*Education for my husband and I. *Good shoes for me. *I have 2 girls who are tough on clothes. I buy more expensive clothing for them in styles that last 2 years, buy less of it, take good care of it (no dryer, etc.), and pass it down. I have some older clothes from Persnickety, Matilda Jane, JK Heirloom, and so on that have lasted 4 consecutive years and been worn 100-150 times total. The price tags ($50-$100 for a full outfit even on sale) made me cringe, but they still look nice being passed down to other children after being worn over a hundred times by kids who roll in the mud. On the other hand, I have had $5 leggings for them that have torn before they even left the house. This all reminds me of the time is money thing though. Sometimes saving money feels like a full time job.

My parents did. And we probably will. We've paid an extra $100 or so on the principal every month since getting the mortgage. Regarding the house price stuff, we did buy at 25% our income. But I have to commute 2 hours (each way) to my job. Many of my friends and acquaintances in town have the same type of commute into a big city. I sometimes think we made the wrong decision not paying more for a house closer to our workplaces, so my husband could actually see the children more than a few minutes on average weekdays. I don't really see an answer for us, except to go back in time and go into lines of work less tied to major cities. I think part of "overspending" and low savings is psychological -- but we do ourselves a disservice if we convince ourselves it's (almost) "all in our heads."

On the wedding thing: I talked to a woman on her second marriage about this... I think we must have just stumbled on the conversation (I didn't ask about it), because she is still speaking to me... She said she got married so young and spineless the first time that she felt all she did was show up to the wedding her Mom planned. Her second wedding was the one that was actually "hers." I've been thinking about this a lot... Most of us spend on some things that look crazy to others. From the outside, it's difficult to know whether 1-2 splurges is financial irresponsibility, or whether a family is OK with sacrificing elsewhere. Example: My 6-year old (same one who feels deprived she doesn't go to Disney) does have 2 underarmour tracksuits for gym. But, she also only has 14 outfits at any time, counting those 2 tracksuits and 2 nicer dresses. I think we have a tendency to make Frankenstein's Monster out of our friends and acquaintances -- like Friend A's awesome vacation, Friend B's awesome house, Neighbor C's 4 bathrooms -- and then compare ourselves to it, which isn't even a real person. Edited: because it's the Monster, not Frankenstein. Not sure why that bothered me when the post as a whole is written so awkwardly.

Agree... I'm guilty of having a lot of guilt about what I can't provide to my children... A big part of it is that I just don't want them to feel sad about what they don't have, so young. But I've come to believe it is inevitable for us. I can understand how people go down that path though... My 6 year old is old enough to feel embarrassed when someone mocks her for not having a huge widescreen TV (...not sure I'll be inviting that child for another playdate). "Factually," she knows the truth -- that she has everything she needs, and many of the things she wants. But, she still feels envy and shame when other children act astonished she has never been to Disney (and knows she probably won't ever be in her childhood). I want her to learn the lessons she's learning -- be grateful for what you have, don't compare yourself to others -- but I wish I could protect her from the feelings she is having along the way.

Yes, our Sienna (2010? 11?) automatically shuts those off. If not, I'd constantly have a drained battery... my kids never turn them off and I forget too.

My husband and I have similar underlying views of what SHOULD be, but he is much more embittered... He can vote (or NOT vote) for who he wants; I only really get upset when he conveys that cynicism to our kids. At 4 and 6 I think they are too young for the "Cesspool on the Potomac" stuff.

My daughter is pretty much the opposite -- she likes fantasy a lot better than real life stuff -- but some series she liked, that might fit: *About the same reading level as Ivy & Bean: Horrible Harry, Judy Moody, Junie B., and Nancy Clancy chapter books *SLIGHTLY ( only 1-2 grade levels up) higher than Ivy & Bean:Encyclopedia brown, Amelia Bedelia chapter books, Goony Bird *Others that have a slight (but not entirely) fantasy element: The Littles (mid third grade level), Flat Stanley chapter books Of those, Judy Moody, Junie B., Nancy Clancy, and Goony Bird all have that "school age girl" as main character thing that Ivy & Bean has.

In addition to those mentioned above: There are a bunch of Rylant books in that range, including Some Good News, The Eagle, The Whale, The Islander, Wedding Flowers, and others. Take a look at grade level for each though online before choosing them, some like Every Living Thing have a context that she might not be ready for (example from that one, "Mom, what's nuclear war?") My daughter didn't really love Ramona, but she did love other Cleary, particularly the Ralph Mouse books... I'd get these in the read-aloud versions or the large print versions from the library. A lot of Roald Dahl's are in that range, like The Giraffe & Pelly & Me, and The Magic Finger, but also I feel like they can read even his slightly more complicated stuff (James and the Giant Peach, etc.) because they can understand the context. The same applies to Catwings & My Father's Dragon... technically I guess the reading level is higher, but they can read it because it's within their knowledge -- don't know what it says about children that flying cats and giant peaches are what they intuitively understand best. Another that comes to mind is Flora and Ulysses.

Sometimes they put a metric ton of cilantro in, but then (IMO) it isn't tikka masala anymore. Plus, the rest of this just sounds so gross I wouldn't eat there even if it WERE cilantro.

This is probably cruel, but I used to start a read-aloud, get the kids excited, then "forget about it." Sooner or later, my older daughter started reading it herself to save her sanity. It didn't work with my younger daughter though.

