Janna Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 This is an honest to goodness question: When someone in the public eye has an affair, why is the response to resign from their position? Lord knows, I know having an affair is wrong; I'm not questioning that. I'm just wondering why that is the response. Is it the expectation to do that, and if so, why? The only thing I can think of is that they can't properly do their job while cleaning up their "mess" at the same time. Is there another reason I'm not thinking of? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I think the idea is that an affair is a betrayal of trust. If he can cheat on someone he loves, take off and leave his sons for weeks, continue an affair and think he is above discovery, he won't hesitate to scr3w the citizens of his state. You need to read The Art of the Public Grovel by SWB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I agree with Heather. If someone can't uphold their marriage vows, they might not be too concerned with upholding their oath of office. Of course, we are all human and make mistakes so there should be room for grace, but I think most people realize that once you betray the public's trust it's going to cast a shadow over everything you do going forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bess Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Clinton didn't resign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 This is an honest to goodness question: When someone in the public eye has an affair, why is the response to resign from their position? Lord knows, I know having an affair is wrong; I'm not questioning that. I'm just wondering why that is the response. Is it the expectation to do that, and if so, why? The only thing I can think of is that they can't properly do their job while cleaning up their "mess" at the same time. Is there another reason I'm not thinking of? Well, in this particular case, I think Mark Sanford should resign not necessarily because of the affair per se, but because of the reckless actions he took to cover it up. Leaving the country for several days, with no one able to contact you, when you are the Governor of a state?! That is inexcusable, imo. (And that is totally politics aside. From what I've read about his views, I actually agree with Mark Sanford on just about everything, politically.) Although this case was particularly egregious, imo, there have been other times when people have had to resign after affairs because of the lies that went along with it, or abuses of power (i.e. relationships with interns, etc). I can't think of many situations where a leader resigned purely because of the affair itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 (edited) I just read a story on a blog that sort of wraps up my feelings. I'll try to find it to add a link. A lawyer wants to use a law school library without paying $15 for the card. He says that he was a graduate from the law school which would allow him to use the library for free. After a bit of checking, it turns out he was lying; he had graduated from a different law school. The library denied him access. When a higher authority was questioned to ask if that was the correct decision, his answer was 'yes'. If a man would lie to save $15, there is no telling what he would do. If a man can't uphold a very basic rule such as "Don't cheat on your spouse" how can he be trusted with anything? Found the blog http://merecomments.typepad.com/merecomments/2009/06/mark-sanford-forgive-but-trust.html . Edited June 25, 2009 by Moxie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theresatwist Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I just read a story on a blog that sort of wraps up my feelings. I'll try to find it to add a link. A lawyer wants to use a law school library without paying $15 for the card. He says that he was a graduate from the law school which would allow him to use the library for free. After a bit of checking, it turns out he was lying; he had graduated from a different law school. The library denied him access. When a higher authority was questioned to ask if that was the correct decision, his answer was 'yes'. If a man would lie to save $15, there is no telling what he would do. If a man can't uphold a very basic rule such as "Don't cheat on your spouse" how can he be trusted with anything? Found the blog http://merecomments.typepad.com/merecomments/2009/06/mark-sanford-forgive-but-trust.html . On the Sanford issue, I don't think he should have to relinquish the governor's office because he had an affair. However, I think whether or not he put the state of SC in danger by disappearing for a week and not telling anybody where he was going or how he could be reached should be seriously looked into. I think expecting that anyone who has ever had an affair should resign from office is a bit of a slippery slope. McCain admitted to having cheated on his first wife, should he have been ineligible to run for president? How about Gingrich or Giuliani? What about once you're out of office what are you eligible to do then? Is the private sector (I'm thinking of Clinton and Edwards) okay? No, they are not representing voters, but they are both in positions of great power nonetheless. I've long since stopped looking to public officials as examples of exemplary moral/ethical behavior. I'm sure there are some truly decent people in public office, but unfortunately I think they are the exceptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted June 25, 2009 Author Share Posted June 25, 2009 Thanks for that link, Melissa. I agree wholeheartedly with what he said. Also, I love you quote in your siggy line! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Also, I love you quote in your siggy line! :) Sad, but true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Clinton didn't resign. He should have - perhaps because of his philanderings, but definitely because he lied under oath. He just didn't have the graciousness to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomOfOneFunOne Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Ross Perot said something that kind of sums it up for me. To paraphrase: "If your own wife and children can't trust you, how could the rest of us?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Well, in this particular case, I think Mark Sanford should resign not necessarily because of the affair per se, but because of the reckless actions he took to cover it up. Leaving the country for several days, with no one able to contact you, when you are the Governor of a state?! That is inexcusable, imo. (And that is totally politics aside. From what I've read about his views, I actually agree with Mark Sanford on just about everything, politically.) Although this case was particularly egregious, imo, there have been other times when people have had to resign after affairs because of the lies that went along with it, or abuses of power (i.e. relationships with interns, etc). I can't think of many situations where a leader resigned purely because of the affair itself. :iagree: (Also, I just heard a news thing that he is now saying he will repay taxpayers for his trips to Argentina... so we can add actual theft - as opposed to the nebulous "time theft" - to the reasons he should resign. Gads.