If they hadn’t talked on the app long, maybe that was the issue more so than the date location/time. Like if she said hi and the same evening he asked her out… too much too soon maybe? My theory on her ghosting. Semi-related — the dating app world is saturated in avoidants attachment types. They stay single, become single often. Secure attachment style is hard to find. They are often taken! And lastly is the anxious attachment style. Anxious & avoidant often meet and it doesn’t work.

And I’d try to find out if she has trouble saying no in general or just to him. Definitely something to work on.

His mental illness is a concern with reactions like this. The controlling thing you mentioned in the first post was a red flag to me. Controlling on its own is a problem and may or may not have any connection to their mental illness. She’s trying to save him or she feels stuck. Super unhealthy. He needs to be redirected to professional help somehow. A suicide hotline, counselors etc. She doesn’t need the burden of a codependent. Has she seen Renfield? Lol I kid but the movie touches on that. Get her out of there. It’s only going to get worse!

Seems to me that a lot of people have a mental illness or challenge of some sort... I think it's more how they manage it than anything else. When I meet someone I don't ask them about their mental illnesses lol. It might not come up for some time. I'm pretty open but it doesn't mean I want to blurt out, "I have anxiety/depression/ocd and I take meds for it."

Ugh I hope things get fixed soon. We lost power in a storm about a week ago. I left town with the kids and had a neighbor check on the cat. We didn't get it restored for about 5 days and the local Dollar General Market still hasn't restocked most of their cool items. Monday night of this week we lost power for an hour and a half. The power company had two things going on and one of the issues was a limb that fell on the power line (and even started a fire briefly) on our street. They trimmed back the tree and the neighbors might start a petition to have it removed. The homeowner that has the tree on their property seems indifferent/doesn't want to help. Several parts of the tree fell in the initial storm and they didn't help clear them. I was just glad the power was only out briefly as I didn't want to toss food from the fridge/freezer again. And I don't even know if the local gas stations sell ice but the other nearby places that do were closed by then so that was not really an option.

Good update. I hope everything goes smoothly.

Party planning/setting up events Each work day would be a little different because the party themes change/clients change/venue changes.

Maybe the game is the problem, not the kids LOL For one, I think charades would be hard even if you do know the shows/movies. My 8 yr old mostly watches YouTube. And I can't stand half the YouTubers because so many are obnoxious either with their voices, sound effects, or lights/images. A lot of the videos are reaction videos, but some are art or other things. She has access to Disney Plus and Netflix etc at dad's house and last I checked she was into Amphibia, Owl House, and (against my wishes - it's rated MA) Little Demon. So, I have no idea if she'd do well with that game, either! If it's any consolation, when I attend trivia night I feel like an idiot half the time because my team knows more of the impressive stuff. I'm more reliable for the tv category lol.

My first thought reading this was, "don't you need a master's to do anything with a pysch degree? Is he going back for more school?"

Not much to report. I got rejection email from casino job. Hoping something else comes through this summer. When we got to my house last night it was storming again and powers flickered/we briefly lost wifi but we were ok. Others I know in semi-close cities lost power. Priced a bunch of moving options. I really don’t want to have to drive a large UHaul myself. POD option is not gonna work for me. I will recruit someone to help if possible. One of us drive uhaul, one drive my car vs towing car. I babysat yesterday. Still making payments to IRS. I asked to meet xh in another city yesterday so I could do silly photo shoot/show kids around this unique place. They have very limited hours so I’ve never been. They recreate movie sets periodically. They redo famous props. I got a pic of kids in front of fake National Lampoon’s station wagon. I’ve only seen Christmas vacation - the green one is from the summer vacation version. So if it’s appropriate maybe we can rent movie later. I’m a huge Schitt’s Creek fan. I got some pics in there. Turns out the monthly income from ds’ YouTube averages like $20. I had all these ideas for a series of my own but motivation isn’t too high. I’ll let you guys know if I roll out a new series of videos. I am feeling optimistic about my future with my kids. Side note xh is essentially trying to see if ds can handle a job so ds has been volunteering several hours at a time shelving books. I asked him if it was volunteering or if he was “voluntold” lol he didn’t exactly answer. He said dad said he’ll give him permission to apply to real job at 16 and dad will get him a car (interesting… I will see what happens but sounds like typical carrot dangling to me). I didn’t say much. I know I can’t be on the hook for the car per our legal agreement.

I mean this week I was able to cash out… but it does take time to earn rewards. 2500=$50 rewards. Most places are 1 point per dollar. I signed up for Murphy gas rewards. Probably won’t help much, but new members got points and I was given 10¢ off each gallon up to 20 gal last night when I filled my tank. I stop at 2 different Murphys on my road trips when possible/applicable.

