Oh I missed the ripped seats. Add in "these puppies, always getting loose. Looks like that will cost about x dollars to fix. What are we going to do?"

I don't know if this would be best or not, but I'd probably say, as soon as 8 saw an unleashed dog coming, "whoops Buddy, slipped of your leash, did you? Hey Mr Neighbor, need me to help you catch him?" Act like you believe the owner meant to use the leash and the dog got away. Assume the best about each owner at any given point. If the neighbor admits to letting them off the leash, just say you've had some problems with stuff being knocked over in your yard and ask if there's a way to fix this situation.

My husband, a cop, often lets people use his phone. He sets it to speaker and dials the number for them. That's one way to let people make a quick emergency call without getting your phone stolen or hacked. (Or used for drug deals, which happened to some friends of mine)

I have a friend from a very particular region of the south and he pronounces "sell" as "sale" and "sale" as "sell" as well as swapping other words of that ilk like "hail" and "hell." He's literate and spells them correctly; that's just how he pronounces them. If he weren't so aware of it and careful with his spelling, I can imagine he would spell them the way they sound to him. Do you happen to live along the border of North and South Carolina, close to the mountains,by any chance?

I can't imagine 5 cups in a gallon! My inlaws use 2 and it is difficult to drink, especially without food. We use 1, or a scant 1, and I want to cut back. I am from the deep South, by the way. IMO, restaurants often go way overboard, as though they think it gives them "southern cred" or something. But 5 cups! Egad!

Yes! I think a lot of this discussion is really about how to balance the child's right to an education with the parents' right to raise their child as they see fit. To my mind, that's the role of government: to make sure that the exercise of one individual's rights do not unreasonably impede the exercise of another individual's rights. Those who view children as in some way property will not see the issue this way, and that creates even more difficulty in finding ways to protect all children. (I know one family that believes this and that is an awesome family, by the way, so please don't think I'm bashing, though I do disagree). To my mind, as a friendly outsider, a combination approach would be best. First, people should watch out for and support those in their networks, whether those are churches, neighborhoods, or chat boards. Given that the vast majority of people are both involved in some sort of community and want the best for their children, this would likely be enough almost all the time. There are clearly downsides to this as it is difficult and time consuming to help one's neighbor and it is easy to offend. If this became a more culturally normative thing, it would also become easier, I think. Second, it is the government's job to protect the rights of all its citizens. It will never do so perfectly, but that doesn't mean we give up. Personally, I like the idea of having an option between testing and submitting a portfolio, maybe adding in the option of a home visit if the parent thinks that's the best way to showcase a unique situation. Of course people will still be able to game the system. People buy police scanners, but that doesn't mean the police stop trying to enforce speed limits. I actually think that the way the test/portfolio is most helpful is because it requires the home educator to stop and assess how things are going. In my state testing is required but it is only seen by the parent. One family I know found this to be an important reality check when test results revealed to them that their children were not performing at their potential, leading that family to become more organized at providing regular instruction. I understand why homeschoolers who work hard to do things right resent the idea of government intrusion. I know that since I am not homeschooling my children (they are too young), my perspective is different and will likely change somewhat if/when we begin our homeschool journey. Still, when I see what seems to be a "circle the wagons" defense and attempts to remove all regulation, it saddens me because I know how that looks to unsympathetic outsiders. They see this not as a desire to protect a hard-won freedom but as an attempt to hide wrongdoing. The fact that they are wrong in this view does not matter when it comes time to vote. I really believe that the best way to defend that hard-won freedom involves some degree of transparency. (Please pardon me if this post makes no sense. At least 50% of my reason for posting is that my husband is travelling for work, again, and I need a bit of adult interaction after a rainy day of squirrely toddlers)

Thanks for your concern. I know that worrying about things is part of my personality and have known if for a long time. When I was an adolescent, I "dealt with it" by having minor panic attacks. Now I deal with it by discussing it either with real life friends or online. Those discussions help me reframe things so I no longer see the issue as a problem. So when I come here occasionally with a concern, please don't picture me at home being worried to death. I've got a good life and not too many problems, really. My husband just works too much for me to be able to use him as a sounding board all the time and while caring for toddlers is very rewarding in many ways, it is good and healthy for me to think about other things. Maybe I should post more often about more mundane things so I give people a better picture of myself. Want to commiserate with me about a toddler who would rather cuddle in my bed than sleep in her own? (I've actually got that one covered. My kids are easy at the stage they are in, but they do like to push limits as cutely as possible)

Thank you all for your encouragement and reassurances. So many of you have found workable solutions in a variety of ways, and that helps me trust that if we get to the place where we need something like that, we will be able to find or form what our children need. I can't believe I hadn't thought of some of them, like checking out local seminaries for lecture series. Our path ahead will surely have bumps, probably not the exact bumps we are expecting, but your words have helped me gain more confidence in navigating them.

Finding a group might not be necessary, but finding one good friend would be really helpful. When I started college and made my first Christian friend with whom I could have real discussions, my relief was palpable. That I found a group of them was even better. I don't mean at all that I don't want my children to have only Christian friends or only gifted friends, but having at least one who is both would be great, and a group that is both, as hard as that may be to find, would make it easier to find that one.

