Delete them. Go to the website and find "beginner baby steps" and just do that. It's 30 days. Then when you are beginning to get a sense of control, you can start to read some of the emails. Alternatively, delete the sales pitches and read one motivational email daily-the "morning musing" or "ask flylady". I did find the motivational ones helped me when I was starting out.

Oh yes, I am well aware. This child has moved from the idea of "full time college several hours from home" to "less than full-time commuter school" in only one year, so he is already growing. Granted, it took some intense pressure from us and the recommendations of some expensive professionals for him to make these changes, but he is at least beginning to acknowledge his situation and accept some forms of help. Hooray for progress! Next we need to determine if his chosen school will allow him to take a CC class, not for transfer credit, this spring\summer, for practice.

Brief update here. My oldest is a senior in college, finished his 2 finals already, now working on a problem set and a project for his other 2 classes. Will be home Sunday night; *hopefully* it will all be done and submitted by then. My middle was granted a second semester deferral from starting his freshman year, so will be able to start in the fall. He is newly diagnosed with high-functioning autism, so we have our work cut out for us for the next 9 months! He is going to need to grow and change significantly before he will be ready for college. His diagnosis really opened my eyes about my oldest-I suspect he also has HFA, which helps a lot to explain why he has always seemed to struggle so much academically, despite being very bright. By way of examples, if he DOES finish and submit the project and problem set and hand them in before he arrives home, it will be the first time, in 3 1\2 years of college, that he will have finished all of his work before coming home. Sigh. Very much looking forward to having oldest home. Not sure how much longer he will still be home for all the holidays! He's talked a lot about moving to a sunnier place after he graduates.

Just a couple of thoughts: we did the same for my son's 8th birthday-bought a pair of female piggies. One gave birth a few weeks later. Since both really are female, she came from the pet store preggo. Okaaaaay...then we had 5 piggies! We ended up correctly sexing them and separating them soon enough to prevent another unplanned pregnancy! However, my son is now 14 1\2 and long ago lost interest in these pets. So just remember that they live for several years. I think the only remaining one must be getting old at 6 1\2, but she is still kicking.

People who have recurrent severe boils and pimples in this area may have hydradenitis suppurative. For that, Accutane can be wonderful, for some people. However, before I considered that, look at what has changed as a possible explanation, particularly since it sounds like you have not had this long term. Do you have cysts on both sides? Or only one side?

1. Model healthy eating and exercise habits. 2. Don't mention her habits or appearance. 3. Love and accept her just as she is. That IMO is far more important in this age group. I have a child that makes really poor food choices, and has consistently since he gained control of this. He is very thin and tall, so there is no concern about his weight. But I have not prevailed on changing his behavior one bit by pointing out the obvious. I do the shopping and cooking, so there is healthy food here, but really, I love cookies sometimes too and I see nothing wrong with that. I think he is beginning to learn a bit of moderation. I have another child, son, who really eats remarkably healthily, but his genetics are different and he's always tended toward plumpness-this bugs him, particularly given his brother's build and example! I have said so many times to him, "People come in all sizes. Put your energy into taking care of yourself, not thinking about your appearance." Injustice! Some people are just going to be thin, regardless.

A couple of thoughts on this: 2 of my 3 children have needed, and continue to need, extra help to function optimally. Both are young adults. It's honestly only been in the past 2 months, since we began to entertain a diagnosis of HFA in one of them, that I've really understood why this is the case. That, and seeing my third child go to school and realizing that the other two were NOT normal and I was not imagining this-though I sincerely hoped that I was at the time. So when I read articles like the one linked, I feel guilty for being such a helicoptering parent, and wonder again what I did wrong to make my kids so fragile and dependent...except that they are neither fragile nor dependent, it's different from that. They are not asking for help, complaining about workload, falling apart emotionally. They just plain have trouble functioning normally. Now that I have a normal child, I can see the glaring difference. The idea that schools may be contributing to this trend in intriguing-I agree, but not all schools handle students the same way. Once more I have to sing the praises of my son's school, a Bard Early College high school. Because the teachers are PhDs, not people who are trained as teachers, and because the school explicitly states that kids will be treated like adults and expected to conduct themselves like adults, they way they manage bad behavior is interesting. There is no lack of disruptive behavior, but I also see more kids choosing to control themselves, to work, and definitely the great majority are very engaged and interested in learning. So IMO this approach works, but there is a learning curve that last several months during which things are not ideal.

