Um, what are Duggars?

I had never heard of it, until my MIL tried to tell me about beige and keeping quiet. Just couldn't see that with her, and didn't want it. Of course, there's a LOT of rules, I'm finding out, that we were blissfully unaware of at the time, and many more we chose to simply ignore. Register for wedding gifts? My DH and I met in college and knew each other 10 YEARS before we tied the knot. We needed to cull the household stuff, not add to it. We asked for family pictures and stories. Most gleefully complied, creating some quite nifty books for us. Other crafty aunts made us quilts, afghans, and such. I LOVED our presents, and didn't need or want to return a single one! Bride's family pays for it all? Please! see reason above (10 years as productive adults, blah blah, blah). Dad still found his way to shine as FOB (he and Mom had special roles in our ceremony), and we didn't stress his opinion of our choice of venue. (He was aghast we weren't getting married in an actual church, until I explained that we were flying in Aunt Pat to do the ceremony. Well, apparently family trumps architecture!) Guys rent, girls buy and never wear again? DH and his brothers all had matching suits worn for both brothers' weddings, and DH's other groomsman bought a suit (out of state and not having seen the other suits) that was strikingly similar. I sent money to the gals and told them they'd better pick something they like, autumn colors (no further specification). We made bouquets and flower baskets from artificial flowers (certain family still has theirs), and bought grocery store roses to strip for petals for the two flower girls to throw. I remember reading the Little House books when I was a kid. Laura Ingalls got married in a black dress. Back then every woman had to have a good black dress ready to hand in case she had to go into mourning, and these and wedding dresses took a lot of work. If it wasn't possible (sometimes due to lack of appropriate materials, sometimes due to the newly married couple setting off quickly to a distant place) to have a wedding dress ready in time then the black dress was next in line and considered the most appropriate option. The best advice I'm reading is have friendly talks with your soon-to-be family, like what you wear, and have a good time.

They are in our wall pictures! But then again, DH and I just don't seem to follow the "rules".... We even had a minister say we shouldn't get married and predict it would fail in 3 years (12 years and counting...). And as DH is a dog and I am a dragon on the Chinese zodiac placemats at Beijing restaurant we are supposed to avoid each other according to that source, too. Viva la indifference! Wear something you like, and enjoy the day!

When DH and I were married my MIL told me that MOGs are supposed to wear beige and keep their mouths shut. I told her she can wear whatever she likes, and she'd better NOT keep her mouth shut. DH and I had enough to do, and our wedding was quite a simple one. All hands on deck, I told her. Since my Mom, my sis, my BF-sis-of-my-heart, and BF's daughter (one of two flower girls) all lived out of state I decided I didn't want to figure out how to arrange dresses. I found a tea-length dress at Foley's (off the rack) and paid a friend from work to make minor alterations. I declared that since ours was an autumn wedding the colors would be autumn, and sent everyone money for dresses and shoes and told them to pick something autumnal that they liked and would wear again. We even had a morning wedding and lunchtime reception, so all of my out-of-staters would be able to drive back to their hotel in the daylight (and the road system here is VERY confusing to those not accustomed to it, so that was a concern). Simple and inexpensive enough we were able to afford to fly in some friends who otherwise would not have been able to make it. Then we splurged on Super Ambassador passes at the Polynesian Cultural Center. That got us our own personal guide, front and center seats to EVERYWHERE (the flame dancer was twirling those things RIGHT ABOVE our heads -- eek!), and a whole lot of fun! Sorry for the ramble (reminiscing is nice!). Congrats to you and the bride (and all the others here)!

Oh, baaaaaaaad. Must sent to MIL -- she has a coworker who LOVES really bad puns!

