I assumed she meant if she physically saw a group of kids with the person. But I would still hesitate to ask that question. Does it sound like I mean biologically, legally, etc. I figured she would be asking to clarify if some of the kids were just friends or relatives tagging along. Lol. I think it's more like the further north you go, the more popular some of the other state colleges are. Around here you always see sports symbols/decals/cups/etc. for the other schools, but not ours. I think the other schools are more expensive and at least one of them has this "rich/snooty" association (real or imagined).

:grouphug:

I gotta admit those co-pays sound awful. I really hope you can find another solution. I don't know if everyone noticed the copay fees.

Maybe because like you said the people asking/being asked were almost all similar already. I have experienced being asked things in a judgy way so I don't think the questions are always innocent. I don't always mind when people ask certain things but I do understand it from either point of view. Like if someone asked me where I went to college I might brace myself because my alma mater is not as well liked around here.

:laugh:

They're not always innocent. That's the thing. That's why tone/context matter so much.

YES. I worked as a cashier on/off for years. My most recent job as a cashier? MINIMUM WAGE. They said that's what everyone had to get. I don't know if there is room for a raise there. I just worked a few shifts during their busy time. And the job I was talking about up thread where I would work FT and only get a little bit of pay. It was an assistant teacher. The pay in my state is crap and I wouldn't hold my breath for any raises. After so many years I'm sure you move into a different bracket, but the start out pay was so low it worked out to about min. wage, and a bit more if you divided the pay by 10 mo. not 12 since you'd have summers off and technically not work summers.

I'm not the OP. I just understood the thread differently than what was probably intended.

Yes, it can be rude. This illustrates it. I don't think it's _always_ rude. Really depends on context, tone, etc. Usually when people say it to me I figure it's because I was not born in the South and have less of a Southern accent than some of the people around me. I am half Mexican, but I think most people just think I'm a white girl with really dark hair.

Is there a religious gift shop or such? When I was looking for First Communion gift ideas I lucked out at a Christian book store, but other ideas I had included gifts made or sold by nuns. I don't know what would appeal to this particular friend. Does she need something to organize her Bible? (they sell little tabs for the pages) Or a Bible cover/case?

Yeah, just ask her if she'd be okay with (insert idea everyone seems on board with). Maybe the dinner. But if she doesn't want any of the suggestions then I guess it's kind of rude to push it. Maybe she'd just like to see everyone close to her, but not have it be an official party.

Ahh. Maybe that explains it. I literally just had two weird things happen today like that where I thought I would owe more. They said they will let me know if anything changes but didn't think I owed more than a co-pay when I took dd to the eye dr (they billed it as medical not vision).

Where did you start?

It might drive me nuts, but I'd try to give her the benefit of the doubt that she is reiterating what you say for the client's benefit (if they know her and trust her they want to hear it from her she may think), not just to be redundant. But, I don't know. Guess it depends on the vibe you get.

Honestly it all confuses me... I took dd to the ER a couple months ago. We had not reached our deductible so I was expecting a huge bill. Well after I filled out and returned the accident report they said yes, it was adjusted and no, we don't owe that much. So that makes me think if we didn't have ins. we would have paid a lot more despite not having met the deductible?? Maybe sometimes it helps to have ins. for weird things like that. Also, I recently started taking a medication and I pay a very small fee for it. Otherwise I guess I couldn't afford it. Dh has dd on his plan through work. I have my own plan. Ds has his own plan. We pay too much for insurance, but we've looked into combining to a family plan and it wouldn't be cheaper. We thought it would be, but after looking at the options again it's not. Can you look into more insurance options? Surely there is another solution than skipping insurance?

Honestly, I thought this thread was about people at home with kids during school hours and managing to work PT. That's why I wasn't thinking of daycare. That's what I was thinking. How could people afford to work and afford the daycare. That's mainly why I'm not working right now. I had a job interview recently and the pay was so low that after driving and paying for childcare I would probably only take home $100/mo. :( And it was actually a FT job. Summers off because it was a school. (and I heard the daycare requires FT fees whether you use it PT or FT which I'm sure is an obstacle for people working PT).

