Heather in Neverland Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 And I would gently and respectfully ask -- reminding you that your initial, gut reaction to this situation is in bold print in your original title to this thread -- Is Kyle miserable? Or are you miserable because you are no longer in control of his education? Let me clear this up...Kyle likes his teacher, Kyle likes his friends, Kyle does not want to be pulled out completely for these reasons. Kyle is NOT handling a full day of school well and agrees that half a day would be better. Yes, at first I came off as if the only thing wrong was the way the school did things because I was upset. But if you read all of my posts you will see the progression of my emotional state. It is NOT a contradiction, it is a progression. His teacher IS a nice guy but I don't like the way he grades, or the fact that he is very rigid in his teaching methods. I have gone to him about Kyle and he got immediately defensive. Rather than go to the mat with Kyle's teacher, who is also my colleague and goes to my church, and try to force him to change the way he does things, it seems better for all if I pull Kyle out for half a day and tend to his needs the way we know is best. Now that I am calm I see that I should have phrased my original question like this: "If you have tried homeschooling part-time (especially if your child has special needs), how did that work for you?" Next time I will wait until I am not upset to post to avoid confusion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 (edited) Heather, I wouldn't do it. Not in this case. At most, I might ask for him to be excused from *one* class per day. Perhaps choose the one where the homework is most overwhelming or inappropriate, or where you could make the biggest difference in teaching him at home. But I wouldn't pull him out for more than one class per day. I think you could do *that* without really offending anyone or having anyone gasp in horror that the principal has no confidence in her school... You could sneak it under the radar. And one class a day is less likely to have a social impact on your son. But I wouldn't do more than that. I like the idea of one class a day. I stopped reading replies after this one. Maybe he could have a "nap" (total silence and low light) for this one class a day and it would make a big difference? I know it does for me. I have sensory issues. Another question is why you want him there for half a day instead of homeschooling full time? (oh I just read that. He doesn't want to be pulled out, but a full day is too much for him) I also think that if you keep one of your children in the school full time then that makes a huge difference as to how it looks. This way it is more clear that it is not the school, but this particular child. Okay I read some more: I always post while I am upset. That's what y'all are here for right? ((((((Heather)))))) Edited September 6, 2009 by Lovedtodeath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 I also think that if you keep one of your children in the school full time then that makes a huge difference as to how it looks. This way it is more clear that it is not the school, but this particular child. Okay I read some more: I always post while I am upset. That's what y'all are here for right? ((((((Heather)))))) We will be keeping our little guy there ALL day. He loves his class and is doing well! Of course, his teacher now seems to be the supreme person in his life (my teacher said this, my teacher said that, blah,blah,blah...I'm like "Hello? I've been saying those same things to you for years and you never listened to me." But his teacher says it so now it's the gospel truth.:tongue_smilie:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 (edited) His teacher IS a nice guy but I don't like the way he grades, or the fact that he is very rigid in his teaching methods. I have gone to him about Kyle and he got immediately defensive. Rather than go to the mat with Kyle's teacher, who is also my colleague and goes to my church, and try to force him to change the way he does things, it seems better for all if I pull Kyle out for half a day and tend to his needs the way we know is best. *treading gently* I'm still confused... it sounds like you (as a parent) have issues with the teacher? Have you really sat down and spoke with him and asked for some basic accomodations? It seems that you being his boss, he'd have to listen to your thoughts. There is some info missing about him that leaves me wondering... is he difficult to work with? Could you transfer your son to another teacher? What life lesson will be lost if son doesn't experience some "rigidness" with this teacher? You cannot always get along with everyone. But accomodations should level the playing field and allow equal access to education. I'm still also concerned your family has not really settled in your new home for more changes. Ummmm... there is no pressure from your Mom over going back home to stay by Christmas if plans in Malaysia fall apart? Or are you trying to avoid this? Is there something (i.e. control) you are fighting over within yourself versus letting your son be in under this teacher's classroom for a few more weeks? Again, coming from a parent of an Aspergers with sensory integration issues... I do understand where you are coming from. But there should be some compromise to have ds stay in class? :grouphug: Edited September 6, 2009 by tex-mex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 (edited) *treading gently*I'm still confused... it sounds like you (as a parent) have issues with the teacher? Have you really sat down and spoke with him and asked for some basic accomodations? It seems that you being his boss, he'd have to listen