I was amazed at how many options are out there! I did get a canvas that was not stretched on a frame and so far its been fine. Because it is my first one I didn't stress too much!

This is my issue too. I am not creative on my own. I need to have directions. But the paint by number is perfect. There are some that require you to mix two colors to get a third but I made sure the first paint by number I am doing doesn't require that. I have to ease into these things!

The one I am working on is called "Lovers Walk on the Street". You can buy it on Amazon or any other craft company online. Just google it and you will find a lot of options.

Paint by numbers! I used to do them as a kid, but of course it was just the cartoony puppy or horses or whatever. But now I have discovered that they have some really beautiful options! The canvas it is printed on is high quality. I did buy my own paintbrushes as I read the ones that come with the kit can be cheap. For someone like me, who can't even draw a stick figure, this has been so much fun! I usually get a glass of wine and set up my audible book when I paint. It is so relaxing! Below is the one I am working on. Sorry the picture is so big. I don't know how to shrink it.

Congratulations!

Ugh no news yet! By the end of the day my phone is always dead because I check my emails so much! According to my lawyer this judge is quick with her decisions ..... I guess it all depends on how many people are ahead of me. And I don't know if I already said this, so forgive me if I am repeating myself, but my lawyer contacted me about a week after the trial. She said that the bailiff told her "The judge is going to crush that guy" because he was making such an ass out of himself. That gives me hope! Believe me, y'all will the the second to know once I get the ruling! 😊 Hopefully this week but I really don't know.

I was at my chiropractor's office the other day and he was chatting while adjusting my back. We were talking about how hot it has been and he mentioned that he and his wife went down to the local beach for a walk. Then he said "While we were walking we realized we were literally the only white people on the beach! I felt like I was in Jamaica or something!" We do live in a predominately white area .... only in the last 10 years or so has it started to diversify, so if you grew up in this area (like he has) then you may notice that there is a more diverse population than in the past. Then I started to think that if he said "While we were walking we realized we were literally the only old couple on the beach. I felt like I was in Cancun on Spring Break!" Or he could have said "we were the only old people on the beach, everyone there was a family with little kids" and neither one of those statements would have been bad. I usually try to make some kind of comment if I feel someone is saying something racist, but I didn't want to reprimand him if he was just making an innocent comment. So what say you?

I'm still waiting! The lawyers submitted their final paperwork about 2 weeks ago so now we are just in a holding pattern. I did get a copy of his final paperwork. He is offering such a small amount in alimony that I would literally be struggling until I retired. Such a bad bad man. But I promise to update once I do get the word from the judge!

My daughter had a similar situation. She had a slight curve in her spine (but not enough to be treated) and one leg was shorter than the other. I think she was about 12 when they diagnosed it. They also recommended removing growth plates, etc., but only if it got really bad. I, too, was horrified at the concept of such an invasive surgery. I also worried that the recovery process would be months and months! She is now 22 and fine. It did hinder her a bit when she was younger because she could not run as smoothly as other kids. She played softball extremely well but usually was replaced by a base runner. It made her running more like "ground pounding" than running. But if it wasn't for the high level of play through high school i'm not sure we would've noticed it holding her back in any way.

I have actually give this a lot of thought, especially when I cannot sleep at night. It helps me to quiet my mind! I have 2 ideas that I would love: I would love to have a knitting shop that also has a great little book store attached to it. I would also have a few cats around to help contribute to an atmosphere of "come in, browse, sit down with a good book (and maybe a cat on your lap!), find something interesting". The second idea assumes I have been bestowed with great creative talent, which I have not been. But, I envision that I live somewhere like Vermont and have a huge barn in the back that is my workshop, I would turn antique shop finds and yard sale junk into super cool, re-purposed items, like turning an old trunk into a coffee table, stuff like that. I would have a large, happy-sappy dog that followed me everywhere and when it was snowing I would light a fire and tinker away. And I would also have cats haha.

When my sister used to work the reservation line at a major airline, she would always tell people that they were allowed to bring "2 checked bags" . A woman called to complain that her luggage was plain and she did not see why she had to go out and buy specific luggage that had checks on it. 🤨

Winner winner I owe you a chicken dinner! Thank you it was making me crazy!!

