Need help with hs frustrations

[cdrumm4448]

We just started our homeschool "test" this summer to see if my son and I are able to successfully homeschool. Monday and Tuesday were the same thing; interruptions by my four-year-old all day long. I try to keep her occupied but she's driving me crazy. I'm trying to get my son to do his work in 3-4 hours and it's taking longer than that. I can't get any housework done. I know there's an adjustment period, but how long can I expect it to be?

 

If it's taking me longer to homeschool him than he would spend in school, it's just not feasible for me to do it. We need help! Suggestions, please!

Christine

[Harriet Vane]

How old is your son?

[Caitilin]

My homeschool only works because, with 6 kids, I have to practice what I call "benign neglect." That is, I am never the primary playmate for my kids--they play with each other. I am not usually giving them my full attention, every minute. (school being the exception). I don't leap up and run to check every time there are tears. If it's serious, I will know soon, and if it's not serious, I can wait till it arrives at my feet. :) So, my littlers know that I am not available, and neither are the biggers, when we are schooling.

 

Maybe you need to spend a couple of weeks acclimating your dd to the idea that mom is busy when she is doing school stuff, and worry less about whether your DS is actually schooling during that time. Then when she has gotten the idea that you really are unavailable, and so is he, then you and he can begin to concentrate on the academics.

 

I hope that helps a little! Best of luck to you all!

[WTMCassandra]

I think your 4yo is determined to be involved and thus get a share of the attention. Could you sit him down with "his own" schoolbooks? Rod and Staff make some very sweet preschool books. Some kids really like to have their own schoolbooks.

 

Could you also assemble some school-only toys that he can use at the table? Things like: lacing cards, easy tangrams, counting bears, puzzles, Play-Doh, paper and crayons, etc. Could you bring a tub of Duplos to the school area and sit him down with them and a timer right at your feet?

 

I remember SWB resorting to things like a sink full of water to keep a little busy when she was trying to do school with the olders. After the lesson, she would wipe up the spilled water and voila, a clean kitchen floor!

[Rosy]

I would get the 4-year-old some workbooks so she can "do school" with you guys. Also, I don't know how old your son is and what curriculum you're using, but it doesn't seem like it should take you 3-4 hours to teach him (unless you're doing Sonlight). If he's young (3rd grade or younger), I would consolidate and maybe drop some of the non-core subjects until you've got your footing, and try to get it down to 1-2 hours tops (and not all at once so your daughter isn't having to go such a long stretch with no one to play with). If he's older (and reading well), I would maybe adapt what you're doing so he doesn't need you right there with him the whole time. I'm sure you can get some great feedback from the ladies here on how to adjust your schedule if you'd like to do that.

 

Homeschooling with little ones is HARD--and probably even harder in a small family. But really, there's nothing that says you have to do a year's worth of work every year. If you need to take it slow this year, take it slow--cut back on table time and give him extra reading. Do read-alouds that both kids will like. Take nature walks. Have fun with it! There will be plenty of time to catch up when both kids are more independent.

 

Also, I think it's ideal to give yourself a year to get the hang of things, if you can't do that at least a minimum of 3 months. We've been at it for a while now and it still takes at leat a month or so before I feel like I can come up for air. And if he's just coming off a year at public school you might want to give him some time to relax and have a summer break.

 

You can do this! Homeschooling is challenging, but not hard. :)

[Mom0012]

If you are just starting out, I would recommend starting wtih one or two subjects and then adding more once you are settled into a routine with those. It is a lot to start teaching everything at once.

 

Lisa

[WishboneDawn]

If you are just starting out, I would recommend starting wtih one or two subjects and then adding more once you are settled into a routine with those. It is a lot to start teaching everything at once.

 

Lisa

 

Ditto. No one in your house is used to the demands and routines of HSing so start with much less work. An hour or two a day and broken up so that your 4 year old can get some attention and be involved in some of it.

[CalicoKat]

My homeschool only works because, with 6 kids, I have to practice what I call "benign neglect." That is, I am never the primary playmate for my kids--they play with each other. I am not usually giving them my full attention, every minute. (school being the exception). I don't leap up and run to check every time there are tears. If it's serious, I will know soon, and if it's not serious, I can wait till it arrives at my feet. :) So, my littlers know that I am not available, and neither are the biggers, when we are schooling.