to your thoughts. I am not his boss. There is a different principal in charge of middle school. So while I do have "some" authority over him, technically we are colleagues. There is some info missing about him that leaves me wondering... is he difficult to work with? Somewhat. He doesn't like to be questioned. BTDT already. Could you transfer your son to another teacher? No, it is a small school so he is the only teacher. What life lesson will be lost if son doesn't experience some "rigidness" with this teacher? You cannot always get along with everyone. It's not about getting along. It's about my son floundering mentally and emotionally. He comes home at night and cries sometimes because he is so overwhelmed. But accomodations should level the playing field and allow equal access to education. His teacher's idea of accommodations is to let Kyle turn work in late...but he docks his grade too. Kyle sees his grades and absolutely falls apart. He is only in 6th grade for goodness sake. I will not have him start to hate learning like most other kids I know in school. He's always loved it until now. I'm still also concerned your family has not really settled in your new home for more changes. We are working on it. Ummmm... there is no pressure from your Mom over going back home to stay by Christmas if plans in Malaysia fall apart? No, she hasn't said anything. She knows we are here for two years no matter what. Or are you trying to avoid this? Is there something (i.e. control) you are fighting over within yourself versus letting your son be in under this teacher's classroom for a few more weeks? Of course there are some difficulties for me to give up control of his education. I think that is natural. I could pull him out completely and have him learn at home but I am trying to do the best I can to help him assimilate into a new setting without crushing his spirit. I have not done such a great job so far. Again, coming from a parent of an Aspergers with sensory integration issues... I do understand where you are coming from. But there should be some compromise to have ds stay in class? :grouphug: Thank you. This has been the most difficult part of the adjustment...oh yeah, and the driving. I still hate that too. :tongue_smilie: . Edited September 6, 2009 by Heather in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Your has son sensory issues. End of story. His needs must be accommodated. He has a right to expect as much. And no parent should apologize for looking out for her child. Even the Principal of the school. Your school should do the same for all the young people.. It's the right and proper way for the world to work. It is a Mitvzah. You are thinking rightly in every way. Resolve your own mind. You know the right thing to do. Cheers. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 We will be keeping our little guy there ALL day. He loves his class and is doing well! .It's about my son floundering mentally and emotionally. He comes home at night and cries sometimes because he is so overwhelmed. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireStitch Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 :confused: Christy, I believe she's referring to two different children in those pieces you quoted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paz Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 I cannot imagine my dd (17) with sensory issues being in a classroom all day. She is also improving as time goes on but I have seen the panic she experiences when she is overloaded. Unless you have seen that, it is probably difficult to understand Heather's decision to keep her son home half day. My dd is very emotionally healthy and part of this is due to the fact that her family understands her limits and doesn't push her beyond them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 Christy, I believe she's referring to two different children in those pieces you quoted. Yes, I am. :D Sorry I should have been more clear. It's my 6th grader who is having problems. My little guy is in full day kindergarten and loves it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 Your has son sensory issues. End of story. His needs must be accommodated. He has a right to expect as much. And no parent should apologize for looking out for her child. Even the Principal of the school. Your school should do the same for all the young people.. It's the right and proper way for the world to work. It is a Mitvzah. You are thinking rightly in every way. Resolve your own mind. You know the right thing to do. Cheers. Bill Thanks Bill (aka voice of reason :D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Yes, I am. :D Sorry I should have been more clear. It's my 6th grader who is having problems. My little guy is in full day kindergarten and loves it. Oh! Well, that does clear up those comments. I was starting to wonder, there, if the driving and the humidity had pushed you right over the edge. ;) I do understand sensory issues. I have close friends whose children have mild to severe sensory integration disorder, and I have worked with special needs children at the preschool level. I'm unmoved in my opinion that you're opening a big ol' can of worms, but I can sympathize and relate to the factors that have created the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Your has son sensory issues. End of story. His needs must be accommodated. He has a right to expect as much. And no parent should apologize for looking out for her child. Even the Principal of the school. Your school should do the same for all the young people.. It's the right and proper way for the world to work. It is a Mitvzah. You are thinking rightly in every way. Resolve your own mind. You know the right thing to