I'm not voting. The whole thing is so stinking arbitrary. Ds and I looked up fruits, veggies and starches, and it seems that it depends on the source as to how they're categorized. I'm starting to think where something sits on the pyramid is about as scientific as 'race.'

My ds over thinks it when he's writing. He does the same thing, he spells correctly orally, but when if he has too much time to write it down, his spelling goes nuts. I figured out that if I time his spelling tests, he does better, because he doesn't have time to really mull the word over. Otherwise, he thinks about it so much that it all becomes gobbledygook. Say 'water' long enough and you'll hear an 'h,' a 'd,' and a 'u.' We're working on this, but the only way I know how to counter act it is by distracting him with music. This is how I used to do all of my writing for class, and even now, I spell much better if I can distract myself, subtly, with loud music. The quality of my work, overrall, is much better if there's noise. Go figure :confused:

Next door, down the street, to my parents house (giggle), family dinners, here ;)

Joanne, what kind of bike is it and how much are you guys hopeing to get? Dh's bike is wearing out. If you guys are relatively close, maybe we could work something out. Otherwise, no worries. Bikes are much cheaper to maintain, it should sell quick. :grouphug:

:rofl: (he's supposed to be rofl, but it looks like a one legged pacman writhing in pain?) Just so you know, you made me lol.

Any fixes for brushed stainless steel? Our brand-new fridge is covered with 'art.' I've given up on the dss' bedroom and their playroom. We converted to chalk and crayola, but I don't even wash it off anymore... it's just like presenting him with a fresh sheet of paper :glare: I would love some more info on the trapeze... Oh, and our youngest ds is covered with "tatoos" most of the time. We completely switched to crayola markers after the cat face incident. Nothing like a two-year-old with black "whiskers" for a week. After the first week, it faded and he looked like he had some strange disease, or we had been beating him about the face with super thin whips. Going out in public is always an adventure... I wonder why I'm a hermit ;)

:iagree: Lol, I was wondering why they would say, with Todd is.... didn't even think of the possessive.

I would definitely not medicate. It sounds like they just want to make him a compliant little zombie they can ignore. In TWTM, she explains how writing takes longer and forcing a child to write when they aren't ready is counter productive. I took my son out of school and it has proven much less terrifying than I thought it would be. It's actually really fulfilling (for me), to be able to help him learn and grow. We do not have cabin fever. We enjoy each other so much more now and he's really flying through much of the work. :grouphug: Do what you think is best.

My ds is 7. We're all over the place, grade wise, but this is what we'll be using by.. end of March: Grammar: First Language Lessons level 2 (presently using) Spelling: Spelling Workout 3 (waiting for it to arrive) Writing: Writing with Ease level 2 (presently using) Math: Saxon Math 3 (waiting for it to arrive) Latin: Prima Latina (presently using) History: Story of the World Vol. 1 (presently using) Science: Various books for Astronomy (presently using) by September: Grammar, may be up to First Language Lessons Level 3 Spelling, Workout 3 Writing, maybe nearing level 3 Math, still Math 3 Latin: Latina Christiana History: Story of the World Vol. 2 Science: Adventures with Atoms and Molecules, other stuff for Chemistry I'm looking to be at grade level for history before fourth grade, but I'm pretty sure we'll be ahead in Math and maybe language. I'm not really challenging ds with language just yet, he needs to learn all the rules first, but we still do up to five grammar lessons a day. He's a natural speller, but he wasn't taught any of the 'rules' so we're working on those, and the writing program is so adaptable that we're using longer passages than recommended, and could probably move up a level, but I'm not worried about it. I've finally given up on saying what specific grade we're doing, instead saying he'd be in second in ps.

I'm only learning now how twisted my parents' marraige is. My mother puts on a grand show of cowing to my father, but her remarks, always behind his back, blinded me to the truth. My dad is a good man. An incredibly good man, especially considering his own childhood. He's put up with over thirty years of nasty back handed remarks, relationship sabatoge (sorry for my spelling), not to mention the accusations of abuse that have been leveled at him. My mom is manipulative and controlling. She used both nagging and back stabbing to turn my dad into a man that is cold and distant. I'm learning who my dad really is, only now, as an adult and with my mother too sick to intervene. I'm so angry that I've lost so many years, believing my dad to be everything she said he was, when in reality, he is kind, smart, gentle, loving, he listens and pays attentions, and he CARES. I'm unbelievably lucky to have a husband that comes from a shattered childhood, with no real role models, but is able to be a stronger, kinder, more loving man than any other I've ever met. :grouphug: :iagree: :grouphug:

Richard Hogg, up the road, sells mobile homes... his plates say RichHog :001_huh: I had one named Dr. Kil (kill, that made me super comfortable).