That has been a real issue with me all my life -- I could never get the words written down before the train of thought (an express, every time) blasted through the station and on to further thoughts and developments. Things got better after I learned to type (in high school on manual typewriters), and then computers became more common, but sometimes the thoughts STILL move too fast. For OP -- that description of your child sounds very like my DD11. Currently in private school (we will start homeschooling after the school year ends), had us and many teachers over the years stymied until we finally had her tested (again by a real neuropsych-- first time a few years ago was by someone useless). Some past teachers (and the first tester, a speech therapist who branched out) thought my DD was deliberately recalcitrant, stubborn, and refusing to pay attention. The neuropsych who tested her this past August, however, said DD is ADHD (primarily inattentive) and truly CAN'T focus, even when she really wants to. DD also has a very slow processing speed -- it takes a while for her brain to put the information in the proper places. If you ask her a question right after covering some material (say you wanted to check to see if she is paying attention) she truly can't answer right then. However, ask her the same thing an hour later, even if you didn't cover any of it at all again in the intervening time, and she can spout back quite a lot. And this goes on with her on a larger scale, too. For spelling if we start a coming week's list over the preceeding weekend she does much better on her spelling test at the end of the week than she does if she doesn't get the list until the Monday before. And history -- she does poorly on the tests at the end of each chapter. Things were looking gloomy for the cumulative history test (over 8 chapters) after Christmas break, but she was exhausted and I didn't make her study much -- just told her each day to look something over, and let her pick what and how much time she spent doing so. She spent very little time, but got a substantially better grade on the cumulative test. Teachers and parents were all amazed, and we discussed how enlightening an example this is of her slow processing speed. There are accommodations that, once identified and supported by testing, everyone is happy to do. Without the test results and the documentation, though, the school is at much less liberty to make accommodation. The tests and documentation give proof of the need, so they have clear support of their decision on accommodations to give to any authority that might challenge or question it. Without such evidence of the need they can be charged with showing favoritism, and letting some students turn in less work without their grade suffering. Before this latest (reliable) testing we had told teachers to send home any unfinished classwork that they can, so we could address it at home. This way our DDs would never get the idea that they can just sluff off in class and get out of work that way (at least, that was part of our intention). However, with both DDs the extra work has proven to be a real problem. We would have the girls working on homework as soon as they got home from school (with me working with them to keep them working and not spacing out), and often the elder (due to bigger work load) would often still be working on homework after supper. There was all too frequently no downtime for them, it was all school, homework, meals, and bed. We have since instead talked to the teachers (including younger DD's teacher -- she has not been tested nor shows the same level of issues as elder sis) about which work is truly necessary to complete, and which could be cut back on with no loss of coverage of the material. They are all happy to work with us on this, and mentioned that we are not the only ones they do this for. Our primary reason for switching to homeschool now boils down to DD11's slow processing speed. (There are other factors, too, but this is the main root, and one which we could see no other way around without great frustration and low self-esteem). In short, it's torture for her to try to stick with a classroom's schedule and take tests so soon after learning material. She simply can't work to the level of brilliance that becomes so apparent when she is allowed to work without time pressure. She learns the stuff just as quickly, she just can't regurgitate it without some "filing time" for her brain. By homeschooling I can reduce the number of tests, and when I want to evaluate progress using a measure that matches up with the school system's I can administer it after she has this "filing time". And I can change out the instructional methods used to keep re-engaging her attention and interest. By doing these I can, over time, also teach her methods I have learned the hard way in college and the workplace on maintaining enough focus when other people are talking. (I think I would be diagnosed with ADHD inattentive, too, were I a kid nowadays.) Your child sounds as brilliant as mine, and as unable to demonstrate that in the "usual" way. Get your child tested by a qualified neuropsych (you pediatrician can recommend a good one). It may have to be scheduled months ahead of time, but a thorough eval by a qualified professional can really help you ALL understand the way your child learns and works. Best wishes

How about treat slips? Think of various things (like picking the movie for a movie night) that they might consider a real treat and put a slip inside stating the item. For my DD11 just the promise of visiting the mall (whether we buy anything or not) gets her excited. There's also a lot of "puzzle" erasers out now -- small erasers made up of multiple parts. My kids love these, though I consider them a "toy", since they never get used for erasing. Have you asked your kids what type of small things they might like to find in the eggs? Emphasis on small -- not just in size, but expense, if you are to fill a bunch of eggs. NOTHING perishable, and no chocolate. The in-laws' dogs might find anything tasty, and if they don't things rot quite quickly in our heat and humidity.