 

Maybe you need to spend a couple of weeks acclimating your dd to the idea that mom is busy when she is doing school stuff, and worry less about whether your DS is actually schooling during that time. Then when she has gotten the idea that you really are unavailable, and so is he, then you and he can begin to concentrate on the academics.

 

I hope that helps a little! Best of luck to you all!

so that's what it's called! :001_smile: we practice that there too. Also, I've found that if I give my preschoolers an hour of mommy attention it's easier for them to hear, "Mommy's working with _____ on their school work right now, would you like a puzzle (legos, little people, knex, i.e., toys that aren't in the regular daily flow--just for schooltime) to do next to us?"

 

our electric pencil sharpener has also provided hours of entertainment for the little people. :lol:

[Snickerdoodle]

For the 4yo:

 

Montessori at home is a fabulous website with lots of ideas. This worked really well for us. These activities only came out during lesson time to keep them fresh and interesting.

 

 

Dot-to-dots

Simple mazes (Kumon is great)

tracing

scissor and construction paper (for basically shredding the paper) keep the paper smithereens and give them a glue stick the next day and a large piece of paper on which to glue them on.

[Blueridge]

I would also like to know how old your son is, and what type of curriculum you are using.

[phathui5]

Was your son in school before this? Has he had time to "deschool" and get the school's ways of doing things out of his system?

 

Are you jumping into using curriculum and assignments? I recommend taking the summer to do relaxed, fun learning with him so that he sees how great homeschooling can be.

[EKS]

Start with one subject then once that seems managable then add another. Do this until you are up to a full load.

 

Also if you son just finished the school year at a regular school, I would allow at least a month of down time before attempting to homeschool at all.

[CookieMonster]

Monday and Tuesday were the same thing: interruptions by my four-year-old all day long. I try to keep her occupied but she's driving me crazy.

 

This will get better.

 

This will get better.

 

Trust me. This will get better.

 

When I first started schooling my 4 year old - for ten measly minutes a day - the two year old could not leave us alone. Now, when we sit down for school, she goes off by herself to play.

 

How did it happen? The biggest reason: she just got used to school time. We had the same routine every morning so she knew when school would start. After doing the same routine for several weeks, she got to realize that school was an everyday occurance so she started adapting. She realized I would have time for her after school was done. And, after we had been into a consistent routine for about a month, I started telling her, "It's school time now. I'll play/talk/look later."

 

And, during the 'getting used to it period' I kept redirecting her as much as possible. This let her know there was more to do while I was working with bubby. Also, I learned to teach effectively while still possibly being interrupted for ten seconds. Switiching gears like that is hard for me, but giving my interrupter a nice smile, eye contact, and a good answer works best for everyone. My son learned to learn with short, ten second interruptions. I think it's wonderful that he is learning to stay on track even though his little sister butts in now and then.

 

So stick with it until everyone learns what the new routine is. You, as the adult, can easily conceptualize the new routine. You know in your head when your 4yo is going to get Mommy time. Your 4yo has to live it - and live it regularly - before she starts to fall in line with the new drumbeat.

 

I know that's a bit rambly. I hope it helped some.

[cdrumm4448]

Thanks for all the replies! I was really tired last night when I posted originally and I see I didn't offer complete information. My son is 7 and my daughter is 4. I think we tried to do too much right at the beginning. I am waiting for Singapore and Miquon Math to arrive, so in the meantime we are working on computer-printed math worksheets. Then, 15 minutes of him reading to me followed by a written narrative. Then, I 'm waiting for Moden Press' Workbook B, so in the meantime we're working on computer-printed sheets, but he says they're too easy. Them grammar, SOTW1, me reading to him for 15 minutes.

 

I wanted to add practice the violin, and either Latin, Science or Art every day, rotating them. It doens't sound like that much, but it goes on and on when we're actually trying to do it.

 

And one more question. My husband is supportive of homeschooling for the most part, but says he is worried that my son will be with me "too much" and that's he's "too attached" to me. When I asked my son his most important reasons for wanting to homeschool, he said it's because the work at Catholic school isn't hard enough and he wants to spend more time with me. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that, but many people, including my husband, seem to think children are always better off emotionally when we send them to school. What do you think?

