I certainly believe attorneys should be paid. I am on a marriage board and we strongly advise people who come there in the middle of a divorce to get an attorney. When they say there are no funds we tell them to borrow or beg someone for funds. it is almost always that important especially with kids involved. I lucked out.....I contacted my attorney...one of the best divorce attorneys in my then city...in with another big name attorney...and he took my case for a $500 retainer. I have since learned that is a very low retainer. In the end I paid him about $5000 total, of which $1500 was paid by my Xh by order of the court. He was a good attorney. However, I was on top of things the entire time. I know I was a pain to him but I knew what was important to me. Xh and I negotiated the custody and visitation on our own. Property settlement went to court. Judge settled a few things, gave me alimony, but he refused to rule on our home which had significant equity in it. It took 6 more months after our divorce date before the house issue was settled and I did the work on it. My attorney wanted me to roll over and sell the house to Xh for the amount he wanted which turned out to be 40k less than the full price offer we eventually got. During all the stunts Xh pulled during that 6 months (refusing to sign listing offer, getting a shady appraiser to undervalue it, refusing to counter offer on offers,) my attorney told me to keep all the correspondence and if Xh cost us the sale we would go after him for the difference. If I had left all of that up to my attorney I would have been screwed. And that is what Dh did. He trusted his first attorney who wrote up the most ridiculous and unworkable visitation schedule ever. 5 years later we give another attorney ( who came highly recommend and who was in a big downtown fancy building) $2500 retainer to fix the visitation schedule and to address some other issues...like xw wouldn't give Dh insurance info for the boys, her New husband jumped out of his vehicle periodically at exchanges to cause problems, xw wouldn't take Dss to a specialist he needed and we couldn't because she wouldn't give us the insurance info and a few more issues that I can't think of right now). Anyway, we went to mediation which cost us another $500 ( not counting attorney time) and they hashed out some things. Dh went by his attorney's office a few weeks later to sign off on what was being sent to the judge. He didn't take me with him. He didn't come home with a copy. Turns out it was another huge mess and waste of time because the very specific issues were still not addressed. We have basically just bluffed xw that what she agreed to in mediation is in the papers....and so far it is working because I guess she did to bother to read the papers just as Dh didn't. All of this to say, yes you need an attorney. But you have to be your own advocate and educate yourself on your rights and read before you agree and sign and follow through on details,

Yes.

I had no knowledge of this man or his wife prior to this thread. If I had I probably would NOT have suggested she has a boyfriend. It sounds like he really is abusive and that is why she has gone public. So again I am sorry I offended.

When you click on your topics how are they sorted? Mine are by forum and sometimes they disappear because of that....all my threads are usually in chat so if one is in another forum it might be waaaaay down the list. M

Ha. Yeah. So are you a nut like that?. The trouble with this kind of stuff is that it is totally random. Everyone has things that make them nuts. For instance I have to grit my teeth because he put a pizza in the drawer I have designated for raw meat.

My advice is to turn over the homeschool of this child to her father. You are in a no win situation.

Oh boy. The re writing history is difficult to deal with. When my sister found me she and I discovered that we had been told different twists of the same basic story. Both our dad and my mom made their own version a little more sympathetic...but I think that is human nature and my sister and I found the real truth in the middle. Your case.....them forgetting to mention your mom was married...yeah that is just ignoring facts.

Right Katy. That is the thing....he went to sleep around 11 last night and I woke him up at 7:45. I know for a fact he needs more than 7. And I honestly believe it is a rare 16 year old that only needs 7 hours of sleep. I will agree that their natural,cycle is night owl...but the world doesn't operate that way.

It is a beautiful and thriving area. Close to so much outdoors activities. Homeschooling laws are minimal in AR. Not too far from Tulsa which I hear is getting a Trader Joes or Costco soon. As far as beauty in the state, further south in the Ouchita National Forest area is even more beautiful IMO but there are no jobs there. And Hot springs is a beautiful area. So lots of nearby places to visit if you live in NW AR.

I am sure some people do better on 7 hours sleep. This kid is not one of them. Even if he was I am not going to be able to,deal with him going to bed at midnight or 1 and getting up at 7 or 8. Bed at 10:30 or 11:00 wake at 7:30 or 8:00

He just sent me links to studies saying 16 year olds perform better on standardized tests on 7 hours of sleep vs 9 hour. Yeah whatever. I made him go to bed at 10:15....so he should be good to go at 5:30 right?

I would be looking up Frankie if I were you and getting the inside scoop. Something seems off but hey everyone has their quirks so I wouldn't let it stop me from getting to know him. Hey here is an idea....use the money for a long weekend trip to visit. Get a hotel room, have dinner with him....see how things are in person.

Seriously? Wow.....that is crazy. Why haven't they spoken? Because of religion?

OH my word. Does he know you are JW?

Wow. Just wow. Who talks that way? I am getting nervous for you. LOL...... Would it bother you if they became involved? To me it is just muddying the waters. Tell him that....say, hey I can't control your love life or my moms but I would like to get to know you without that complication. And yes he most certainly can love you with out loving your mother.

Eph 4:26 be wrathful but don't sin. Anger is normal when we have been betrayed. Broken trust is a real killer to overcome. The depth and breadth of the broken trust is the determining factor.

I have fairly serious tmj issues....here is what helps me......massages with someone who knows how to do a tmj massage....it is freaky feeling but effective. Muscle relaxers at night. Chiropractor. Opening my mouth and bring it closed making my front teeth meet evenly. Learning good habits to prevent flair ups. Ice. Heat Dentist wanted to do surgery on me. No. Way. Just no. Mine also started after a dentist visit. Held my mouth open too far too long. , So sorry.....I know it is painful.

Yes, takng turns living with the kids and another residence is the height of insanity to me. Two people who could pull that off should not be getting divorced anyway. My Xh bought me out of the family home and as soon as I moved out and the Other Woman was there often. I have never stepped inside that house since the day I moved out almost 6 years ago...I cannot imagine sleeping there part time while he goes off to my house to be with our son.

Excellent move. And I am glad Bubbles was spared.

What happened to the cat?

I know a lot of Catholics. None that would be likely to have me spend the night in their home.

Yes this is true and it is how I feel. I think my thoughts on it are getting lost in my point about not letting unmarried people sleep together in my house. That is a separate issue from an affair 10 years ago.

If I had a friend who believed divorced people shouldn't be allowed to be remarried (highly unlikely but hey lets go with it) and the didn't want me and dh to sleep together in their home we would get a hotel. As far as how other cultures define marriage kind of pointless to discuss because I am in THIS culture which defines marriage as a legal document issued by the state.

Well, she is going to be home but it is a program that answers to the state so I believe at this point some serious attention will be given to her reading situation. The mom is meeting with the new teacher on Monday. I think everyone is in agreement that the child needs to be up to grade level by the time she begins 3rd grade.

I have never heard the expression either but I can figure it out.