But, if you're protecting your benefits by concealing your relationship, then isn't THAT lying. IOW, you don't marry, because you want your benefits, but for all intents and purposes (as a Christian) you may as well be married, then isn't NOT getting married the same as lying about your cohabitation? Also, I'm basing this off of what she (next quote) said, as this is exactly what I've seen in these sorts of situations: :iagree: Okay, but she should be married, because that's what God wants, right? And her 'spiritual marraige' if it was done by someone licensed by the state, should've been a legal marraige as well. If she is concealing her marraige from the government, then isn't she lying to them? Render unto Ceasar and all that. So, you'd move from one sin, fornication, to two, false witness, and you could up that to three if you count defying the government as one. I'm not trying to be rude, this is just the way it appears to me. This is also why I think it is a GOOD thing, when fellow members of the same body approach one another about ongoing sin. The idea isn't condemnation, but helping each other to hit the mark.

I think it's just that so many times with people ask for help they're accused of an entitlement attitude... that's all, I wasn't trying to be harsh :p As for jobs... most of those jobs say they're willing to work around college schedules and follow up with, if you can't be here then you're fired.

Tuition is expensive. Maybe the kid was hoping for some help. (Also, I'm not sure he feels entitled... if he did he'd probably have been at SS raiding the food closet).

I agree with Scarlet (re, Godly gov.). Also, God is going to help you walk the path. The couple you mention... wouldn't hiding their marraige be tantamount to telling lies and cheating the government? IOW, it's not just a simple sin of fornication, it's also failing to render unto Ceasar and false witness isn't it? One thing I've noticed with what seems to be silly little nothings is that their roots go very deep and once a sort of inventory is done it turns out they're causing more damage than may be readily apparent. God supports us when we're on the right path, but He isn't going to help us sin.

I have not read the responses, odds are this has been said a million times already :p but in case it hasn't... Please note the emphasis is mine :) Also, I won't quote the whole thing for this, there is a particular way to deal with this (sin in the body). First, one person approaches (like the pastor did). Then, that person with two or three witnesses, approach a second time. Finally, the body or congregation takes a vote. The idea is to send the (in this case) fornicator out for the 'destruction of the flesh' so 'the soul can be saved.' This is meant to be done in love. IOW, yes the money situation stinks. Yes, it would seem okay for everything to remain as it is, but (BUT) is that what God wants? Is no money and a sexual relationship worth missing the mark? I agree with your pastor and I believe your church has handled this beautifully. I should warn, though, that if this has been bothering you to the point of causing strife within the body of that church, then you really need to reexamine where you stand and your own actions. God doesn't want us being negative, back biting or causing strife in his body. :grouphug:

Dh's grampa used to say to strip while you run... they'll stop to attack every article of clothing (according to him) giving you a better chance of escape. So, maybe you should just wear some extra layers???:lol:

It's also warmer, which means less frostbite :lol:

Don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but have you tried putting the diapers on him backward? We had to do that... you may need to go up a size (so his rear fits in the front), but with the tabs in the back it's harder for them to streak :p Also, you might get to watch your lil' darlin' go around in circles chasing his tail, trying to take it off the first few times ;)

I don't run away when I want to. I take a deep breath and try to explain, calmly, one more time, the whys or hows that have sent my boys into mean/nasty mode. I remember how hard it was to be 12 and give sympathy (even when I don't really feel it) when dd has a tough time. I washed a multitude of dirty sheets and air out a mattress at least twice a week, while saying, 'honey, everyone has accidents, you'll get better at making it through the night.' I 'do' school, even when I want to quit. I cook dinner, even when I want to let em' starve for once. I don't cry when I'm sorely disappointed by their actions (infront of them anyway) and I stand firm next to dh (even when I think he's wrong). Finally, I maintain a cheerful exterior (for the most part), even when it feels like the world's crumbling down around me, because I know that for all my submission, dh relies on my strength. I call my mil, and keep tabs, because dh wants to know, but can't bring himself to ask. I say no, even when it hurts, if necessity calls for it. I will let someone else have the hot water, because they think their day was worse. I listen to music I dislike, I smile over books I can't stand, and I accept friends I think are beneath them. Deep down I'm a selfish, whiny, snob, but no one in family knows that. :lol:

:iagree: I think we went off in June though :p

Let him continue to do it his way. I've taught ds a few different methods for multiplication and let him use what works for him. I HAVE found that computer games with multiplication (number munchers for instance), make him multiply (mentally) faster and nearly always end up in some memorization, if only because of the repitition combined with the need for speed. hth

I own a Lincoln Continental. :lol:

Schooling year round. If we miss a week due to illness that's our vacation for that month. We also have a few extra weeks to play with, so we end up with at least 36 weeks. Most of our classes are one lesson a week, for those that are a new lesson every day, if there's more lessons than time, then we will sometimes double up. I'm pretty flexible and for math we don't use a set curriculum at all. I use the state's SOLs as a guide and teach whatever is necessary to the extreme point of ds's ability. IOW, he's only required to multiply a two-digit number by a single digit, but he's capable (now) of multiplying multiple digit numbers by multiple digit numbers. He only has to know how to add an subtract fractions, but he knows how to multiply and divide them. We're struggling on measurements, but that's what we'll tackle in January, until he conquers it :)

As long as it's not offensive I'm open to nearly everything. I love some Rappers' Delight :p

:iagree: I believe Dickens does that at times too. I've seen it in numerous older books.

