Anyone else homeschooling just one?

[BettyL]

This will be my first year homeschooling my dd. Any advice or great words of wisdom for homeschooling just one?

[kalanamak]

I am trying to encourage independent school work whenever possible, because I know if he had sibs, he'd have to "wait his turn". Don't let him dawdle and take up all your time. I try to make his dawdles have consequences for *him*. I do feel I need to play more cards and boardgames than my folks did, because I got to play them with sibs.

[Lovedtodeath]

don't have another.:D (see ages of mine)

[JudyJudyJudy]

I'm homeschooling just one child. He's 10. We've enjoyed homeschooling and have had no regrets.

[Rainbows]

technically Im only homeschooling my first grader this year.....but little brother will be doing as much or as little pre-k school work as he wants also (don't have any real goals for him though since he is only 3)

[TCoppock]

I homeschool just one too. My advice is to try and find a balance when it comes to socialization. ;) The first year I homeschooled I drove an hour and a half to go to co-op classes. We also crammed in music lessons, park group, gymnastics, and swim team. Yikes!

 

Another mistake I made at first was always being around to answer DS's questions. I was making it too easy on him. Now I require him to try and find the answer for himself and even when he is unsuccessful at first I show him where to find it rather than just giving it to him.

 

I'm sure others will have more advice. Homeschooling is a wonderful journey and we learn just as much about ourselves as we do our children.

[Jolash]

One of the benefits of hs'ing only one is there is more time for the "extras" - time consuming/more involved projects, more leeway in following what we call a rabbit trail when something strikes our fancy, being able to keep on schedule even when we have to call it quits for the day because one of us melts down! Of course, you can do those things with more than one kiddo, but it's just easier to implement when your focus in on one.

 

One piece of advice I wished I had heeded in the early years: relax and stop second guessing yourself. Your child will be fine, even if you make mistakes!

[elegantlion]

My ds11 has been homeschooled since first grade, so we've finished 5 years. He's an only and I love homeschooling him.

 

How old is your dd? We had to go through a few periods in the first year where ds had learn how to respect me as a teacher, not just as mother. But just like parenting it's okay for them to see that you don't know everything.

 

I learned to recognize when he was overloaded and needed a break and the same thing for myself. We eased into the academics as I didn't want to suddenly become "nice mom-mean teacher".

 

Like pp said homeschooling an only gives you more time to go down rabbit holes, explore those spontaneous questions, and have some fun.

 

While I'm working to make sure my ds gets the best education possible it's just as important that he smile and laugh a few times each day. After a few years I realized my ds was never going to be as excited about the first day of school as I was. :D

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I am an older mom with just one ds as well. He is 7 years old and is going into second grade. I have been trying to find balance with the actitivities since it it easy to go over-board;) Although, I will have him in a co-op this year, weekly boy scouts, weekly akaloo youth fellowship, sunday school, choir, karate, and perhaps soccer and swimming;) I try to keep him out there so that he will eventually meet a friend or two:) I definately think homeschooling one can work as long as you keep them involved in activities.

[hillfarm]

I am homeschooling an only. She has always been homeschooled. She will be starting 6th grade this fall. Here are some of my musings on the subject:

 

Drawbacks: I'm reluctant to sink a huge amount of money into a curriculum offering, since I won't be able to use it with other students. One shot and we're done. As mentioned, I have to be not only her mom and teacher, but early on also her playmate. That has changed since she turned 9 and discovered friends and the telephone. Other hs parents seem to think I am somehow less experienced since I am teaching only one. I do have to be a bit more conscious of the socialization issue, since we also live in a rural area at the end of a dead-end road.

 

Benefits: My overall curriculum costs are less because I am only buying for one student. It is easier to stay on top of things with only one student. She gets all the focus and attention she needs. No down time waiting for her turn to use resources. Very easy to tailor things to exactly her needs. Cheaper on field trips!

 

In general, it has worked out fine for us. Dd participates in church activities and 4-H. In the past, she did a few preschool things, like story time at the library and one summer we did a half day once a week program at a local church (where I took work and sat and waited for her to finish--I do not do drop-offs, especially when she was only 4-5). I think you do have to work with onlies to make sure they learn to be children, not just small adults. IMO, they need a bit of the rough and tumble they get from playing with other kids. For example, I wouldn't shove her out of line for the water fountain, but another excited kid would. She needs the experience to know how to deal with that. Obviously there are limits and I certainly won't allow others to beat up on my kid, but she does need to learn that there are some people in the world who need to be forcefully reminded to share and to respect one's space.

