Gooooooooood Mother-in-law Thread

[WTMindy]

She sounds as wonderful as the rest of your family!

 

Crissy, I think God knew that I needed ALL the help in the world and gave me an amazing support system!! :-)

[Brindee]

Hey, we'll take you up on that offer! My poor dh feels that he has really missed out by never having an adult relationship with his parents. I know my relationship with my own parents has been so different since I reached adulthood, and they could relax and not having to worry about "raising me right" and we could just enjoy each others' company! I wish he had had the chance to experience that too. And I know how much my dd would love another set of grandparents to spoil her! :lol: So count us in!

 

Thanks, you really made me smile. And this whole thread has been so touching that it brought tears to my eyes. I may have missed out on having in-laws, but now I know what to aim for when it's my turn to be the in-law. Thanks for starting this uplifting conversation!

:001_smile:Wouldn't that be great if it'd really work out?! My mil would LOVE another gd to spoil! Not so sure my dd is willing to share her gma though! :D

[HeatherLynn]

My MIL is always kind and accepting. Her DH (step FIL?) is a doll and great with the kids.

[Heather in WI]

This thread makes me want to call my MIL and invite her over. She's a wonderful lady ~ thoughtful, kind, and sweet and I don't think I've appreciated her enough!

[WTMCassandra]

Here are a few things that I have learned from my mother-in-law that I want to do with my future dil.

 

She initiates getting together with the kids and me.

She asks me every year what she can do to help me.

She has my family over for dinner once a week and she tells me that I am free to stay home if I want time alone or come along, and doesn't get offended if I choose to stay home.

She looks for things to teach the kids (piano, sewing, cooking, etc)

She invests spiritually in the the kids

She plans monthly fun activities for the grandkids.

She comes to all the kids events.

She is interested in my life and asks me lots of questions.

She treats me like a daughter.

 

She is an amazing woman and I feel very fortunate to have her as a mother-in-law!!

 

This is an amazing list! Thank you so much for this. I hope to create this kind of grandparent/MIL for my children when they have families.

[mommaduck]

I am so happy that ya'll are so blessed! I'm not, but through God's Plan in it, I've been blessed with personal growth. I pray I can be as much a blessing to my future daughter/son-in-laws as your MILs have been to you :)

[*Inna*]

Both of my Ils are incredible. I have never met people quite like them.

[OhM]

Have to take the opportunity to brag on my MIL -

 

She keeps a spotless house, and is truly *bothered* by the thought of germs (this lady takes her own cleaning supplies to hotel rooms!) yet has never ONCE commented on my less-than-sparkling house, to either dh or me. (Now FIL zinged me once on it - but it was so witty and well-timed and deserved that he's forgiven):lol:

 

She constantly tells dh that I "work too hard" and that he needs to help me more! (After all the heavy lifting that he already does around here.)

 

She forgave me for getting her mixed up with her twin after having a drink (or two) at our wedding reception. (I had met her sister for the first time, and I tell you, the resemblence is uncanny! Doesn't help that they dress alike!)

 

And finally, she's really a lovable goof who will drink gin gimlets with me.:D

 

What more can I ask for?

[skaterbabs]

My MIL teaches my middle-school-aged sons, and does the artsy-crafty and gardening-type things with all three kids that I have no talent for. (She can make ANYTHING grow, the only thing I can't kill are hostas. lol)

 

We have lots of common interests, and while we have MANY things we don't see eye-to-eye on (I'm pro-life, she's pro-choice, for example), we just agree to not discuss anything that could cause hard feelings.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I would run out of room telling all the great things my in-laws have done. MIL came and stayed with us for a week to help us move, including 4 coats of paint in the living room. They have watched out kids for a couple weeks while I was on reserve duty. They have even arranged vacations to visit us overseas (and watch the kids when we had to leave town).

And last winter, they let the kids and I live with them for 2.5 months while we were between duty stations.

 

Shortly after September 11th, it looked like I might have to go on active duty again. FIL told me that his inlaws had let MIL and dh live with them while he was in Vietnam for a year. He said that whatever happened, he and MIL would be there to do anything we needed, including having my boys live with them.

 

My inlaws rock!

[jujsky]

My MIL and I aren't good friends (we've settled into friendly civility) but she is a good grandmother to my kids. She gives us a monthly allowance for their activities. She paid for their homeschooling supplies for both pre-K and K. She's constantly buying them clothes. DH and I never ask for any of these things -- she just buys them or gives us money. She is willing to baby-sit when we need her to. When she does baby-sit the kids at her house, she and FIL always do something fun with the kids (trips to the farm, the zoo, the park, etc.). She cooks special food for the kids all the time. I have to give her a lot of credit for being a good grandmother.

 

My FIL is just a good guy in general. He is usually fairly supportive of our choices.

[Rosie_0801]

I am still in awe of her ability to completely fill a table with good things to eat from the time it takes the visitors to pull into the drive to knocking at the door.

 

How do they do that? I remember my great grandmother was always pulling a tray of scones from the oven when we came in. I think she must always have baked scones on Saturday and Sundays, just in case someone showed up. Or maybe she was just super speedy and could whip together a batch when she heard our car. It was a very squeaky vehicle, you could hear it a mile away :)

 

Rosie

[Harriet Vane]

I just adore my mil . . . my fil and sil as well. Dh comes from a truly loving family.