Agree, sort of - this is part of the reason I decided not to have my children apply to the local super-expensive private school, and I hear the same from other parents who could barely afford the almost $35,000 + (starting in K and increasing each year) price tag. I don't know your financial situation -- but for us, if my children had gone, I suspect they would have been the children from the MOST modest means there. But there is a huge difference between any old super-expensive private school and Andover, so if your son really wants it and can make a good argument for why it is a good fit for him, I would consider it.

Yes, we do Peterson directed and you can look at all the books online (you just can't print them). We didn't do it as cursive first, but this is the book (I think) we used first: http://www.peterson-handwriting.com/Publications/review_ebooks/Peterson_CursiveFirst_IND_REV.pdf

Thank you so much everyone! I know that many of these ideas will get used, since everyone who is trying to buy for her is equally confused about what to get.

My niece's graduation is coming up soon and I'm so completely clueless on graduation gift ideas! Her mom has historically had a hard time coming up with gift ideas, my niece is going to live at home and commute (so no college dorm accessories), and she has a job so my other grand idea of giving money envelopes also fails... Please help with suggestions if you have any!! It can be anywhere between $50 and maybe $350 (since there are multiple family members who are also puzzling over what to get her).

Yeah, I never thought about it being otherwise, although now that I remember I DID used to call my friends' mothers Mrs. SoandSo. My 4 year old calls adults by their first names.

Sort of. We have a low sofa that when you take off the cushions, makes a perfect "balcony" for the resulting pillow forts. They jump OFF it onto the mound of pillows, but at that point it's only really one foot high. I don't really put much stock in what kids tell me they do at home, though... According to the kids, all my kids' friends do nothing but eat candy & chips while playing video games and spinning around in one place all day. There might be a little truth mixed in there somewhere.

We do salmon pie sometimes... mixing it with all that potato takes some of the "ew, canned salmon" effect out of it.

Agree... I love Diorshow but only really the waterproof... I don't know what it is but the regular gives me raccoon eyes. Sephora used to have a mascara sampler(like the perfume samplers) -- haven't seen it in a while but if you live near a sephora it might be worth asking.

It's been a while but I remember the part where he forgives her seems like a "real" religious moment, kind of his "Levin" moment. But the society he is living in doesn't have room for that and he doesn't have the personal strength to resist. I never really liked him, but it seems true to life ... the part about having a real Christian moment then backsliding. It's hard to write about this book without spoilers, I hope most people who haven't finished resist clicking!

I think Tolstoy had almost a love-hate relationship with Anna, and it comes through to the reader. She is strong and intelligent, and she has a whole lot more integrity than many other characters, particularly the men (who have affairs, but remain dedicated to "family" on the surface) but also a lot of the women (Vronsky's mother comes to mind..). If only she'd had her affair on the sly, she'd have lived "happily ever after." Somewhere in the book it says something like, "No matter how she tried, she could not become stronger than herself" which sums it up for me. She's a strong woman, but not stronger than the forces arrayed against her. Probably the biggest force was that she had a really big mistaken idea -- at least in Tolstoy's eyes -- that a ruling passion could be stronger than everything, even her duty to family.

I would have read this differently, unless there was more to the comment. My daughter goes to a public school and cursive is among the things I teach at home. In her particular school, they ARE taught to read it in 3rd grade but not required to write it competently. She is in K so right now her friends with few exceptions can't read cursive. If she is doing anything and wants her peers to be able to read it (e.g., she likes to write letters), she has to print. So the fewer public schools teach cursive, the fewer people know it, the less it becomes a working means of communication... since you can't assume the person you are writing "to" can read it. "I'm not teaching cursive because few can read it" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I do notice more of the private schools emphasize it than the public schools around here, and wonder if it is becoming more in the line of cultural capital.

Here are some favorites of my daughter: 1. Right after "MTH level": Catwings, My Father's Dragon series. My daughter also liked A Light in the Attic/Where the Sidewalk Ends at this level, for humor. 2. A little further on my daughter, who is an animal lover, loved: Bless this mouse (it's at MTH grade level, but the content -- such as mouse reproduction! -- puts it slightly beyond that imo), Charlotte's web, Flora and Ulysses (funny to children and adults alike), the Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. To go between 1 and 2, you might find the Special Read-aloud editions (BIG with bigger pictures) or if those aren't available, large print editions helpful.

Ouch, I think several of the quotes seem unflattering to secular homeschoolers (e.g., when the 14 year old says "You know, there's one religion that makes no sense at all. I think it's called Mormon. I saw it in an episode of South Park."). Also, the tidbit about the candy is just blah. The article does say that there are all kinds of reasons people want to do things secularly... but the quotes they chose seem almost intentionally aggravating (could have been the reporter/writer though).

Just from the other side... We got them for a year and I didn't continue. After the first month, the kits are very thin and really didn't stand alone -- I needed to supplement a lot for my kids to care at all. At some point I decided to just do it myself.

I can sort of see this... I am much healthier when other things in my life are in order, like I don't have the mental space to care about whole grains when the rest of my life seems like it's in the toilet... a bit like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I do think though that it's hard to eat healthy on not much money, and it's a developed taste. I've made a lot of the recipes from Good and Cheap, and while they are delicious, you have to get so much of your protein from eggs and that's hard for a lot of people to stomach.