[KristenS]

I think kids need to be more attached to their parents and family than to peers and other adults, especially at these young ages. :)

 

I think your dh may find it works the other way around, actually. My kids are attached to me, sure, but because they're with me all day, it's DADDY they want to play with all the time. :D

 

I will ditto the It Will Get Better and the Start Slowly suggestions from the previous posters.

 

If your son is first or second grade (mine is 7 and going into second), that sounds like you've got an awful lot of summer work. I know mine's not yet ready for written narratives (motor skills and spelling skills) but could probably do it by dictation. He's a bright and somewhat advanced kid, but it doesn't keep him from being a kid and needing the wiggle time and time to let motor skills catch up. May not be the case with your son, especially with his prior school experience, but just wanted to share in case that ended up being one of your frustrations.

[dragonria]

 

I think your dh may find it works the other way around, actually. My kids are attached to me, sure, but because they're with me all day, it's DADDY they want to play with all the time. :D

.

 

My son is the same way.....if we have something in the evening like scouts or karate, or if my husband has to work later the usual, he gets upset if he doesn't have playtime with dad. That works for me then I get an hour or so of ME time!

[cdrumm4448]

The narratives are usually one or two sentences. He likes doing them and is a good writer. When he's doing them he asks me how to spell words and I help him with that, but the content is all his own. Even in first grade, they didn't correct their spelling because there were 34 kids in his class and an adult wasn't sitting across from him while he did his work. I know spelling correction isn't really fashionable right now, but I just can't let him labor under false pretenses (that his phonetic spelling is correct). He doesn't get offended by it; it's just a matter of course like any other gentle correction I give him.

[KristenS]

That's great! My kid is too much of a perfectionist to be okay with that... so I encourage the invented spelling for his drafts, and we revise later. So glad that's not an issue for your son! (Me, I love spelling.) I have to have long chats with my son about this being WHY pencils come with erasers. :)

[Dirtroad]

My advice for 7 is to focus on reading, writing, and math ('rithmatic)!

 

If you really feel that you must do art, etc..... select an alternating Friday and only do the FUN stuff like arts, crafts, music etc..... break up the routine and add these in.

 

Again for school, FOCUS on the 3 Rs. Best advice I was ever given for early grades (k-3).

 

If work is too easy.... at the beginning of every chapter, go to the REVIEW work at end of chapters. Let him try it. IF he does it well, take the test and move on to the next chapter. If he does some well... some not, go back & study onlythe things that gave him difficulty. Then, try a bit more review of the difficuly areas & proceed. Don't do work just because it is in the next lesson or in the assignment.... if they "GET IT"... move on!

 

One suggestion: Get SOTW on CD or read it on a tape for him. He can listen independantly! We also use the CDs in the car.

 

Other suggestion: You can also sit her down to listen to you read the SOTW and give her a "worksheet" on the subject while he does his lesson with it. (she can color or draw what she remembers etc).

 

Let things like science be simple readers, if you are trying to do this. Forget worksheets & textbooks. Maybe on that FUN Friday, you can do an experiment with absorption or dissovling or making rock candy. But do it on FUN Friday.

 

Personally, I would work on 3Rs for summer. (SOTW can work into reading if you really enjoy it).... (1)Get DD used to limited participation & entertaining herself for 20 or so minute increments. (2) Let him get used to the adjustment but still have plenty of SUMMER FUN time each day (he is too young to burn out!). (3) It will also help YOU ease into this new routine.

 

Oh, and housework.... haha.... schedule it for Friday or get up 1 hour early & do a little each day! Just pick up as you can. Also, 7 and 4 are old enough to help with unloading dishwasher, dusting, folding simple clothing, light vacuuming, taking out trash/put in new bag, picking up their rooms or toys they have dropped around the house, etc. They can help!

 

Forget the junk (worries) about son wanting to be with you.It is normal. He is only 7. He will want Daddy and Sports and Cars and Girls soon enough!;) You are home.... you are safe.... and you are dependable. The rest of the work isn't!

 

But, make a fuss or excitement when DH arrives home each day and let your kids great him with enthusiasm! It will help him feel better & teach your kids to look forward to seeing him!