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 ...whether he should resign or not, but I have to say that in general I have more of a problem with someone who is always talking about family values and sounding all holier than everyone else and such, having an affair, than with someone who doesn't preach so much. I find it appalling when anyone has an affair, but mostly none of my business. I don't really want to hear about it on the news. It's sordid, and, again, though appalling, private, IMO. Except for that exception noted above. In that case, the appallingness is added to by the appalling hypocrisy, and those people then have no credibility unless they do resign. And not a whole lot even then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 We [general public] hold public figures to a double-standard. Public figures are "supposed" to exemplify the best-possible behaviours and standards. (This is our proclaimed value, even though few of us, perhaps, believe that they do so.) We are a people of "finger pointers", scandal-watchers, and "window-peekers" into other people's private lives. (Consider the popularity of tabloids and "reality" shows, for example.) Sometimes extra-marital affairs of individuals holding public office have been financed, in part, by public monies. Investigations are justified, and resignation from office can be a suitable follow-up. As others have noted, the S.C. governor "went A.W.O.L." without informing anybody (including his spurned spouse) of his whereabouts. Anything could have occurred during his absence. What if this were deeper into the hurricane season, for example, and a hurricane came ashore in South Carolina and the state governor was not present to authorize mobilizeing the National Guard and other relief forces ? Yes, I do think he should resign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 You need to read The Art of the Public Grovel by SWB. :iagree: I'm actually really curious as to how he will choose to confess. Has there been an actual statement from him yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Ross Perot said something that kind of sums it up for me. To paraphrase: "If your own wife and children can't trust you, how could the rest of us?" Ah, but not all marriages are for love. Neither is fidelity an expectation in all. I don't know enough about Clinton's or Stanford's or Ensign's marriages to make an informed comment. As for expectations, I expect political figures to be sufficiently discreet and level headed in their personal affairs that revelations like this just don't happen. Call me a cynic, but this type of behaviour been going on since the beginning of time, and in most cases we simply don't hear about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Ah, but not all marriages are for love. Neither is fidelity an expectation in all. I don't know enough about Clinton's or Stanford's or Ensign's marriages to make an informed comment. As for expectations, I expect political figures to be sufficiently discreet and level headed in their personal affairs that revelations like this just don't happen. Call me a cynic, but this type of behaviour been going on since the beginning of time, and in most cases we simply don't hear about it. Interesting. I agree. For me, the argument that a person who could not be trusted to make good, moral decisions concerning their own personal lives could then not be trusted to make those decisions in their public lives never really held water. There are many politicians who I feel have made absolutely immoral, despicable policy choices, sometimes causing thousands of deaths, but who were very gallant family men (or so it seemed). It seems like it ought to go both ways, but it really doesn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted June 26, 2009 Author Share Posted June 26, 2009 As others have noted, the S.C. governor "went A.W.O.L." without informing anybody (including his spurned spouse) of his whereabouts. Anything could have occurred during his absence. What if this were deeper into the hurricane season, for example, and a hurricane came ashore in South Carolina and the state governor was not present to authorize mobilizeing the National Guard and other relief forces ? Yes, I do think he should resign. Absolutely, in Mark's case, I think a resignation is an order for exactly what you and others have mentioned. I realize in my title that is sounds like this thread is about Mark, but really, it's not. I was simply spinning off the other threads about him, because his resignation made me think of it. So, while I am not wondering why Mark resigned, I do still wonder about the resignations of others when there has been an affair. As others have said, perhaps there is more to the story than we know when there has been an affair that would prohibit that person from acting in the professional way for which he was hired. Perhaps it's just because they don't want their life to continue to be scrutinized by the public. I don't know. I just think it's interesting is all. Perhaps I will go grab SWB's book afterall...;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Clinton didn't resign. Mark Sanford (Congressman at that time) publicly stated that Mr. Clinton ought to resign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I'm actually really curious as to how he will choose to confess. Has there been an actual statement from him yet? Yes -- there was a hastily called press conference on Wednesday afternoon. He rambled on about trust, about his staffers only passing along what he had told them, and finally, tearfully confessing that he had been unfaithful to his wife. He also said that he would use his remaining time in office to rebuild the trust of the people of SC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 For me, it depends on whether it about their job. If so, you should resign without question. You know, like they disappeared while supposedly running a state. Or they had an affair with a person who works for them. Or they used public or organization money to pay the lover off. Otherwise, I think repentance is enough. We are all sinners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I think the idea is that an affair is a betrayal of trust. If he can cheat on someone he loves, take off and leave his sons for weeks, continue an affair and think he is above discovery, he won't hesitate to scr3w the citizens of his state. You need to read The Art of the Public Grovel by SWB. :iagree: Beyond the affair, I think Mark Sanford should resign because he left his JOB for 5 days without telling anyone. What if there was some sort of disaster, etc? Most people cannot leave their job like that and keep it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 :iagree: Beyond the affair, I think Mark Sanford should resign because he left his JOB for 5 days without telling anyone. What if there was some sort of disaster, etc? Most people cannot leave their job like that and keep it. :iagree:Just because the state legislature wasn't in session, doesn't mean the governor is off duty. Honestly, though, if he were to resign, wouldn't that mean Andre Bauer would become governor? If that happens, I hope we can find a way to pay for a driver for him. :auto: (For those who don't know, our Lt. Gov. has a history of speeding tickets, and even crashed a plane a while back.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Knoll Mom Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 :iagree:Just because the state legislature wasn't in session, doesn't mean the governor is off duty. Honestly, though, if he were to resign, wouldn't that mean Andre Bauer would become governor? If that happens, I hope we can find a way to pay for a driver for him. :auto: (For those who don't know, our Lt. Gov. has a history of speeding tickets, and even crashed a plane a while back.) Bauer is probably the only reason I think Sanford shouldn't resign. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingM Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 What bugs me more than politicians having affairs are the ones who are always preaching and moralizing about others. Sanford was hard on Clinton's case to resign over the Monica Lewinsky affair, but now that he's the one with the "indiscretion" he has a completely different attitude. Leaving aside that issue, I agree with the posters who say that the bigger issue is how he went AWOL from his job for several days and used public funds to take a junket to visit his mistress in South America. The affair is between Sanford and his wife. The other stuff would get him fired from any job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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