Should I pull DD2 out of PS?

[jhallworth]

Hello! I could use some advice from those who have been where I am. I am just starting hs-ing this year with my 9 year-old. I also have two little ones at home: age 2 and 8 months. Being new at this, I'm worried about fitting it all in. Enter my 6 year old soon-to-be 1st grader. She has expressed some interest in staying home and I also am not particularly excited about her teacher this year. She is a bright little girl and the teacher she got will not challenge her without me being "in her face" weekly, which I do not have time for.

 

My question is, should I pull DD2 out of PS before we even get going in the school year? Should I at least try PS? I'm nervous about my time scheduling if I do pull her out since handling one hs-er with two small ones seems daunting enough for my first year at this. DD2 went to PS Kindergarten and loved it, particularly the social aspect. It's hard to read a 6yo when their world is all about now and never looking long-term.

 

Has anyone out there had success with mixing hs-ing with ps?

[Lovedtodeath]

I just want to say that pulling your DD out mid year at 6 will not teach her to be a quitter! She is 6 and it sounds like making her stay is not a priority in your family. I pulled my DD out of K and got some flack for it, but DH and I were firm with our decision, so the flack didn't bother any of us in the least.

[flyingmommy]

We tried this with our first year of homeschooling. However, I didn't have any littles. I had a 1st grader still in PS and my 6th grader was home. My 1st grader became more and more unhappy as the year progressed because she wanted to stay home, too. Fortunately for her, the school started ticking me off more and more so I ended up pulling her out in Feb of that year. These days, she can't understand why any kid would want to go to public school. LOL

 

I honestly thought it would be a lot harder than it turned out to be. School for a first grader does not take long and it was easily done in between other things. If you truly think you will be overwhelmed, you might just leave her there, at least for a few months. On the other hand, if your ultimate goal is to have all your children home, it might be easier to just bite the bullet and pull her out now.

 

J

[Melissa in FL]

I would keep her home. Honestly, I think it's easier to have them all home (as long as they are not fighting the homeschooling) than to be dealing with the public school all the time. Since you are new to homeschooling, you know how much time a child in public school takes. There are always obligations, homework, and trying to stay on top of what is happening in the school. Homeschooling all of them will probably be much more relaxing. Each has it's good days and bad. But I think it is easier to have the whole house on the same schedule. You may find yourself letting the kids sleep longer or stay up later and it will be simpler if they can all be on the same routine. Trying to do both may pull you more in different directions. The needs of kids in ps is slightly different than those homeschooling. You also won't have to worry about being home from homeschool events in time to pick up your dd2. Hope this helps

Melissa

[Lovedtodeath]

This is a homeschooling board so I am guessing that if you wanted people to tell you to keep him in ps you wouldn't post here..... I'll actually go read you post now but I thought I should just point out that your responses will be predictable to say the least ;)

LOL! I was thinking the same thing. We have quite a few here with kids in PS though... if they are brave enough to speak up.

[gardening momma]

A first grader and second grader will be able to do all content subjects together and if she is bright maybe even things like grammar and spelling can be done mostly together so that there is quite a lot of overlap.

The 9 yo is more likely a 4th grader.

[hsmom27]

I say pull her now. Last year, I kept my 1st grader home and sent my K'er to PS. It was a gigantic pain. I had to get all the kids up early and walk DS to school, and then interrupt our day to go back and pick him up in the afternoon. It made field trips practically impossible. I also had to do quick junky breakfasts and 2 different lunches every day. Plus I had to put up with all the parents of the PSers saying, "Are you crazy? Why on earth would you want to homeschool?" This year, everybody stays home and they all very definitely want to be home.

