What to do with a 4yo who is continually wanting to "do my work?"

[TulaneMama]

DD, who turned 4 the beginning of June is insistent on doing school daily, morning to night. I have purchased some materials for her and we are working through them but it just doesn;t seem to be enough for her.

 

I have:

 

BFIAR

HWOT Pre-K

MUS Primer

OPGTR

Mind Benders A1 (the first one for littles - i think that is it)

 

and we are learning our colors and doing workbook pages and playing (though I often have to get her to play while I am doing work with DS because she wants to join us and do her own work) and she joins her brother for science experiments as her interests allows

 

I think this is plenty. This desire has developed on its own. At first I thought it was cute but now it almost gets in the way AND i want her to get back into play. She has a fantastic imagination, is wonderful playing alon or with her sister and is a natural born "player" (if that makes snese to anyone).

 

So what do I do with her? :lol: I do not necessarily think that the work is too easy for her. She can not read yet, however she wants to go go go, even if she ishaving a hard time and is frustrated. I tell her we can stop and lets go play house, or dollies, or build with the clay, or go outside and play in the sand table (and I tellher I will go with her so I do not think it has to do with Mommy Time) but she literally insists on doing school.

 

As sad as it sounds, her love of learning is draining me!!!!! :confused:

[Karen in CO]

that's "Me too, school"

I moved our dollhouse into the dining where near the table where I do school with her sister. I rotate blocks and other semi-educational things through the shelves in the area. I also have a collection of puzzles that she can choose from. I give her art supplies, and if she wants, words to copy to keep her busy during school time. She has a math book and and handwriting book she can do during school time, but I alternate between her and her sister. I make sure that she isn't just coming to join us so that she can interupt and steal one of us away to play with her.

 

Now if it's the oldest and is wanting "school" all day - then that's a whole 'nuther problem. Then I'd set a schedule for reading, art, whatever and when its done, put away the stuff and let her help you with whatever else you would have been doing. My little ones quickly get tired of helping with laundry and cleaning, but they do it and it is better for all of us than me being their toy for the day. Make sure you make plenty of time for nature walks. It easier to get them to play if you are actively engaged in something constructive otherwise they will insist that you entertain them - which isn't my full-time job.

[Sue G in PA]

The great thing about this age is that anything can be schoolwork to them! As the pp said, puzzles, art supplies, workbooks, coloring books, pattern blocks, cuisenaire rods with the cuisenaire alphabet book, teddy bear counters or whatever you have...you get the picture. Have you tried the workbox system? Perhaps you could get a few inexpensive plastic shoeboxes to fill with an activity for each one and tell her that is her "work" for the day. Once the boxes are empty her "work" is over and then she can play. I know I'll get tomatoes thrown at me, but how about some ed. DVD's? Letter Factor and Word Factory are among my dd3's favorites! She could watch them for hours. I know it is draining. My dd(almost 4) is the same way. Whenever ds6 does his work, she must do her "work" too. We are starting MFWK with her this year. She can already read CVC words and I don't want to hold her back. But, I want her to have plenty of "unstructured" play time as well. It's all about balance, I think. Ohhh...legos, box filled with craft supplies for her to assemble as she wishes, dress up stuff?, etc. Have fun!

[Quad Shot Academy]

Both of my little ones are like that, but I just can't indulge it for the sake of my sanity and the older kid's work. I keep to a fairly regular schedule so that they know the order of our days. I would prefer to work with them in the afternoon, but they just won't let it go until I work with them, so I do it first thing.

 

They each have a bag with coloring books and flash cards and they do each thing once. I also get a pile of extras like puzzles, games and books for me to read. When they are done with their work, they get a small treat and then have to go play. They can't come back and do more work. Usually my 3yo spends about 20 minutes and my almost 5yo about 45.

 

9-10 little ones school

10-11 little ones play

11 lunch and play time with big kids

12 leap frog DVD

1 fun TV

2 play or nap time

 

HTH!

[Pamela H in Texas]

My own daughter drove me batty. What I did:

 

1) buy curriculum to be more formal for a little bit each day (you have that)

2) buy materials she could do independently (folder games, walmart workbooks, mazes/puzzles, etc)

3) encourage her to teach her dolls/stuffed animals (the practice is good for her but puts HER in charge)

4) she used the computer

 

The other thing was that I set a time limit for mommy involvement. Now, a lot of people would highly disagree with this, but my daughter was absolutely exhausting. At 4, she was easily on a 4th grade level and she just kept PUSHING me. I had a special needs child and it was just too much. By the time she was 5, I had FIVE children, four of them 2 and under (and was crazy enough to watch a 2yo also!). Doing school with her all day just wasn't an option. It did help that she was able to read well enough to do a lot more independently than most 4yos, but...And she had an AWESOME imagination. She had lots of imaginary friends she "partied" with very regularly. She made up stories, taught them, had the older ones teach her things I wouldn't <sigh>, etc.

 

Oh, another option may be to give her a small tape recorder. She can use it one of a few ways (or try it all). She could tell stories into it. Maybe you could, if you had time, type it up for her later in each day (if you type pretty fast). If she does several stories, maybe she needs to have one she adds to that you will transcribe but the others are just for her listening pleasure. She could also record observations like a newsperson or scientist.