do. Cheers. Bill :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 To me, the news that you are not the principle at your older son's school changes everything. I would get whatever accomodations that you can get. The special treatment problem and the school loyalty problem is not as big of a deal in that case. I know this is worded very badly. I am very sick, forgive me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Dd 2 (almost 3) has both tactile and auditory sensory issues. We have spent a year in therapy to make some progress, but the underlying issues are still a major part of our lives. DD10 gets migraines from stress. I think she is undiagnosed ADD, and her migraines tend to flare when she gets over scheduled. I used to work at a public school for homeschoolers. Dd 10 was in 1st/2nd grade then. After about a month of migraines every couple of days, I had to put her on a 1/2 day schedule too. This school was used to having custom schedules so they didn't have a problem with it though. It was structured like college. Parents picked what classes the kids attended. Classes were 1/2/3 days a week and the homework was done on the off days. I had her sit in a quiet area, and she had prearranged things to work on. I used my breaks to assist her, added a 1/2 hour to my work schedule so I could help her when needed without feeling like I was cheating my employer (all employees/teachers were paid hourly) and if she needed more help at times, I just added the corresponding time to the end of my day. I made sure that fellow employees knew that I was adjusting my work day accordingly, hopefully alleviating some hard feelings. So, after all that....I see your situation from the parent's side, not the principals, and can see how it would work if you tackle it gracefully. There are a few important things that I think smoothed the way for me. I came to the program as a homeschooler, everyone knew that. I was a parent the first year, until they offered me a job. Returning to this, made sense. When I talked to people about it, I always made sure they understood, we were only returning to what we already knew was the best for her. I made sure the teachers knew it was not them, but her unique personality that necessitated the change. That we wanted to try the full day curriculum, but after a month, it was becoming obvious that she wasn't adjusting and we needed to make a change. The easiest change, was to go back to what we already knew worked well for her. There were underlying academic issues too but I just left those alone. I didn't like the curriculum/instruction but that wasn't what this was about...it was about her, and her health issues. If she didn't have the issues, I still would have left her in the classes. I cleared it with the powers that be, before we made the change. I set it up as a month to month trial, and told them that if they would allow me to try it, and if any issues came up as a result, I would find a solution to the problem or different solution altogether. Any minor issues were quickly worked out, and never became bigger issues. One thing that we had to do was have her come to me for instruction, so I was still at my desk and accessible. A couple parents came to talk/ask questions and didn't like that I wasn't immediately accessible. Understandable, since they were on a schedule too, stopping in during office hours. Originally, I had it set up so I could just go to an area 20 feet away to help her, but once I had her start coming to me (except my break) the problem was resolved. She also had to get used to me starting a discussion with her, and having to stop mid-sentence to talk to an adult or answer the phone. I would give her subjects that required the least instructions, and gave her fun logic type puzzles to fill in her time if she got done early, either being done for the day or needing my help and me being unavailable. Honestly, in your situation, I think I would emphasis that you believe that your son really needs to go back to what he knows and loves...homeschool. I would mention that he has made so many significant changes coming here, and really misses homeschooling. That is one thing from home that you can offer him, and you want to do that for him. You will revisit the idea of full day classes next year. I would also mention that he really enjoys the school, and wants to stay for 1/2 days. While I would mention to his teacher that sensory issues are a concern during the remaining class time, I don't know if I would make it the reason. Getting labeled special needs in middle school, isn't always great on kids. People who don't understand sensory issues, can spread rumors that he is delayed or that his issues aren't 'real'. People who haven't dealt with sensory issues, don't usually get how debilitating they are. Kids deal with so much as middle schoolers, I would not want to add something for kids to pick on him about. If parents get wind of the sensory issues, and don't understand them, they will pass bad information onto the kids, and then the kids can use that misinformation to torture your son. When you discuss this with anyone, I would make sure to bring up that you thing all children are unique and that if any parent finds a solution to a problem their child is having, that you would always do your best to support the parent and child. If anyone tries to make a correlation between his departure from class and your implementing change within the school, I would simply state 'the two issues are not related, we are simply returning to what he knows and loves. It is just what is right for him'. I would always bring every conversation regarding this back to that point. If the school is big on rumors/gossip, I would make a statement at your next staff meeting, outlining