You don't seem to fathom that my "good" reason for feeling so depressed is that I have a mental illness. Or perhaps you don't feel this is a good enough reason?

Do you not see how loaded your language is in this thread? As I sat in the hospital, I used the same judgmental language with myself that you are using here. "Why am I in the hospital with these people? They've had terrible things happen to them. My life is great in comparison. I have no good reason to be this depressed." And that type of judgmental self-talk just made the depression (and concomitant suicidal thoughts) worse. Yes, everyone experiences highs and lows. But, not everyone experiences mood swings akin to Mt. Everest and the Mariana Trench. Unmedicated, my mood swings are several standard deviations from the norm.

The legality/morality of suicide was *never* a factor for me. I liken my experiences (yes, plural) attempting suicide to temporary insanity. Meaning, I was mentally incapable of recognizing the nature of the act. I understand that not everyone has this experience, but I really disassociate from the entire experience and have little memory of it. To help put things into perspective, I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, a supportive family, a law degree from a prestigious school and was making in excess of 300k per year at a top law firm, and have never been the victim of abuse. Why would I do such a thing? I have an illness. And, despite wonderful doctors, and years of therapy and medication, sometimes the illness simply overpowers my mind to tragic effect. And, at the end of the day, the illness might ultimately win no matter how fiercely I might struggle against it. If that day comes, I will not have failed to persevere.

For the love of G-d, suicide is not a failure to persevere. If you're going to repeat these types of comments in a thread with suicide survivors, at least put a trigger warning. Several of us have already explained our thought processes, which, for me, have been nothing like the conscious, rational, binary (fail to persevere or stick it out) choice you're making suicide out to be.

I take Gabapentin at a pretty high dose and am prone to weight gain. It has been weight neutral for me when few things are. I haven't lost anything either (in fairness, I have to really work my butt off to lose weight, and I have not been doing so). I would not attribute an overnight weight gain to a med taken once.

Did anyone else read this? http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/04/magazine/inside-a-chinese-test-prep-factory.html?utm_content=buffer15e5c&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer&_r=1 I vividly remember the pain of cramming for the bar exam -- a crucible that I would not wish on my worst enemy -- but this takes things to a whole new level.

Thank you, Dory, for having the courage to share this. It resonates with me very deeply. Approximately 1 in 4 people with bipolar ultimately commit suicide. I am only here because I have an amazing husband and strong support system, including excellent doctors (funded by excellent insurance coverage). I can say with certainty that, if any one of those variables was changed, I would not be here today. It has next to nothing to do with resilience. When I am suicidal, I try to think of my children. My doctor knows that I am the hyperanalytical type, so she frequently reminds me of the stats for children of parents who have committed suicide. Suffice to say, they are not good. However, there have been times in my life where my mind simply could not be reasoned with. It's like trying to convince someone in the middle of a tornado that there are blue skies just above. I had absolutely zero rational thought, and was overcome by the swirling darkness in the depths of my depression. I assure you, there was little choice in the matter.

I was a child who knew what she wanted to "be" early on. I was hyperfocused on achieving that goal -- to the exclusion of a lot of introspection about whether achieving that goal was actually going to make me happy. I was so focused on that singular goal that, when other interesting paths opened up, I didn't take the time to really explore them with an open mind and heart. Ultimately, it was quite painful to realize that I wasn't happy being what I had worked so hard to become. So, even if my children show the kind of passion that I did early on, I would still encourage them to explore other paths and really listen to their inner voice as the ultimate guide (even if that voice meanders along other paths). I found that it was very difficult for me to drown out those outside voices ('you would make such a great doctor, lawyer, scientist, etc.') and really follow your joy.

I would buddy read or try the free Progressive Phonics readers. Or the Nora Gaydos books.

We recently enjoyed The One and Only Ivan.

Ellie, I'm very aware of your history. I've read it many times. I have also read your opinions numerous times in threads about CA charters or the many "is this homeschooling?" threads. I'm not saying that your opinions are irrelevant. I lived in Monterey in the late 90s. I have opinions about it based on my experience living there. But, I also recognize that I'm no longer living there, that things may be different from my recollection, and that therefore my experience years ago has some limitations.

I get that, but your characterization is that these types of practices are commonplace. Yet, none of the people actually homeschooling with charters in this thread have witnessed similar occurences. I also understand that you privately homeschooled in CA for quite some time, but it feels like an attack to be constantly told that those of us using charters are not really homeschooling, that we are uninformed, that we have given up all control to the state, etc. -- most especially since this critique is coming from someone no longer living or homeschooling here. There are good and bad charters, there are charters with tremendous flexibility and those without. I understand that you may have a philosophical objection to charters, and that's fine *for your family*. But please recognize that other well informed people on this board have made other choices for theirs.

