I've been in a similar situation with a similarly aged child-not the RV, but definitely the self-isolation, total lack of motivation, lack of future orientation...etc. He was in high school at the time so no excuse for not having friends. He ignored overtures-until they stopped. I don't have all the answers here but one of the most helpful steps we took was to limit wifi access. He was ANGRY when we did this. Fortunately he does not have violent tendencies and our relationship is basically good, and he adjusted. His grades did not improve, but he was forced to spend more time actually talking to us. It has been a slow process and I have no idea about the long or even medium term, but taking the following steps helped: -limit computer and video game time -make sure he is getting at least SOME decent protein daily (his chosen diet is *awful*) -made him get a job-not easy-but it has helped his confidence a lot -professional help in the form of meds, then eventually (when he was willing-took awhile-counseling) Best wishes to you.

All I can observe is that reading the percentage of people (mostly women, I assume) who can drive a stick, I think we are a pretty unusual group. I know at least 2 women at work who cannot drive AT ALL. They are professionals with graduate degrees. That frankly shocks me. One uses public transportation and one is *driven to work and back every day* in one case. Wow.

Without reading every response, I'll tell you my story. I have 3 boys. My oldest did not verbally abuse or demean his sibs, generally. He just completely ignored them. He had no relationship with them to speak of, for the first 18 years of his life. When he was 17, he went away to another continent for 10 months, as an exchange student. He came back a changed person, yes, but the break from him, for his brothers, was really key to their development, in the sense that they were spared contact with someone who refused to acknowledge them or treat them like human beings. So the thaw started when he came home, and that year was a beginning of a relationship for them. One year later, he moved out and went to college and has only lived at home for short periods of time, the longest, 3 months, since then. I do things to facilitate their relationship, like setting up a weekly phone call during which we all talk to eldest, and vacationing together when possible. But I honestly think that only a radical departure of nearly a year allowed them to reset their perceptions of each other.

My insomnia was non-existent until I started home schooling a decade ago, which meant working weekend nights for me. Even though I do not work full time, it was enough to completely end my capability to sleep more than 3-4 hours at a stretch, many nights. What has helped: -regular vigorous exercise. You have to sweat and be out of breath for it to really help IMO. -magnesium-helped a tiny bit -when I'm desperate, melatonin I do not take the whole melatonin, I smash the pills and take about 1 mg. It carries over, for me, meaning, it's easier for me to go to sleep, or BACK to sleep, for a couple of days after I take one. Apparently I have a deficiency of the thing that makes one go to sleep.

I was just discussing this very question earlier today with my rising ninth grader. We got a Chromebook for his brother and I regret it. There is so much you cannot do with a computer that has no memory capacity. He could not use it for programming. We decided for this high schooler, when it becomes necessary, we will get an inexpensive Windows compatible laptop. I also know that my son's inability to use the Chromebook might be because of our lack of skill, not the computer's lack of capability.

Boat tour of Tokyo Harbor, after dark. We were in Tokyo in April and a tour like this (with an incredibly delicious dinner!) was a part of the wedding festivities we were there for. It was really beautiful. Also-the Sky Tree, also after dark. The 360 degree view of the city at night was amazing. Also-the old city-Sakusa is the name, I think. Lots of interested, touristy shopping and a beautiful shrine at the end of the walk.

I appreciate the replies! I think one of my goals is to head off those unhealthy relationships before they happen. Kids\young adults have a hard time being objective about a BF or GF when they are already involved, KWIM? My question was prompted by my son's persistent interest in meeting a kid who lives 4 hours away from us, and who has made zero effort in the "relationship", such as it is. I have talked to him several times about the issue of relationships (and I mean friendships here-he is not in a romantic relationship) with people who give nothing, AT ALL, back. So most recently, we talked again and I just found myself reiterating that there is no relationship if you are the person who is doing all of the contacting, supportive words, sending gifts (yes!) and the other person has not made any similar efforts. I think he is getting it, slowly. Some of you have pointed out the value of the real-life examples all around us-and that is an excellent point. Without seeming too judgey, I hope to simply help them see how some choices lead to some outcomes, and also to grasp that healthy friendships are about mutual sharing, give-and-take.

That says it all, I guess. I have muddled along for a few years now and I still think I need to be doing more in this area. I guess I see my kids sometime in situations where they are assuming a caretaking role or are the "counselor". All of them seem to have a propensity to be attracted to kids who are needy and even sometimes manipulative. Perhaps so many kids in this age group fit those descriptions that I am overreacting. What says the hive? How have you handled this?

Here I am! My son who was accepted at Drexel last year was only homeschooled until high school, so unfortunately I can't help you. But I will say that I think it's crazy that there are still colleges out there that require the GED from home schoolers. Ugg.

If you are wondering, they do have interventional neuroradiology.

Without reading any other responses, I'll just say what we did. If we did not call, we wouldn't hear from ds. Even though he loves us, he is absolutely terrible about maintaining connections. So I asked him at the beginning of freshman year if he would like to take regularly, and when he said yes, and decided on weekly, we chose a night that usually works for him. It changes based on his schedule, and we text first to make sure it's a good time. We send the phone around so all of us talk and in fact he now probably talks more to his brothers than he did when he was home. Works for us.

Oh Jenny, how awful. I am so sorry that both of your kids are having to cope with broken promises, lack of college housing (what is UP WITH THAT?? Letting him know so late in the game is just so wrong). It just occurred to me that it might be possible to plead your care more successfully for your son if the university was aware that he IS underage and thus cannot easily find off campus housing. I'm sure it's not something that actually comes up often for them and it might mean they would make a special effort to house him. It can't hurt... I wish you well and I hope it somehow works out for both of them.