your reasons, and that you are making up for the time your are investing in him directly during the day, with completing the work on your personal hours. I would do this to avoid any untrue rumors getting started and causing you undo harm to your and/or his reputation. I really hope you can find a way to make this work. It will not be an easy path for either of you, but since it really only affects you and him, making more work for you as a teacher, I believe you will prevail. You have sacrificed a lot to get to where you are, and have brought your kids into an area that has people from around the world all trying to make the world a better place. Well, that is all great and good, but not at the price of loosing site of your most important responsibility... your family. You must maintain your true self to help others. I would not want the principal of a school, full of missionaries children, to waver on her own belief system, just to avoid what people could 'possibly' think of them. That is in essence what missionaries do, to offer a new way of looking at things, to people who have never had the opportunity to see life outside of their own little island. Missionary work isn't for those who live in fear of what people think of them. I think you may get some flack for you choice, but ultimately, will get a lot of support, most likely... from the most unlikely people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Dd 2 (almost 3) has both tactile and auditory sensory issues. We have spent a year in therapy to make some progress, but the underlying issues are still a major part of our lives. DD10 gets migraines from stress. I think she is undiagnosed ADD, and her migraines tend to flare when she gets over scheduled. I used to work at a public school for homeschoolers. Dd 10 was in 1st/2nd grade then. After about a month of migraines every couple of days, I had to put her on a 1/2 day schedule too. This school was used to having custom schedules so they didn't have a problem with it though. It was structured like college. Parents picked what classes the kids attended. Classes were 1/2/3 days a week and the homework was done on the off days. I had her sit in a quiet area, and she had prearranged things to work on. I used my breaks to assist her, added a 1/2 hour to my work schedule so I could help her when needed without feeling like I was cheating my employer (all employees/teachers were paid hourly) and if she needed more help at times, I just added the corresponding time to the end of my day. I made sure that fellow employees knew that I was adjusting my work day accordingly, hopefully alleviating some hard feelings. So, after all that....I see your situation from the parent's side, not the principals, and can see how it would work if you tackle it gracefully. There are a few important things that I think smoothed the way for me. I came to the program as a homeschooler, everyone knew that. I was a parent the first year, until they offered me a job. Returning to this, made sense. When I talked to people about it, I always made sure they understood, we were only returning to what we already knew was the best for her. I made sure the teachers knew it was not them, but her unique personality that necessitated the change. That we wanted to try the full day curriculum, but after a month, it was becoming obvious that she wasn't adjusting and we needed to make a change. The easiest change, was to go back to what we already knew worked well for her. There were underlying academic issues too but I just left those alone. I didn't like the curriculum/instruction but that wasn't what this was about...it was about her, and her health issues. If she didn't have the issues, I still would have left her in the classes. I cleared it with the powers that be, before we made the change. I set it up as a month to month trial, and told them that if they would allow me to try it, and if any issues came up as a result, I would find a solution to the problem or different solution altogether. Any minor issues were quickly worked out, and never became bigger issues. One thing that we had to do was have her come to me for instruction, so I was still at my desk and accessible. A couple parents came to talk/ask questions and didn't like that I wasn't immediately accessible. Understandable, since they were on a schedule too, stopping in during office hours. Originally, I had it set up so I could just go to an area 20 feet away to help her, but once I had her start coming to me (except my break) the problem was resolved. She also had to get used to me starting a discussion with her, and having to stop mid-sentence to talk to an adult or answer the phone. I would give her subjects that required the least instructions, and gave her fun logic type puzzles to fill in her time if she got done early, either being done for the day or needing my help and me being unavailable. Honestly, in your situation, I think I would emphasis that you believe that your son really needs to go back to what he knows and loves...homeschool. I would mention that he has made so many significant changes coming here, and really misses homeschooling. That is one thing from home that you can offer him, and you want to do that for him. You will revisit the idea of full day classes next year. I would also mention that he really enjoys the school, and wants to stay for 1/2 days. While I would mention to his teacher that sensory issues are a concern during the remaining class time, I don't know if I would make it the reason. Getting labeled special needs in middle school, isn't always great on kids. People who don't understand sensory issues, can spread rumors that he is delayed or that his issues aren't 'real'. People who haven't dealt with sensory issues, don't