I would answer but cannot yet picture an emotionally healthy young adult participating in the family unit AS an adult. By this I mean taking care of their own stuff and not making more work. If we are camping they help wash dishes, at least their own and take turns with the cooking dishes. I also think there are manor lifestyle differences that prevent full inclusion. They stare at screens and refuse all physical activity, we are planning a week long bicycle trip. They can come, but they have to actually ride a bike vs pushing buttons to make it go on a screen.

If by white you mean seeing my pasty white legs in shorts, then yes, it is a white Christmas here

Last night I secured the sacrificial victim. We will be completing the ceremony tonight to stop the slow death of the sun.

We have no carpet. I sweep daily, somestimes twice a day and find another cat. I vacuum the pile along with the edges where the broom just cannot do a good job and the wood trim. When I get desperate I get on my hands and knees to clean the edges and corners. My husband has a steam mop and we steam mop weekly, which is not often enough. I bought a wet jet type mop and extra reusable pads to hopefully get us through each week. I need to oil the floor but I am currently just too tired to manage. For the wood stairs I use a wet rag around the edges after sweeping. I swept yesterday mid day and woke up to very visible clues that I need to sweep. Again.

What kind of windows? Maybe look at rebuilding them. It is not hard and could be done, or even hired out, for a fraction.

The money and flaunting is not the big thing, more of that straw that breaks the camels back. It is pointed. It is the same person who hurt my kid. Holidays have also been stressful, now I find them triggering. My son was hurt on Christmas last year. The day is forever tied to that event.

Holidays. First Christmas without my grandma. Or uncle. Or other uncle. Year anniversery when a !$*& hurt my kid. Crappy significant health issues. I fear another death. Someone owes me a significant amount of money and is flaunting money and picked something I would know to the cost of while claiming to be poor. Materials alone exceed what I am owed. It FEELS like a targeted purchase.

It was chocolate. Locally made. In a cute funny gift box. Now it is generic xmas.

For people who have everything. Are already getting a case of wine. Do not like the type of local food that they cannot get elsewhere. I had an idea and when I went to get it they do not sell it in December and istead have another item that is basically the same but is significantly more generic and xmas themed. Due to the insane crowds I could not get an employees attention to see if they could create the other packaging. I will not buy the generic xmas item, it does not have the same appeal and would be little more than a random pull from a generic big box store. I do not have time or the resources to create the packaging from scratch. I did not really have the time I spent today fighting the crowds to get to the store.

Have you read what you have posted? That is where I get my informatiin from.

This, and the posts about this by you bother me. You are a family. Maybe not a tradition family, but a family non the less. I have two adult step children who are absolute disasters. One blames dad for their choices in life (not going to college, not getting a job). I have enabling inlaws who make the problem worse. We are still a family. DH and I may have no clue how the heck to wake the adults up to the reality that they will end up destitute at best, dead at worse, because of their choices. We offer advice. We set examples, my husband is going back to school to finish his degree, my son was suppossed to start college in January and I have gone back for some training and will be starting an apprenticeship program. All to show how important education is. My son, at 14, is opening a Roth IRA and touring colleges and getting ready to start. This has been an open and ongoing conversation since before we formally blended the families. The steps heard me talking to my son about college when he was 9. The exposure and examples have not been enough and the steps do not get it. As a result we are stepping things up from talking and examples to handholding. My husband will be taking the older step to a place that is open for walk ins to come in a access computers that are limited to job postings, they will teach how to fill out applications, how to dress for interviews, how to navigate public transportation etc. Do they have to go? Well, it is tied to having a place to live and being a part of the family. Once I am well enough and DH has the pattern established, I will take over some of the driving them to the place. My son, who has a knack for public transportation, will teach them how to use it and there will be required tasks, for example, getting to Target or Walmart to buy new underwear or findind a second grocery store. Or whatever is needed. Skills will be explicitly taught then expected to be done independently. Simply saying "you can do X if you want" has not been enough even with everyone else showing the example. Baby steps are needed with full family involvement to teach and do along side them. Everyone is in college or apprenticeship program.

I am looking at surgery and follow up for a medical condition that will keep me off my feet and needing to be less active for long enough that I will go insane without mental stimulation. It was suggested that I learn another language and I really like that idea. I currently have enough ASL to communicate effectively, but not fluently. I have lightly studied, Greek, Sanskrit, Hindi and Tibetan. With enough time, I can cobble a basic understanding of small amounts of written text in Spanish and French depending on context. I am not fluent in any of these. I have no plans to travel or fully immerse myself in the language. I have friends I can practice with or ask for help who have studied to the point of being fluent in, or are native speakers of Spanish, French, Hindi, Tibetan, and ASL. French or Spanish I will get the most practice on and I can borrow reading materials, such as books and instruction manual's (yes, I read them for fun), from friends to practice with. Another option in to learn German with a friend who has mentioned wanting to study it. I would not know someone who is fluent in it, but I would have someone who is learning it at the same time. Thoughts?

Why?

It is not a financial strain. I just cannot get everywhere I need without it. The transportation option ends to early.

Huh. I have been debating inviting my son's best friend to fly in for part of our vacation. Both boys have a similar strong interest in a location we are traveling to. Both would get way more out of it than DH and I ever would and are old enough to be dropped off at the door of the specific place while DH and I do anything that is not akin to gouging our eyeballs out after the first day. I am not inviting him to seperate him from his family. I am not inviting him because he family cannot afford it. I am inviting him because both boys would get so much more out of it together.

I have severe anxiety. Depression was ruled out.

Slower. I cannot be expected to just jump in the car on a moments notice to go someplace. Trips have to be intentional and planned in advance. I am not isolated, I can get almost everywhere I need on foot or by bus, including social and me things. In an emergency I can call and ambulance or, if not life threatening, Uber.

I am going to look at grocery delivery now that I found a good store. I want to give up my car. I cannot because one appointment is too far too walk and does not have a bus option. Almost everything else is close enough to walk or take the bus. I am shutting down. Even things that used to be fun are becoming a chore. I just want to focus on me and doing things that I want. I want to be a priority.

Since my son was DX with a life treatening illness 7 years ago I have been running through life at breakneck speeds. As any parent of a child with a serious chronic illness can tell you it is exhausting to keep up with all the medical appointments, and try to smash in as much living of life as is possible while not falling behind on schoolwork. I am tired. I have been tired for a while, but this past year has been too much. I want to slow down. We walk as much as possible, take the bus more often, but I want to do more. Any other ideas?

Currently? $150 a semester and $5/week sometimes. I was spending a lot more. I do not miss it.

Move to another continent and no longer communicate except via text? Not offering advice is probably the best, but aside from not speaking to them I have no clue how to actually manage this with important issues.

I own almost nothing found at big box stores. The games we play are heavy and often not entry level games.

My view is influenced by dealing with gaslighting, emotionly abusive inlaws and step adultren who say they will do X, but have no intention of it. I am tired of meaningless apologies that are little more than "shut up I said I was sorry leave me alone to continue being a jerk doing the exact same thing." I am closer to your husband. I look at actions and do not put weight in words. In fact, I automatically reject anything they say and assume it is little more than a lie or a lead in to gaslight or rewrite facts.

Enabler

I am happy I live close enough to Ikea not to need to pay shipping.