I think you are right. The context matters a lot here. When I've witnessed this question asked, it often seems to be "what is your ethnic background" because it's a person who is clearly American asking someone who by appearance might or might not be American, and no one is traveling at the time. We are at work or in a home school group or in school. I think if you are on a trip, and clearly that is the case, then friendly conversation like this means something different. When I've seen the followup question, "No, but where are you REALLY from" it's always been in a setting where small talk about the weather wouldn't really be expected-like in school, or at work. I also want to clarify what I said earlier about patients talking to the male medical student by default. I hope you don't assume we called them out on this or made them uncomfortable in any way for doing this-we did not. It's an understandable mistake. I mentioned it only to point out that people may not recognize their biases. And have no ill intention at all that is conscious. That does not mean they don't have biases.

I think there is a big difference between saying, "Where are you from" and "What is your ethnic background", which is the REAL question, I think, that is intended when people are asking this question. It also helps the questioner to remember that it IS a slightly personal question that might not be welcomed by everyone.

What you say sounds so sensible. What directly contradicts it is the clearly stated words of other posters in this very thread. I don't think you have bad intentions, but I do think that people who are well-intentioned can still hurt other people's feelings unintentionally. So really one has a choice-ignore the idea of microagressions, and accept the possibility of hurting another's feelings unintentionally, or accept the words of people who have experienced them, and try to remember these ideas, with the hope of not hurting someone else. I have experienced what could be called micro-agressions. When my team at work (attending doctor, residents, and medical students) round, if we are all female except the students, repeatedly, patients assume the students are the attending\person in authority. If this hadn't happened repeatedly, MANY times, I would dismiss it. And it's not so much that my feelings were hurt, as that it really demonstrated people's unconscious biases (presumably, that men are more competent and authoritative). I've also seen black doctors in my group more than once mistaken for people who are not doctors, but some lower rank person. And I accept that over the course of a lifetime, slights like these could hurt, so I try to avoid them.

I love Christmas music, especially classical music and traditional carols like Silent Night and Hark the Herald Angels. Nutcracker! Can't get too much of it! But I can wear out on it too. I don't listen to many regular radio stations because I don't care for many of the holiday songs they play. But even the completely offensive or silly ones (Adam Sandler, anyone?) have their place, in my place!

Paternity testing is the surest way to get answers to your questions. Beta thalassemia can be caused by hundreds of different potential gene mutations so may look very different from one person to the next. There is a high likelihood that if your biological father also has it, he has not been diagnosed. Women with thalassemia are more often diagnosed because they are tested more frequently for anemia during pregnancy. So his claim that he does not have it could me he is lying, or that he is not your father, or that he has it and hasn't been diagnosed. Sorry. That doesn't make things any easier for you, I realize, OP.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-home-is-not-democracy/201306/is-my-child-sociopath I think some of the points made in this article are excellent. In case you choose not to read, I'll summarize that children (particularly young ones) are very plastic, that kids who appear to have sociopathic traits can go on to be OK as adults, and that conduct disorder is NOT a life sentence or an immutable part of a child's character. So I will be a somewhat dissenting voice here and point out that zero tolerance, moral judgement and rejection\isolation are not going to be in this boy's best interests. Of course you have the rest of the class to consider too. But I assume you are talking about grammar stage children here. Unless he is bullying, he probably is doing no harm to the other students in the class. So I would err on the side of talking to Mom, telling her exactly what you are observing, and including\engaging him as much as you can. Give him something hard to do.

Yes. My still-not-diagnosed 18 yo still does this. He waits for ME to respond to a person who initiates a conversation with him. If I don't, he still, usually, says nothing. : (

He said it: http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/trump-says-he-would-certainly-implement-muslim-database-n466716

Is he willing to allow part of his (sounds like generously large) space be a "flex space"? So that a curtain can be hung that is only opened when he is down there and kids' stuff is put away as neatly as possible?