usually get how debilitating they are. Kids deal with so much as middle schoolers, I would not want to add something for kids to pick on him about. If parents get wind of the sensory issues, and don't understand them, they will pass bad information onto the kids, and then the kids can use that misinformation to torture your son. When you discuss this with anyone, I would make sure to bring up that you thing all children are unique and that if any parent finds a solution to a problem their child is having, that you would always do your best to support the parent and child. If anyone tries to make a correlation between his departure from class and your implementing change within the school, I would simply state 'the two issues are not related, we are simply returning to what he knows and loves. It is just what is right for him'. I would always bring every conversation regarding this back to that point. If the school is big on rumors/gossip, I would make a statement at your next staff meeting, outlining your reasons, and that you are making up for the time your are investing in him directly during the day, with completing the work on your personal hours. I would do this to avoid any untrue rumors getting started and causing you undo harm to your and/or his reputation. I really hope you can find a way to make this work. It will not be an easy path for either of you, but since it really only affects you and him, making more work for you as a teacher, I believe you will prevail. You have sacrificed a lot to get to where you are, and have brought your kids into an area that has people from around the world all trying to make the world a better place. Well, that is all great and good, but not at the price of loosing site of your most important responsibility... your family. You must maintain your true self to help others. I would not want the principal of a school, full of missionaries children, to waver on her own belief system, just to avoid what people could 'possibly' think of them. That is in essence what missionaries do, to offer a new way of looking at things, to people who have never had the opportunity to see life outside of their own little island. Missionary work isn't for those who live in fear of what people think of them. I think you may get some flack for you choice, but ultimately, will get a lot of support, most likely... from the most unlikely people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 :confused: Her younger son does not have the sensory issues and is loving school ("we are keeping the little guy there all day.") It is the older one who has sensory integration challenges and so is completely spent/overwhelmed by the end of the day. Hope that helps your confusion. Julie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 Dd 2 (almost 3) has both tactile and auditory sensory issues. We have spent a year in therapy to make some progress, but the underlying issues are still a major part of our lives. DD10 gets migraines from stress. I think she is undiagnosed ADD, and her migraines tend to flare when she gets over scheduled. I used to work at a public school for homeschoolers. Dd 10 was in 1st/2nd grade then. After about a month of migraines every couple of days, I had to put her on a 1/2 day schedule too. This school was used to having custom schedules so they didn't have a problem with it though. It was structured like college. Parents picked what classes the kids attended. Classes were 1/2/3 days a week and the homework was done on the off days. I had her sit in a quiet area, and she had prearranged things to work on. I used my breaks to assist her, added a 1/2 hour to my work schedule so I could help her when needed without feeling like I was cheating my employer (all employees/teachers were paid hourly) and if she needed more help at times, I just added the corresponding time to the end of my day. I made sure that fellow employees knew that I was adjusting my work day accordingly, hopefully alleviating some hard feelings. So, after all that....I see your situation from the parent's side, not the principals, and can see how it would work if you tackle it gracefully. There are a few important things that I think smoothed the way for me. I came to the program as a homeschooler, everyone knew that. I was a parent the first year, until they offered me a job. Returning to this, made sense. When I talked to people about it, I always made sure they understood, we were only returning to what we already knew was the best for her. I made sure the teachers knew it was not them, but her unique personality that necessitated the change. That we wanted to try the full day curriculum, but after a month, it was becoming obvious that she wasn't adjusting and we needed to make a change. The easiest change, was to go back to what we already knew worked well for her. There were underlying academic issues too but I just left those alone. I didn't like the curriculum/instruction but that wasn't what this was about...it was about her, and her health issues. If she didn't have the issues, I still would have left her in the classes. I cleared it with the powers that be, before we made the change. I set it up as a month to month trial, and told them that if they would allow me to try it, and if any issues came up as a result, I would find a solution to the problem or different solution altogether. Any minor issues were quickly worked out, and never became bigger issues. One thing that we had to do was have her come to me for instruction, so I was still at my desk and accessible. A couple parents came to talk/ask questions and didn't like that I wasn't immediately accessible. Understandable, since they were on a schedule too, stopping in during office hours. Originally, I had it set up so I