If I had enough time to go to a hs group........ I would probably opt to do yard work instead ;) There is a hs skate at the local rink, we go, but I don't know anyone there and it's so cliqueish in this county that I doubt I will ever learn any of the parents' names...

Can't double quote either :) You said it better than I did, thank you. The problem, as I see it, is that many people will say that both examples are nagging. When a man gets torn down like that, it's seen as his wife 'training' him or just nagging, or even worse, people will say, why don't you just do it already, sheesh. In the times when situations do not foster intimacy, I would say it is the most important time for s*x. It's like saying, I love you, before he leaves for work, even if we were fighting a minute before hand. Because, no matter how angry or confused I am, I do love him. My dh sees physical intimacy as the ultimate sign of love. For him, that's how he knows I love him. I know that. If I were to start using sex as a tool to get what I want, to express my displeasure or anger, it would cut him deeply. The essence of an abuser is knowing where it hurts worst and then digging in. Some women know their dhs are like mine and they take away s*x to make a point. That, imo, is abusive. Granted, no court is going to find a woman guilty of emotional abuse for withholding s*x, but then it's very difficult to get any emotional abuse punished in a court of law. I appreciate how non-confrontational you were in your response to me. I was not trying to point fingers or anything, but as a victim of abuse, I can easily understand why it would be difficult for you to believe that men can be abused at the same rates, iykwIm, as women. My point, or the one I was trying to make, was that the ways many women abuse their dhs are so.... sly (for lack of a better word) as to go, not just unnoticed, but noticed and accepted. Noticed and made the fodder for jokes. Oh, it's just hilarious to watch some mundane sitcom where the wife rails against her husband, calling all sorts of names, not to mention inadequate, or rolling her eyes behind his back, making gestures, saying (or implying) what an idiot he is. Later, when they're in their bed and she turns a cold shoulder, the canned laughter goes through fade out. It really bothers me, but I guess I've made clear ;)

You made me lol :lol:

I've known men that were broken by nagging. Insidious, cruel words, constantly flung at them until they finally shut down. As soon as they reach home or wake up in the morning, there it comes and there they go. They might be there physically, but mentally they've completely shut down. The power that naggers wield is the power to disembowel someone with words. To cut them down so rapidly and with such consistency that there is no fight left in them. You never, you should, I should've, you are, you were, you aren't. It goes and goes and goes and for the men who face the worst of it, it kills off a part of them. They stop caring, they stop living outwardly once they have reached 'home.' Not all nagging is abusive, but I do think the intentions of most nagging is hurt the other person. To point out what they lack, what they don't do right, what they should do better. It's not constructive, it's cruel. I didn't think I said it did... lol, I'm on pain killers at the second and a little slooow. ;) Looked back and understood where you were coming from. Removing love and even the cold shoulder have been equated with emotional abuse, for the reasons I listed. It implies that the person could drop their spouse as easy as a bad habit, or even easier. It implies that love will be removed as a punishment for transgressions. If you don't agree with me, then I will not love you. If you do not do as I say, then I will not love you. It is very, very controlling.

My youngest is the same way. My family calls him "active" (with raised eyebrows and a knowing nod). I've learned to clean up once the tornado has gone to sleep. I've learned not to hover. I've learned that some things, like my super nice tea set, were just not meant to be. I don't know if I've become apathetic, or just more relaxed :) If it helps, you aren't alone. All I can advise is to stand back, watch the fireworks and clean-up when they're over. Get used to sharing the bathroom, it's easier than having a little one banging and screaming for the whole five minutes. Oh, and bathroom duck does a good job at getting crayon off the walls. Finally, ask yourself, do you really need Sharpies? Couldn't you just use Crayola? Sometimes they wash off... Lol...

