Well, the problem is he doesn't really believe in counseling of any kind. He says they are just professional "opinion-havers". The reason he talks to me about it is because talks with her are going nowhere and he is at the end of his rope. Obviously, he is my brother so I am partial, but I have not experienced this particular problem in my marriage so it is hard for me to relate. I thought if some ladies on the board have been through this they may have a different view to share (and I was right...you ladies give great insight!).

These are such great suggestions! Thank you!

A few more details... my brother DOES help in the house...he has to or a lot of it just doesn't get done. He comes home to a messy house, no dinner, his wife is watching TV and dressed in sweatpants. I agree she may be depressed. He HAS talked to her, numerous times, about her weight. He has paid for gym memberships but she never goes. He buys healthy food for the house, she orders out. That's why he is frustrated. I agree that we should love our spouses no matter what. But what about when that spouse takes advantage of it? I have another friend who has gained A LOT of weight since getting married and knows her husband doesn't like it but when she talks to me about it she says "I'm his wife. He has to love me no matter what." Is that fair????? This particular marital bait and switch instance strikes a nerve in women because it is about looks but it could be applied to anything. What if your dh was a hardworking guy when you married him then up and quits his job and refuses to work? Or like my BFF, what if your husband says he is a Christian, then after you are married changes his mind and says he is an atheist? Or like my mom whose second husband said he was a daytrader and had all kinds of money in the stock market. After they were married she finds out he is really an unemployed bum? Where is the line between accepting changes in your spouse and feeling like you've been scammed?

I am very close with my brother, we are best friends. He is having some "issues" in his marriage that he has been talking through with me. They've only been married about 5 years. Of course, as you all know, when marriages go wrong it is rarely one thing or one person's fault and I am very direct and honest with him about what he needs to do to be a better husband (hey, he asked!). But here's where things get sticky. One of his complaints is that his wife has "let herself go" since getting married. She has gained a lot of weight. She used to be the dolled-up, snazzy-dresser and now she is the sweatpants and ponytail kind. She does not keep the house clean enough for him, same with laundry, dinner is sporadic, etc. etc. They have one child, a 4yo, and my SIL only works 3 days a week. My brother works about 60 hours a week. He says he loves her (and she is a great person) but feels that she is being disrespectful to him by letting herself (and the home) go like this. You know, like she kept her weight down and always looked nice until he married her and now she doesn't seem to care any more (or at least not enough to do anythng about it). He calls it the "marital bait and switch". So what says the hive? Is it disrespectful to your spouse to let yourself go after you get married?

My ds (10yo) had a DS for a while and he liked it but then he traded it in for PSP and in his opinion "it's WAY better". ;)

OK, I'll admit it, I feel the same way when a bull "gets" a matador. :leaving:

ME!!! At midnight on Thursday with my SIL!!!!

:iagree::iagree::iagree::lol::lol::lol:

:lol::lol::lol: My thoughts exactly. In fact, I believe my ds did respond to a bully's comments like this once (something along the lines of "That's OK. I'll be your boss one day"). On a more mature note, that kid is a bully and I wouldn't let my child play with him anymore.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

In Michigan? Ummm, the Mackinac Bridge? Oh yeah, The Greenfield Village and Henry Ford Museum, of course. That is one awesome thing this wretched state has to offer. :D

I was always rooted...lived in the same city most of my life. Then I moved. Then I moved again a year later. It's been 6 months and I am ready to move again. So now I am a mover!

1. About age 3 2. same 3. my ds has been handling his own shower routine since about age 8 or 9

This absolutely broke my heart. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

We all have to be at peace with our own decisions. I'm glad you are at peace with yours.

We will have about 13 people and we only do the turkey and dressing. Everyone else brings a dish (the potatos, gravy, veggies, rolls, pies, etc.). I make a FABULOUS cornbread dressing that takes me forever and I only make it once a year.

No advice but lots of :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

We do although I prefer the real stuff.

I want to move back to the mountains of western NC. Desperately.

I don't generally use the term "courtship" but we do not believe in "one-on-one", unchaperoned, recreational dating. I am not going to arrange my sons' marriages :D but I am also not going to allow them to put themselves in situations where they would be unduly tempted. We teach that sex is a wonderful gift to married couples from God, you can only give your virginity once so make sure it is Ms. Right, not Ms. Right-Now. And my oldest does know that sex will “feel good†which is why people want to do it even when they shouldn’t. We teach sex is for procreation and recreation (inside a marriage). We have discussed a little about STDs and pregnancy but he is also young and will get more details as he gets older. We teach porn is sinful and the devil's way of taking something good and twisting it (as are strip clubs). Sex toys? That's up to them (inside marriage). Homosexuality is also the product of a fallen world, is a sin, and can be forgiven. Divorce is contrary to God's will for us and should be avoided at all costs. But, like other sin, it happens and can be forgiven.

My ds and I have done this before. But he always wants a hotel with a pool! :D It is a great age and the fact that he wants some time to talk with his mom is great...take it while you can. I frequently take my oldest out to dinner or the movies, just the two of us, and it gives us a chance to talk about things of the "future".

Of all the stuff in my signature line, the one thing we are not keeping up with is A Child's Geography and I am not sure why...we just aren't.

Ours is "An Amen Kind of Love" by Daryl Singletary.

I hope this isn't what you got from my comments. I am NOT saying that any parent that allows their child to date is condoning sex. My parents allowed me to date and definitely did NOT condone sex. I still did it anyways (and I had a great relationship with my parents who taught me all the right things and trusted me). I would say that a majority of parents do NOT "condone" teenage sex...but it still happens...a lot. My reasons for not allowing dating until my son is an adult are more numerous than just not wanting him to engage in teenage sex BUT it is one of the reasons. Will he automatically have sex just because he starts to date? Of course not. Does dating increase the odds, though, in this day and age? You betcha. So in regards to the OP, I will not allow my sons to date until they are older for many reasons, one (and only one) of them being that I do not want them to be pressured or tempted to give away something that should be saved for their wives.