Right now the chair belongs to my grandfather, but it comes from my late grandmother's side. Grandad is a history buff, so I assume he's written down whatever is known about this chair. If I can make it come up naturally, I'll ask him. I'm not going to presume to tell him what he should do, but if it comes to my generation, I'll be looking for a museum local to where the chair is from or a slave relic museum. If they don't want to take it, I think I'd go with a "history corner" with the chair and an explanation of what we know about it. There is a vacation house from the same side of the family, so that might be a good place to put it. I know that we are still benefiting from the labor of slaves all around the world when we get cheap, or even expensive, goods, but that is still far less personal than knowing that members of my family, who I respect in many other ways and who were pillars of their community, were actively involved in maintaining a system where they owned people. Maybe it should be more personal to me. Certainly I can do nothing to change history but can work to make changes now. If the chair turns out to have value, I guess a third option would be to sell it and donate the money to fight slavery in the world today.

I won't and won't let that happen. I also don't want it just sitting in someone's attic with the history becoming more and more forgotten.

Good point!

The thing is, it's not a particularly great chair. I wouldn't keep it on it's own merits. I have a large extended family, so if we want to keep it in the family, I'm sure someone will be willing to keep it, but I'm not entirely sure we should.

That's a really interesting article and makes me think it might be far more possible to get a museum to take it and actually do something with it. I actually thought this sort of thing was very common, but maybe it is more common in the, "let's not talk about the chair over in the corner" kind of way. I think that, if I end up with this chair, I will donate it somewhere after gathering as much information about the history of the family and chair as I can. I think I'm almost afraid to do that kind of research though. I know our family has its dark history, but with no specifics, it's pretty easy to ignore those parts and focus on the more noble parts.

One of the "heirlooms" in our family is an old wooden chair, made on the plantation of a slave owning ancestor,presumably by a slave. I don't know that this will become my responsibility, but the possibility has me thinking. What should I do with it if it comes to me? If we knew the name of the plantation carpenter it might be possible to track down descendants and offer it to them as rightfully theirs, but we don't have that information. I really don't think there's enough information about this chair for a museum to want it. It seems disrespectful to toss it out. Perhaps fittingly, it is very uncomfortable. As is the whole "my ancestors had slaves, I still benefit somewhat." Maybe just keep it as a tangible reminder of our past that we should be uncomfortable with? Or is there an organization that collects slave relics for the descendants of slaves? I know that anything involving race is highly sensitive, but I hope this can be a helpful discussion. The timing of this post is motivated by my need for adult conversation as my husband has been away for work for more than two weeks, but this is something I think about from time to time as it comes up.

I don't know if this is relevant, but my brother was slow to grow, always looking several years younger than peers, and he hated it. After he started wrestling, though, he realized he liked being small but strong. He learned to value physical skill over size. Maybe involvement in a sport with weight classes would allow your son to be competitive with peers and gain confidence. By the way, my brother never got a dx, though if he had been half an inch shorter at any point he would have had tests done. At the time, I think he would have jumped at a pill to help him grow, but he has since said he's glad that he didn't get such intervention. He's about 5'8 adult height.

My mother in law wore white to my wedding. At the time I didn't even notice because, well, I wasn't looking at her at all, but about a year later I looked a t wedding pictures and laughed out loud. Her hair was also dyed to match mine. I really don't know what she was thinking. We get along well, but... weird. All that to say, I'm glad you are going with blue. The bride would likely not notice or care, but lots of people would wonder about your intentions.

I'm answering this as the mother of a bright 3-year old who is learning French. I previously taught English as a Foreign language, mostly to teens and twenties, but also kindergarten and elementary, and one time I had to teach a 2 year old English. One big thing is to manage parents' expectations. So many parents, especially those without a strong foreign language background, have heard so much about how little kids are these sponges who pick up a second language without any effort. Clearly I don't know the parents you will be working with, but I would set goals for the class and let the parents know these. Something like "To help the children begin to understand that people speak in different languages. To help the children start to understand geography and an appreciation of the culture of Germany. To give the children a positive experience with foreign language so they will approach it with enthusiasm in the future. To provide children with a very basic foundation in German that parents can later build on." Maybe the parents you will work with have more reasonable expectations, but I've seen parents sure that their preschoolers are gaining fluency in two hours a week, and that could lead to difficulties or disappointment. I like the advice you've already gotten about switching activities frequently, speaking German as much as possible but not insisting on it (so you don't freak little kids out), and mixing lots of story time, crafts, songs, and whole-body movement. I found it very helpful to, at some point in the lesson, have the kids working on something like a coloring page so that I could go around the room to talk one-on-one with each child to be sure that the quieter children were picking up on things and to give opportunities to the faster children to learn a little more vocabulary. Good communication of what was learned in class is also good. A vocabulary list, links to a good youtube video of the song you are learning, and maybe a take-it-further idea for a game or activity the family can do later. If your local library offers language learning software online free, like Mango or Tell Me More, you may want to let parents know about that, too, so they can learn a little ahead of their kids and feel more comfortable supporting what you do in class.