This. It's a generational issue, not a regional one. Annoying and rude regardless.

What is your relationship with Jesus? After searching every flavor of Christianity, I realized that I didn't believe in the fundamental tenets of Christianity. I converted to Judaism in my early 30s. Have you ever been to a synagogue or mosque? More thinking outside the box...

As someone actually living in CA, and active in numerous online and in-person homeschooling groups in Southern California, this has not been my experience at all. People move into this area, and those interested in homeschooling are very aware of their options. They join FB groups or other fora, and ask questions about the laws and the community. I've never seen anyone pressured into joining a charter. In fact, our charter currently has a wait list because so many families want the hybrid homeschooling option it provides. Many homeschoolers in Southern California school privately. Many school through a charter, especially in the younger years. There is an abundance of choice and the homeschooling community is growing and thriving. Perhaps some condider us sellouts or slaves to state control; I consider us lucky to have so many choices to find the right fit for our families.

We are very happy with our charter. My oldest is in K and we only HS because he is accelerated. We choose any secular materials we want, and they have no issues with my son working several grade levels ahead. We chose our charter because of the fun enrichment classes they offer. Other charters in our area offer more money if you don't want to take classes, but my extremely extroverted son loves his classes at the charter. They have Spanish, art, music, robotics, Lego, gardening, performing arts, programming, and tons of others. Our EF comes to our house once per month and we turn in 4 samples every other month, along with a PE log. There is optional testing once per year in 3rd or 4th. This hybrid homeschooling works great for us, and I imagine that we will continue at least K-6. My son would not get enough social time (even though we do plenty of extracurricular activities) if we were privately homeschooling, so I'm fine with the notional loss of control (I say notional because the charter hasn't impacted our curricular choices or homeschooling philosophy one iota, except to the extent that I no longer have to worry about my homeschooling budget).

It's this one: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/grammaropolis/id559851814?mt=8 We got it when it was free and my son likes to sing the grammar songs. I honestly haven't explored it myself.

We used this with my puker: http://www.kanoe.us/

Thanks, Susan and Eagle. Since we started WWE1 mid-year, we likely won't finish until closer to the middle of first. My son has a January birthday, so he should be close to 7 when we start WWE2. WWE1 has been going really well; I generally have him do the short copywork on the days we do spelling and the longer copywork on the days that we don't. We only school 3 days per week, as my son takes classes at his charter as well (and will likely continue this schedule next year), so I imagine that we will go pretty slowly with WWE2. We have already read the Brian Cleary books and he often asks to do more grammar (no idea why, but he loves a grammar app that I got for the tablet), hence the idea to start MCT next year. My understanding with MCT is that the actual output required is relatively low at the Island level (please correct me if I am wrong). I just wasn't sure if my expectations were completely unrealistic at this level and was hoping to hear others' experiences. So, as always, thank you all for your thoughts.

Thanks. This is very helpful.

We were using ELTL1, but switched over to WWE1 about a month ago because I wanted to concentrate more on narration vs. just copywork. I also wanted to spend more time reading contemporary literature selections. Both ELTL1 and WWE1 have been totally fine for my Ker, but I'm looking at WWE2 and it seems like a fairly big jump up. Has anyone used WWE2 with a 6 year old/1st grader? We also plan to continue with Rod Staff Spelling (3rd grade next year -- but I am not totally sold on whether spelling is really productive) and to start MCT Island level. I don't know, it just feels like a lot in total for a 6 year old. Anyone have experience with this or other recommendations?

I agree. I've had terrible withdrawal symptoms coming off SNRIs like Cymbalta and Effexor. Even when I weaned super slowly (for pregnancies), it was very tough going for me. I would proceed with caution and not hesitate to see a doctor if your symptoms relapse.

I have a chocolate brown Gucci briefcase that looks something like this: http://www.men-bags.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Gucci-dark-brown-guccissima-leather-briefcase-2.jpgI generally used it for court appearances or depositions. I also have a black leather Gucci bag. It is similar to this one: http://www.gucci.com/images/ecommerce/styles_new/201301/web_zoomin/277520_ANK0G_1000_001_web_zoomin.jpg I bought them when my sister worked at Gucci, so I got a nice discount, and I was a single, practicing attorney, so I had money to blow. I also have a small Louis Vuitton wallet and a Coach clutch. These days, I mostly buy my purses at Marshalls.

I could do it, but wouldn't want to. I've lived on our sailboat off and on the past 7 years. It's about 41 x 13 feet, so less than 400 sq. feet of living space for a family of 4. My husband loves it, but I much prefer a larger space. I'm noise averse and need some space to which I can retreat.

I'll put in a plug for this booklist by a fellow boardie. http://airskull.com/our-book-list-for-story-of-the-world-volume-1-ancient-times/