I get what Tess in the Burbs is saying: my kids are a toddler and a preschooler, so I don't KNOW that they are gifted. I may be just borrowing trouble. However, I can't just not think about it. Of course they will choose their own friends, as did I. However, for many, many years, I will be the one driving them to the places where they will find their friends and even choosing what those places are. If there are places where they will be likely to connect with people who can "get" them, I'm going to be taking them there. I'm so grateful for this board and that many know of resources I wouldn't even think to look for. I'm kind of hoping someone say "oh my denomination has a program like that starting for six year olds" or something like that. Probably a pipe dream. Thanks for all the good advice here. A group of gifted parents would be helpful for these young ages. The kids may or may not be gifted, but the chances for understanding are higher. It's nice to be around other families that don't get worried about their own kids when my children do something early. Plus my husband and I would enjoy the company. The apologetics/debate route is also something I will bear in mind, but as related to Kathy G's post, those groups can be (at least from my experience as a youth) "this is why evolution is wrong" groups, and constantly being told you must not be a Christian, or at least a good enough Christian, because you accept the claims of science, gets very wearing.

I've debated a lot about whether to attempt to ask this question because it can be easily misinterpreted, but I've decided to trust and give it a try. My kids are very little, but from what we are observing and from their family background, they are likely to be well above average in intellectual ability, possibly 'just bright' but also possibly very gifted. Both my husband and I are gifted enough that it has created great opportunities but also great difficulties in our youths. Thanks to my husband's experiences with school I'm researching homeschooling to be ready as needed, and based on my experiences I'm worried about what to do with spiritual growth. I was, and am, devoutly Christian, but growing up all of my intellectual peers were secular and my age-peer group at church, while a fun group with great people, was just not able to relate deeply with me much of the time. My faith benefited from being challenged by my secular classmates and being the "junior teacher" at youth group, but I was very, very lonely. Among the other young people at church I felt I had to tone down my abilities a lot to avoid being seen as arrogant or just being completely misunderstood and ignored. It seemed natural to try to find Christian adults to discuss things with, but I generally heard back "wow, I never thought about that" or "Girls your age shouldn't be worrying about such things" or "you just need to pray for more faith (even if I wasn't feeling a lack of faith)." I could talk with my family, but that was it. I spent a lot of time sitting in the youth room wondering "if I smash my fist through the wall, will they all just shut up long enough for the pain to be worth it?" My answer was always no, but remembering the feelings that led me to ask that makes me want to find something better for my kids, if they do turn out to need it. My question is this: Are there resources for gifted Christian youth and places for them to come together with like-minded peers? The internet was not easily available to me as a teen, but I expect that there are possibilities there. We live in a largish city, so it seems like there should be opportunities to meet in person, but this is tricky because there is the unfair connotation of being "elite" in an area of life (faith), where elitism is unacceptable. If this doesn't exist, I feel strongly enough about it to try to form it, even if my kids turn out to not need it, but I have no idea where to start and wouldn't want to reinvent the wheel unnecessarily. I really hope I've communicated this well and don't sound like the world's worst parent or Christian. I'm doing well now, but there's a lot of past pain in this for me, so if I have come across poorly, please be very gentle.

I'm actually not a fan of contemporary services either. As teenagers those of us in the youth group tried hard to convince the 40 year old women that 80's contemporary Christian music wasn't going to draw the young folks in. By "very traditional" I actually meant "everyone has sat in the same spot for the last 50 years, singing the exact same songs at the same tempo, etc)

I'm quoting you not because I believe you are like this but because I've heard the same thing so many times at dying churches. Members get very offended that others, particularly those with families, don't want to attend a church that does nothing besides one very traditional worship service and maybe a ladies' Bible study and the occasional pot luck. They use the "you should be here to serve, not to be served" line to mask "this is what serves us and we're not changing." The church we attend right now has 2 ways I could serve: watch my own children in the nursery (no others there) and decorate the church for Christmas (while my kids run around unsupervised). I want a church where I can grow spiritually, including through service, but if the established members want no change, ever, I can't bring anything to the "pot luck" and it looks to them like I'm sitting around complaining that there's nothing on the buffet.

I'd love to visit sometime. We have to tread carefully with major changes because both of our families have been active in the same small denomination for over a century and we don't want to be insensitive to them or lightly turn our backs on our own traditions.

We are having church trouble right now, so this may be describing the minimum rather than the ideal, but here it goes: 1. Worship should be God centered, not sermon centered. A year long series on Job with each sermon lasting 45 minutes, requiring all hymns to be truncated is just not healthy. 2. The church must be reaching out or it is dead. If 100 percent of the budget is keeping the lights on and the preacher fed, it is time to turn off the lights. 3. There should be genuine opportunity for involvement for all ages. What that looks like will vary, but it is important.