We live in a Southern city and my husband is a police officer. The salary is ok, not great, and the benefits are so-so. Raises are rare these days. A change is in the near future for us. All that said, it isn't all bad and your son isn't crazy for considering it. My recommendations: He should do a ride along and/or whatever training your area has for civilians who want to learn more. Lis different agencies he is interested in (city, county, state, fed, sheriff, etc) Try to meet officer and ask questions, but be sure to find out what agency they work with. Neighboring counties can have very different scheduling, policies about training, methods for handling court dates, etc. Some places near here rotate officers constantly so no one has to work at two am every weekend, while others keep things more stable. I recommend a "real" major rather than criminal justice. Finance and computers seem in demand, but really here they are happy if you can pass their screenings. Practicing shooting would be helpful. The largest number of failures at the academy comes from not passing weapons qualification., but they work on that a lot. Be honest. Loads are also kicked out for lying, usually about something stupid. Automatic firing here if you are found lying, as I think is right. Private security pays a lot here if you are certified leo, so a lot of officers make more working part time on their days off than they do at work. Some even volunteer two shifts a month for a small city so that they keep up their certification while working private security full time. Sorry for the ramble. I'm on my phone. Hope the perspective helps.

One thing that strikes me as I read this is how much of the hurt feelings are based on possible misunderstandings. Please understand that I don't fault you for any hurt feelings you have, especially when pregnant. But sometimes we have to step back and decide how we may have misread something. It can be helpful for me, if I need/want to have friendly relations with someone, to willfully interpret things in a positive light. Here's one possible interpretation I would use in your situation. (I don't have all the details here. I know that and I encourage you to ignore anything I say that is, with the additional information you have, clearly stupid.) Maybe your neighbor did try to let you know the ducks were a problem, but you have different ways of communicating for example, maybe she's from a very tactful family while you appreciate (and pick up on) straight shooting or maybe she was trying hard to be tactful because she knows you are but failed to communicate because that's not her usual method. Then, maybe she thought she was sharing a funny story about those pesky ducks on Facebook, but because no one can hear tone of voice and because you, being pregnant and possibly annoyed/embarrassed by the difficulty with the ducks and saving money to pen them in, were naturally extra-sensitive to criticism. Then when you cut her off, she may have been bewildered. Maybe Facebook was actually glitchy with the friending/defriending thing, or maybe her fingers hit the wrong key on her phone. Perhaps she shared the sad news of your animals' passing in a good-hearted way, but the person she trusted with the information was mean-spirited and twisted it into the hurtful lie that, justifiable, you are very angry about. It could be that none of those "maybes" are actually true, but from my limited observations of life, probably a handful of them, or something like them, are true. I'm not saying you should make this person your best friend or confidant, but before you decide to cut her off completely, try having one open conversation with her. It doesn't sound like it could make things much worse, given the information you have shared about how you feel right now.

.Haha, we don't have the a/c on here in the same area. We just let it cycle once before bed on the really humid nights and use windows and fans mostly. Even when I gave birth at the end of June one year. But then again, we aren't considered fully sane.

I'd first find out if it is going to be a problem. Ask your son, if you haven't yet, "hey, buddy? Are you excited about the party? What do you think is going to be the best part?" If he's all about the pool or presents or cake, play those up and he'll have a blast. If he's all about the friends, try really hard to get in touch with any he mentions. You may then need to have a chat about how some kids already had family plans (if you can't get in touch I would say "may have plans but are going to try to come") but that you will have a blast at the pool and will find another time to get together with buddies. That would be like him getting two parties! How exciting!

I voted that we have them but don't use them. My husband has duty weapons that come home and he does lots of target practice with those, but we've been too busy to get into hunting, so the long guns we own get used like once a year for target practice. As our kids get old enough, my husband wants shooting to be a family sport. I can maybe get into that. It feels really foreign to me, but dh was active duty infantry and armed so much of the time that it is second nature to him. And safety is tops, with lots of stories about idiots who weren't careful.