They are beautiful! One of my happiest memories of my kids' little years was when we adopted a pregnant cat and she shortly gave birth to 4 kittens that we then "raised". We still have 2 of them, one each went to 2 family friends, and mama cat went to my mom and dad, who had just lost their pet and wanted another cat. Those kittens were handled constantly when they were babies! And the are so well-socialized, all are very sweet tempered and friendly. I hope you have as much good fortune with your kittens!

Surveillance. Intervention (surgical) if pre-cancerous or cancerous cells develop. But the evidence is not yet crystal clear about the best approach to surveillance, the subgroups that benefit least and most from surveillance, and the best interventions. It appears that surveillance is beneficial in terms of saving lives, but it's not perfect. Some people who have had careful surveillance still get advanced cancers and die from them. And obviously many people get no surveillance and are fine. The details are still not clear.

J-rap, you have hit the nail directly on the head here. NO ONE can be certain of the outcome of any given situation. We can't see the future yet. One point of the article is that a lot of testing and medical intervention that is done is not necessary, or is even potentially harmful. The drivers of this phenomenon are multiple: CYA\litigation, profit, poor knowledge of scientific information, and patient fears\demands. No one factor is responsible. For every sensible person who declines offered antibiotics for a cold, the is another who throws a tantrum and leaves the practice over NOT getting antibiotics for a cold. Sparkly Unicorn, you have not gotten good care. Chronic reflux is a major risk factor for cancer. Your doctors should have explained that to you...they are not suggesting a test without good reason. Clearly, you did not get that very important piece of information!

Vetted? If my instinct is correct, the school will skirt the rules if the need is there. But now I'm going to check!

I would gladly welcome any and all help! At this point, the form, if any, that this will take is unclear. But the point you make about the emotional side of how these students feel is excellent. I think that getting them to engage right at the beginning will probably be one of our biggest challenges. But I think you may be wrong about one thing: most of the students at this school were NOT the low ones. The school is rather selective. That gives you some idea of just how incredibly, systemically BAD our district is. The mom I am sharing this committee with told me that her twins went to a charter for middle school. They actually had NO math teacher after September during their eighth grade year. When the teacher resigned, the school did not replace her with another teacher for an entire year. How is that even legal???? It is one reason I am motivated to try to do something. For one thing, this school, like no other I've ever had any contact with, actually cares whether the kids learn enough to be ready for college. They are actually willing to see the problems and accept any help from volunteers or parents who can assist. It is going to be motivating the students that will be our challenge. I wonder about food\treat bribery or other forms of bribery...any ideas?

Jackie-thank you!! A free paper test that is not copyrighted is exactly what I need. I did not use Saxon so I didn't know this was available, but it fits the bill well. I could easily print as many copies as needed and administer them when we first get the students together. Thank you so much!

The school does not have cash, though I do think that we could fundraise to purchase some materials. Can you tell me the name of a smart math assessment? I have some idea what you mean, but I don't know of any.

Now that my youngest is in school (by his choice) as a ninth grader, I have waded into he waters of school volunteering. He goes to a new public contract school. It is slightly different from a charter, in our district, parents must put together a charter.I love his school, he loves it and is very happy there. But many of the students come from moderately-severely educationally deprived backgrounds. I volunteered, with another parent, to put together some math tutoring. Then we met with the math teacher. He estimates that at least half the students (that wold be 80 kids) are in dire need of tutoring to reach a "college prep high school" level in math. I am questioning my wisdom in signing up. So far, I've thought of a basic system of first doing placement tests, then dividing the students by level of severity. The most severe would get one-on-one or very small group tutoring in arithmetic, pre-algebra and algebra. Moderately severe ??? Least severe would be directed to Khan Academy with a set of planned exercises that the math teacher and us volunteer parents can look over when able. Whew. Please give me any advice\ideas\thoughts. You don't need to remind me not to volunteer for stuff again!!

Too lazy to google here but last year I made a Martha recipe, Brussels Sprouts vinaigrette and it was delicious-even several kids ate some! Easy too, except for preparing the sprouts to cook, which is tedious.