Just a funny juxtaposition again. When I first saw this thread in the New Topics listing I hovered the mouse over the title -- that shows part of the OP and part of the latest reply (above). Try reading one, and then the reply quoted. To paraphrase: "I just cleaned my kitchen!" "That's just what cats do! Did you chase him with a spray bottle?" LOL

After the end of this school year we will be switching from private school to homeschool. My DDs will be in 4th and 6th grades. Would folks please post what they use for grammar and writing, and opinions on curricula? I personally would prefer more secular curricula, and want one with good grammar, sentence diagramming, builds good writing skills (in a DD who resists having to write stuff). I've looked at Rod & Staff and like what I see except for how heavily religious material permeates it. The school my kids are coming from changed their curricula selections at the start of this past year, which has led to some discontinuity in coverage of material. I may be doing some minor remedial work as it is to make sure a good foundation is laid. Can anyone please recommend good grammar and writing curricula, and where in those curricula to start a 4th grader and a 6th grader? Thanks!

I love the juxtaposition of things! In the New Topics view there was this post, followed immediately by "Should I just give him a calculator already?" I wondered how your Dad managed to last this long without a calculator! Happy Birthday to your Dad! Mine's 80!

I shop at our local Food Basket (locally owned) for the main groceries, HEB for things FB doesn't have, and Trader Joe's for fun stuff and my Uncle Sam's cereal. Frequency and order of visits in that order. FB is 1/2 mile from our house. HEB is on a very frequently traveled errand loop. TJ's is out of the way for me, so I only go when I or DDs absolutely MUST have their olive baguette, or some other yummy treat is deserved. If I go any more often I eat too many of their goodies and my dietary choices are all shot to heck. And you don't know what a diet-buster is until you try a spoonful of Cookie Butter.... Or chocolate mochi. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm........................... No Walmart groceries for me. FB has better meats/poultry for a better price, HEB has better fish/seafood, and Walmart is as far away as TJ's.

RAD For Kids -- I had the adult women's RAD class, and plan on finding the Kids one for my DDs. Water Safety -- especially life jackets. I ordered one in special for my eldest when she outgrew her child vest -- I wanted leg straps, so she wouldn't slide out the bottom if she were unconscious in the water. Now I need to get another one for our youngest, and I'd like adult vests with leg straps for DH and me. Calling 911 -- especially when the only phones around are cell phones. It's important to have practiced what to tell 911 (address FIRST!) to make sure help can find you. Fire drills -- be sure to do some at night when everyone is asleep. I found out something I heard is true -- kids really DO sleep through shrieking alarms, even when the alarm is in their own room. Know not only how to get out, but who you have to wake up. DH once set a pan on fire on the stove (accidentally) late at night (he was still up). The kids never woke up, though the smoke in the house was thick and ALL alarms (including in their rooms) were at full volume. TORNADO/STORM SAFETY!!!! This is my big pet peeve -- down south here everyone gets exited over the thought of a possible hurricane or tropical storm (which don't always hit our area every year), but totally ignore tornadoes, which we have several of every year. They are even spawned by the tropical storms that everyone watches for. I'm not saying don't prepare for tropical storms -- I'm just saying stop ignoring the threat of tornadoes! Make sure you have a ground- or below-ground floor, central room away from glass -- the more walls between you and the outside the better. Don't be fooled into thinking you can simply go to the side of the building away from the approaching tornado -- as it passes those winds will change direction and you will be in greater danger than you thought. If you find yourself in a highrise and can't get to or below ground head for interior hallways or rooms (the smaller the better) and hunker down and cover your head and belly.

Who says you have to eat "breakfast food" for breakfast? I'm a BIG fan of leftovers (for myself, at least). I eat a small breakfast with the kids before school, and then a second breakfast after I drop them off. Plenty of time to reheat something, or to cook something from scratch if I have a mind to do so.