I have to disagree about nagging, no sex, etc. not being abusive. Nagging is normally intended to show the person that they are not ----- enough. It is emotional abuse, one that tends to be accepted in society, even laughed at, but that does not make it right. A person can only hear how worthless they are so many times before they start to believe it. They can only hear their downfalls so many times before it starts to eat away at them. Withholding sex, for many men, is the equivalent of withholding love. Because physical intamacy (sp sorry, I took something for my headache and now I can only half-think) is equated with love (for many men) refusing it is aking to saying, 'I don't have to love you. When you make me angry I do not love you. I can stop loving you at any time, whenever it suits me.' As for disparaging remarks, tearing the other person down, creating an ideal 'self' for public and a weaker, lesser self for the spouse is exactly what so many men do to protect themselves and make their victims appear the aggressor. Regardless of which person is doing it, it is abusive or at the very least a harbinger of abuse. I think your perspective actually hinders you, as far as seeing that men can be equally as abused as women. As my father told me, 'we [men] have all the same emotions and feelings you women do, we just don't feel the need to show it. We bleed the same, we hurt the same and if you could see us on the inside, you'd know we cry the same.' Not all men are monsters, but all people can experience abuse and it hurts just the same.

I've known more men than women that were/are being abused in their relationships. The diff? They can't speak up, who wants to be the man cowering infront of his wife? Who supports the guy that cries out, 'she's mean to me, she does horrible things, she's cruel, she's crazy!' Some guys do, with a wink a smile and an eye roll. It's assumed to be a joke and the guys that push it become suspect. My uncle could not get custody of his sons until his x abandoned them one by one. No one believed she was off her rocker, and he refused to testify to the things she had said and done to him. He said it was for his sons, but I'm sure there was pride in that. A friend of ours is finally getting a divorce from a woman that used to belittle him infront of everyone. He didn't initiate the divorce, she did. She said he wasn't even a man anymore. I knew more about their sex life than I did my own. I knew his every short coming, I knew his every 'wrong.' She broadcast it at every single get together. My brother married a nut job that had him changing jobs and moving... to make her happy. It took him years to figure out she was unhappy because she was nuts. She could never be happy. Once they were divorced she would call and say the most atrocious things. My brother was incredibly hurt, but he refused to do anything about it, because he was a man... he had to stand up and take it like a man, by God. Men abuse women and women abuse men. It's not because I want to be PC that I say this. It's because it's taken me years to really see the damage that some of the women in my life have caused the men that love them. We don't call it abuse, we say they're pu*** whipped, we say they're weak, we say they can't hack it, we say the women are PMSing, we say it's her perogative, we say she's 'training' him. Why would they come forward? Why would they fight back? So they can be a laughing stock? As long as I keep my left eye closed I'm okay... does that make any sense at all? Anyway, I'm just checking in, lol, as if you were worried sick or something. I was going to ask if you ever second guessed yourself, coming out of that situation. Now I realize what a dumb question that is, of course you did, doesn't everyone? But what if's are pointless. IOW, subject dropped, or rather, gently set down and stepped away from. :)

:iagree:

I have a migraine coming on, so I'm typing with my eyes closed, for the most part... I respect your decision not to do so, not to say I disagree, but rather, have respect for you for having decided such and standing by it. Until I can keep my eyes open (without pain), I'm going off line. Here's to tomorrow, and no screaming head aches....

But aren't those changes covered under, through sickness and health, for better and for worse? Not trying to argue, but curious. I've always heard, and at one point said, we've changed, I've changed, were different people now. My dh's response was that he married me, period. If he wouldn't have kept pushing, kept standing by his vows, we would've been divorced. Now, I see how right he was. Of course, I'm different and he's different, but that doesn't change the promise we made to each other, iykwIm. In those instances, where mental illness rears its ugly head, hormones shift, chemicals balance and go out of whack, I've always wondered whether or not divorce was merited.

Lol... my boys don't need to try to make any noise at all. It's like noise comes out of their pores, they ooze it from everywhere. I wonder if that is a boy thing? I don't remember dd doing it and she doesn't do it now, but both of my boys humm, make sound effects, or just make the world's most annoying mouth noises all the time. Maybe I should give dh a listen tonight and see if he does this too?

My dh will never sell the house we live in. Even if we were to move, we'll keep the house. He loves this house and he sees it as security. We own it, it's paid for. He sees this as a possible last refuge if things go wrong somewhere else. It's his root, his haven, etc. If it were us, we'd go with letting the church use it while we're gone. Assuming you trust the leadership to use care, you should find your home in reasonably good condition when/if you return. Besides, with the market the way it is right now, there's not much point in putting it for sale. This way, you don't have to worry about the house sitting empty, acting as a magnet for people looking to remove copper or vandals looking for something to do.

Why not let him read the history and then make a mini-class for listening comprehension?