[Brooke3193]

I'm as new to hsing as you are, so take this with a grain of salt. I have a 3rd grader in ps and am hsing a 1st grader and have 2 littles at home. Here are my thoughts:

 

It's a trade off. I sometimes wonder how anyone could hs more than one child...how they find the time to select curriculum, plan and teach AND how it all gets coordinated so that each child is productive even when it is not their time with the parent. It seems impossible. :)

 

But, then, other times, I am frustrated that I don't have the freedom that other hser's have because I have one in ps. We can't do extra-curriculurs during the day unless I want to drive each of them separately (um, no). We have to be awake and in bed by certain times. I "have" to match the ps schedule in terms of which days we take off, which days we have special celebrations, the amount and types of rewards I give for doing work, etc.

 

If it was my choice, I would pull my other dd. Some of that is my belief in where she belongs and some that is the convenience of not being so controlled by the ps.

 

Last thing...remember that whatever you decide, it's not forever. You can always change your mind if it isn't working.

[enlarsh]

If it were me, I'd go ahead and pull her out. Right now is the honeymoon period with the teacher, it's not likely to get better and your dd is so young that you want her to enjoy learning and not dreading school.

 

I agree with the other posters about schedules--particularly naptime for the little ones. (I'm known as the Nap Nazi in my house ;).)

 

I guess the other question is, why did you choose hs for your older son and were you considering hs for your ds in the future?

[Lovedtodeath]

Oh yes our experiment with PS did wreak havoc on DS' naps.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh yes our experiment with PS did wreak havoc on DS' naps.

 

"wreak havoc" - way to go Carmen!

[Lovedtodeath]

 

"wreak havoc" - way to go Carmen!

LOL! I learn something new on these boards everyday. Though, did PS reek havoc too? :001_huh::lol:

[chiguirre]

Hello! I could use some advice from those who have been where I am. I am just starting hs-ing this year with my 9 year-old. I also have two little ones at home: age 2 and 8 months.

 

My oldest goes to private school and it does require stricter scheduling of our hsing, especially field trips and outside classes. In your case, I'd consider keeping your 6yo home and have your dds take turns playing with your 2yo for 20-30 minutes while the other does school.

[jhallworth]

Thanks for all of your suggestions. I realize that most people would tend to vote to pull her (thanks for noting the probable bias of this forum :)

 

I am pulling DD1 this year due to the fact that she was completely bored and unchallenged in ps. I started to see her get lazy and make careless mistakes. Her desire to learn was beginning to wane. Her personality is such that I didn't think she would miss being around her peers all day long, she likes to be home. DD2 is much more social and I wonder if she would be bored at home, or always begging for a playdate.

 

The good part is, with one in 5th grade and one in 1st, they line up with the history and science studies (topic-wise).

 

I have thought that if we have a good year (at least better than ps) this year, I would pull dd2 out anyway next year. It's one of those things of I don't know if we will do well at home, so I don't want to disrupt everyone right away if I don't have to. I just want DD2 to be happy and I wish I knew what would make her happy.

 

I really like the suggestion that I can always pull her out mid-year. Perhaps that is the way I will go for this year: keep her in ps and listen to her as we move through the year.

 

Thanks again!

[Gretchen in NJ]

This is a homeschooling board so I am guessing that if you wanted people to tell you to keep her in ps you wouldn't post here..... I'll actually go read you post now but I thought I should just point out that your responses will be predictable to say the least ;)

 

Now that I actually read your post... Having one kid at home and one at school is just asking for a headache. I'm doing it this year and not looking forward to that. If you have them both at home you can live life on your schedule and fit in her schooling when it fits, not on the schedule of some bureaucrat. A first grader and second grader will be able to do all content subjects together and if she is bright maybe even things like grammar and spelling can be done mostly together so that there is quite a lot of overlap. Having a child in ps is a lot of work as well and unless there are extreme circumstances I think it is better to have control over the how and when of that work.

 

One of the most beautiful things about homeschooling is not having to interrupts nap time to do the school run. Don't deprive yourself of that benefit!