You just want to make sure you are at a referral center-also called a tertiary care hospital. A children's hospital affiliated with a university is almost always a good bet. The bottom line is that you want a place that has both experienced pedi neurosurgeons AND neurointerventional radiology. Many AVMs can be repaired using noninvasive techniques, depending on the size and location of the AVM. Find out if the hospital has those things. You want the less invasive procedure to be an option if your daughter's AVM qualifies.

I would not feel comfortable. I know 2 children personally who had scary near-drowning incidents even with good and seemingly careful parental supervision. It's beyond my comfort level. But my disclaimer is that I have access to a reasonable neighborhood pool near home so we use that almost daily. All the fun without any of the responsibility. ETA: One was a clever toddler who pushed out the screen and went into the pool room. The other was a neighbor's pool, after the season, and a preschooler who went out of his own house unobserved, into the neighbor's yard, and was readying for a nude dip when he was finally found by my panicked SIL. I also saw a near-downing at a birthday party in a crowded family pool. The little girl forgot her "floaties" and slipped off the downsloping bottom unobserved. She was OK in the end but it was very frightening for all of us.

I'm just seeing this now. I am working a couple of those days, and every Friday night. Now that my youngest is starting school in September, I am theoretically free more! I will vote the least bad days for me and hope it works out. Would love to meet you all! Actually, I'm seeing now that between orthodontic visits and various commitments, the best day varies by the week. I'll take a stab and hope it works out.

Ethel, I am so sorry you had to get this news. I haven't read any of the other responses, but a couple of thoughts: do they anticipate you will be cured by surgery? Or do they anticipate probable chemo\radiation? In terms of quality of life and your capacity to keep teaching your son, that matters. Endometrial cancer is pretty curable when it's not at an advanced stage, and usually, it's not, so that is good! I hope you are in that category!

One more thought, Beth: there are 2 symptoms you describe that you should keep a closer eye on: limbs feeling heavy, and paranoia. A sensation of heaviness is how it feels when there is muscle weakness. People can experience muscle weakness with iron deficiency\anemia, but dozens of other conditions can cause this too. Just keep tabs on her, especially if she is describing any progression of it over time. Paranoia is also potentially concerning. The first thing I wonder about is a psychiatric condition, like severe depression or mania. Manic people can be paranoid for sure, and this can be triggered by anti-depressant meds (which are sometimes given for anxiety FYI), but your description of her doesn't fit at all with mania. Severe depression can also be associated with paranoia, and of course other conditions that are less common. Just keep tabs on her and watch for anything new or concerning. You sound extremely sensible. ETA: iron deficiency can cause strange neurologic\psychiatric symptoms (like pica) so that might explain the paranoia...still, keep an eye.

Iron deficiency can cause all of the symptoms you describe, sometimes even in people who do not yet have anemia. Not clear why some people are so very sensitive to iron deficiency. If she has been taking the supplements faithfully and eating an iron-rich diet and still feels this way, get iron level checked again to ensure she is absorbing it.

I joined at first to keep tabs on my teens. I rarely post anything myself. I look at FB once or twice a week-if that. But I've found it handy at times. ETA: I think you should join if it will be useful to you! That is really the only reason for doing it.

Killing the frogs is one issue but it sounds like your concern is more the "following" aspect of it. That would be most concerning to me as well-immaturity IMO can explain the senseless killing and those kinds of impulses will change as he grows up. Doing an act to gain the approval and acceptance of other kids is something I would work on. Probably a few conversations about the topic would be a good place to start. We had problems here in a similar situation-my children were 3 1\2 years apart so fairly significant age difference, and I learned that I needed to provide some social opportunities for my younger child too-ones that his older sib had to be patient and nice for also-so it was good practice for him too.

I lived this last year. My parents were in a bad car accident and spent weeks in the ICU and then in rehab. I had to enroll my son in the local PS for the last 6 weeks of school. IMO, your senior should really get priority treatment-it is her last year, your last together, she will be planning for her next steps. If your little one did nothing but read books and help out at home for 6 months, it would not be earth-shattering. So I would start off by listing, with your eldest dd's help, her priorities for the year, and yours for her as well. Then look at this list and figure out what is possible and what isn't. Work with her to develop a plan for her educational needs to be met, as closely as possible. Then go down the line to the youngers. A few months in school might not be awful for your middle schoolers, if you are really in need of time to devote to your FIL that they cannot be a part of. My ds chose going to school over coming with me, because a kid his age would have been mostly not allowed to see them in the ICU, and he would have spent many hours waiting around for me with not much to do. School was not great, but we managed. The threads above address some of the home helps that you may be able to take advantage of.

Ok, every single pet-including guinea pigs? I assume so...I guess it would be a very small dose of the flea medicine we put not he cats. Now I'm wondering if she is the reason we cannot get rid of the fleas.

So I see that I can order Revolution in large dog sizes. How difficult would it be to titrate the dose for my roughly 15 pound cats? Has anyone done this? I will check on order from overseas as well-good idea!

I have 2 cats and I need help to get rid of their fleas. Paid a small fortune for Easy Spot and saw no benefit at all. I comb regularly, vacuum....less than I should. What have you used that really works? Bonus if it also works for ticks, which we have a huge problem with.

Re: STEM-oriented high schoolers: I've been there. Plus 2e. I would have really appreciated something to help me to evaluate the quality of my CC. I'm in the unusual situation of have several community college systems within striking distance. I learned that some are remedial, some are honors. Not sure if this is only worthwhile locally but it turns out that one of the CCs has a co-operative admissions program with the state flagship's engineering school. Not surprisingly, the math and physics at that CC are really excellent-not so some of their other offerings. Is there any systematic way to evaluate CCs??