 

When she was around 6 or so she used to whine that she was sooooo lonely, even though she was seeing other kids every week at church, 4-H , and play dates. I prayed a long time that God would send her good friends. So then when she turned 9, all of a sudden she met a new female friend, then a second one, and decided that one of the boys she had known all along wasn't nearly as creepy as she had previously though. Now she is on the phone all the time, chatting with these friends, and thinks of herself as quite the social butterfly. (Although from my perspective, things have changed only minimally, in her mind it is vastly different.)

 

My main concern about homeschooling an only is the tendency that we parents might have to spoil her. I don't want her to grow up to be self-centered or conceited. So we try to do as much community service as possible and to minister to others in the church whenever we can. I also make it a practice to not drop everything every time she wants my attention. Sometimes I intentionally make her wait for something so I can respond to dh first. But of course, she does get plenty of "princess time" just because she is an only!

[Orthodox6]

I am homeschooling only one child -- because I have run out of children ! Two are in college/working, one attends an outside school, so only dd (10 yo) is homeschooled.

 

My setup differs greatly from a "single child" family, but some things are similar. Friends are important, as are activities at a sane level.

 

One thing that I work against is my personal tendency to forget that dd is only 10. While she needs a solid education, it does not have to be overloaded to the level of graduate school ! I have to remember how to "think as does a child", to some extent.

[Chris in VA]

Mine is 9, but has two brothers; one will be a senior in high school (b and m) and my eldest is off to college.

 

The only things that really stand out about having just one to homeschool is that she needs to occupy herself when we aren't doing school, but she's pretty good at that, and that I think it will be beneficial to include some other children when we get to the upper levels, because I want more discussion. I had only one for high school, and the discussions got a little dry at times.

[Greta]

I'm homeschooling an only as well. The only advice I can think of is that people might be even more tempted than usual to play the "socialization" card when expressing their doubts to you. I suggest you ignore them. :D

 

Spending many hours every day outside of the home without family is HIGHLY overrated in my opinion. When it comes to socialization, quality is far more important than quantity, and that is true regardless of the number of siblings one has.

[Maria/ME]

Homeschooling an only here, too. We've been at it for five years. It's fun, but sometimes the one on one time gets overwhelming. Remember it's okay to say "I need some space!" Have some quiet time where you both do your own thing (house work does NOT count). I think having other children gets the focus off MOM constantly, but with only one we don't have that. Your SO can help their, too.

 

I agree with what others of onlies have posted. Don't feel you have to fill every single second of their time. Being bored is good for kids. Really. Not mind numbingly no challenges bored, but bored to the extent that they have to learn to find their own things to do. To search and unravel the time on their hands.

 

Despite the time I have w/my daughter I still feel she's growing too fast and the time is going too fast!

 

Biggest advice: Lighten up and enjoy!!! (I was always too uptight, worrying I"d do something wrong!)

[KarenNC]

My daughter is an only, about to turn 9. Lots of good advice already, but the biggest one for me was that she didn't have to do *everything* by the time she was 6:D. It was okay not to go to every single available opportunity for enrichment or socialization out there just because we had a bit more time or money available as we were only dealing with one child.

 

For us, a good homeschool support group where we get together weekly for an all day playdate in the park (plus lots of other things) has been a lifesaver. We joined when she was 4 and it has been great for both of us. It has given her a fairly consistent group of friends, a chance to get the "rough and tumble" with other kids, a chance to take her focus off of me for a while and for me to be willing to let her stretch her wings a bit more than I would have otherwise.

 

Absolutely quality is better than quantity when it comes to activities! We are learning to pick and choose more wisely the older she gets (and the less available free time we have as studies increase along with gas prices;)).

[BettyL]

This is my first post, so I was quite overwhelmed with your generous advice and encouragement. I appreciate all of your insights and cautions. I am thankful to find I am not alone in hs an only.

 

My dd is 7 and is very creative, sensitive and quiet. This is part of the reason I have decided to remove her from school. She tends to be overwhelmed with the things she experienced at school. She has a vivid imagination and occupies herself well.

 

She is involved in Sunday School, church activities, Pioneer Clubs and we have found a co-op that meets monthly. We have limited extra-curricular resources here in rural America, but I'm okay with that. We often enjoy having other families over to eat and play games.

 

My dh was an art major, turned pastor. He is planning to teach art, Bible and work with her on other projects. For this I am so thankful! I have a music background, so will be teaching piano for now. I think my husband working at home will be a bonus because my dd can take a break from me periodically.

 

Thanks again.....I'm sure I'll have more questions as I go along. I appreciate your cautions in not spoiling, letting her find her own answers, and not worrying about socialization especially helpful.:thumbup:

[BettyL]

Thanks for your insights.....I am really enjoying your blog - Twilight and Sunrise. Finding others who walking the same road is so encouraging!