:iagree: My girls are a year apart school age. I started with a 1st and a 2nd grader my first year homeschooling. I am able to teach most subjects on the same level: grammar, history, art, science, Latin, etc... I only teach math, reading, and spelling on two different levels. Writing used to be on two different levels, but this year they will both be the same. My younger child has caught up to my older one. Now that I think about, I could do everything on the same level except for Mathematics.

 

Another one of the most beautiful things about homeschooling is your children bonding more closely together with their time together at home. Public school tends to divide families where homeschooling brings them closer together.

[Gretchen in NJ]

Thanks for all of your suggestions. I realize that most people would tend to vote to pull her (thanks for noting the probable bias of this forum :)

 

I am pulling DD1 this year due to the fact that she was completely bored and unchallenged in ps. I started to see her get lazy and make careless mistakes. Her desire to learn was beginning to wane. Her personality is such that I didn't think she would miss being around her peers all day long, she likes to be home. DD2 is much more social and I wonder if she would be bored at home, or always begging for a playdate.

 

The good part is, with one in 5th grade and one in 1st, they line up with the history and science studies (topic-wise).

 

I have thought that if we have a good year (at least better than ps) this year, I would pull dd2 out anyway next year. It's one of those things of I don't know if we will do well at home, so I don't want to disrupt everyone right away if I don't have to. I just want DD2 to be happy and I wish I knew what would make her happy.

 

I really like the suggestion that I can always pull her out mid-year. Perhaps that is the way I will go for this year: keep her in ps and listen to her as we move through the year.

 

Thanks again!

Your dear daughters would have a play date everyday with each other.;)

[....]

As far as homeschooling with smaller siblings...

 

I am hsing a 7 year-old and 6 year-old. We also have a 4 year-old and 1 year-old. Everyone thought I had lost my mind, too. It's not really as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, we're having a great time. You've gotta get a lot done during naptime.

[Chris in VA]

I started homeschooling with one in K, one in 9th grade, and a middle child in 8th grade, who went to public school. Now, my situation is vastly different, because of the substance abuse issues of the middle child.

What we noticed, tho, was that Sky became more and more isolated from the family. This was related to the sb issues, but exacerbated by the fact that he went to ps. He has told us that everyone else would talk about what had happened at home while he was at school, and he had no context for the little inside jokes and references we'd mention at the dinner table. He felt very separated from us. I don't know if your child, at 6, might feel the same way, but I would be on guard for it.

 

As far as you wanting her to be happy, please don't make that your highest goal. Let her own her own happiness, and let it be a byproduct of what you offer her. You can only provide and control her environment at this point--she has to decide to be happy or not. Imo, your quest should be for what will allow her to develop and grow into a fine, non-self-centered, kind and wise person.

 

It is not hard to homeschool two at the same time. Challenging, occasionally, but heck, it's challenging to homeschool one sometimes! :D Imo, it would be easier for your 6 yo to stay with you. There are numerous opportunities for get togethers, social stuff, etc., if you look around. It just makes SO much in your life easier! And yes, the suggestion to have your 6 and your 9 take care of the littles for 15-20 minutes each, so you can work with them individually makes total sense.

 

I'd encourage you to START with homeschooling, then go back to PS if it isn't working.

[ConnieB]

Well, you ARE talking to a bunch of homeschoolers, so of course we're going to encourage you to keep her home, lol. BUT....here are some things to consider:

 

Your post count says you are either new here, or that you were a lurker. If you're new, consider that you came and posted here, instead of going to a board with other public schoolers asking for help on how to handle a less than adequate teacher. Perhaps your heart already knows what you want and you came here hoping for confirmation (which we HAPPILY give you). Of course, maybe you also posted elsewhere, and I'm way off base, lol.