 

Sorry long. You had several areas! You can do this.... but it takes a bit of time to get your feet under you .... you & DC & DH have to go through some "retraining".:grouphug:

[CookieMonster]

I know spelling correction isn't really fashionable right now,

 

It is in this circle of people. ;)

 

 

It is explicitly recommended in TWTM. :)

[CookieMonster]

And one more question. My husband is supportive of homeschooling for the most part, but says he is worried that my son will be with me "too much" and that's he's "too attached" to me. ... but many people, including my husband, seem to think children are always better off emotionally when we send them to school. What do you think?

 

You might want to look up some stuff on homeschooling and socialization. I think reading some of it, and then watching homeschooling work, will turn your hubby around in time.

 

You know, I grew up in a family that really believed that kids are better off being away from parents to learn how to behave. (What am I saying? I'm still part of the family.) Kids were, in family settings, "in the way". Kids needed to "entertain themselves". Kids needed to "learn how to survive in the real world" by going to school. My entire extended family works on these sort of principles. It didn't really work out very well. The majority of the kids are, um, not well-adjusted.

 

I totally believe in teaching kids independence and skills for the real world (including social skills). But, public school education doesn't have a monopoly on this. Think of all the people in history who managed to be just fine while staying home on the farm, estate, etc. learning from a tutor (or their parents). And think of all the public schooled kids who come out still socially backward misfits.

 

It's not the schooling choice, it's the parents.

[Harriet Vane]

Thanks for all the replies! I was really tired last night when I posted originally and I see I didn't offer complete information. My son is 7 and my daughter is 4. I think we tried to do too much right at the beginning. I am waiting for Singapore and Miquon Math to arrive, so in the meantime we are working on computer-printed math worksheets. Then, 15 minutes of him reading to me followed by a written narrative. Then, I 'm waiting for Moden Press' Workbook B, so in the meantime we're working on computer-printed sheets, but he says they're too easy. Them grammar, SOTW1, me reading to him for 15 minutes.

 

I wanted to add practice the violin, and either Latin, Science or Art every day, rotating them. It doens't sound like that much, but it goes on and on when we're actually trying to do it.

 

And one more question. My husband is supportive of homeschooling for the most part, but says he is worried that my son will be with me "too much" and that's he's "too attached" to me. When I asked my son his most important reasons for wanting to homeschool, he said it's because the work at Catholic school isn't hard enough and he wants to spend more time with me. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that, but many people, including my husband, seem to think children are always better off emotionally when we send them to school. What do you think?

 

Your line-up looks good. You can feel free to keep it relaxed--he is only 7yo. Also feel free to do a little bit, then let him play, then come back to it. Little boys need to move and wiggle. :)

 

My ds is four years younger than dd, and it was challenging trying to school particularly when he was a toddler. It worked best when I did the following:

 

--Gave him one-on-one attention first thing. We would read a book together or something like that. It was much easier for him to go play on his own once I had filled his love tank with some attention.

 

--Allowed him to participate in school as much as he wanted. I kept some preschool workbooks handy so that anytime he wanted to do school like his sister I could sit him down to a silly workbook to do numbers or colors or cut something with scissors. Your 4yo can do workbooks, and she can also join in on the history and science. Encourage her to listen to the story. You can have her color a worksheet from SOTW for history or draw what she remembers from what you have read. Also you read to your older child for fifteen minutes--make a big production about reading something official to your 4yo for 15 minutes. She'll love it, and she will learn to wait her turn. If you are matter-of-fact and very official about her schoolwork, she will feel included and happy to participate.

 

--Gave my son attention midway through and afterward. The fact is that when there is more than one kid in the house, the parent's attention has to toggle back and forth between them. As you continue homeschooling you'll find a comfortable way to make this work for you.

 

As far as the socialization goes, I'd say to do what you can to get your kids time with friends through park dates, shared field trips with other homeschoolers, and some outside classes, clubs, or commitments. Don't worry too much about it though, and don't overload your schedule. Don't overload your schedule. Over time it will be easy to see that your children are getting along just fine. Often people relax when they see that the reality of homeschooling is a far cry from the negative stereotypes people fear.

 

Homeschooling for a month or two is really, really not enough time to evaluate how well it works for your family. Give yourself time to figure out a rhythm that works for you. Don't try to assess this experience before you've had a chance to hit your stride.