer candy if he finishes on time - in my house 1:00. I think boys are little men- they don't rise to greatness under nagging. They rise to greatness when given responsibility and motivation. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alison in KY Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I have a 9 year old who is the same way. You state he "MUST learn to do his work in a timely fashion" and I agree but I am not sure 8 years old is the time he will learn in. For things that require great amounts of concentration, like math, I still sit with him to keep him on task. I am there to interupt his dawdling almost before it starts. When he looks out the window I say -Is the answer written on the trees outside? Finish your problem- If he drops his pencil I hand him one of the 6 I have ready. When he starts telling me about a funny joke he heard, I say -Does it have anything to do with long division?- and he will get back to work. My 2 older children were the same way and I can say it will get better but it wasn't at 8 years old for any of them. Now for things like spelling, grammar, reading comprehension, he doesn't have a problem The assignments are shorter and more to the point. I also try to do some things on the computer that prompt him, if he stalls. It will say "press the help key if you don't understand" or something like that to keep him on-task. I hope some other wise mom's have a better answer for you. For me, the only way my son is capable of more challenging work is if I stay with him to keep him focused. 'MMMHMMM, I totally agree. One thing I've done is when he's really antsy, I'll ask him to do 50 quick jumping jacks. That helps some, also, I've played a bit of classical music in the background. Have those extra pencils ready! Oh, I also sit with mine and I have him do short lessons...say 10 minutes at age 8. If they really focus and do the subjects daily, they can get alot done in 10 minutes. Then you let him know if he doesn't work hard for his 10 minutes, then it's homework for later. Try to keep your sense of humor and patience :lol: Alison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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