 

Also consider that as a Kindergartener your daughter is in the most vulnerable stage of developing her feelings towards school and learning. If she loves her early years of learning the chances of that following her through the years and into the tumultuous teen years is much better. If instead she learns to hate school....well, a lot of people on this board can talk to you about how it takes years and sometimes, never happens to change a child's attitude about learning. Personally, I think that learning to enjoy learning is as important as any other subject I will teach my children. A love of learning will last a lifetime, even after I'm not their teacher anymore, and should guide them to continue wanting to learn throughout adulthood. The lack of a love of learning means a dismal school career, and an adult who never wants to learn anything more. A poor teacher, or even a good teacher but one that mommy has to argue with each week is NOT going to facilitate that positive feeling. A loving Mom showing DD how wonderful learning can be....even amid a bit of chaos wins hands down.

 

Another thing to consider....she's a Kindergartener. What's the worst case scenario? You try to homeschool both your children with the littles underfoot and worst case it's a failure. So next year you put your daughter in school.....believe me, she'll catch up and you'll never realize that you had this blip on the radar. BUT...the best case scenario....things are a little bumpy to start while you, and they, find the right schedule, the right mix and things go wonderfully. You wonder why you ever doubted yourself.

 

Ok, reality is that it will be somewhere in between. But you really have little to lose. And everything to gain.

 

Your children will become closer than you ever imagined siblings could, and built in playmates so none of the kids lack someone to play with. And, if you really want outside friends, I'm sure your community has at least one, and more likely several, homeschool groups that you can do park days, playdates, field trips, co-ops, and just plain have fun time together.

 

You'll never know until you try.

[Ellie]

I wonder if she would be bored at home, or always begging for a playdate.

She'll only beg for a playdate if you allow her to beg.

 

I really like the suggestion that I can always pull her out mid-year. Perhaps that is the way I will go for this year: keep her in ps and listen to her as we move through the year.

You know, if you leave her in until mid-year and then take her out, you might have to do lots of remediating and recovery.

 

She's little. If she were mine, I'd take her out.

[phathui5]

Should I at least try PS?

 

I think you should at least try homeschooling. Pull her out, give it till Christmas break and see how it's going. I think homeschooling is a great choice for bright kids, as I was bored as heck in school and got in trouble often because of it.

[sandellie4]

I'd take her out of ps in a heartbeat. I've done both hs and ps at the same time, and I have one in ps high school right now, and I DESPISE dealing with all the garbage from the ps and having it cut into my time and energy for hs planning -- the teacher reluctant to listen to anything I have to say, the mounds of paperwork that eat up my time, the busywork that comes home and demands attention EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I only allowed the ps for the high school child because she really wanted it, is very independent (so I don't have a lot of ps-related issues to deal with), and is single-minded about what she wants from her life and for her future. She's doing fine (though I'd bring her home tomorrow if she decided to do that!), but I've regretted it for younger children at certain times of our lives (thinking the special needs services would make it worth it, etc. -- NOT).

 

On the other hand, when we did have a younger here and there in ps, they learned to HATE it, and they don't ever, ever ask to go back again! It's the ones who've never been in ps who wonder if they're missing anything sometimes. :tongue_smilie:

 

Also, probably the most important factor in my mind, is that the younger learning years are so fleeting, and to have a ps situation that can diminish the joy of learning is so discouraging when you have to clean up the mess later.

 

It IS harder to homeschool with younger children in the house -- I did that and it was definitely a challenge. But I look back and I don't regret one moment of it, just as I don't look back on the terrible twos and wish I never had children. I had to spend a lot of energy maximizing my available time, making the most of everyday learning opportunities, and making a strong effort to arrange constructive social activities (I'm not naturally social...I'd homeschool in a cave if my children didn't need more than that from me). I always felt like I wasn't keeping up, that my kids were behind. But my typically developing children are way ahead of other kids, now that they're older, and my special needs kids are much, much more THEMSELVES and maximizing what they CAN do than many of the ps special needs students we see in our neighborhood and at church.

 

Just my 2 cents and remember, like others have said, you can always change your mind, whatever you decide. Nothing is set in stone. If you decide on ps and this teacher just becomes more and more intractable and your dd is unhappy, you can always take your dd out.

 

Sandy