 

We don't always agree on everything, and our personalities are quite different. It's never an issue, though, because my dear mil (and the others) make a determined effort to try to understand the other's perspective, and to love each other in all things.

 

For example, when we chose to move to a rough neighborhood in the city where we would be the racial minority, my in-laws were upset, frightened, worried. They never showed us any negativity though--they asked a lot of questions, discussed the nuances with us, and made the effort to walk in our neighborhood and to get to know our neighbors. It's been the same with our choice to homeschool. I have to say that they have responded really, really well to our maverick choices, and I genuinely appreciate their efforts.

 

Mil is also an adoring grandmother who is generous with her time, resources, and her own dear self. She is my children's best friend, and I couldn't ask for a better one for them. We all treasure her input into their lives.

 

Mil and fil have always accepted me and loved me. They have been generous with their resources and time and choose gifts for me with thought and care. They are careful to give equally to their children as well as their childrens' spouses.

 

As mil and fil age I know their needs will increase. Dh and I consider it our privilege to be there for them as they have been for us in so many ways. I truly thank God for them.

[Carol in Cal.]

We were invited to camp in a private campground at about 4000 feet over the long weekend that included DD's first birthday, along with a whole bunch of other people with similar interests. We wanted to go, but MIL and FIL were coming out for DD's birthday. DH let it slip that we were skipping this invitation, and they offered to camp out. They said, shoot, that sounds like fun! They were about 70 years old at the time, and AFAIK had never been camping before (they had owned a rustic little cabin in the north woods for years and that is where they vacationed.).

 

We had a tent for them to use, and DH and FIL got the bright idea that they should take all of our sleeping bags to the laundrimat the day of the trip up the hill to wash them so that they would be all freshie freshie. When they returned in triumph, we started our long trek up the mountain, only to find upon arrival that all of the sleeping bags were now soaking wet. The heat of the drier had faked the guys into thinking that they were dry. So after dinner they took the sleeping bags over to our host's house. Naturally she only had one drier. There were, of course, 4 sleeping bags. Drying them completely took hours. Poor MIL froze but never complained at all. She just joked around and commented on the stars and talked about trees.

 

Gotta love those people!

[Ohdanigirl]

When my DH and I got engaged, I had never met my future MIL.

 

One day I received a hand-written letter from her in the mail. I was afriad to open it, fearing the worst. (After all, everyone knows what MIL's are like, right?)

 

It was the most beautiful and thoughtful letter I have ever received. In it, she told me all the wonderful things that my DH told her about me, told me that she never had a good relationship with her MIL and hoped our relationship would be different, and welcomed me to the family.

 

I still have that letter in my wedding book. I will treasure it forever.

 

When my sons get engaged, I plan to do the same thing for each of my future DIL's.

 

 

Oh what a great idea. Mind if I use it too. My oldest ds is only 10, but what a great way to welcome a future DIL to the family.

 

Speaking of letters my MIL gave me a very nice one on Mothers Day....I think it was her way of letting me know that the past is really behind us.

[Jean in Newcastle]

When my DH and I got engaged, I had never met my future MIL.

 

One day I received a hand-written letter from her in the mail. I was afriad to open it, fearing the worst. (After all, everyone knows what MIL's are like, right?)

 

It was the most beautiful and thoughtful letter I have ever received. In it, she told me all the wonderful things that my DH told her about me, told me that she never had a good relationship with her MIL and hoped our relationship would be different, and welcomed me to the family.

 

I still have that letter in my wedding book. I will treasure it forever.

 

When my sons get engaged, I plan to do the same thing for each of my future DIL's.

 

How beautiful!

[WTMCassandra]

When my DH and I got engaged, I had never met my future MIL.

 

One day I received a hand-written letter from her in the mail. I was afriad to open it, fearing the worst. (After all, everyone knows what MIL's are like, right?)

 

It was the most beautiful and thoughtful letter I have ever received. In it, she told me all the wonderful things that my DH told her about me, told me that she never had a good relationship with her MIL and hoped our relationship would be different, and welcomed me to the family.

 

I still have that letter in my wedding book. I will treasure it forever.

 

When my sons get engaged, I plan to do the same thing for each of my future DIL's.

 

That is so totally awesome. What a wonderful idea!!! I want to remember this one . . .

[Brindee]

Thanks everyone for sharing! I know our mil's would be thrilled (and teary-eyed!) to read these tributes!:crying::hurray:

 

I tell my kids that I pray that they will have a marriage like their parents (dh and me), and in-laws like mine!:001_smile:

[Dawn E]

Not too long ago I was feeling rather down in the dumps due to my constant struggles (and failures) at being a good home manager. I have always been a messie...and now with a family things sometimes get to that overwhelming stage. I don't know if God laid it on her heart or if Dh had mentioned something to her, but one day she called me out of the blue to tell me what a wonderful mother she thought I was. She commended me for investing so much in my children and encouraged me that the other stuff was secondary and I would continue to grow in the areas that needed growth. By the end of that phone call I felt appreciated and as if I could do anything.

 

I love my in-laws and am blessed to have them. I was just thinking the other day, as I followed my active toddler around outside, that these are the people that loved and poured their lives and hearts into my husband and, with God's help, shaped him into the wonderful man he is. I am truly grateful.

Edited May 22, 2009 by Dawn E