No matter what, interest starts immediately on both types of borrowing. We ballpark I’d need ~$3000 to cover first month’s rent, deposit, pet fee & moving expenses. I haven’t calculated actual moving fees yet. There are several problems. I don’t know when I’ll land new job. I don’t know where I’ll be able to move (what’s available when I absolutely must vacate my current home). I cannot/will not live with my dad for months if I can avoid that. I’d have to find a home for my cat. No pets allowed here. Xh offered to keep her temporarily- no way. He’s the one that turned the dryer on when she was in it once. Wouldn’t consistently deal with litter box when I was pregnant. Made his new wife rehome her cat because their current landlord won’t allow more than one pet long-term. No no no. Side note - this begs the question when exactly did he secure this home because she never brought her cat to MS!! I know the college doesn’t care if you have mult. pets. Fishy… I’m a little upset with myself I let them run my credit. That credit check is valid 45 days. I have til Aug 1 to move forward with the personal loan. If not, I will need another solution or run a new credit check later to start over. my current card earns rewards. I’ve been putting most purchases on it for the rewards as I usually pay it off in full. Well my auto drafts are all set to that card. I earned $100 in rewards this week and requested that to go to checking (probably won’t show up til after the Juneteenth holiday).

I will double check with another employee, though. It was her first day!

She said it’s the same as the cc… but I said I’m aware that rate can change quarterly so am curious to see what it is in July (which is when it can change again). Currently it’s at 8% vs the loan rate which is a little over 11%

Casino didn't contact me yet. I followed up with the company that hosted the dinner event, just in case. Xh and I spoke at drop off. He said he's supportive of me moving closer to the kids and that I needed help to ask... I was like huh?? He meant like helping move furniture apparently. Dude, whatever. I'm not asking you for help. My dad doesn't get it. When I told him he said, "why not?" No. Just no. I would rather pay movers than involve him. I discussed loan options with the bank. Apparently I could take out a loan or ask for a cash advance on my credit card that I have through them. I had no idea you could do that. The interest rate on the card can change quarterly so I will see what it's at in July when it updates. It will likely still be lower than the loan interest option. I sorta regret the credit card pull now but if I need the loan I should be approved.

Ds went with my dad to play pickleball 🙂 they can go to an indoor court if they need to. Power is out at my office in the city and they had some stormy weather/debris. I hear thunder and lighting here. A couple friends posted pics of hail. Weather in the local areas is crazy. 2 of my colleagues in the city have lost power. My sister sent money for the movies for me and the kids and I reserved us seats to an afternoon showing of Elementals before the kids go back to xh this evening. I’ll have extra time with them since I don’t have to drive them to the halfway point. I attended an event as a plus one with my dad last night. My aunt thought I could network but there really wasn’t good timing for that. On the way out my dad asked the company hosting (my dad is a client of theirs) if they were hiring and they said not now but we hire often. I was told to send my resume. But honestly it’s probably a dead end… no idea what I could possibly do/make with them. After that I asked my dad to drive by the townhouse I didn’t jump on. It was decent but people hanging out in the street at 8:30 pm (unsupervised kids sitting on a car). I think they were likely harmless though. Definitely too far from casino. Hope I hear back today. I’m trying to work with a staffing agency now in AL. I ended up in touch with them because they were behind one of the Indeed jobs I applied for.

Since I don’t know when power will be restored I forfeited my Sunday babysitting gig. Uggghhh

Building strength, muscle, and endurance is something I want to work on. I’ve been standing on my slant board more lately. I know it helps.

I agree on them being different. I was standing 3 hours at a concert about a month ago. It was painful. And my neighborhood walks tend to be 45 min or so. My treadmill walks (faster pace than neighborhood walk) tend to be 45 min which is when pain kicks in. If I do the full hour I regret that last 15 min. So I try to listen to my body. I can bike longer and I think it’s a more efficient way to burn calories but I don’t want to give up step goals. I think walking is essential & important. I recently went on a trip and we walked around Memphis all day. But not like steady walking… a shrine, putt putt golf, IKEA, and a mall. When we got to the mall I was done… I told them I’d stay in the food court while they browsed. I hate that it’s like that. That’s not that much activity.

To clarify, I really didn’t say much. I asked questions. And I’m not sure ds is predicting backlash from dad so much as not wanting to rock the boat/disagree with this person he thinks so highly of.

Ok

Because you haven’t met xh lol… Ds would need xh the same way I would… to deal with the paper part. And in his case, to get to the DMV for the permit test and later the DL test. Ds won’t go over xh’s head (ie ask someone else to drive him to the DMV). And I’m certainly not in a good position to do it. All I can do is advocate or suggest things it seems. I should probably stay in my lane (har har). Ds considers dad his best friend (🤮) and is currently volunteering at his work over the summer. I’m sure ds will sooner drop it than push against dad.

That’s roughly what time wise? Because I’m worried that’s where I might be already. I last a certain set of time then I’m in pain. And that doesn’t give me any more hope of a job where I’d be on my feet.

I asked him his thoughts last night. He said he did want to start sooner than later as you must have the permit 12 months before getting the DL and it would delay his ability to drive to a job. He doesn’t want to get permit at 16 and DL at 17. That’s what he said. We also discussed if walking to a job was practical. I suggested he do a test run because I don’t think he realizes how miserable it is to walk to work in this humidity. There are 1-2 potential businesses semi close… like I said upthread what I would consider decent biking distance. He seems to think Dad is pushing off the permit til “next year” and I asked if he meant this coming school year or another. He wasn’t see and said Dad had been vague (typical annoying responses from xh I’m sure… evade direct questions). I said we should get Dad to clarify and it’s something maybe we can all discuss later. But I know at the end if the day xh will do what he wants. My opinion and ds’ won’t matter.

Those of you that went with minimalist shoes… was your main issue heel pain or what?? Mine is a tight fascia that hurts my arch.