 

Also, she will need plenty of interaction, natural and interest based learning, etc. That is the age. What would you do if she weren't going to be a homeschooled student? Those things are still important. Parents of 4yos generally spend a lot of time in conversation, on walks, outside, cooking, doing playdough, etc. Reading your post, I see that she just really likes schoolwork as a method also. Some kids just ARE more schoolish from the get-go! But sometimes we can talk them into believing the walk is schoolwork too (explain the science of brain-body connection and how exercise makes the brain work better). We can show how cooking IS school just as much as filling out a workbook page is (probably moreso in reality). Legos and playdough are too, btw! You may just need to frame each thing a little differently. It also could be that she thrives on structure. ALL kids do, but some to a much greater degree. In that case, simply "assigning" shaving cream play or learning to ride a bike at a certain time each day will help. Also, then YOU know when the expectation will be fulfilled so you don't feel the need to cater to her every second of the day.

 

Hope this helps a little....

[TulaneMama]

thanks for the advcince on framing the activities Pamela. we have a very large school room and there are all sorts of educational play toys inthere. There are books, puzzles, math cubes, math bears, a scale, colored disks, chalkboards, chalk, coloring books (an art center) a computer, lacing tasks, tannagrams and pattern blocks, a view finder, and so on....

 

I think that we have more than enough activities for her to do next to us (and her room is next to the school room as well) but after reading what you wrote it resonates with me that perhaps it is all in my framing of the activity.

[Tree House Academy]

My immediate answer: Box her up and send her to those of us who have a 6 year old who "hates doing school." ;)

[TulaneMama]

:lol: no way jose!!! I have a 10yo who is the EXACT opposite. I am actually looking forward to the day when we really do get into a school groove!

[FO4UR]

I've got a 4yo like that! I'm always trying to think up things that are "schoolish" and simple...and yet take her a good long while to complete:tongue_smilie: Giving her a C rod and asking her to find several ways to = that rod, and then coloring it on paper works for a while. Sorting word cards into families/by phonograms keeps her busy for a few minutes.

 

I've been trying to get her into more "handicraft" type things. She doesn't like to do things if she knows the main goal is to keep her out of the way so her big brother can school.:glare:

[johnandtinagilbert]

Great advice already given...the only thing left out is...write this down :) it will serve as encouragement to you and her. May she continue to love learning all of your days!

[Truscifi]

Since you said you want her to get back to more play, you could try 'assigning' more fun projects. For example, if you have started history with your older, pick a related craft project, game, etc for younger to do, then show you when it is completed. Or have her make up a story, or a skit, then tell it to you at a time you set.

 

Also you could assign independent reading time. I know you said she isn't reading yet but you can get picture books for pre readers from the library, and have her read them in her room for a set time (maybe use a timer if she doesn't like to stay in her room) then come tell you about the book.

 

Just my .02 ;)

[TulaneMama]

great advice already given...the only thing left out is...write this down :) it will serve as encouragement to you and her. May she continue to love learning all of your days!

 

i totally agree! :)

[skaterbabs]

She sounds like Dot when we first started homeschooling Yacko. We started with workbooks from the dollar store and she took off like a rocket. I wish we had discovered CLE last year because she would have devoured the 100 level like candy (oh, wait, she's doing that now! LOL)

 

CLE has a few nice preschool things, and I believe the 100 level math is certainly gentle enough for a 4 yo.

[Susie in MS]

I think you have received some wonderful advice.

 

Have you considered bumping her up to FIAR? There is a world of diff between the two levels and my 4 yo is eating it up. There is so much more to do with FIAR.

[christielee7278]

I made these and these for my pre-k'ner and k'ner. Hoping, between those and a LeapFrog video, they will give me enough time to work with my oldest. =)

[Susie in MS]

I made these and these for my pre-k'ner and k'ner. Hoping, between those and a LeapFrog video, they will give me enough time to work with my oldest. =)

 

Those are really cool!

Where did you get the pritables that look like dominoes? I have been wanting to buy some dominoes but this would be a cheap version.

[Susie in MS]

Oh I found these printable dominoes and the worksheet that goes with them! It is EXACTLY what I have been looking for!

 

http://www.first-school.ws/THEME/printables/dominoes-math.htm

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

How about doing lapbooks or scrapbooks along with B4FIAR? My kids will be doing a combination of FIAR and B4FIAR and we'll be doing a scrapbook along with it. This is mostly for my K dd, but ds might do a shorter version if he wishes. Have you looked at http://www.homeschoolshare.com ? There are tons of fun ideas for lapbooks and other activities that go along with the B4FIAR books (as well as lots of other books and topics).

 

Encourage her to act out the stories that you read or give her other pretend play ideas. Asking her to teach her toys is an excellent idea (I think someone already suggested this).

 

We love math manipulatives here. The kids use them for sorting, making pretend soup, etc. Our favorites are Funtastic Frogs (you can buy activity cards to go along with these), bucket balance, and geoboards. You can also have workbooks or pages printed from online available for her to use when she wishes.

[TulaneMama]

I think you have received some wonderful advice.

 

Have you considered bumping her up to FIAR? There is a world of diff between the two levels and my 4 yo is eating it up. There is so much more to do with FIAR.

 

actually I have. I think BFIAR is not challenging enough for here. We have read most of the books already before evensgtartingb BFIAR. I somehome got rid of FIAR many years ago and wish I still had it now.