No, is is on a regular computer, not a touch pad. I know I hit "something" by mistake and all of a sudden everything was really tiny. Only on this site though. Other sites are fine. Thanks for trying to help! 🙂

For some reason, and only with the Well Trained Mind website, my screen looks like I am looking through the wrong end of a telescope. Help!

I approached this in a two-pronged way. First, I would ALWAYS preach to them that their family and their home is a "soft spot". That the world can be a rough place where people pick on you, or call you names or just in general can wear you down. But how lucky they are that once they are with family there is NONE of that. "There are enough people in the world who would love to pick on you so we, as a family, have decided that this is a SAFE place for you. There is no name calling, no judging, no bullying. You can be at peace and let your guard down because you are with family and safe." That would be repeated, over and over, until it became the family mantra. They eventually became very invested in this concept because it did save them from being teased. Then, to enforce it, I would do this: if we were at the park and one kid spit water on the other, prompting them to dump water on the first, I would go over with mock horror and say "Oh my! I thought bringing you to the park would make you happy! I'm so sorry it is making you this unhappy that you have to pick at each other. We should leave immediately!" AND THEN YOU LEAVE THE PARK. When my girls did this over a toy I would do the same thing; "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that toy would make you happy but obviously it is making you unhappy so let me just get rid of it" AND THEN THROW THE TOY AWAY You only need to do this a few times for them to get it. After that, when bickering starts, I would just yell out to them "Is something making you unhappy?" and they would stop immediately. I was the youngest in a family of 3 children and no parental supervision. It was horrible. The "teasing" is not fun when someone is crying.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I also got to slip in that after he cut me off from any support I received a box of shirts he ordered (it was sent to me by mistake) and there were 10 shirts at $200 each. Just regular button down work shirts that he was paying $200 each for! Then my attorney asked me where I shop for clothes and I said Old Navy. Stuff like that that completely goes against his testimony that he had no money to send me. His affairs also came up. I am surprised the judge let me testify about those but she did give me leeway. I kept it factual but was able to show what a bum he is. I hope to never have to testify again. It is not fun at all. But I AM so glad that I finally had my day, I finally got to say my side, and I finally may be wrapping this whole thing up.

Yes, I think he was trying to show that the money I sent to our daughters was not necessary? IDK. When his attorney asked why I had submitted the VENMO payments as evidence and if I thought I should be reimbursed for it I said no, that I was just showing that while he was paying utilities on the house etc., I was also spending money on family things. I do believe his attorney had no idea what to cross examine me on. My STBX was scribbling notes the whole time I was testifying so I thought the cross would be difficult but she started going after details like how much money I made in 1989 vs. how much money he made. Seriously. 28 years ago and you want to make a point that he made $2000 more than me in 1989. That is why I think the judge is so done with him.