I'm sorry, OP. I'm not sure how to handle my 9yr old. He's constantly whining about everything we ask him to do. He'll say he needs a break when he's barely done anything. The min. we ask him to do school work or chores he says he has a headache, is tired, lazy, etc. I keep seeing posts on this board where people make suggestions for a developmental ped. Are they common? I'm not the OP but I am curious about how to handle an explosive child as well (and yes, I have The Explosive Child book but I guess I lost my place in it and knew that dh would be difficult to get on board with making a lost of lagging skills).

2012? His prescription has probably changed. Speaking as someone that wears glasses. YMMV. Do you have contact info for who you bought the used car from or was it from a dealership? I don't think the eye place will be able to do much but it can't hurt, either.

I own one full slip and it's miserable. It is too clingy. My half slips are old and do not fit well. Last time I looked for a slip it was very difficult. Glad to see some people have seen them in stores. To me a petticoat is the big fluffy thing that sometimes deliberately sticks out of dresses. I think of a slip as thin and lying flat and not meant to be seen.

Yep, I can see that. I have a 2 yr old. I have thought about trying different things from home, but I feel like I can't get anything done. I've asked dh to make phone calls for me before but he doesn't want to do that on his lunch break and I say that I don't like making phone calls with a toddler screaming in the background. I've timed phone calls to the insurance company before to take place after I parked the car in the school pick up line because at least I knew dd would be sleeping in the backseat at that point. I've pulled the car over after getting ds in just so I could complete a phone call in peace.

exactly

I don't know if knowing people at the church would make it more or less embarrassing. If I knew them, I could joke with them afterwards that I got mixed signals on what to do and laugh it off.

I'm sorry. It stinks. I went to a funeral recently and I was shocked that my grandma agreed to cremation. But I know it was to be practical. She was being buried out of state. My grandma's church has a bereavement committee. After her funeral there was a meal (small church so not a million people) provided and a dessert table. But that's just how that particular church is. I'm sure it varies. Most funerals I have been to the food is done separately, like you drive to a restaurant or meet up at a family member's home.

I think it's partly a Southern thing. Seems like the majority of people I meet have a relative here. Even if they aren't someone with young kids. Their brother, their sister, their aunt, their parents, someone. We used to live closer to our parents, but when we did we still weren't in the same town or able to rely on them for a million kid-related things. Like, my parents currently live a few hours away but Mom has Parkinson's. She can't even hold my kids. Dad doesn't do well with really young kids, but now that ds is older, I could leave ds over there if I had to while visiting. MIL will watch the kids if we visit but I feel like we have to have a good reason to leave them there without us. We basically get chided if we want to go on a date night ("when we had kids we didn't go on dates"). When I went back to my hometown for my grandma's funeral I ran into the mom of an old high school classmate. She said her daughter lived in town. She apparently moved away for a few years but settled down there. I think it's really common. My siblings live very far away, but none of them have kids.

Well I don't know people that specifically have an in-law that does daycare all day, but my SIL used a daycare run by her husband's family member (so they got a discount I'm sure and had the comfort of knowing someone in charge) and now that both her kids are older my MIL picks them up from school every.single.day. and brings them to her house til my SIL gets off work. When I lived closer to my MIL I did not like to ask her to do things like that as I don't particularly like my kids riding with her. Her vehicles smell like smoke and then I'd have to worry about making sure the right car seat was installed. Another person I know has mentioned on social media how when she had to juggle all the kids she asks her dad to tag along with her. I know he's not the only relative near her, either. That's great. I'm happy for them. But I just know that's not possible for everyone. I suspect that some days she'd have her in-laws pick the kids up from school, too. When I worked at VBS her kids were there but I didn't see the parents both days I was there. I think the in-laws brought the kids. I do have a lawyer friend with kids. She's a single mom. Her parents helped her out all the time. Driving the kids and watching them. I think her mom watched her kids when they were really young.