I like my hands-free kit -- it's my DD11. When I'm driving and she's in the car I hand the phone to her to handle any and all incoming calls, texts, etc. I can put her on hold, mute, auto-pilot, whatever I need, and she gets more points towards convincing us to someday let her have a phone of her own. If I want to look at the GPS on the phone or anything I pull over -- too much congestion here, and people not paying attention. Also, most streets don't have sidewalks, so all of the pedestrians are in the street with the rest of us.

Lanolin Wipes -- not usually found near the other wipes, but in the breastfeeding section. These are MIRACLE WORKERS for rashes, and great for rash prevention. When my DD11 was a baby she had some nasty rashes until I found out about these. Cleared the rash quickly, and kept it from returning. We gave the daycare permission to use DD's wipes on any other child who came in with a rash, and to hand out a few to parents. Our 2nd DD never had diaper rash. I will also say -- these work great on adults, too. Chaffed from being in wet clothes too long (soaked at the beach, caught in rain, whatever)? Wipe down the area with these. "Girl" or incontinence issues causing discomfort? These help heal it. Very soothing.

Time for a new pastor, or a new church if that's the only way to get away from this guy. I'd worry that he's not just a bad example for the youngsters -- what other inappropriate conduct might be be hiding? Pastors hold a LOT of sway with their congregation, and those falsely "called" (not willing to constantly consider the ramifications of their ministry) can do great damage. Repeated juvenile behavior just won't do.

Thanks for the comments, and to the OP for posting. In prep for switching to hs TT and MUS were the two math curricula I was torn between. I had my 2 DD try TT on the website, and they liked it. DD11 was surprised that she might be allowed to "play a game" to learn math. It looks expensive ($120-$150 per grade) compared to others I've seen, but right now I'm thinking of buying both TT and MUS so we can try them both. It really helps to hear about others' experiences with stuff.

Sigh. My MIL, my SIL, and I each got a basic Keureg for Christmas a couple of years ago. (Other SIL had a different system, not sure what.) SIL's broke, mine's testy, and MIL's is little-used and so undiagnosed. Mine gets used primarily for heating water for instant oatmeal, tea bags, hot chocolate, etc. and not for actual K-cups. As it is, mine every so often dumps half the water into the spill tray directly and overheats the rest. I rarely drink coffee because the oils in it upset my stomach. I'm more of an herbal tea, chai, hot chocolate, or hot cider person. DH rarely drinks hot bevs at all. I'm thinking of replacing mine with something else for the kids and us to use to heat up pre-measured water, but haven't picked anything yet. I might invest in some coffee singles to offer others on occasion. Oh, and my personal trainer's Keureg also broke. I'm losing confidence in them rapidly.

Shades of Cary Grant in I Was a Male War Bride!

I will share this link and this thread with DH when he gets home. Totally hilarious!

I advise against. My BIL bought one a Christmas or two ago and it broke within days. He had trouble getting replacements (parts or whole I'm not clear on), and they broke, too. He advises to get a good Oster blender.

Let me warn you that eating a pound and a half of raw carrots in one sitting isn't exactly a good idea, either. So before you snack or graze MEASURE OUT A PORTION. Don't eat straight from the bag while doing other things. Expecially if you have to explain to anyone just why you spend so long in the restroom....

How old is he? When my brother was a teen his face started changing dramatically, often overnight. Studies done since (measuring babies and kids several times a day for a looong time) have also shown that kids grow in spurts overnight (while they sleep). This is why your child might suddenly have outgrown the new sneakers you just bought him, and why kids are suddenly quite clumsy and start scuffing their feet a lot again -- they have to figure out how to make the newly larger body move. I think the facial changes are included in this. When my niece was 12 (and younger) she was teased for being "fat" because she had a round face (she was SOLID muscle, as I demonstrated to her on multiple occasions -- NO flab anywhere). Now she's 13, stunningly gorgeous, looks 16 at least, and NO ONE is teasing her about how she looks. The changes came fast and dramatic once they started.

LOTS of hugs to you. And I'm following the discussion for any and all suggestions made -- with DD11 and DD8 I will undoubtedly run into teenage attitude, too. You are brave and wonderful, and whatever you decide will be for the best.

Sounds like possibly a vitamin or mineral deficiency. Have you been taking a multivitamin?