If she's a strong speller, then go with the vocab recommendations... Just my opinion ;)

Okay, we're using the same system... don't tell ds, though, he's got a TON more chores than yours :p If you have to, stand over dd 6 and tell her to pick things up individually. I do this with ds 3 when he has to pick up, because he does not know what to pick up and loses focus. Maybe a few days of you making it abundantly clear will cement it. If she gets angry (ds 8 does when I do this) then explain that once she starts to do it on her own then you will leave her alone. If she agrees to do it alone, give her a time limit (and let her know, she'll lose stuff if she doesn't finish)! Take a stab at how long it should take, time her and if she's not done, take away something for the rest of the day. For older ds he loses his nintendo ds privileges first, then game cube, then tv, then it's to his room. Maybe having a list of losses could help? Ds and I have discussed this at length. Our church has been covering stewardship for the last couple of Sundays. God has lent us these things. We must take care of them both to show gratitude and to show that we are capable of handling bigger/better things. If he (or in your case, she) can't take care of what we have now, then why would God give more? Our pastor used lending instead of giving to really cement the idea that were are stewards taking care of God's things. When we think of a gift, the idea is, it's mine and I'll do whatever I want with it. However, when we borrow things, or we're taking care of someone else's things, we're much more careful that we show we deserved the trust implicit in the temporary gift. :) hth

Oh no, there's absolutely nothing they could be reporting on that could have actual bearing on the world today... not at all... Bored, or lazy?

So... when do the parents eat? Ugh, it's hard enough getting the kids to do SOME chores without even trying to get them to do everything! Ds and I are going to trade chores for the week between Christmas and New Year's... he thinks my chores are easier :001_huh: I'm looking forward to the break.

:001_huh: I'm just glad they finally stopped showing pictures of parents (or houses!!), or revealing the names of parents when they were "protecting" the identity of a minor :glare:

I doubt you'd have to be a Christian to be disgusted by someone claiming godhood as a way to hurt others :( I come to bring you rehabilitation and to bring it more abundantly....... nope, doesn't ring any bells.

Knowing my mil as I do, I don't blame him. If he told her and she either ignored it or claimed he was lying, it would break his heart. It would not surprise me if that was her reaction. She's not the most stable of people, but she's all he has left, beside his uncle whom she's dating :glare:

Just fyi, it's possible to break the cycle, without therapy, or even removal. Dad did, dh did. Both know how profoundly wrong what happened to them was, BUT they both have VERY different takes on the victims of such abuse than most other people I know. My dad's thought is along the lines of, "you're only a victim if you allow yourself to be. It didn't ruin my life, because I refused to allow it too." IOW, victims are just weak. Dh's view is "it happens to nearly everyone. I'll protect my sons as best I can, but if something does happen (after murdering the perpetrator in the slowest most painful way possible), they will be able to have a normal life, and I won't allow anyone to tell them any differently." IOW, victims only stay victims, because people tell them they're victims. If you realize how often these things happen, and they do, then you realize that plenty of normal, successful people had it happen and they moved on. Again, they both think that victims or people who are emotionally scarred in the long-term, to their own detriment, are only doing so because a. they're weak or b. someone told them that's the way it should be. Not to say I completely agree, but I do think their perspectives are very interesting. I've known an abuser that is completely reformed (as remembered in another thread somewhat related to this one). I do trust that person, and I was their victim. I KNOW they repent. However, the two that abused Dad and dh, they either completely deny any wrong doing (pretending that nothing ever happened, like dh's abuser) or (in the case of Dad's family) they're twisted enough to think it's normal. I'm very glad that woman was dead before I came along. I have no doubt that we'd have never met her, but I'm glad I never even had the chance. It was hard enough trying to be nice to Dad's mother after finding out her own part in his abuse. I'm not too upset that she's left the earthly realm either. Interestingly, in her case, the majority of the people at her funeral were from the area she'd moved to (out West). None of her children went. Three of her grandchildren (myself and my sibs) and one dil (my mom) were there. Those neighbors flew all the way to VA to cry over her and I have to say... she must've changed, because her family (her own CHILDREN) did not bother to call the hospital while she was on her death bed, but her neighbors and friends were truly distraught over losing her.

:hurray: :party: Congratulations!

I love the ones that pop up unbidden.