could just go to an area 20 feet away to help her, but once I had her start coming to me (except my break) the problem was resolved. She also had to get used to me starting a discussion with her, and having to stop mid-sentence to talk to an adult or answer the phone. I would give her subjects that required the least instructions, and gave her fun logic type puzzles to fill in her time if she got done early, either being done for the day or needing my help and me being unavailable. Honestly, in your situation, I think I would emphasis that you believe that your son really needs to go back to what he knows and loves...homeschool. I would mention that he has made so many significant changes coming here, and really misses homeschooling. That is one thing from home that you can offer him, and you want to do that for him. You will revisit the idea of full day classes next year. I would also mention that he really enjoys the school, and wants to stay for 1/2 days. While I would mention to his teacher that sensory issues are a concern during the remaining class time, I don't know if I would make it the reason. Getting labeled special needs in middle school, isn't always great on kids. People who don't understand sensory issues, can spread rumors that he is delayed or that his issues aren't 'real'. People who haven't dealt with sensory issues, don't usually get how debilitating they are. Kids deal with so much as middle schoolers, I would not want to add something for kids to pick on him about. If parents get wind of the sensory issues, and don't understand them, they will pass bad information onto the kids, and then the kids can use that misinformation to torture your son. When you discuss this with anyone, I would make sure to bring up that you thing all children are unique and that if any parent finds a solution to a problem their child is having, that you would always do your best to support the parent and child. If anyone tries to make a correlation between his departure from class and your implementing change within the school, I would simply state 'the two issues are not related, we are simply returning to what he knows and loves. It is just what is right for him'. I would always bring every conversation regarding this back to that point. If the school is big on rumors/gossip, I would make a statement at your next staff meeting, outlining your reasons, and that you are making up for the time your are investing in him directly during the day, with completing the work on your personal hours. I would do this to avoid any untrue rumors getting started and causing you undo harm to your and/or his reputation. I really hope you can find a way to make this work. It will not be an easy path for either of you, but since it really only affects you and him, making more work for you as a teacher, I believe you will prevail. You have sacrificed a lot to get to where you are, and have brought your kids into an area that has people from around the world all trying to make the world a better place. Well, that is all great and good, but not at the price of loosing site of your most important responsibility... your family. You must maintain your true self to help others. I would not want the principal of a school, full of missionaries children, to waver on her own belief system, just to avoid what people could 'possibly' think of them. That is in essence what missionaries do, to offer a new way of looking at things, to people who have never had the opportunity to see life outside of their own little island. Missionary work isn't for those who live in fear of what people think of them. I think you may get some flack for you choice, but ultimately, will get a lot of support, most likely... from the most unlikely people. Thank you so much for posting all this. It is clear and well thought out and I hope you don't mind if I borrow some of your lines when I talk to them today! :D This is exactly what I needed to read right before I speak with them. Wish me luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Good luck with the meeting Heather. I can completely understand your frustration. Your sons teacher sounds very inflexible and my son would be reacting much like yours I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Here are a couple more details: 1. I cannot realistically afterschool. We tried it at first. He has TONS of homework that takes him right up until bedtime every night. We have NO "family" time. It is school, piano, dinner, homework, bed. 2. Another reason we want to cut the school day in half is because my son has pretty severe sensory integration issues...always has. I thought it had gotten better, and in some ways it has, but really he just wasn't in a situation where those issues were a problem. Now that he is back in a large group situation for 8 hours a day, they are rearing their ugly head again. He has a great deal of trouble blocking out ANY sensory input to focus on his work. This is another reason why he has so much homework and why it takes him so long. I am thinking we might have made a mistake putting him in for a full day to begin with. Maybe we should have eased him in? 3. I went to college to become a teacher before I was married and had children. After teaching for several years, then getting married and having a special needs child, I realized that homeschooling, for my family, is the best way to educate. So even though I continued to work in the ps field, my own children were going to have the best I could give them. So I could pull this off by blaming it entirely on Kyle's special needs and not bring up the issues I have with their curriculum. Also, I don't want to sacrifice the best education I could give him while I help this school bring their curriculum up to par. If I