Thanks, all. This is kind of a last minute "ahh! Measles outbreak!" thing. Dr Google thinks I must be asking if it's possible to get chicken pox after vaccination, and the CDC doesn't consider this a common question. They don't list previously vaxxed people on the "who should not get this vax" list. He might be able to stall and get a titer done, but that would create a lot of logistical difficulties. Since it looks like it will just waste a shot, I think he'll just take it.

Thought of that, but there's really not time.

My husband doesn't have evidence that he had chicken pox as a child, though he knows he did. For work, he's going to have to be vaccinated if he doesn't have the record. Is this likely to cause any problems, like a shingles attack, or is it just a waste of a shot? Thanks

Me too! When I had a toddler and a little baby I was still overproducing like crazy! After the toddler weaned, about 2 days later I was shocked to feel full after eating a meal. I had gone many months needing so much food that my stomach could be full and I could still be craving more calories at the same time. Looking back on it it seems weird, but it was normal for a long time for me.

From the perspective of having been in public high school and seen my family and friends' experiences, I would say it is important to look at the experience for kids like yours. For example, my high school was absolutely fantastic for driven, high achieving students and also seemed strong in the special ed and esl departments, but I've heard that some students who were more typically developing felt overlooked and sometimes slipped through the cracks.

I wouldn't trust the tracking system too much. My family recently went through this. Everything went fine, but my husband's still said "final processing" when we had it in hand. Give it a few days, especially if your travel date is far out. Calling the state department number on the website would have been my next move. By the way, the kids' went through much faster than ours. Good luck.

We're in a city in the south where my husband and I both grew up. When we were kids "sir" and "ma'am" were generally only used in professional settings; no one expected kids to use them. Now many of my friends and people around are requiring it. We aren't, but my two year old daughter hears it enough that she has started saying "yes ma'am" to me and others from time to time. She likes that it makes me laugh a little and give her a kiss because it is so cute coming from her little lips. I use "sir" and "ma'am" with anyone in a professional or business setting and anyone above college-age that I don't know. So the 16 year old secretary gets ma'am-ed, but the college kid at church doesn't. Nothing to do with marital status. It's really interesting to me to read that people use "yes, miss" or "excuse me, miss" up north. I thought that was just a British thing and have always felt it sounded weird.

Memorization can be very valuable in many ways, but sometimes children and their parents, especially if they are somewhat prone to boasting anyway, can come across as a little ... overproud when reciting. For example, I think my kids are very bright, and they probably are, to be honest. My two year old could easily memorize the multiplication table if we prioritized it, but then I'd be strongly tempted to have her perform this (not that everyone would, but I would an I'm not unique in this). That would lead to some being unduly impressed and others being duly annoyed. Those teachers may have had experiences with parents sure that their child was a special kind of genius because they "knew physics" and so couldn't believe that the child could be struggling with basic addition, or whatever. Again, not knocking memorization, but we are sticking to songs and poetry in English and target language for now. (edited because child pressed keys while sitting on my lap)

In elementary school we had multi subject comp books where we, for example, had copy work on one side, then we flipped it backwards and upside down for spelling lists. Kept things both together and organized.

I'm going to violate my dis-engagement because I really do care about the opinions you are sharing with me. I respect many of you who are criticizing me, despite the fact that I don't know you. I came here with a question. It was a very half-baked, ill-formed question. Through your criticism, and even some support, you helped me realize both what the question was and what the answer is. Here goes what I should have asked: I have a friend who is homeschooling. She's doing an amazing job, but she's got the deck stacked against her in some ways economically and socially. She's pretty much family, and I want to know, how can I, as someone who is not a homeschooler, be helpful and supportive to her? We see each other often, and she often brings up how and what her child is doing. I will admit that part of my brain, the part that loves to plan and thinks I know best, would love to try to take over, but I know this is a horrible, no-good idea that would not help me, the mother, the child, and certainly not our friendship. One thing I've already done is tell her about a great used book sale in the area. She was excited, but the timing didn't work out for her to go. I offered to pick up books for her. She made some requests, including for workbooks at her child's level. I really don't like the idea of a bunch of workbooks, I'll admit again, but that's not my business. I honored her request, picking up a few workbooks, a few early readers, and a couple of books that I happen to know they will be really excited about. It makes me feel good to be helpful in this way, but when I see how hard she's working, I want to do more! What can I do for her, and what can I do for my other friends who are also planning to homeschool despite some difficult circumstances? And here's what I have figured out the answer is, thanks to your supportive and critical comments: Being a friend is helping, even if it feels like I should be doing more. What she likely needs is that listening, non-judgmental ear. Babysitting during a conference, or just so she can go to a coffee shop and have a few minutes to herself, would probably also be a good thing to offer. She's doing an amazing feat of balancing life already, and I should learn from that. When amazing opportunities come up, I should let her know about them with no expectations. When I come across a book I think her child would love, I'll pass it along and then be sure not to, especially not surreptitiously, check to see if it was read. If she has any worries, I'll talk with her about them, and she'll probably come up with the right answer without me saying much at all. Just keep developing friendship, keep being there for her, and that will help her, and me, more than anything I could plan out.