Yeah, I taught English as a Foreign Language to teens and adults for a couple of years in a place with a definite bias towards the British. After I heard a few students complain in thick Eastern European accents what horrible American accents they were picking up from their teachers, I began to not announce myself as an American. Instead, on the first day class, I'd talk with the students a bit about expectations, schedule, etc, and then I'd poll the class on where they thought I was from. I urged them to pay attention to my accent and see if they could place it. Even my higher level students couldn't do it. They guessed England, Scotland, Ireland, Australia, and very occasionally America. Once I started doing this, I never had a single student blame my American accent when they flubbed a dictation!

Thanks for the warning. My husband has to go through "Don't be the victim of the terrorists" training every year or so for the military, so we've got some idea of what to watch out for on that front. We will be visiting some war memorials and that sort of thing, but we aren't planning on hanging out anywhere especially American.

Thanks. We certainly will, Lanny. I went to Russia in the middle of the Georgia "kerfuffel," so I made sure to learn about registration then.

So, my current plan is to keep working on our full-time lodging, but if worse comes to worse, next Friday I'll book 1-2 weeks fully refundable and have that to show them (our consulate only says proof of accommodation, no time frame given. Each can have different rules). Now that I have a plan, I'll sleep easier tonight. And maybe, kind of like how watering the garden makes it rain, planning this out makes a confirmation e-mail come overnight.

I think it would be a lot easier if I were getting a work visa. In fact, I'm kind of kicking myself for not just finding an internship teaching English 10 hours a week. The website lists proof of accommodation as one of those things that are needed for a long-stay visitor's visa, which I think is the kind I'm getting. When I lived abroad before it was on a work visa and that was so much easier.

Thank you so much for that perspective. I will make sure to ask them about that. There is only one place on the application where we check which kind we are asking for, so I may leave that one blank until we get there and then tick the right box once I ask them.

We have a visa appointment Monday the 6th of July for our semester in France. It is stressing me out! We have everything under control except maybe the apartment. We are working with a company that helps students and other travelers find medium-stay apartments. We chose one which they told us we couldn't have because of the kids (but we lost a week thanks to a miscommunication due to the language barrier), and so we chose another that it seems they should let us have. But we haven't heard back since e-mailing them Monday evening (their time). I'm worried that they've decided to wash their hands of us and ignore us for some reason, though it is just as possible that they are in communication with the landlord and everything will work out fine. I have started to look for apartments other ways, but it is tricky and certainly helping my French skills grow. Here's my question: If we go to the appointment without "proof of accommodation", what will likely happen? My husband's student visa doesn't ask for this. The kids and I should (I think) be on visitor visas (the application is the same, just different supporting documents). My plan has just been to take four copies of everything asked for on either list so that we will have all our bases covered. Do you think there's a real chance of them not asking for proof of accommodation since a student visa doesn't need it and we are all going (as they told us to via e-mail) during a student visa appointment? If we don't work out a long-term apartment really soon, would booking a hotel for a week and bringing in that booking likely cover us? I know that probably no one can answer these questions, but I'd love it if you could. This whole thing is an expensive venture, and spending money, even money we have saved and earmarked for this purpose, stresses me out, so adding this on top is making me want to take a long, long nap. Or at least eat a bunch of ice cream after I put the kids to bed. Which is probably my plan for now.

Maybe try sitting on the potty with her. Like, no little potty ring, you sit.(clothed) with your back up against the tank, and she sits on the toilet seat in front of you. The logistics of this won't work for everyone, but if you can, it helps the child feel extra-secure. If you can get a few successes, I would bet more would quickly follow.

Regarding the word "foolishness," I disagree with it as well, but those in the ATI circles are probably using a little, or very, differently than you or I. At least some people in those circles draw heavily on Proverbs like "A fool says in his heart there is no God" and "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of correction will drive it far from him" and view "foolishness" as a very serious thing. I hope that's how she was meaning it, anyway.

Great idea! It is a bit scary to know what a low percentage of Americans would be fit enough for military service in the event of a major war, and I suspect the situation is similar in Britain. Simple things like this can help address so many problems.

Just speculating, but if she makes it about a possible lawsuit, I can see that be a great way for the Duggars to spin their story. She encourages them to sue, they humbly refuse, saying they've forgiven those that have wronged them, and they make the whole thing about forgiveness.