wasn't willing to do it before then I why am I willing to do it now? Because I work here? Where do my loyalties lie? Where SHOULD they lie? That is what I am struggling with right now. I am excited about the possibilities for the school and I am excited to lead this project but we are talking about a 5-year plan in order to revamp all curriculum k-12 (ideas come fast, change comes slowly). My son will be close to graduating by then. :confused: be the mom for your child and the principal for your school -- in that order. You can change quickly to meet your child's needs as a parent. I wouldn't use your son's needs as the reason because of how he might begin to perceive himself. I would come up with a nebulous response that doesn't really say in detail how much or why but that's rambling. Bottom line you don't need to defend your decision to anyone. Isn't that "pass the bean dip?" But I would come up with a way that doesn't just hang it all out there for the world to observe daily. Is there a better location for him to do school that doesn't make this transition so obvious? Maybe at the semester break a change? Be the mom your son needs and the principal your school needs. They're separate issues IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 "If you have tried homeschooling part-time (especially if your child has special needs), how did that work for you?" Thank you for clarifying your question. What you're describing ~ if he simply sat by himself for three hours doing school work ~ isn't, to my mind, homeschooling. Seems like having him at home, rather than at the school, would make more sense.I do truly appreciate all input whether I agree with it or not. Thanks Bill (aka voice of reason :D) :confused:I'm sorry if those of us who voiced disagreement with your proposed plan strike you as unreasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 :confused:I'm sorry if those of us who voiced disagreement with your proposed plan strike you as unreasonable. I actually think that Bill sounded reasonable simply because he was able to read through the whole thread before responding. Heather's reasons for taking her son out seemed completely different from the beginning of the thread to the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I actually think that Bill sounded reasonable simply because he was able to read through the whole thread before responding. Heather's reasons for taking her son out seemed completely different from the beginning of the thread to the end. :iagree: The complexity (or should we say simplicity?) of the situation became clearer as the thread unfolded. Were the issue not being able to abide the curriculum choices of the school, I'd have been in the "it will look bad camp". I just got lucky on the timing issue. :D Bill (born lucky :tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 7, 2009 Author Share Posted September 7, 2009 Thank you for clarifying your question. What you're describing ~ if he simply sat by himself for three hours doing school work ~ isn't, to my mind, homeschooling. Seems like having him at home, rather than at the school, would make more sense.:confused:I'm sorry if those of us who voiced disagreement with your proposed plan strike you as unreasonable. Oh for goodness sake... it was a JOKE. Women, myself included, get all emotional and snarky and defensive ,etc., etc. on MANY threads and every so often Bill pipes in with this calm, right to the point post and it strikes me as funny. Especially since he is the only man chiming in on a thread full of women. It was a JOKE, hence the big cheesy grin after my sentence to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 LOL!! Thanks Bill for the perfect timing! Heather, I'm sorry for my long ramble... I truly did not mean to hurt your feelings. Hope all goes well with the meeting! Hang in there! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 I just waded through all these pages. Do it. Pull him out for a half day. You are right. You are right. You are right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 I just wondered how you got on Heather? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 8, 2009 Author Share Posted September 8, 2009 I just wondered how you got on Heather? see post where I talk about all the bad decisions I have made lately and you will see why I am frozen with indecision. :tongue_smilie: I did meet with the special services guy. Pulling Kyle out half a day and keeping him on campus is an option and after all my worrying he really didn't even blink at the suggestion (which is a relief to know). But he basically pleaded with me not to do it yet. He wants me to give him a chance to work with Kyle first. He really likes Kyle and wants to help him. And Kyle keeps going back and forth over what he wants (usually based on how that day went for him). aaaarrrrgggghhhh. It's good to know I have the option and I won't get fired for it and they basically were like "sure you can do that!" So if we work with the special services department for a while and it still isn't working out then I have my plan B. Thank you for asking :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Yay! It sounds like you have someone to work with you towards what is best for Kyle, that's brilliant :) I'll go read the other thread now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 I'm glad that you have options and his teacher is trying to work things out, hopefully it will go better for him. (And, now that I have the full picture, agree that if you pull him out, that's a good decision.) Good luck over there, that's a lot of change and a lot of things going on in a short period of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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