Update: I received the divorce decree late Friday night from my attorney. The judge gave me a decent but not overly-great settlement. I got half the 401K, 32% of the difference in our salaries for alimony until he turns 67 (10 years) and that's about it. She did not give me any percentage of his bonuses (which is a stinker because he makes some good bonuses of $90K+) and she did not give me any consideration for his share of his parent's house. The one that really surprised me was she is having us split our college debt for our daughters 50/50. I think that is unfair because he makes so much more than me. So in the end any money that I receive, like back alimony owed, will have to be used to clear debt, but I will be able to walk away debt free. Then I will just slowly build back up a cushion. If I was not living with my sister this would be a whole other scenario, but thank goodness I am. About 4 hours after I got the decision I had a HUGE panic attack. It was awful. I got all hot and had that pinprick feeling all over. The last time I had that feeling was at the very beginning of this process when my STBX said he wanted a divorce. I had hoped to NEVER have that feeling again but I think it was a combination of finally getting a court decision, realizing that I was not getting all I had hoped for (which would have given me a nice cushion) and just a general pissed off that 30 years of marriage has come down to such dirty mud-slinging. So unnecessary. I was literally freaking out. I had to go walk around my neighborhood just to get my breathing and heart rate to slow down. Today I am still a bit shaky. Is it silly to think I may have PTSD? There is still so much to do to wrap everything up, like cashing in some accounts and paperwork to transfer titles of cars, etc. But during all of this my youngest daughter, who is in Colorado with her boyfriend on vacation, texted me on Saturday "Having a great time! Going whitewater rafting today!" and I realized that THAT is what I have that is the most important .... a close, healthy relationship with my daughters. My STBX is still alone and still missing out on their lives. And now that the judgement came down and my STBX will have a lot of money coming in, I don't think our daughters will like seeing the discrepancy in how we live. I certainly live in a nice house and have plenty of money to live a moderate lifestyle, but they know that every dime I get from him I had to fight tooth and nail for. And if they ever get to the point where they speak to him again I don't think they will be very impressed with his fancy top-floor condo in the city. They will know it was at the expense of everything good we ever had. Thank you all for all of your kind words, support and good wishes during all of this. Life really does take you on some crazy paths that you never expect. But I think that it has changed me in a positive way. Today I don't necessarily feel strong and empowered, but that feeling will come back. And the freedom I have from his constant criticism and judgement has been so freeing. My favorite quote from my father: " Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see it is what you would have wanted had you known" So I hold onto that. Please forgive any typos I am doing this on my iPad. I think it went really really well. I felt like I touched on everything I wanted to get across. My Stbx sat there furiously scribbling notes the whole time in preparation of my cross examination but you know what they ended up doing? His attorney went over VENMO payments I had made to my daughters while they were in college. Literally one transaction at a time. “So, on May 1st you Venmo’d $30 dollars and wrote ‘because I love you’ ..... what was that for?” Ummmm I sent her $30 because she is my daughter and I love her? this went on for about 10 minutes until the judge told her it was just badgering. But the best, absolutely BEST moment was this: part of my stbx argument is that he never agreed to me having $2000 a month to pay my sister for rent. Just because he lived in our 5000 square foot home a year longer than he was supposed to and now lives in a $4000 a month condo in the city, I am not supposed to get consideration for my rent. So he asks the judge if he can re- testify on a point. He then gets up there and starts with his double talk ....”when she moved out all conversations of her rent were of a conceptual basis blah blah blah, things were still fluid blah blah” But then he gets really angry and starts to say “but there was NEVER any conversation...” and that is when the judge STOOD UP! Actually stood up and very angrily said “What are you saying?? That she is supposed to live with her sister rent free while you lived in the big house and now in a $4000 a month condo in the city?? You can get down now from the stand!” ladies, I have been waiting for that for 4 years and it was amazing. I really think the judge now understands all the players in this game. Before when only he testified I am sure she thought I would be just as greedy and arrogant as him. How else does a simple case bog down for 4 years? Now I think she gets it is him, he is the narcissist, the bully, the unreasonable one. she also kept looking at my sister in the audience and smiling at her which I am taking as a good sign. so now the attorneys have 3 weeks to file their final paperwork and then the judge will rule. But I am feeling really good about it

Why do male drivers have to back into parking spaces? I get that it is easier to pull out, but it seems so hard to back into a space it would be easier to pull nose in, and then have the whole parking lot to back out into! I find this especially with men with HUGE trucks. It's annoying tho, when you are behind someone in a parking lot and they drive past a spot, and then reverse, causing all types of jam ups, and then take forever to back into a space

Arrggg I didn't see the post from Jenn500! Thank you for helping me find it! I downloaded it to my Kindle last night and I think I am already halfway through. It's light but good reading!

Finally found it! It's called "Vertical Run" by Joseph Garber. I kept putting different descriptions into Google Books until finally it popped up! Thank you for all your help 🙂

Nope, definitely not a John Grisham. Damn! It was a good book and I would love to re-read it

I read it about 20 years ago. A man works for a big corporation in a white collar job, but suddenly one day everyone is pursuing him to try and catch him. They literally lock down the office building and even his wife is there yelling "there he is, get him!" Basically the story is him trying to escape from everyone and trying to figure out why they are after him. Any ideas?

I believe (and hope) we have the same judge. And I do worry he will have a complete tantrum. This is the guy who showed up at my attorney's office and wouldn't leave until they threatened to call 911. I live with my sister and two very strong, very tall and military trained nephews, so he can come there at his own peril haha. Dang it woman, you made me cry! 🙂 To all of you that have supported me through this, I cannot thank you enough. You have saved me a lot of my mental sanity, kept me grounded when my STBX was trying to tell me black was white, and probably saved me thousands on therapists! Sometimes I will be spinning around and around in my head, and someone will respond with something insightful, or calm, or just plain good old advice and I breath easier. I wish I could invite you all to the huge divorce party blowout that I am planning!